Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

Magical Color Changing Unicorn Night Light

$15.99

Sweet Dreams Whoever said you're too old for a nightlight, clearly has not met our Magical Color Changing Unicorn Night Light, and must enjoy stepping on unsuspecting legos. Imagine how much sweeter your bedtime will be with a dreamy unicorn nightlight...

Trump #45 Keychain + Door Hanger for 2020

$14.99

Does Trump already have the keys for 2020? President Trump will win 2020 in a landslide! Get a commemorative piece of history with our Trump's 2020 Keys to The White House Key Chain. Handmade in the USA! 3 layers of durable acrylic, with laser...

Mix Stix Drumstick Kitchen Spoons

$12.99

Get with the beat!  Every kitchen has it's own rhythm and hum, and now you can play along. Mix Stix Drumstick Kitchen Spoons are classic indispensable beechwood spoons, morphed into drumsticks. So now you can rock out when you're not stirring,...

My Gift To You Cat Butt Mug

$11.99

Bottom's up! It's time to get cat-ffeinated with our My Gift To You Cat Butt Mug! It's the purrfect way to serve up a little hair of the cat. You have opinions, but sometimes you can't say them out loud. Butt.. our cheeky little kitty mug will be...

Poppin' Hot Oven Mitt

$17.99

Pop Something Into The Oven! Our Poppin' Hot Oven Mitt brings new meaning to popping something into the oven for dinner! This outstanding piece of artistry is an homage to one of mankind's greatest achievements - no, not electricity or sliced bread.....

Savory Sushi Note Pals Sticky Tabs

$3.49

Our Savory Sushi Note Pals Sticky Tabs are here to save the day, and your books! Rumor has it, you like to occasionally dog ear books, or use old receipts as place holders... is that really how you roll? If you're going to keep tabs on things, you might...

Flipside Reversible Dishwasher Sign

$6.99

Sorry We're Dirty / Come In We're Clean Magnets... how do they work?  They're magic!  What we do know is that they keep our super retro styled FlipSide Reversible Dishwasher Sign attached to your dishwasher so you know if what's inside is clean...

Duck Duck Drink Tea Infuser

$14.99

It’s tea time, so bottom’s up! Our Duck Duck Drink Tea Infuser is a charming tea infuser that floats in your cup — bobbing and brewing loose tea leaves to perfection. When you're stressed out and feel like telling the world to go...

LED Light Up Bobo Balloon

$5.99

As seen on Rachel Ray with Katie Linendoll!  Be the light and the life of the party with Bobo Balloons!  The reflection of the lights against the shiny PVC balloon give the illusion of hundreds of lights! Each Balloon can reach 15 inches in...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

I've Got A Knife Oven Mitt

$12.99

A cautionary kitchen accessory for those moments when there are too many cooks in the kitchen... our dead serious I've Got a Knife Oven Mitt has got your back! On the outside, you'll enjoy a pleasant pink panoramic scene with a vintage-inspired...

Nose Aerobics Basketball

$3.99

Anyone up for a game of faceball? The nose is the most neglected muscle in your body.   That's why our Nose Aerobics Basketball is the next big thing.   It's exercise for your nose!   Dramatically increase your sense of smell* while...

Happy Camper Pencil Holder

$12.99

Kitschy camper for your crayons!  Simply assemble and you're ready to park our retro-styled Happy Camper Pencil Holder on your desk.  Toss in your pens and pencils, kick back and relax! Then you can start planning your next grand adventure (or...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and running late. And, we love pickles. Maybe you simply feel...

Mini Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy

$12.99

Look at me! I'm the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man! Behold - the very first of its kind, our Mini Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy! He's the perfect desktop companion, road trip buddy, or hilarious gift! He's a man that goes by many names...

Hormel Chili Can Safe

$12.49

Beans are good at keeping people away! With our Hormel Chili Can Safe, your secret is safe with us! Most people keep a safe distance from beans, so you might as well take advantage of this fact, and exploit their gastric-intolerance by hiding your...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

Jane Austen's Finest Balm

$4.99

Have you ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season? One must try Jane Austen's Finest Balm! For it will apply a whimsical humor to your dry, chapped talkers, and cause your moisturized mouth to curl into a slight grin. Do you feel more than you...

Space Invaders Tiny Arcade

$22.99

The 80’s are back! Space Invaders are here and they’re smaller than ever! Use the tiny buttons on our Space Invaders Tiny Arcade to fire at swarms of extraterrestrials to prevent the alien invasion and defend the planet! One of the most...

