Archie McPhee

Sigmund Freud Candy Book

$5.99

Tell Us More About Your Mother's CandySo... do you think your mom would like this candy?  Instead of containing the world-changing insights and observations of Sigmund Freud, our tiny Sigmund...

Enchanted Unicorn Notepads

$7.99

Unicorn Quest! Sure, you may be filled with dark, angry thoughts at times, but you can write those somewhere else!  Take a vacation from negativity with our Enchanted Unicorn Notebooks! ...

Rosie the Riveter Bandages

$5.99

We can do it! Our Rosie the Riveter Bandages let people know that you got hurt doing something important and persisted through the owie to achieve greatness! Rosie the Riveter was so tough and...

Abraham Lincoln Bandages

$5.99 $3.00

Scrape of Injustice? Our Abraham Lincoln Bandages off the comforting, instantly recognizable image of one of our greatest presidents on a bandage.   Scrape or cut, if you're looking for an...

Inflatable Tiara

$7.99

Yaasss queen! You will look gorgeous adorned by our Inflatable Tiara whether you're beauty queen, ice queen, drag queen, drama queen, or dairy queen! It's also the perfect thing to keep with...

Fly Widow Air Freshener

$3.99

Something smells afoul. Fact: Air fresheners, such as our Fly Widow Air Freshener, cover bad smells.  Fact: The Fly Widow knows not where her deceased husband is. Fact: The Fly Widow has been...

Handipanda

$6.99

Tired of your mediocre-looking hand? Why not make it a cute handa bear! Bamboo'zle your friends as our Handi Panda transforms even the roughest, most calloused hand into something that looks adorable...

Finger Monsters!

$8.99

They're baaaack... Our mischievous Finger Monster! Set is up to their old shenanigans again! The Finger Monsters have been secretly running away from our warehouse! We've heard reports...

Cupcake Bandages

$5.99 $3.00

Cover Your Cuts With Cute! Cupcakes are the cure-all that can conquer your cuts and contusions! Experience the mouth-watering healing power of cupcakes! These Cupcake Bandages let you use the healing...

Mansplaining Mints

$4.69 $2.00

Ladies, when it comes to our Mansplaining Mints, something tells us we don't have to tell you what these are for. But, humor us, if you will... The next time some random dude starts explaining...

Boo Boo Kisses Lip Bandages

$5.99

A Kiss Will Make It Feel Better! Our Boo Boo Kisses Lip Bandages will treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a smooch-able bandage. And if a fancy bandage...

Lemon Shark Juicer

$10.69

You Can Squueze A Lemon, But Not A Lemon SharkDont be alarmed.  This is not an actual Lemon Shark... its our harmless and helpful Lemon Shark Juicer!  I guess you could put it in the ocean...

Inflatable Unicorn Horn For Cats

$6.99

Your Cat Is Going To Kill You Your cat may like to show off that its all standoffish and in control, but you could turn all that around with our Inflatable Unicorn Horn For Cats.   For an...

Tin Foil Hat

$9.49

As any "woke" person knows, a Tin Foil Hat is a necessity of modern life.  However, one of the most irritating parts of being under constant, long-distance electronic thought observations is...

Illuminati Air Freshener

$3.99

Come on. Really? Don't blame a conspiracy... it's your fault your car is so stinky! The Illuminati is the secret organization that is rumored to control the world. So it only makes sense that you'd...

Cat Monk Air Freshener

$3.99 $2.00

Cat-astropic commute? Cat Monk says... Stay in the here and meow. An expert in the Meow Te Ching, our Cat Monk Air Freshener wants to serve as a constant reminder that you should be present and...

Enchanted Unicorn Bandages

$5.99

With the magical healing power of these Enchanted Unicorn Bandages, even your ouchiest owies will heal up in no time! Each 3.75" tall metal tin contains fifteen 3" x 1" adhesive bandages with...

