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Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

Therapeutic Mushroom Stress Ball

$7.99

There's not mushroom for stress in your life Our Therapeutic Mushroom Stress Ball will relax you so much, you’ll feel like you’re a tiny gnome perched on its red and white cap, blowing bubbles as unicorns frolic in a nearby field. Wow,...

Fowl Language Mug

$14.99

Fowl-mouthed fine feathered friends! Some of our feathered friends are positively fowl-mouthed and our amusing Fowl Language Mug features a collection of seemingly innocent birds, all with rather rude names. This is the perfect mug for any bird...

Rainbow Bandages

$5.99

Damn, I'm cute for a bandage! Our stinkin' cute Gama-Go Rainbow Bandages make getting a boo-boo damn well delightful! They say that very cloud has a silver lining, but these adorably optimistic cumulus clouds offer so much more! These happy little...

Desktop Skee-Ball Game

$9.99

Let the good times roll! Our officially-licensed Desktop Skee-Ball Game kit includes everything you need to play your own version of desktop Skee-Ball! A beacon of childhood memories and general nostalgia Skee-Ball is one of the most recognized and...

Donut Touch My Lunch Bag

$18.99 $16.71

As sweet as it gets! There's no need to sugar coat it, our Frosted Donut Lunch Tote is as sweet as it gets! The "holey" grail of lunch pails, this pink glazed beauty with colorful sprinkles will leave the cool kids begging for you to sit at their table...

Cone Of Shame Bandages

$5.99

Doggone-it!  Did you see that wall jump out at me? Are you having one of those terrier'ible days when mutt'n seems to be going your way? Our pitifully cute Cone of Shame Doggy Bandages are an excellent remedy for when you're having a ruff...

UFO Cow Abduction

$12.99

Beam Up Your Bovine - With Light and Sound! Our udderly fantastic UFO Cow Abduction Kit is an out-of-this-world gift for sci-fi lovers! Loaded with lights and special effects Steven Spielberg would be proud of! It features:  A mini spaceship,...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

Rocket Science for Babies

$9.99

Launch your future Rocket Scientist! Written by an expert, Rocket Science for Babies is a colorfully simple introduction to aerospace engineering. Babies (and grownups!) will learn about the basics of how lift and thrust make things fly. With a...

CBD Gummy Apple Rings

$24.99

An apple a day keeps the stress away! *If that apple is a CBD edible that is!* Don’t be fooled by their innocent appearance! Our potent CBD Gummy Apple Rings may ring of nostalgia, but these candies contain approximately 25mg of CBD per...

CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis

$24.99

CBD edibles have arrived! Good luck trying to wipe that smile off your face! Too peopley outside? No problem! Reach for your jar of CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis and your social anxiety will run for the hills, instead of you! These smiley face...

Dark Side Of The Moon Rainbow Prism

$5.99

Cool gift for a nerd! Is that a rainbow in your pocket or are you just part magical unicorn? Behold, our mysterious Dark Side Of The Moon Rainbow Prism.  It will lead you down the rabbit hole of fascination by using the science of optics to create...

It's Only Frickin' Tuesday Candle

$19.99

Wake me up on Thursday, I'm already four coffees into a yawn. How is it only TUESDAY? Our serenity now It's Only Frickin' Tuesday Candle is a simple reminder that it seems like it's been a full year since the work week started. I swear I can feel each...

The Golden Girls Magnet Set

$9.99

Dorothy! Put your favorite Golden Girls foursome on your fridge, office or any magnetic surface!  This magnet set will take you back as you recreate moments of the Golden Girls and their irreverent stories in their Miami home. The magnet set...

CBD Gummy Bears

$24.99

Oh, I'm a CBD Gummy Bear.... a CBD Gummy Bear.  I'm a yummy, edible, social anxiety reducing gummy bear! What a long strange trip it's been getting CBD Gummy Bears to the market, but we're so Grateful they've finally made it! Now that they're...

P Is for Pterodactyl - The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

$17.99

Seriously... this is terrible! Turning the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, P is for Pterodactyl is perfect for anyone who has ever been stumped by silent letters or confused by absurd homophones. This whimsical, unique book takes...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and running late. And, we love pickles. Maybe you simply feel...

Buster's Poop Spare Key Hiding Spot

$8.99

Shit... this is a good idea! Na-na na-na boo-boo... you're willingly sticking your hand in this doo doo! It's groundbreaking...   The latest in Home Security technology...   It's doogy dookie!   What better place to hide the spare key...

Car Full of Cats Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Our meow-nificently fun Car Full of Cats Auto Sunshade will instantly convert any vehicle into a catmobile! Fur-real! No kitten! We knead not to mention, but, it's quickly clawing to the top the top of every cat lover's list!  After, all if could...

Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt

$12.99

Drop it like it's hot. Get ready to cook up some fun with our Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt! Whether you're a Pinterest Mistress or a natural born chef, you'll instantly become smitten with this mitten as it makes presenting your latest...

Pizza Scented Candle

$11.99

The smell of baking dough, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni is such a mouthwatering smell!    Let our Stinky Pizza Candle take you back to your teenage days when pizza was a major food group!   Your place will smell like Papa Dominos is in...

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Baked with love weed You know who our The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt is perfect for... yep, grandma. With prescription prices criminally high, do you really think she's not baking in a little something something?! Make edibles or get out of the...

ABCs of Engineering

$9.99

The basics for your little engineer! The ABCs of Engineering Book is an alphabetical installment of the Baby University series and is the perfect introduction for even the youngest engineer! A is for Amplifier B is for Battery C is for Carnot...

Thank You For Being A Friend Bracelet

$1.99

Third grade flashbacks! Our bright and colorful Thank You For Being A Friend Bracelet will bring you back to knotty times on the bus with a safety pin attached to your jeans, and a fist full of colorful sewing floss. A timeless symbol of friendship,...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lamp

$79.99

Just 150,000 Calories! There are just few things in life that are as enjoyable as an ice cream cone!  What better way can you think of to brighten up the mood in your home or office than with a Giant Ice Cream Cone lamp!  Marvel your guests as...

Cat Astronaut Air Freshener

$4.99

Also good in spaceships! Space, the final cat door. Our Cat Astronaut Air Freshener features the voyages of the starship Litterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new boxes. To swat at new bugs and new laser pointers. To boldly go where no...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs to use Cat Astronaut Mints before and during all of...

I'm a Delicate F*cking Flower Socks

$10.99

Consider This A Warning Socks Gently nestled among a garden of blooms, the well-rooted message of our profanely dainty I'm A Delicate Fucking Flower Women's Crew Socks will allow you to manure through and flourish in any prickly situation. The cool thing...

Human Powered Light Bulb

$3.99

Why are you so touchy? Are you looking to burn off some energy and have some geeky science fun?  Then it's time to throw on your favorite pair of socks and start dragging your feet around the nearest carpeted floor like you did when you were a kid!...

T.V. Rock

$5.99

Tune in to the Ulexite! Plop our awesome TV Rock on any printed surface and it demonstrates a cool fiber-optic effect - it projects images to the surface of this naturally occurring mineral.   This unusual effect is the result of your rock's...

Retro Radio Headphone + Change Purse

$12.99

Mid Century Modern Style Do you miss the great lines of products from the past?  Us too!  It may look like a vintage radio right out of the 60's... but that's just an illusion!  Stuff your headphones, subway tokens, earplugs, or asprin...

Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade

$17.99

We're totally nutty about our Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade! This collapsible indoor windshield cover will not only protect and cool your car while blocking UV rays, it will also make it appear like it’s full of a squad of sassy squirrels...

Here Comes Cool Dad Men's Socks

$12.99

You're the cool dad! Our Blue Q Here Comes Cool Dad Men's Socks are for the guy who's 2 Legit, 2 Legit to Quit, his job because he's got bills to pay, mouths to feed, and a roof to put over those little son-of-a-guns heads! (but is not interested in...

Tentacle Pen

$7.99

Release your inner Kraken!   Whether you live in a pineapple under the sea or just really enjoy squid sushi, our Tentacle Pen is just what has been missing from your life.   Realistically modeled off of a certain Cephalopod's most recognizable...

Leaf Pocket Cup

$5.99

Leaf me alone while I have a sip! Our cleverly shaped Leaf Pocket Cup, will quickly become your new favorite piece of equipment for travel and camping!  You'll be afraid to leaf it behind! Speaking of afraid, you can practice catching rain water...

My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks

$10.99

Purrfect for pouncing around town or lounging in your fav sunspot Our My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks playfully points out the obvious about your BFF - Best Furry Friend.  Fur real, we'd much paw-fur spending time with our cat over suf-fur-ing through...

I Don't Like Anyone In The Morning Dish Towel

$10.99

Our proud and cocky I Don't Like Anyone In The Morning Dish Towel is totally relatable. Especially if you act like a giant cock in the morning. You're not the only one! Just look at the size of this rooster! This early-to-rise loud mouth is waking the...

Best Buds Mint Gum

$1.99

Guaranteed Good Shit To Share With A Cannabis Loving Buddy The rumors are true... our gum has gone to pot! Our Best Buds Gum has been made with a very special, mind-altering ingredient. It's called LOVE. Looking for CBD Infused Edibles and...

