Archie McPhee

Edgar Allan Poe Tattoos

$6.99

Our deeply sinister Edgar Allan Poe Tattoos will finally reveal your inner darkness to the world.... muah hahahha!   These tell-tale tats are inspired by such stories and poems as The Tell-Tale...

Cotton Candy Scented Unicorn Air Freshener

$4.99

Instantly make your commute magical with our Cotton Candy Scented Unicorn Air Freshener! Before your very own eyes, your car will turn into a mobile fantasy land populated with unicorns! A sweet...

Tardigrade Air Freshener

$4.99

Water Bear, Don't Care Our irresistible Tardigrade Air Freshener is the micro Spirit Animal of resilience! Truly an inspiration, tardigrades, also lovingly known as water bears or moss piglets, can...

Rubber Chicken Bandages

$5.49

From tears of pain to tears of laughter. If laughter is the best medicine, then our Rubber Chicken Bandages are a cure for what ails you!* Next time you impale yourself with an unwieldy object, don't...

Sloth Nurse Bandages

$5.49

Get better at your own speed Our Sloth Nurse Bandages encourage you to heal faster by taking it easy! So, just relax and get better at your own speed. Why be in such a hurry that when you get hurt...

Bacon Lip Balm

$3.99

Mmmm bacon! Every time you eat bacon don't you wish you could taste that cured meat flavor all day long? Well, now you can! Just carry around a tube of our Bacon Lip Balm and you can keep your lips...

Enchanted Unicorn Notepads

$7.99

Unicorn Quest! Sure, you may be filled with dark, angry thoughts at times, but you can write those somewhere else!  Take a vacation from negativity with our Enchanted Unicorn Notebooks! ...

Legendary Unicorn Mints

$3.99

Believe in fresh breath! Our frolicking awesome Legendary Unicorn Mints are an example of all that is right with the world. Or at least the fantasy world inside of your head! Chances are, if you...

Instant Audience Sound Machine

$8.99

Enjoy having an audience in the palm of your hand with our pocket sized Instant Audience Sound Machine!   This handy little pocket sized device provides sound affect for instant reactions to...

Mona Lisa Masterpiece Air Freshener

$4.99

Do you smile to tempt a lover, Mona Lisa? Or is this your way to hide a broken heart? Spoiler Alert! SHE’S SMILING BECAUSE IT SMELLS GOOD! Turn your car into a smelly museum with an aromatic...

Classic Disguise Glasses

$4.49

When you're on a top-secret mission, you need something that will help you blend in to the crowd, something that will make you unrecognizable... our Classic Disguise Glasses will do the trick!  ...

Bacon Bandages

$5.49

Making Bacon Boo Boos! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of our Bacon Bandages. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a...

Edgar Allan Poe Bandages

$5.49

Does Anyone Else Hear That Tapping Like Noise? Once upon a midnight dreary, I tripped, fell and got all teary.  Only one of our Edgar Allan Poe Bandages stopped the tears. Poe, being the...

Rosie the Riveter Air Freshener

$4.99

Run your car on girl power with our Rosie the Riveter Air Freshener! Okay, well technically you'll need gas, and probably a 30K service too, but you know what we mean! That's right, there's yet...

Rubber Chicken Men's Socks

$9.99

Socks For The Comedian In Your Life Your feet will immediately begin to feel funny wearing our Rubber Chicken Socks!  Socks are the ultimate way to add your wacky personality to your wardrobe,...

The Scream Bandages

$5.49

Shout... shout... Let it all out!  These are the bandages you can't do without. We're willing to bet you Tears for Fears that our terrifyingly awesome The Scream Bandages, are the perfect thing...

Baby Face

$6.99

Aww.... look at the baby's beard!  Some babies are born bald just like out Baby Face. Wouldn’t it be fun if you could give them hair? Just move the metal shavings with the magnetic plastic...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs...

Rubber Chicken Air Freshener

$4.99

Highest rated air freshener by killer clowns! Your car has been smelling funny lately, but our Rubber Chicken Air Freshener by Archie McPhee will make it smell downright hilarious! Lucky for you (and...

Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade

$15.99

We're totally nutty about our Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade! This collapsible indoor windshield cover will not only protect and cool your car while blocking UV rays, it will also make it appear...

Tin Foil Hat

$9.49

As any "woke" person knows, a Tin Foil Hat is a necessity of modern life.  However, one of the most irritating parts of being under constant, long-distance electronic thought observations is...

Cupcake Bandages

$5.49

Cover Your Cuts With Cute! Cupcakes are the cure-all that can conquer your cuts and contusions! Experience the mouth-watering healing power of cupcakes! These Cupcake Bandages let you use the healing...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints...

Therapeutic Mushroom Stress Ball

$7.99

There's not mushroom for stress in your life Our Therapeutic Mushroom Stress Ball will relax you so much, you’ll feel like you’re a tiny gnome perched on its red and white cap, blowing...

Last Supper After Dinner Mints

$3.99

Are the flavors of your last supper lingering too long?   Our Last Supper After Dinner Mints are decorated with a painting of the Biblical Last Supper featuring Jesus and his Apostles. ...

Meh Bandages

$5.99

Meh, it's no biggie. Our Meh Bandages are for when they situation is just meh.  Not too bad that you need to cry... but you do anyway for some sy-MEh-pathy.   These Meh Bandages...

Emergency Chicken Sound Machine

$9.99

Every fowl morning is a chicken emergency Our fowl Emergency Chicken Sound Machine fills in when a real (or rubber) chicken would be too much. The sound machine includes four sounds — peep,...

Hula Girl Air Freshener

$4.99

Aloha, Mai Tai A Hawaiian vacation is a dream. If you’ve been to Hawaii, our Hula Girl Air Freshener will serve as a reminder of the people and places of the 50th state to join the union. If...

Crazy Cat Lady Bandages

$5.49

Cat Scratch Fever! Our Crazy Cat Lady Bandages are in paws-ible to ignore, just like the battle scars from loving your furry demon! Cat owners know that sometimes kitties "accidentally" give you...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and...

Cowgirl Bandages

$5.49

Tough, Independent, and Adorable! Howdy cowpokes!  Let us introduce you to our Cowgirl Bandages! Although a cowgirl sure don't need no rescuing, in case she squats with her spurs on, it's a good...

Dissent Mints

$3.99

Against the grain with freshness! These Dissent Mints feature Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wearing her dissent collar. When she doesn't agree with the rest of the court, she has a...

Abraham Lincoln Bandages

$5.49

Scrape of Injustice? Our Abraham Lincoln Bandages off the comforting, instantly recognizable image of one of our greatest presidents on a bandage.   Scrape or cut, if you're looking for an...

Mansplaining Mints

$4.69

Ladies, when it comes to our Mansplaining Mints, something tells us we don't have to tell you what these are for. But, humor us, if you will... The next time some random dude starts explaining...

Bigfoot Bandages

$5.49

Extra Big For The Extra Hairy! Bigfoot is always walking around those woods while he's barefoot.   So when he steps on a sharp stick or scrapes his foot, Mrs. Bigfoot likes to use our awesome...

Handicorn Unicorn Hand Puppet

$6.99

A Handy Gift for Unicorn Lovers! Excuse me sir, I must tell you that your hand is extraordinary! Yawn.  Look at your boring old hand!  It's so practical with its opposable digit and...

Jesus Bandages

$5.49

Jesus Will Heal You and Your Boo Boo! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of Jesus bandages. And if a Jesus bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how...

Bravery Bandages

$5.49

Our hilarious, yet distinguished, Bravery Bandages celebrate the nearly forgotten art of resiliency! Everyone recognizes bravery when it’s risking your life to save someone or facing impossible...

Giant Wooden Pencil

$8.99

Straight from the land of giants... It's our Giant Pencil!   The greatest feature is that it's a real pencil!   And in that capacity, it functions in all the great ways that a real pencil...

