Unemployed Philosophers Guild

Freedom Soap - Foam Of The Brave

$3.49

Give me your grungy, your mired, your muddy masses yearning to be clean! Liberate your self from that stinky, stanky, day old, funk with our Freedom soap!  Apparently, independence smells of...

Freud's Wash Fulfillment Soap

$3.49

The soap you can slip on... Freud's Wash Fulfillment Soap. Mysophobia* got you down? As the good doctor said, "Dirt of any kind seems to us incompatible with civilization." Freudian Soap washes away...

Classic Batman Mints

$2.99

Na-Na Na-Na Na-Na Na Na... No way!  Not with that stinky breath!  Holy Halitosis Batman! Fishy penguin breath got you down?  Have no fear!  Our Classic Batman Mints have arrived...

Jane Austen's Finest Balm

$4.99

Have you ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season? One must try Jane Austen's Finest Balm! For it will apply a whimsical humor to your dry, chapped talkers, and cause your moisturized...

Kitten Bath Soap

$3.49

Our Kitten Bath Soap is just the size for little paw paws that try to like to jump in the shower. True story... Walked into the house last night and Mr. Whiskers was all like, "Listen, I've been...

Classic Superman Mints

$2.99 $2.00

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... our Classic Superman Mints are so strong!  It's like Kryptonite to your ole buddy...

Rosie's We Can Wash It! Soap

$3.49

Tough job? Not a problem. Even when you knock off for the day, you'll be riveting when you lather up with Rosie's We Can Wash It! Soap Tiny bar of soap (though it be but little, it is fierce.)...

Trump Impeachmints

$2.99

Without any evidence, this is the best the left can do! Our totally offensive Trump Impeachmints are for bad hombres with bad breath, and worse vocabulary. Do you bad-mouth people? Drop one of...

Trump's Small Hand Soap

$3.49

For dirty politics Would you believe that our Trump's Small Hand Soap was made in Russia?  How about that it can remove stains and marks on your cabinet?  We heard a rumor that this is the...

National Embarrassmints

$2.99

Trump your bad breath with a mint! Our Donald Trump National Embarrassmints are pretty darn puny don't ya think?  We hope these mints don't offend you!  We had some Hillary ones too, but...