Toadstool Mushroom Mortar + Pestle

$22.99

Holy shitake! Could our Toadstool Mushroom Mortar + Pestle be any cuter? For the lover of all things woodland, this whimsically designed mortar and pestle will cheerfully aid in the grinding and crushing of herbs, grains, spices and garlic and will...

Bravery Bandages

$5.49

Our hilarious, yet distinguished, Bravery Bandages celebrate the nearly forgotten art of resiliency! Everyone recognizes bravery when it’s risking your life to save someone or facing impossible odds, but some bravery is on a much smaller scale...

Bitch I Am The Secret Ingredient Oven Mitt

$12.99

It sure as hell ain't saffron or paprika, honey. Our Bitch I Am The Secret Ingredient Oven Mitt is anything but sugar and spice and everything nice. If you're looking for the secret ingredient to gift giving, it's about having a damn sense of humor,...

Pickle Bandages

$5.49

Never underestimate the protective power of pickles! This pickle bandage prevents pickle brine from stinging your cuts, scrapes or other minor boo-boos! And if a Pickle Bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! 15 ...

Kawaii Friendly Weather Air Freshener

$3.99

Rain or shine! Our Kawaii Friendly Weather Air Freshener is perfect for any day! Kawaii represents a culture of kindness and what would be kinder than opposing views like the weather all getting along? Helps make your commute cutier Freshen up...

Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box

$4.99

Candy bento box! It's soy cute! Our Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box comes with 9 pieces of candy modeled after sushi rolls and garnishings, arranged in a plastic bento box style tray! 2 Candy Nigiri (marshmallow topped with a gummy fish) 2...

Giant Music Snob Men's Socks

$12.99

Our Giant Music Snob Men's Socks seem to scream "If it's on the charts, I'm not interested. Unless it's Beyonce. That woman is ON FIRE." We love music! We love listening to music, we love talking about music, we love experiencing live music, and while we...

Booger Lollipop

$2.99

You Can Pick Your Candy And Eat It Too We had to dig deep in the recesses of our brain for this one... but we just nose we picked the perfect gift for your sugar booger this Valentine's Day! Our sour-apple flavored Booger Lollipop is a deliciously fun...

Get Along With Your Co-Workers Gum

$1.99

Your Job Doesn't Suck, Just Your Co-Workers The reality in the majority of people's lives is that they have to get a job to survive. Unfortunately you get stuck working alongside people you might not otherwise frequent in the free world! To make your...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

The Joy of Bathing with Bob Ross Soap

$3.49

Bob Ross Wet-on-Wet Technique Reach for The Joy of Bathing with Bob Ross Soap whenever you’re feeling a little Prussian Blue!   Make some happy little clouds of foam! This vegetable soap is made with glycerin, shea butter, and cocoa...

I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

Affectionate Octopus Ring

$4.99

Let's get kraken! We're not squidding, our Affectionate Octopus Ring was love at first squeeze. We promise, it totally does not suck!   Now tentacley, there are only 3 arms wrapped around your finger, but we know a sea monster when we sea one!...

Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a yummy retro treat! Since the early NASA Mercury Missions, space food has gone global! Today, Astronaut...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum Sometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum on you at all times!  You never know when a...

B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt

$12.99

B*tch is the new black Our B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the non-conforming, sometimes foul-mouthed, matriarch. We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that,...

Cat Butt Coin Purse

$4.99

Our high quality Cat Butt Coin Purse is the kitty for your cash!   This adorable zippered coin purse features a silly snickering kitty on the front and a useful field guide on the backside!   Just in case you have a chance meeting with a feline...

Boom Box Beverage Cooler

$19.99

Boom Boom Box! An old skool blast(er) from the past, our Totally 80's BoomBox Beverage Cooler is a throwback to the day of mixtapes, breakdancing, and songs of summer! And we couldn't be more amped about it! A good boombox and mixtape used to be all it...

Your Team Sucks Men's Socks

$12.99

 In your face! We can't all be billionaires to deal with a 2% wealth tax AND having enough money to buy the perfect socks for every game we watch! One size fits all sports! Football, hockey, baseball, curling... Great colors to match any jersey you...

Bacon Bandages

$5.49

Making Bacon Boo Boos! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of our Bacon Bandages. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Includes a small toy to help make even the...

Head In The Stars Hair Pins

$9.99

Is your head in the stars? It's time to get the party star-ted with our Head in the Stars Hair Pins! Whether you're preparing for a night out on the town or an evening under the stars, with a simple twist these spiral hair pins will be a stellar addition...

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