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Archie McPhee

Bigfoot Bandages

$5.49

Extra Big For The Extra Hairy! Bigfoot is always walking around those woods while he's barefoot.   So when he steps on a sharp stick or scrapes his foot, Mrs. Bigfoot likes to use our awesome...

Classic Disguise Glasses

$4.49

When you're on a top-secret mission, you need something that will help you blend in to the crowd, something that will make you unrecognizable... our Classic Disguise Glasses will do the trick!  ...

Close Talker Mints

$3.99

Six feet people! Are you or someone you know a close talker? Our Close Talker Mints by Archie Mphee address a problem that’s more important now than it has ever been.! Woah, back it up,...

Cone Kitty Air Freshener

$4.99 $4.39

It's for your own good, Whisker, I promise. This pathetically miserable kitty in a cone will make your commute more bearable. This poor suffering kitteh will fill your automobile with Pot-PURR-i...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or...

Disappointed Sigh Sound Machine

$10.99

Automated dismay Our meh Disappointed Sigh Sound Machine makes sure that no annoyance goes unacknowledged ever again. Four sighs include a male, female, shocked and end of the world. With our...

Fried Chicken Candy

$5.99

What the cluck?! Did you spend a few days of your life trying to get a new Popeye's Spicy Chicken sandwich?  We feel for ya! The most amazing thing about our Fried Chicken Candy is you can...

Generic Bandages

$5.99

This is a product headline These Generic Bandages are straight, simple and to the point. There are 15 sterile strips in each tin and each has the word BANDAGE displayed. This works out perfectly...

Hairless Hugo

$6.99

Shake this & he'll shed metal filings Poor bald kitty! Hairless Hugo is a hairless cat and now you can give him the fuzzy fur he so richly deserves. Just move the metal shavings around with the...

Handipanda

$6.99

Tired of your mediocre-looking hand? Why not make it a cute handa bear! Bamboo'zle your friends as our Handi Panda transforms even the roughest, most calloused hand into something that looks adorable...

Illuminati Air Freshener

$4.99

Come on. Really? Don't blame a conspiracy... it's your fault your car is so stinky! The Illuminati is the secret organization that is rumored to control the world. So it only makes sense that you'd...

Jesus Bandages

$5.49

Jesus Will Heal You and Your Boo Boo! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of Jesus bandages. And if a Jesus bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how...

Kale Candy

$5.99

Mmmm, Mmmmm... no! Just to be extremely clear, this candy does not taste good. It tastes like kale. Kale is gross. If gross is to kale; kale candy is to super gross. If you are weird and like kale,...

Ketchup Candy Canes

$6.49

Would you like a side of fries with that? The only candy cane to eat with french fries!  Do you know what makes mediocre food edible? Ketchup! So, just imagine how a ketchup-flavored candy cane...

Mac & Cheese Candy

$5.99

This is just so cheesy! When I make boxed mac & cheese, I always add a ton of extra butter and milk.  My boyfriend on the other hand thinks he does - but yeah no.  I like mine like a...

Mona Lisa Masterpiece Air Freshener

$4.99 $4.39

Do you smile to tempt a lover, Mona Lisa? Or is this your way to hide a broken heart? Spoiler Alert! SHE’S SMILING BECAUSE IT SMELLS GOOD! Turn your car into a smelly museum with an aromatic...

Narcissist Soap

$5.99

This soap is all about you... You have to have this Narcissist Soap because it is all about you. You are the cleanest person ever. Nobody is cleaner than you are. This is the soap for the person who...

Pickle Candy

$5.99

This candy is dill-icious! If you like pickles, you’ll love Pickle Candy! These green and white striped hard candies look like the spearmint candies grandma might keep in a crystal dish on the...

Rubber Chicken Air Freshener

$4.99

Highest rated air freshener by killer clowns! Your car has been smelling funny lately, but our Rubber Chicken Air Freshener by Archie McPhee will make it smell downright hilarious! Lucky for you...

Squirrel In Underpants Air Freshener

$4.99

It might seem weird at first, but if you think about it, squirrels in underpants were inevitable. Those little streakers have been running naked through trees for too long! This mildly insane air...