The Original Wiz-z-zer

$7.99

Go on, take it for a spin The Original Wiz-z-zer is back and it's ready to shred the competition! Step aside Beyblades there's a new sheriff in town!  You can't expect your mom to hold on to you all of your old toys! So, if you've been looking...

Heat Sensitive Thermochromic Glux Putty

$6.99

You'll enjoy watching our temperamental Thermochromic Glux Putty morph between a spectrum of warm orange to bright yellow depending on it's fluctuating temperature! That's right! This moody putty deceptively appears to consist entirely of a solid orange...

Best Buds Mint Gum

$1.99

Guaranteed Good Shit To Share With A Cannabis Loving Buddy The rumors are true... our gum has gone to pot! Our Best Buds Gum has been made with a very special, mind-altering ingredient. It's called LOVE. Looking for CBD Infused Edibles and...

Desktop Croquet Game Set

$8.99

Our Desktop Croquet Game Set is... So, Very. Hooray Croquet!  The classic lawn game played by royals, celebrities, and Heathers is now desktop-friendly! Jealous much? What's your damage? No reason to get all bent out of shape! This...

Jesus Bandages

$5.49

Jesus Will Heal You and Your Boo Boo! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of Jesus bandages. And if a Jesus bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY included in the tin! The Jesus Bandage...

Bravery Bandages

$5.49

Our hilarious, yet distinguished, Bravery Bandages celebrate the nearly forgotten art of resiliency! Everyone recognizes bravery when it’s risking your life to save someone or facing impossible odds, but some bravery is on a much smaller scale...

CBD Gummy Apple Rings

$24.99

An apple a day keeps the stress away! *If that apple is a CBD edible that is!* Don’t be fooled by their innocent appearance! Our potent CBD Gummy Apple Rings may ring of nostalgia, but these candies contain approximately 25mg of CBD per...

Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt

$12.99

Drop it like it's hot. Get ready to cook up some fun with our Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt! Whether you're a Pinterest Mistress or a natural born chef, you'll instantly become smitten with this mitten as it makes presenting your latest...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

Dancing with Jesus Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book

$10.99

Lord Almighty! Jesus sure has some righteous moves! Our Dancing with Jesus: Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book is truly a God send! Are your dance moves unrighteous?  Do you refrain from getting down, lest others judge you cruelly?  Fear not...

Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box

$4.99

Candy bento box! It's soy cute! Our Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box comes with 9 pieces of candy modeled after sushi rolls and garnishings, arranged in a plastic bento box style tray! 2 Candy Nigiri (marshmallow topped with a gummy fish) 2...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

I Almost Died But It Was Just A Cold Men's Socks

$12.99

Thank you for your concern! It was touch and go for awhile... I Almost Died But It Was Just A Cold.   We're not saying men can't handle being sick... but these socks sure are! Call a waaa-mbulance my honey's nose is running! Is this...

I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum

$1.99

Uh, oh! They've found us out! Our I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum is dropping truth bombs by way of delicious chicklet-sized mint gum! A fun item to have for those moments when you don't have time for humility. If they didn't get the message at...

Flash + Fly Helicopter

$2.99

A great toys for kids and husbands! Because there is nothing more entertaining than shooting flashing things into the air and watching them come back down. Seriously. What could be better? Turn on our Fly and Flash Helicopter and sling shot it into the...

Mini Genuine Harmonica Necklace

$12.99

Take a harmonica wherever you go! Whether you have the blues or are filled with jubilee, our unique Mini Genuine Harmonica Necklace (that actually plays!) will be able to lift your spirits and banish your woes! What better present to yourself than a...

Huggy Tiny Tree Frog Ear Cuff

$4.99

Your good luck charm! They say that when a lucky frog comes into your life that it's a sign of transformation and it may well spark many wonderful changes! Well that's just a little bit more than a tad exciting!  Our single Tiny Hugging Tree Frog...

Official World's Smallest School Bus

$7.99

The wheels on the bus go round and round.... OMG. We can hardly stand it! Talk about a trip down memory lane! The World's Smallest Fisher Price Little People School Bus is just like the one you'll remember from your childhood. It features the iconic...

John Lennon's Imagine Crank Music Box

$8.99

Crank up that song! You may say I'm a dreamer, but we know that our delightfully peaceful Imagine Crank Music Box is a gift that will truly resonate with the receiver... and the surface that it's placed on! This music box is tiny in size, but the sound...

You Octopi My Thoughts Necklace

$9.99

Get kraken! Are you a sucker for anything octopus related?  Is there a special someone in your life who has their tentacles wrapped around your every thought?  Good news... our totally adorabilis You Octopi My Thoughts Necklace has...