Sloth Socks

$10.49

Attention sloth aficionados! Our Sloth Socks are the ideal socks for taking it easy. Seriously, get a grip all ready! When you wear these socks, it looks like a tiny sloth is clinging to your...

The Scream Air Freshener

$3.99 $2.00

Shout. Shout. Let us all out of your car it stinks in here! Our Scream Air Freshener is the ideal gift for the person who is filled with existential angst and has a stinky car.  4 inch tall air...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99 $2.00

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints...

Rubber Chicken Air Freshener

$3.99 $2.00

Highest rated air freshener by killer clowns! Your car has been smelling funny lately, but our Rubber Chicken Air Freshener by Archie McPhee will make it smell downright hilarious! Lucky for you (and...

Bigfoot Bandages

$5.99

Extra Big For The Extra Hairy! Bigfoot is always walking around those woods while he's barefoot.   So when he steps on a sharp stick or scrapes his foot, Mrs. Bigfoot likes to use our awesome...

Squirrel in Underpants Mints

$3.99 $2.00

Fresh this Fall our Squirrel in Underpants Mints will inspire you to cloth all of the tiny streakers in your neighborhood! If only you could afford to buy enough undies for all of the adorable mini...

Lunch Disguise Sandwich Bags

$4.99

Don't make me club sandwich you Do you deal with people stealing your lunch by just leaving a passive aggressive note on the fridge?  We all know that never works so why not disguise your...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four)...

Classic Disguise Glasses

$3.99 $2.00

When you're on a top-secret mission, you need something that will help you blend in to the crowd, something that will make you unrecognizable... our Classic Disguise Glasses will do the trick!  ...

Hell is Other People Men's Socks

$9.99

Socks For The IntorvertedLooking for the ultimate conversation stopper? Our Hell is Other People Socks will literally tell the world where you stand (get it, they're socks!) when it comes to...

Introvert Mints

$3.99

Most people carry funny mint tins as conversation starters when people see them. Not our Introvert Mints! Since it’s likely that no one will ever see these mints, you can smile to yourself...

Cotton Candy Scented Unicorn Air Freshener

$3.99

Instantly make your commute magical with our Cotton Candy Scented Unicorn Air Freshener! Before your very own eyes, your car will turn into a mobile fantasy land populated with unicorns! A sweet...

Cupcake Gumballs

$4.99 $2.00

Our Cupcake Gumballs are mighty tasty on their own, but for a true sugar fix try adding some into the batter of your next batch of cupcakes to make Double Frosting Gumball Cupcakes!  Each ...

Parasite Pals Pencil Toppers

$5.99

Human leeches like your freeloading brother, money mooching friend and emotional vampire gal pal tend to give all parasites a bad rap... but there's a host of charming ones that are down right...

Mona Lisa Masterpiece Air Freshener

$3.99

Do you smile to tempt a lover, Mona Lisa? Or is this your way to hide a broken heart? Spoiler Alert! SHE’S SMILING BECAUSE IT SMELLS GOOD! Turn your car into a smelly museum with an aromatic...

Cat in Bonnet Air Freshener

$3.99 $2.00

Smells like Purr-fection Our Cat in Bonnet Air Freshener not only shows that you not only enjoy cats wearing hats, but that you identify with the plain and simple pioneer cats of the late 1800s...

Tiny Hands Handages Bandages

$5.99 $3.00

Clumsy? Let's have a show of hands. Get your hands on our Tiny Hands Handages Bandages if you're an uncoordinated mess, and things tend to get out of hand quite easily. If you're like us,...

Stress Manatee

$7.99

Squishy sea cow = Cheaper than therapy! Under the careful guidance of our professionally trained Stress Manatee, learn how to relax, and go with the flow. Man, have those manatees have got it made...

The Scream Bandages

$5.99 $3.00

Shout... shout... Let it all out!  These are the bandages you can't do without. We're willing to bet you Tears for Fears that our terrifyingly awesome The Scream Bandages, are the perfect thing...