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Candy

Looking for some tasty treats to stuff your face with?  Check out our collection of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and more aimed to satisfy nearly every sugary sweet, or sinfully salty craving under the sun!  You'll find super yummy gift ideas too if you're willing to part with them!

CBD Gummy Cherries

$24.99

Feel CBD cherrific before you know it! Our CBD Gummy Cherries edibles are the ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!  This is not your mom's high school weed! Feeling a bit stressed or anxious? Pop a couple of these in your mouth and you'll feel your worries...

Ketchup Candy Canes

$7.99

Would you like a side of fries with that? The only candy cane to eat with french fries!  Do you know what makes mediocre food edible? Ketchup! So, just imagine how a ketchup-flavored candy cane can take your holiday from meh to magnificent. This...

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg RBG Dissent Mints

$3.99

Against the grain with freshness! These Dissent Mints feature Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wearing her dissent collar. When she doesn't agree with the rest of the court, she has a special jabot (ornamental frill) she wears. These mints...

CBD Gummy Blueberry Rings

$24.99

CBD edibles shaped as tiny life savers - coincidence? We think naut! Our CBD Gummy Blueberry Rings are here to come to the rescue! These tasty little hemp oil candies pack a substantial punch with 25mg of CBD per piece. Don't know what CBD is? Allow us...

Mac & Cheese Candy

$5.99

This is just so cheesy! When I make boxed mac & cheese, I always add a ton of extra butter and milk.  My boyfriend on the other hand thinks he does - but yeah no.  I like mine like a cheesy soup with pasta elbows.  Anyone else with me...

Narcissist Mints

$3.99

It's all about you and your breath You’re so vain, you probably think these mints are about you, don’t you? Now your favorite narcissist can have fresh breath while he admires himself in the mirror and explains why you’re wrong!...

CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis

$24.99

CBD edibles have arrived! Good luck trying to wipe that smile off your face! Too peopley outside? No problem! Reach for your jar of CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis and your social anxiety will run for the hills, instead of you! These smiley face...

Cream-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

They're the cream of the crop! A dream-cicle come true, our Cream-Pop Lollipops are designed to look like classic ice-cream pops! They come on a thick wooden pop-sicle stick in six different exciting color and flavor combinations! Strawberry/Vanilla...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the butter hungry monster living inside, while teasing it with...

Pickle Jelly Beans

$7.99

It's a pickle party! You can take our savory Pickle Jelly Beans everywhere! Real pickles may be all briny and damp but these pickly jelly beans are perfect little bites of dill-flavored sweetness. Not quite as dill-icious as actual pickles, but a...

CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

Keep Calm and Munch On Yummy CBD Gummies Introducing our mega-huge CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg!  Personally, we eat our CBD gummy bears two at at time. So they don't have to die alone.  We're thoughtful like that. CBD...

Cute But Psycho. But Cute. Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For The UnpredictableSometimes, just sometimes... being perpetually cute comes with a price and our Cute But Psycho But Cute Gum pretty much sums it up perfectly, in the cutest way possibly of course. A fun cautionary gift for when it's...

CBD Gummy Ribbons

$24.99

Double rainbow edibles!? What does it mean?? Take a trip outside of your typical comfort zone with our yummy CBD Gummy Ribbons! Say what? With the anti-anxiety and stress-reducing effects of CBD oil, you'll quickly be on your way a relaxing and...

Motherf*cker Better Card Me Gum

$1.99

Of course, yes, I do have my license! So I've see your little sign that says you card under 45.  You can't even imagine what I will do to you if you don't card me! Forever ago... We took a friend's mom out to lunch at a beach bar for her 50th...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints left over when we made our other mints! These mints are...

You're Kind Of A Dick Gum

$1.99

For that Dick in your life - and we ain't talkin' about Richard   Our vintage styled You're Kind of a Dick Gum is a fun an unexpected gift you can slip to any prick you may happen upon during your day.   Can't think of anyone deserving of such...

