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Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

Just Hanging Around Sloth Lip Gloss

$4.99

Enjoy letting the day s'lip away Our Just Hanging Around Sloth Lip Gloss is vanilla flavored, and is just as sweet as can be! With his sunny disposition this smiling little fella is just who you want hanging around, so you can keep your lips moisturized...

Kawaii Bear Toy Sprinkler

$24.99

Time to run bearfoot through the sprinkler! Our Inflatable Teddy Bear Sprinkler is so excited to be here, he's literally blushing and gushing rainbows!  He's so fun we can bearly stand it! But, thankfully he helps us tolerate the grizzly...

Kid Shaming Little Jerk Balloons

$7.99

I still don't have an inside voice! Parents know that sometimes, very occasionally, even the most adorable and angelic child can be a bit of a jerk. Little Jerk Balloons are for those moments. The kids don't know what the balloons say now... but just...

Kid's Rainbow Ice Cream Tumbler

$9.99

Double (insulated) rainbow! As the weather heats up prepare to cool down in style with our Kid's Rainbow Ice Cream Tumbler. Get sippy with it and drink in colorful style!  Shaped to resemble a scrumptious ice cream cone, this rainbow colored...

Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask

$12.99

Wine, beer, liquor, booze... Shirley Temple? No matter your drink of choice, we've got you covered - your face that is - with our handmade Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask! Handsomely decorated with a swanky array of retro decanters and etched...

Kitten Bandages

$5.99

Got another scratch?   You've gotta be kitten me!    Cover up cuts, scratches, and scrapes with our adorably irresistible Kitten Bandages!  Now you can avoid cat scratch fever with a little help from a furr-iendly little...

Kraken Tentacle Pen

$7.99

Release your inner kraken! Whether you live in a pineapple under the sea, a hockey fan, or just really enjoy squid sushi, our Kraken Tentacle Pen is just what has been missing from your life.   Realistically modeled off of a certain Cephalopod's...

LED Light Up Bobo Balloon

$5.99

As seen on Rachel Ray with Katie Linendoll!  Be the light and the life of the party with Bobo Balloons!  The reflection of the lights against the shiny PVC balloon give the illusion of hundreds of lights! Each Balloon can reach 15 inches...

Leopard Print Shoelaces

$7.99

Let's hit the thrift stores! These hot Leopard Print Shoelaces are made from fabric featuring classic leopard print pattern. Great retro feel, perfect for anyone who loves vintage and retro clothing. Why wear plain shoelaces when you express...

Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card

$4.99

Weed, cheese and wine... oh my! Our celebratory Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card is the perfect birthday card for a close puff-pass friend! Let's get stoned! I mean... let's a nice bottle of wine and some fancy cheese! Honestly, I'm...

Lil' Lager Baby Bottle

$12.99

Do you have a milk chugger? Double-takes are guaranteed when your kid starts knocking back their favorite beverage with our hilarious Chill, Baby Lil' Lager Baby Bottle.    No it's not beer, it's just good old smooth and creamy baby formula...

Lil' Rainbow Glitter Kiddie Pool Float

$14.99

What could be better than our Happy Lil' Rainbow Kiddie Pool Float for your little pot of gold! You're going to have an unforgettable summer with your kiddos! This Happy Rainbow Lil’ Float is dual-chambered for stability, featuring a secure &...

Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card

$4.99

If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one. Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not...

Magic Growing Unicorn

$4.99

More exciting than a Hatchimal! Our Magic Growing Unicorn allows you to hatch your very own unicorn and watch it grow! Stumped on what to get your favorite unicorn lover? This legendary gift is where it's at. Simply: Put the tree stump in a...

Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Nail Clipper Pen

$5.99

Best office gift ever! Our Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Pen is guaranteed to gross out people around you! Not only can you write with the fully functional pen but you can turn it around and clip or file those unsightly finger or toe nails. What...

May These Crystals Heal The Sh*t Out Of You Greeting Card

$4.99

Holy shit, I can feel it! Send our May These Crystals Heal The Shit Out Of You Greeting Card to any friend who isn't feeling well or needs some positive energy! It's a great card to lift spirits! Harness the power of the crystals that are pictured on...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Mini Zoltar - He Speaks!

$12.99

Zoltar "Make Your Wish" Our Mini Zoltar - He Speaks! is inspired by the all-knowing animatronic fortune teller, who made it to the Big screen with Tom Hanks in the late 80's! Authentic retro-styled Zoltar machine Crystal ball gives off a blue...

Mocha Almond Lip Shit Lip Balm

$6.99

Cruelty Free Lip Balm Our Mocha Almond Lip Shit really gets you going! This fantastic lip balm moisturizes and protects your lips every time you put it on. It is made from a beeswax formula and is extremely smooth and easy-to-apply! All natural Fun...

