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Candy

Looking for some tasty treats to stuff your face with?  Check out our collection of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and more aimed to satisfy nearly every sugary sweet, or sinfully salty craving under the sun!  You'll find super yummy gift ideas too if you're willing to part with them!

CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

Keep Calm and Munch On Yummy CBD Gummies Introducing our mega-huge CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg!  Personally, we eat our CBD gummy bears two at at time. So they don't have to die alone.  We're thoughtful like that. CBD...

CBD Gummy Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

There's a CBD party in my tummy! Feeling funny, feeling funny... You may enjoy the occasional Yo Gabba Gabba episode, but our CBD Gummy Party Pack are for adults only! They do not contain THC - rather they do contain the super awesome power of CBD oil...

CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis

$24.99

CBD edibles have arrived! Good luck trying to wipe that smile off your face! Too peopley outside? No problem! Reach for your jar of CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis and your social anxiety will run for the hills, instead of you! These smiley face...

CBD Gummy Watermelon Rings

$24.99

Feeling a bit melon-choly? Our CBD infused edibles will save the day! Formulated with cannabidiol our CBD Gummy Watermelon Rings help to promote an awesome sense of calm and overall wellness,  CBD is short for cannabidiol. Cannabidiol...

CBD Gummy Worms

$24.99

CBD is legal in all 50 states, y'all! Why settle for vaping or salves when our CBD Gummy Worms are just like the ones you remember from your childhood! These squirmy little wormies taste, look, smell, and feel the same. The only difference is that they...

CBD Gummy Ribbons

$24.99

Double rainbow edibles!? What does it mean?? Take a trip outside of your typical comfort zone with our yummy CBD Gummy Ribbons! Say what? With the anti-anxiety and stress-reducing effects of CBD oil, you'll quickly be on your way a relaxing and...

CBD Gummy Peach Rings

$24.99

These cannabidiol edibles will leave you feeling just peachy! It's no coincidence our CBD Gummy Peach Rings are shaped like tiny life savers, for they truly are! These tasty little treats pack a substantial punch with 25mg of CBD per piece...

CBD Gummy Cherries

$24.99

Feel CBD cherrific before you know it! Our CBD Gummy Cherries edibles are the ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!  This is not your mom's high school weed! Feeling a bit stressed or anxious? Pop a couple of these in your mouth and you'll feel your worries...

CBD Gummy Blueberry Rings

$24.99

CBD edibles shaped as tiny life savers - coincidence? We think naut! Our CBD Gummy Blueberry Rings are here to come to the rescue! These tasty little hemp oil candies pack a substantial punch with 25mg of CBD per piece. Don't know what CBD is? Allow us...

CBD Gummy Bears

$24.99

Oh, I'm a CBD Gummy Bear.... a CBD Gummy Bear.  I'm a yummy, edible, social anxiety reducing gummy bear! What a long strange trip it's been getting CBD Gummy Bears to the market, but we're so Grateful they've finally made it! Now that they're...

CBD Gummy Apple Rings

$24.99

An apple a day keeps the stress away! *If that apple is a CBD edible that is!* Don’t be fooled by their innocent appearance! Our potent CBD Gummy Apple Rings may ring of nostalgia, but these candies contain approximately 25mg of CBD per...

Bacon Lover's Lollipop Gift Set

$12.49 $10.99

Breakfast Candy of ChampionsAttention all bacon lovers!!  We have found your new favorite bacon item.  Our Bacon Lover Lollipop Gift Set has maple, honey and barbeque flavored savory-sweet lollipops!  The sensation you will get from this...

Bag of Dog Farts

$8.99

It's safe to blame the dog on this fart, our Bag of Dog Farts. Descended from the mighty wolf, when things get RUUUFFF, the loyal dog is there by your side. With a quick wag of their tale and a slobbery kiss, dogs will do anything to help brighten your...

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

$8.99

Top Unicorn Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts  |  Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart.  |  We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect gift for the lovers, the dreamers and you!  It's not an illusion... we've...

Pickle Jelly Beans

$7.99

It's a pickle party! You can take our savory Pickle Jelly Beans everywhere! Real pickles may be all briny and damp but these pickly jelly beans are perfect little bites of dill-flavored sweetness. Not quite as dill-icious as actual pickles, but a...

Gummy Candy Burger

$7.99

A whopper of a Gummy! Made of 22 delicious candies, The Original Gummy Candy Burger is a concept that is well-done! Complete with see-thru cardboard burger box, it's the king of all gummies! 6 sweet candy top bun slices 6 candy cheese n sauce gummy...

Candy Taco

$7.99

Taco bout a clever candy! Our Candy Taco is just the sugary sustenance a taco lover with a sweet tooth needs on the go! Move over Choco-Taco, there's a sweeter less meltier version in town! (but don't go too far, we do love you! we just need a break)...