Tiny Hands Handages Bandages

$5.49 $4.83

Clumsy? Let's have a show of hands. Get your hands on our Tiny Hands Handages Bandages if you're an uncoordinated mess, and things tend to get out of hand quite easily. If you're like us, you've...

Vegetable Candy

$6.99

Bean thinking that I don't carrot all Our super corny Vegetable Candy is the perfect way to fool that nutrition loving nutcase into thinking that you're eating your greens. These candies come in a...

Bacon Candy Canes

$6.49

Mmm... bacon! When we told Santa Claus about our Bacon Candy Canes, he nearly fell out of his sleigh!  Then he let out a jolly guffaw and thanked us for saving Christmas.  He's just so...

Car Full Of Aliens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Make your car a UFO! Our Car Full of Aliens Auto Sunshade makes it look like you’re escaping from Area 51! Through the advanced, futuristic power of shade, this out of this world sunshade will...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he...

Instant Audience Sound Machine

$8.99

Enjoy having an audience in the palm of your hand with our pocket sized Instant Audience Sound Machine!   This handy little pocket sized device provides sound affect for instant reactions to...

Last Supper After Dinner Mints

$3.99

Are the flavors of your last supper lingering too long?   Our Last Supper After Dinner Mints are decorated with a painting of the Biblical Last Supper featuring Jesus and his Apostles. ...

Leech Bandages

$5.99

Dr. Leech will see you now! These Leech Bandages are awesome but there's probably a few people asking why put a leech on a bandage? Actual doctors are using leeches again. Isn’t it shocking...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the...

Lucky Mojo Ginger Candy

$6.99

Way luckier than circus peanuts or candy corn! Do you need of a bit of extra luck today? Before you tear about your yard looking for a four leaf clover, reach for our Lucky Mojo Ginger Candies!...

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

$6.49

We wish you a cheesy Christmas! Behold! A six-pack of candy canes that taste like your childhood favorite macaroni and cheese. Instant mac & cheese flavor, just like mom used to make! It's...

Narcissist Mints

$3.99

It's all about you and your breath You’re so vain, you probably think these mints are about you, don’t you? Now your favorite narcissist can have fresh breath while he admires himself in...

Rosie the Riveter Air Freshener

$4.99

Run your car on girl power with our Rosie the Riveter Air Freshener! Okay, well technically you'll need gas, and probably a 30K service too, but you know what we mean! That's right, there's yet...

Rosie the Riveter Bandages

$5.49

We can do it! Our Rosie the Riveter Bandages let people know that you got hurt doing something important and persisted through the owie to achieve greatness! Rosie the Riveter was so tough and...

Shakespearean Insult Bandages

$5.49

Add Elizabethan Insult To Injury! Even though thou art a mangled folly-fallen ratsbane, thou shalt still treat thy wounds with our Shakespearean Insult Bandages!   These plasters (British for...

Sloth Socks

$10.49 $9.23

Attention sloth aficionados! Our Sloth Socks are the ideal socks for taking it easy. Seriously, get a grip all ready! When you wear these socks, it looks like a tiny sloth is clinging to your...

Therapeutic Mushroom Stress Ball

$7.99

There's not mushroom for stress in your life Our Therapeutic Mushroom Stress Ball will relax you so much, you’ll feel like you’re a tiny gnome perched on its red and white cap, blowing...

Tin Foil Hat

$9.99

As any "woke" person knows, a Tin Foil Hat is a necessity of modern life.  However, one of the most irritating parts of being under constant, long-distance electronic thought observations is...

Bacon Bandages

$5.49

Making Bacon Boo Boos! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of our Bacon Bandages. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a...

Biggest + Loudest Rubber Chicken

$16.99

One big mother clucker! Everybody loves and knows that Rubber Chickens are hilarious, especially when they squawk! The Biggest And Loudest Rubber Chicken is 22 inches long and squawks so loudly, it...

Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Keeps your car from getting as hot as a rotisserie oven Looking at our Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade, you can imagine that these five Rubber Chickens just flew the coop in your car...

Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade

$17.99

We're totally nutty! This collapsible indoor windshield cover will not only protect and cool your car while blocking UV rays, it will also make it appear like it’s full of a squad of sassy...

Cat Astronaut Air Freshener

$4.99

Also good in spaceships! Space, the final cat door. Our Cat Astronaut Air Freshener features the voyages of the starship Litterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new boxes. To swat at...

Cowgirl Bandages

$5.49

Tough, Independent, and Adorable! Howdy cowpokes!  Let us introduce you to our Cowgirl Bandages! Although a cowgirl sure don't need no rescuing, in case she squats with her spurs on, it's a good...

Crazy Cat Lady Bandages

$5.49

Cat Scratch Fever! Our Crazy Cat Lady Bandages are in paws-ible to ignore, just like the battle scars from loving your furry demon! Cat owners know that sometimes kitties "accidentally" give you...

Dark Side Of The Moon Rainbow Prism

$5.99

Cool gift for a nerd! Is that a rainbow in your pocket or are you just part magical unicorn? Behold, our mysterious Dark Side Of The Moon Rainbow Prism.  It will lead you down the rabbit hole...

Edgar Allan Poe Bandages

$5.49

Does Anyone Else Hear That Tapping Like Noise? Once upon a midnight dreary, I tripped, fell and got all teary.  Only one of our Edgar Allan Poe Bandages stopped the tears. Poe, being the...

Fuzzy Bigfoot Notebook

$14.99

Where Bigfoot writes his life goals Before you ask, this Fuzzy Bigfoot Notebook is covered with ARTIFICIAL Bigfoot fur. We would never sell ANY product with real Bigfoot hair. This amazing...

HandiMonster

$6.99

Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hand? Gotta hand it to the HandiMonster. One second it's just your plain old hand, the next second it's a dang monster (with an adorable underbite)! What are you exactly ... Dr...

Hula Girl Air Freshener

$4.99

Aloha, Mai Tai A Hawaiian vacation is a dream. If you’ve been to Hawaii, our Hula Girl Air Freshener will serve as a reminder of the people and places of the 50th state to join the union. If...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and...

Pizza Candy

$5.99

Yum? The only bad thing about pizza is that you can’t fold it up and carry it around in your pocket without making a huge mess.  Well,  that's not really true... I know a guy that...

Rubber Chicken Men's Socks

$9.99

Socks For The Comedian In Your Life Your feet will immediately begin to feel funny wearing our Rubber Chicken Socks!  Socks are the ultimate way to add your wacky personality to your wardrobe,...

Rubber Chicken Mints

$3.99

  Halitosis humor! Our Rubber Chicken Mints is hilarious, but the mints don’t taste funny, they’re mint-flavored. You’re guaranteed a giggle when you offer one to...

Squirrel Underpants

$5.99

Underwear For Your Squirrel Are you sick and tired of squirrels running naked in the trees around your house? Have you had to hide your children's eyes when a tiny furry streaker crosses the sidewalk...

Baby Face

$6.99

Aww.... look at the baby's beard!  Some babies are born bald just like out Baby Face. Wouldn’t it be fun if you could give them hair? Just move the metal shavings with the magnetic...

Bacon Candy

$6.99

Old fashioned candy with a tasty difference! The red and white striped hard Bacon Candy looks just like the ones that grandma used to put in her fancy candy dish. But, my oh my, would grandma be in...

Blobfish Ornament

$14.99

That Blob makes your tree look amazing Of all the decorations on your tree this winter holiday, the Blobfish Ornament will be the blobbiest. It’s a 4.5 inch hand-blown glass ornament in the...

Bravery Bandages

$5.49

Our hilarious, yet distinguished, Bravery Bandages celebrate the nearly forgotten art of resiliency! Everyone recognizes bravery when it’s risking your life to save someone or facing impossible...

Car Full of Cats Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Fur-real! No kitten! Our meow-nificently fun Car Full of Cats Auto Sunshade will instantly convert any vehicle into a catmobile!  We knead not to mention, but, it's quickly clawing to the top...