Astronaut Strawberries

$3.99

Intergalactic Mission Snack! Our Astronaut Strawberries are an out of this world gastronomical experience! Enjoy your strawberries just as the astronauts do - the freeze-dried way! Astronaut Strawberries, as well as other freeze-drive food items, have...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum

$1.99

Feeling all philo-sloth-ical and stuff Good times are a plenty with our I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum.  Embrace the lazy but amazy attitude of everyone's favorite slow roller. Word on the street is that you're looking to score some peppermint...

CBD Gummy Apple Rings

$24.99

An apple a day keeps the stress away! *If that apple is a CBD edible that is!* Don’t be fooled by their innocent appearance! Our potent CBD Gummy Apple Rings may ring of nostalgia, but these candies contain approximately 25mg of CBD per...

Look! I'm Wearing The Smile You Gave Me Gum

$1.99

Everyone Will Whaley Love This CandyWhale, hello there! We noticed our Look! I'm Wearing The Smile You Gave Me Gum has gotten your attention with it's perpetu-whale grin! Will you take this whale to be your very best friend? Pretty please, with some...

Pizza Candy

$5.99

Yum? The only bad thing about pizza is that you can’t fold it up and carry it around in your pocket without making a huge mess.  Well,  that's not really true... I know a guy that would put a plastic baggie in his pocket and sneak food...

I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby Gum

$1.99

You got a problem with that? I'm not embarrassed,  I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby For Some Weason... My fur baby, my soulmate, the love of my life! You're sho shmarth Whath did you do thoday? Ready for beddy bye? Did you mishsh...

I Hate You Just Kidding Gum

$1.99

Do you think I'm kidding? Yeah, yeah... wasting time hating someone is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die... or something insightful like that.   This could be fun gum to give your friend if you guys share an inside...

Lucky Mojo Ginger Candy

$6.99

Way luckier than circus peanuts or candy corn! Do you need of a bit of extra luck today? Before you tear about your yard looking for a four leaf clover, reach for our Lucky Mojo Ginger Candies! These are the most (allegedly) powerful candies ever...

Step Aside Coffee Gum

$1.99

Coffee... We love you.  You're so cute sometimes!  Now step aside, it's time to bring in the big guns! We have a lot of experience... We've been at this for a long time. And we know what we need to succeed. Booze, and lots of it.  But only...

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

$3.49

With our Bob Ross Happy Little Mints, The Joy of Painting and fresh breath are now within reach! Talk to the tree, make friends with it. People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different. Enjoy the...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

CBD Gummy Bears

$24.99

Oh, I'm a CBD Gummy Bear.... a CBD Gummy Bear.  I'm a yummy, edible, social anxiety reducing gummy bear! What a long strange trip it's been getting CBD Gummy Bears to the market, but we're so Grateful they've finally made it! Now that they're...

I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For Guys With Built In GPS Our refreshingly crass I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Stop the car! I'm getting out... a piece of gum to cut this tension with some much needed laughter. Fragile...

What's It Like Being A Butthead, Butthead? Gum

$1.99

Share your knowledge! I'm not too proud to admit that it takes one to know one. Have you considered writing a book? Our What's It Like Being A Butthead, Butthead? Gum includes 8 pieces of candy-coated fruit-flavored gum in a dainty box.  Measures...

CBD Gummy Watermelon Rings

$24.99

Feeling a bit melon-choly? Our CBD infused edibles will save the day! Formulated with cannabidiol our CBD Gummy Watermelon Rings help to promote an awesome sense of calm and overall wellness,  CBD is short for cannabidiol. Cannabidiol...

Fudge-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

Oh, Fudge!  We feel like a kid in a candy shop! Our eye catching Fudge-Pop Lollipops are available in 6 different color/flavor combinations... How will we ever decide!? Strawberry/Chocolate (Pink & Brown) Vanilla/Chocolate (White & Brown)...