Super-Size Ball Swirl Lollipop

$6.99

You'd better ball-lieve it, sweetness! Our bright and colorful Super-Size Ball Swirl Lollipops are only for the truly dedicated sweet tooth. At its size it's probably going to take you more than one sitting! Impressive 2 inches in diameter = long...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the butter hungry monster living inside, while teasing it with...

Talk With Your Cat Breath Spray

$5.99

After years of testing by NASA, the anxiously awaited and groundbreaking Instantly Talk with Your Cat Breath Spray has finally been made available to the public.   Never before has the world seen a more useful product. Never. Just one quick spritz...

Craft Beer Lollipop

$4.99

Revolutionize the way you party down with our Craft Beer Lollipops that are shaped like craft beer bottles and available in three crafted flavors. What better flavors of custom beer than pale ale, classic lager and chocolate stout for these hand-poured...

Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box

$4.99

Candy bento box! It's soy cute! Our Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box comes with 9 pieces of candy modeled after sushi rolls and garnishings, arranged in a plastic bento box style tray! 2 Candy Nigiri (marshmallow topped with a gummy fish) 2...

Spicy Chili Pepper Lollipop

$4.99

Are you a sucker for spicy food?  Lovers of spicy food will just eat up our handmade Spicy Chili Pepper Lollipops! Each one of these chili-pepper-shaped hard candy pops is infused with real chili pepper bits, and pack a heat that can't be beat!...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

Mansplaining Mints

$4.69 $4.13

Ladies, when it comes to our Mansplaining Mints, something tells us we don't have to tell you what these are for. But, humor us, if you will... The next time some random dude starts explaining something to you in a condescending tone, just offer him one...

Dissent Mints

$3.99

Against the grain with freshness! These Dissent Mints feature Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wearing her dissent collar. When she doesn't agree with the rest of the court, she has a special jabot (ornamental frill) she wears. These mints...

Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a yummy retro treat! Since the early NASA Mercury Missions, space food has gone global! Today, Astronaut...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs to use Cat Astronaut Mints before and during all of...

Sugar Bear Lollipop

$3.99

Oh, I'm a Sugar BearYeah, I'm a Sugar Bear Our handmade, happy-go-lucky Sugar Bear Lollipops are hard candy doppelgangers of the original gummy bears! They're it on a stick!  Available in a rainbow of colors and flavors! Red (cherry) Orange...

Fudge-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

Oh, Fudge!  We feel like a kid in a candy shop! Our eye catching Fudge-Pop Lollipops are available in 6 different color/flavor combinations... How will we ever decide!? Strawberry/Chocolate (Pink & Brown) Vanilla/Chocolate (White & Brown)...

Sour-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

Pucker up buttercup! Our bright and colorful Sour-Pop Lollipops are handmade in the USA and available in 3 tempting flavors and color combinations: Sour Watermelon (pink & green) Sour Wildberry (purple & blue) Sour Pink Lemonade (yellow...

Dinosaur Poop Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

You saur it here first! There's no bones about it, our Dinosaur Poop Lollipops are mammoth hit with dino lovers!  Melville Candy dinosaur poop lollipops are a fun unique sweet treat Hard candy green and blue swirl lollipops Coated with glittery...

Cream-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

They're the cream of the crop! A dream-cicle come true, our Cream-Pop Lollipops are designed to look like classic ice-cream pops! They come on a thick wooden pop-sicle stick in six different exciting color and flavor combinations! Strawberry/Vanilla...

Unicorn Fart Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

We're ecstatic about our prismatic Unicorn Fart Lollipop by Melville Candy! It is a real gas! A real mythical rainbow-colored fruit-punch-tasting gas-sy fart that is! How did this product get pulled from our imaginations and brought to you on a stick,...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Astronaut Strawberries

$3.99

Intergalactic Mission Snack! Our Astronaut Strawberries are an out of this world gastronomical experience! Enjoy your strawberries just as the astronauts do - the freeze-dried way! Astronaut Strawberries, as well as other freeze-drive food items, have...

Barf Lollipop

$3.99

Like, Gag Me With A Lollipop The ultimate gag gift... our Barf Lollipop is a deliciously fun way to share your utter disgust at a situation or person, or to just gross out the person you're closest with... just because you can. To up the puke factor...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints left over when we made our other mints! These mints are...

Last Supper After Dinner Mints

$3.99

Are the flavors of your last supper lingering too long?   Our Last Supper After Dinner Mints are decorated with a painting of the Biblical Last Supper featuring Jesus and his Apostles.    Chew a few after your own supper (or breakfast,...

Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.59

Not Gonna Melt! Our fascinating Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich is a tasty snack that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re out exploring the galaxy or hanging back here on Earth! Frozen in time, yet not frozen in temperature, it takes the ice...