Lit! Doobie Birthday Candles

$6.99

Can weed be blunt about your birthday candles? Blowing out the candles will never be a drag again! Time to roll out another birthday? Celebrate in style with our Lit Doobie Birthday Candles!  Hey, it's your birthday and it's time to get lit! Light...

Pizza Scented Candle

$11.99

The smell of baking dough, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni is such a mouthwatering smell!    Let our Stinky Pizza Candle take you back to your teenage days when pizza was a major food group!   Your place will smell like Papa Dominos is in...

Rainbow Bandages

$5.99

Damn, I'm cute for a bandage! Our stinkin' cute Gama-Go Rainbow Bandages make getting a boo-boo damn well delightful! They say that very cloud has a silver lining, but these adorably optimistic cumulus clouds offer so much more! These happy little clouds...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

Official World's Smallest Lite-Brite

$7.99

Honey, I Shrunk the Lite-Brite! Our Hasbro licensed, World's Smallest Lite-Brite is just like the one you had in the 70's and 80's - just a lot smaller! And YES! It actually works! You will love create tiny pictures on the smallest Lite Brite you have...

Dill Pickles Candle

$11.99

  This candle smells dill-icious! Expectant mothers rejoice! Our Dill Pickles Candle will help you manage those unique cravings, here it is. Pungent enough to satisfy all your gherkin desires. Expectant fathers: On those wintery days you don't...

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Sticky Notes

$6.99

​Hi, Neighbor! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood ever since our awesomely nostalgic Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Sticky Notes arrived!  Let them serve as a polite reminder to feed the fish, visit the Neighborhood of Make-Believe or change into...

Disappointed Sigh Sound Machine

$9.99

Automated dismay Our meh Disappointed Sigh Sound Machine makes sure that no annoyance goes unacknowledged ever again. Four sighs include a male, female, shocked and end of the world. With our press-of-the-button automated dismay, you can express your...

Official World's Smallest Fisher-Price Chatter Phone

$7.99

It's your childhood calling! Nostalgia alert! Our World's Smallest Fisher Price Chatter Phone is a pocket-sized version of your favorite childhood toy! It has with the same friendly face as the 1960’s original, and a ringing spin-dial! Your...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Desktop Skee-Ball Game

$9.99

Let the good times roll! Our officially-licensed Desktop Skee-Ball Game kit includes everything you need to play your own version of desktop Skee-Ball! A beacon of childhood memories and general nostalgia Skee-Ball is one of the most recognized and...

Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

You're filthy, wipe your mouth! It's time to put your money where your mouth is with our Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins! Refine your cocktail party experience with these high-quality, highfalutin napkins will keep you looking like a million bucks, even...

I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

Mister Rogers' Encouragements

$3.49

Won't you, please?  Please, won't you, please?  Please, have one or two Mister Rogers' Encouragemints!! Whether you're changing into your suit or your cardigan - whether you're coming home or going out into the neighborhood, you'll have more...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Official World's Smallest Perplexus

$9.99

Easy to Play... Hard to Master! We can describe the World's Smallest Perplexus in one word. A-maze-ing. *badum tssh* Perplexus Original now comes in a miniature pocket-sized edition so you can keep playing on the go! This 3D maze has always been a fun...

Owl Bandages

$5.99

Owl-ch, that hurts!!! Who, Who, Whoooos got an ouchie?   Take a word from a sage little bird and cover up those boo boos with Owl Bandages.  These adhesive bandages shaped like darling little owls are the wise way to cover up boo boos!...

Freud's Oral Fixation Lip Balm

$4.99

Better than all mother brands! So you have chapped lips. Stop blaming your mother. Our Freud's Oral Fixation Lip Balm is the lip balm you desire. (That sounded more profound in the original German.) Begins cooling and soothing your lips in the time...

My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks

$10.99

Purrfect for pouncing around town or lounging in your fav sunspot Our My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks playfully points out the obvious about your BFF - Best Furry Friend.  Fur real, we'd much paw-fur spending time with our cat over suf-fur-ing through...

Sh*tting Rainbows Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Holy crapola!  Today is THE BEST!  Our Shitting Rainbows Kind of Day Socks is just the pair to pull out of your sock drawer when you're so freakin happy that you could shit rainbows!   Maybe you woke up thinking it was Friday but it's...

Pretty Please With A Cherry On Top Hairpins

$9.99

Sweet classic retro What is the sweetest way to top off any outfit?  Our Pretty Please With A Cherry On Top Hairpins of course! Not just for sundaes anymore, you can wear this charming hairpin, guilt-free, any day of the week...! Cherry picking...

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