Gummy Candy Burger

$7.99

A whopper of a Gummy! Made of 22 delicious candies, The Original Gummy Candy Burger is a concept that is well-done! Complete with see-thru cardboard burger box, it's the king of all gummies! 6 sweet candy top bun slices 6 candy cheese n sauce gummy...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

Hey Bitches Gum

$1.99

Bitches + Kittens When you whip out your pack of Hey Bitches Gum, you'd better be ready to toss back a box of Pino Grigio! You are calling the pack - your gang of girls together. Will it be a tears and ice cream night or a go out and (no survivors)...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Neon CBD Gummy Bears

$14.99

Do more of what makes you happy! I'm a yummy, edible, social anxiety reducing CBD edible! What a long strange trip it's been getting Neon CBD Gummy Bears to the market, but we're so Grateful they've finally made it! Now that they're available, weed...

Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Not Gonna Melt! Our fascinating Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich is a tasty snack that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re out exploring the galaxy or hanging back here on Earth! Frozen in time, yet not frozen in temperature, it takes the ice...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

CBD Gummy Peach Rings

$24.99

These cannabidiol edibles will leave you feeling just peachy! It's no coincidence our CBD Gummy Peach Rings are shaped like tiny life savers, for they truly are! These tasty little treats pack a substantial punch with 25mg of CBD per piece...

Tardigrade Mints

$4.99

  Water bear don't care... But we do!  Fight your halitosis microscopically with our Tardigrade Mints.  Tardigrades are probably the most popular microscopic creature at the moment. In fact, they’re fondly referred to as water...

Overthinkers Gum

$1.99

Still thinking about this... I'm just not sure what to write about our Overthinkers Gum.  I guess I could maybe talk about why you would want one.  Or maybe I should run some numbers to see if this is the perfect gum for you, or if maybe...

Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum

$1.99

Just once piece of our Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum unlocks the dialogue between you and your pet!  You'll finally be able to share your intimate dreams and fears, stock tips, recipes and who you think should be kicked off Big Brother next! For...

Craft Beer Lollipop

$4.99

Revolutionize the way you party down with our Craft Beer Lollipops that are shaped like craft beer bottles and available in three crafted flavors. What better flavors of custom beer than pale ale, classic lager and chocolate stout for these hand-poured...

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum Sometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum on you at all times!  You never know when a...

Watermelon CBD Lollipops

$14.99

You won't be feeling Melon-choly anymore! Our super lip-smacking Watermelon CBD Lollipops are ready to melt your anxiety away. These suckers look, feel and taste just like a lollipop but they won't leave you feeling the same because these are made with...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

Last Supper After Dinner Mints

$3.99

Are the flavors of your last supper lingering too long?   Our Last Supper After Dinner Mints are decorated with a painting of the Biblical Last Supper featuring Jesus and his Apostles.    Chew a few after your own supper (or breakfast, or...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

Pickle Candy

$5.99

This candy is dill-icious! If you like pickles, you’ll love Pickle Candy! These green and white striped hard candies look like the spearmint candies grandma might keep in a crystal dish on the credenza. But, if she tasted one of these, she’d...

CBD Gummy Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

There's a CBD party in my tummy! Feeling funny, feeling funny... You may enjoy the occasional Yo Gabba Gabba episode, but our CBD Gummy Party Pack are for adults only! They do not contain THC - rather they do contain the super awesome power of CBD oil...

I Have PMS & GPS Gum

$1.99

This Bitch Will Find You Gum Take next right.  IN YOUR FACE!   That's right sunshine.  You're barking up the wrong tree and at the wrong time of the month.  We guarantee that you will not want to be on the receiving end of our I...

Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a yummy retro treat! Since the early NASA Mercury Missions, space food has gone global! Today, Astronaut...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

CBD Gummy Worms

$24.99

CBD is legal in all 50 states, y'all! Why settle for vaping or salves when our CBD Gummy Worms are just like the ones you remember from your childhood! These squirmy little wormies taste, look, smell, and feel the same. The only difference is that they...

Feel Incredibly High Instantly Breath Spray

$4.99

Introducing our Feel Incredibly High Instantly Breath Spray... Liquid Marijuana*.  Your very own Buzz in a Bottle! Catch the perfect buzz without catching the heat!  Get high at work, in class, even at the pool! So discreet you can use it...

My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum

$1.99

Whatever, Karen. Our snarky My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum is the perfectly absurd rebuttal for when you're too deep into your own (Netflix) marathon training and simply too chill to care.  If you're like us, you're exhausted from sight of...

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