Narcissist Mints

$3.99 $3.51

It's all about you and your breath You’re so vain, you probably think these mints are about you, don’t you? Now your favorite narcissist can have fresh breath while he admires himself in the mirror and explains why you’re wrong!...

Rubber Chicken Mints

$3.99 $3.51

  Halitosis humor! Our Rubber Chicken Mints is hilarious, but the mints don’t taste funny, they’re mint-flavored. You’re guaranteed a giggle when you offer one to someone! Cute, but cute tin of mints Get a laugh and fresh...

Legendary Unicorn Mints

$3.99 $3.51

Believe in fresh breath! Our frolicking awesome Legendary Unicorn Mints are an example of all that is right with the world. Or at least the fantasy world inside of your head! Chances are, if you love unicorns as much as we do (which may just be...

Ginsburg's Judgmints

$3.49

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons desiring breath that is Honorable are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for these Ginsburg's Judgmints are Supreme! Keep one under your robe and a spare in your chambers. Taste like justice Bite of dissent...

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

$3.49

With our Bob Ross Happy Little Mints, The Joy of Painting and fresh breath are now within reach! Talk to the tree, make friends with it. People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different. Enjoy the...

Mister Rogers' Encouragements

$3.49

Won't you, please?  Please, won't you, please?  Please, have one or two Mister Rogers' Encouragemints!! Whether you're changing into your suit or your cardigan - whether you're coming home or going out into the neighborhood, you'll have more...

Booger Lollipop

$2.99

You Can Pick Your Candy And Eat It Too We had to dig deep in the recesses of our brain for this one... but we just nose we picked the perfect gift for your sugar booger this Valentine's Day! Our sour-apple flavored Booger Lollipop is a deliciously fun...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lollipop

$5.99 $2.89

Psst... We've got the inside scoop Our Giant Dipped Ice Cream Cone is eye candy that's real candy! These gorgeous and colorful ice cream shaped lollipops that have been handmade and dipped in a flavored hard candy (crafted from a secret 75 year old...

Ask Your Doctor If Shutting The F*ck Up Is Right For You Gum

$1.99

Take the doctor's advice! Warning: Side effects may include me being way happier than I was before you shut the fuck up.  Includes 8 pieces of candy-coated mint-flavored gum in a dainty box.  Measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches wide. Ask...

What's It Like Being A Butthead, Butthead? Gum

$1.99

Share your knowledge! I'm not too proud to admit that it takes one to know one. Have you considered writing a book? Our What's It Like Being A Butthead, Butthead? Gum includes 8 pieces of candy-coated fruit-flavored gum in a dainty box.  Measures...

I Hate You Just Kidding Gum

$1.99

Do you think I'm kidding? Yeah, yeah... wasting time hating someone is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die... or something insightful like that.   This could be fun gum to give your friend if you guys share an inside...

I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby Gum

$1.99

You got a problem with that? I'm not embarrassed,  I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby For Some Weason... My fur baby, my soulmate, the love of my life! You're sho shmarth Whath did you do thoday? Ready for beddy bye? Did you mishsh...

Overthinkers Gum

$1.99

Still thinking about this... I'm just not sure what to write about our Overthinkers Gum.  I guess I could maybe talk about why you would want one.  Or maybe I should run some numbers to see if this is the perfect gum for you, or if maybe...

Motherf*cker Better Card Me Gum

$1.99

Of course, yes, I do have my license! So I've see your little sign that says you card under 45.  You can't even imagine what I will do to you if you don't card me! Forever ago... We took a friend's mom out to lunch at a beach bar for her 50th...

Hit Reply All One More Time I Swear To God Gum

$1.99

Just no! Step away from the mouse! You don't seem to get the hint we've been dropping for years  We're not interested in what you think! We've seen the jokes, most beautiful pictures of national parks, fake news, this year's flu warning and formed...

I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum

$1.99

Feeling all philo-sloth-ical and stuff Good times are a plenty with our I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum.  Embrace the lazy but amazy attitude of everyone's favorite slow roller. Word on the street is that you're looking to score some peppermint...

Bitch, Be Cool Gum

$1.99

What up, dawg. Introducing our savagely fun Bitch, Be Cool Gum. Did you think we were above putting the word "bitch" next to an image of a dog just for a good laugh? You were wrong. If you didn't read the phrase on our Bitch, Be Cool Gum in Samuel L...

Procrastinate Like There Is A Tomorrow Gum

$1.99

Dance like everyone is watching! Our deliciously cheeky Procrastinate Like There Is A Tomorrow Gum is a fun little gift punctuated with minty flavor and biting humor! Behold a cool and minty present with a message that is sure to strike a chord with your...

Let That Shit Go Gum

$1.99

Take two deep breaths and call me in the morning. Our thought-provoking and breath freshening Let That Shit Go Gum features the Medicine Buddha encouraging you to move on bruh. Seriously. It was like 4 years ago and it wasn't even that big of a deal...

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