Narwhal Bandages

$5.99

Turn those whines into whoahs! Don't worry about that scrape, our Narwhal Bandages will cover it in super cute style right away! Turn those whines into whoahs! Who doesn't love narwhals? That's right, just let the unicorn of the seas magical power take...

No Regrets Bandages

$5.99

I regret nothing... except that chili dog for dinner! You won't have any regrets about getting hurt after you paste on one of these No Regrets Bandages. The people that live life with no regrets could probably use a few dozen boxes of bandages, wouldn't...

No Regrets Vintage Motel Key Ring

$4.49

Our cheeky No Regrets Vintage Motel Key Ring harkens back to the days before electronic locks on motel doors.  Let this nostalgic relic from the “No Regrets Motor Lodge” Room 701 adorn your set of keys as you hit the open road. This...

Nose Aerobics Basketball

$4.99

Anyone up for a game of faceball? The nose is the most neglected muscle in your body.   That's why our Nose Aerobics Basketball is the next big thing.   It's exercise for your nose!   Dramatically increase your sense of smell* while...

Official World's Smallest Barrel of Monkeys

$5.99

Don't drop your monkeys!!! The classic game Barrel of Monkeys first released in 1965 is now available in the world’s smallest size ever! Just like the original Barrel of Monkeys game, our World’s Smallest Barrel of Monkeys is a barrel of...

Official World's Smallest Care Bear

$6.99

Classic fun with a retro gift! Our bright World's Smallest Care Bears are your favorite group of colorful and caring bears that just got a lot smaller! Spread some love or beat the bluest of blues with Cheer Bear, Funshine Bear, Share Bear and Grumpy...

Official World's Smallest Etch-A-Sketch

$6.99

The World's Favorite Drawing Toy What do you get the person that has everything? Simple.... The World's Smallest Etch-a-Sketch. This classic toy has been bringing joy and amusement to countless people for as long as 50 years- and now that it's pocket...

Official World's Smallest Fisher-Price Chatter Phone

$7.99

It's your childhood calling! Nostalgia alert! Our World's Smallest Fisher Price Chatter Phone is a pocket-sized version of your favorite childhood toy! It has with the same friendly face as the 1960’s original! Your favorite classic pull toy is...

Official World's Smallest Fisher-Price Corn Popper

$6.99

Pop Pop and You Don't Stop Our World's Smallest Fisher-Price Corn Popper is a mini version of the original toy from your childhood and is about to push and pop it's way back into your heart. It's so cute, we almost can't handle it! It's like a rush of...

Official World's Smallest Lite-Brite

$7.99

Honey, I Shrunk the Lite-Brite! Our Hasbro licensed, World's Smallest Lite-Brite is just like the one you had in the 70's and 80's - just a lot smaller! And YES! It actually works! You will love create tiny pictures on the smallest Lite Brite you have...

Official World's Smallest Rock-A-Stack

$6.99

Just like before... only smaller! Now kids of all ages can take a trip back in time with this miniature, World's Smallest Fisher-Price Rock-A-Stack and enjoy an iconic classic. Just like the original toy, there are five colorful, stackable rings and a...

Official World's Smallest School Bus

$7.99

The wheels on the bus go round and round.... OMG. We can hardly stand it! Talk about a trip down memory lane! The World's Smallest Fisher Price Little People School Bus is just like the one you'll remember from your childhood. It features the iconic...

Official World's Smallest Super Soaker

$6.99

Squirts up to 25 feet! Yes, the World's Smallest Super Soaker actually works! Not even 4 inches long, it holds enough water to shoot off a dozen shots with distances up to 25 feet away! Great for the office, car or even as a sidearm in a water gun fight...

Official World's Smallest Tinkertoy

$7.99

A fun toy to tinker around with! Our World's Smallest Tinkertoy, is a licensed miniature version of the original Tinkertoy that has been fostering active imaginations for nearly a century! A fun retro gift that clearly demonstrates to kids that...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

Preppy In Pink Madras Plaid Face Mask

$12.99

Don't get Lacoste'd by stepping out without a mask on! Dodge social criticism and add some 80’s prep to your step with our Preppy in Pink Madras Plaid Mask! In a time before Crocs, it was all about the Docks. Docksiders (aka deck shoes that is)...

President Of Local Gas Company Men's Socks

$12.99

It's hard to believe it all started in the mailroom. Some guys just have that special "something" that makes them a good fit for our President of the Local Gas Company Men's Crew Socks. Maybe it's the meal planning? Maybe it's the finger pulling? Some...

Purrfect Nails Cat Belly Nail File

$6.99

Hello purr-fect nails! Give your feline friend a good scratch while taking care of your lady claws with our Purrfect Nails Cat Belly Nail File! In the natural setting of your family room, house panthers are known to trick you into thinking they want a...

Rainbow Bandages

$5.99

Damn, I'm cute for a bandage! Our stinkin' cute Gama-Go Rainbow Bandages make getting a boo-boo damn well delightful! They say that very cloud has a silver lining, but these adorably optimistic cumulus clouds offer so much more! These happy little...