Illuminati Air Freshener

$4.99

Come on. Really? Don't blame a conspiracy... it's your fault your car is so stinky! The Illuminati is the secret organization that is rumored to control the world. So it only makes sense that you'd...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four)...

Rubber Chicken Mints

$3.99

  Halitosis humor! Our Rubber Chicken Mints is hilarious, but the mints don’t taste funny, they’re mint-flavored. You’re guaranteed a giggle when you offer one to someone!...

Enchanted Unicorn Bandages

$5.49

May the power of the unicorn heal you! With the magical healing power of these Enchanted Unicorn Bandages, even your ouchiest owies will heal up in no time! Each 3.75" tall metal tin contains...

Tiny Hands Handages Bandages

$5.49

Clumsy? Let's have a show of hands. Get your hands on our Tiny Hands Handages Bandages if you're an uncoordinated mess, and things tend to get out of hand quite easily. If you're like us, you've...

Cone Kitty Air Freshener

$4.99

It's for your own good, Whisker, I promise. This pathetically miserable kitty in a cone will make your commute more bearable. This poor suffering kitteh will fill your automobile with Pot-PURR-i...

Handipanda

$6.99

Tired of your mediocre-looking hand? Why not make it a cute handa bear! Bamboo'zle your friends as our Handi Panda transforms even the roughest, most calloused hand into something that looks adorable...

Hell is Other People Men's Socks

$9.99

Socks For The Intorverted Looking for the ultimate conversation stopper? Our Hell is Other People Socks will literally tell the world where you stand (get it, they're socks!) when it comes to...

Fly Widow Air Freshener

$4.99

Something smells afoul. Fact: Air fresheners, such as our Fly Widow Air Freshener, cover bad smells.  Fact: The Fly Widow knows not where her deceased husband is. Fact: The Fly Widow has been...

Shakespearean Lip Balm Set

$8.99

Doth thou suffer from dry lips? To be chapped or not to be chapped, that is the question!    This set of three Shakespearean lip balms are decorated to look like Shakespeare (Mint), Hamlet...

Shakespearean Insult Bandages

$5.49

Add Elizabethan Insult To Injury! Even though thou art a mangled folly-fallen ratsbane, thou shalt still treat thy wounds with our Shakespearean Insult Bandages!   These plasters (British for...

Rosie the Riveter Bandages

$5.49

We can do it! Our Rosie the Riveter Bandages let people know that you got hurt doing something important and persisted through the owie to achieve greatness! Rosie the Riveter was so tough and...

Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Keeps your car from getting as hot as a rotisserie oven Looking at our Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade, you can imagine that these five Rubber Chickens just flew the coop in your car...

Squirrel Underpants

$5.99

Underwear For Your Squirrel Are you sick and tired of squirrels running naked in the trees around your house? Have you had to hide your children's eyes when a tiny furry streaker crosses the sidewalk...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the...

Narcissist Mints

$3.99

It's all about you and your breath You’re so vain, you probably think these mints are about you, don’t you? Now your favorite narcissist can have fresh breath while he admires himself in...

Boo Boo Kisses Lip Bandages

$5.49

A Kiss Will Make It Feel Better! Our Boo Boo Kisses Lip Bandages will treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a smooch-able bandage. And if a fancy bandage...

Sloth Socks

$10.49

Attention sloth aficionados! Our Sloth Socks are the ideal socks for taking it easy. Seriously, get a grip all ready! When you wear these socks, it looks like a tiny sloth is clinging to your...

The Scream Air Freshener

$4.99

Shout. Shout. Let us all out of your car it stinks in here! Our Scream Air Freshener is the ideal gift for the person who is filled with existential angst and has a stinky car.  4 inch tall air...

Cat Astronaut Air Freshener

$4.99

Also good in spaceships! Space, the final cat door. Our Cat Astronaut Air Freshener features the voyages of the starship Litterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new boxes. To swat at...

HandiMonster

$6.99

Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hand? Gotta hand it to the HandiMonster. One second it's just your plain old hand, the next second it's a dang monster (with an adorable underbite)! What are you exactly ... Dr...