Rainbow Glitter Party Cake Scented Sunscreen

$19.99

You glow, girl! You’ll be eco-friendly, gorgeous, well protected and sparkling with our Rainbow Glitter Sunscreen!   This super fun bio-degradable glitter sunscreen is nourishing and loaded with antioxidants, provides broad spectrum...

Record Player Headphone + Change Purse

$12.99

Nothing better than memories of vinyl! It may look like it belongs at a sock hop spinning Elvis or the Four Tops... but that's just an illusion! Stuff your headphones, subway tokens, loose change, or 45 RPM record adaptors in this fun case and toss it...

Retro Classic Mattel Football Keychain

$11.99

A mini version of the original, our Retro Mattel Electronics Football Handheld Game Keychain will help you maneuver out of the neutral zone, and into touchdown territory in the game of gift giving! Before game consoles, mobile gaming, and online games -...

Retro Fun Portable Beach + Pool Speaker

$49.99

Perfect for the beach or poolside! Listen to you music anywhere with our cute retro feeling portable speaker with Bluetooth and even an AM/FM radio! Sand and water resistant Measure 7 inches wide x 8 inches tall x 3 inches deep. Requires 4 AA...

Rockstar Guitar Case Lunch Box

$19.99

Carry sandwiches like a rock-n-roll star. Cool kids bring their own lunch. The coolest kids conceal their lunch in a guitar case. Prove your rock-star credentials, decorate with your favorite band stickers. Or prove you're eating 5-a-day and decorate...

Self Help Book Flask

$19.99

Improving yourself one sip at a time! Have you already tried a dozen self help books? Did your healing crystals fail this time?  Stash your favorite nip in our Self Help Book for whenever you might need some guidance. Fill the flask with your...

Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings

$9.99

You're a shining star! When you're rocking our Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings, you're guaranteed to steal the show! The spotlight will always be on you(r ears!) While testing these products out we were totally impressed by how...

Shut The Front Door Greeting Card

$4.99

You thought I was going to say shut the f*ck up! Shout your excitement at someone with a totally sassy and fowl language innuendo. Made in the USA Measures 4.5 X 6 inches Kraft envelope Blank inside Our Shut The Front Door Greeting Card...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Soft Touch Bondi Face Mask

$12.99

A bold and beautiful mask to wear! Our sharp Black and White Bondi Pleated Face Mask is a comfortable and lightweight travel mask and is your newest necessary accessory! This super cute and comfortable mask will fit any size and has breathable...

Soft Touch Camo Face Mask

$9.99

Comfort in camo! Our Soft Touch Camo Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch cotton/spandex mix which...

Soft Touch Leopard Print Face Mask

$9.99

Leopard print goes with everything! Our Soft Touch Leopard Print Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of...

Spam Retro Face Mask

$12.99

I'm on the can again... Put yourself out there in our Spam Retro Face Mask Face Mask - it's is a real attention grabber!   Made in the USA!  Swank gift for the tiki King (or Queen of the can) Handmade in the USA from 3 layers of...

Spit Shine Llama Duster Mitt

$14.99

A fun solution for your dusty daily dillamas Looking for a housewarming gift that's not llame? Our adorably clever Spit Shine Llama Duster Mitt is a wooly cool gift idea for those who like to clean or frankly don't give a spit what condition their house...

Strawberry Bandages

$5.99

In a jam? Straight from the strawberry fields and ready to patch up your boo boo.  Our berry sweet Strawberry Bandages are the cream of the crop! So you did something crazy, hurt yourself and now you're in a jam?  Plant one of these cuties on...

Strawberry CBD Lollipops

$14.99

You're so berry sweet! Our super yummy Strawberry CBD Lollipops are ready to melt your anxiety away. These suckers look, feel and taste just like a lollipop but they won't leave you feeling the same because these are made with the purest form of CBD, an...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$12.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious housewarming or hostess...

That Was Outstanding Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You did it! And well! REALLY well! How do you feel? Amazing? And... um... lighter? Nothing like a little self affirmation with our That Was Outstanding Lavatory Mist! Just two quick mists will cure the air of any poop foulness. Smells great Funny...

The Book Lover's Mug

$14.99

Have you read all these books yet? Why not curl up for a good read with The Book Lover's Mug. The mug has 30 unforgettable classic novels to choose from that will inspire the book lover in everybody. How many have you read? This mug is a fantastic gift...

The Cat's Meow Face Mask

$12.99

Cute as a kitten! Our purrectly adorable The Cat's Meow Face Mask is super cute for the cat lady in your life... maybe that's you! Handmade in the USA by a small business! 3 layers of fabric 100% Cotton Front - Black + white kitties with...

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Baked with love weed You know who our The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt is perfect for... yep, grandma. With prescription prices criminally high, do you really think she's not baking in a little something something?! Make edibles or get out of...

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