SUMMER SALE

Candy

Looking for some tasty treats to stuff your face with?  Check out our collection of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and more aimed to satisfy nearly every sugary sweet, or sinfully salty craving under the sun!  You'll find super yummy gift ideas too if you're willing to part with them!

Fierce B*tch Snarky Tea

$14.99

Stay bold, stay snarky...  Yaaaaaaaas. The heavens have shined upon you with a celestial light of fiery fierceness and you’re absolutely killing it. When you walk by, flowers perk up and haters bow down. Two snaps and a clap – the queen...

Calm The F**k Down Tea Snarky Tea

$14.99

Adulting is hard.    Like, really hard.     Our Calm The F*ck Down Snarky Tea can help. You’re late for work and there’s crazy traffic. There’s mascara in your eye, concealer on your white pants and to top it off, it...

Wake The F**k Up Snarky Tea

$14.99

Good morning, you stunning creature! Mornings are difficult for most, but not for you. You love hitting the treadmill at 5 a.m. and petting tiny fawns in dew-covered meadows at the first sign of daybreak. SYKE! Mornings suck. But we’ve got you...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99 $2.00

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints left over when we made our other mints! These mints are...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money and...

My Favorite Salad Is Wine Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Fruit Flavored Awesomeness That Won't Get You Drunk You say tomato, we say wine.  With our My Favorite Salad Is Wine Gum you can just lay it all out on the lunch table.  Because, we don't carrot all what you think, unless you agree...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

My Goal Is To Lose Ten Pounds, Fifteen More To Go Gum

$1.99

Candy Mint Flavor To Inspire Us All To Smell The RosesSouth Beach Diet, Atkins, Shakeology... in all honesty we're most comfortable sticking with a strict see-food diet, donut you know? Losing weight is an uphill battle and our My Goal Is To Lose Ten...

You Are Better Than The Best Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum That's Great For Narcissistic Bosses Because They're The BesssssstYou're the best around!  Nothing's gonna ever keep you down! No really, you are.  No, YOU are.  Okay, let's just agree to disagree. What we can agree on is...

Red Haute Sticky Fingers Nail Files

$2.99

Don't leave the with house without packing some faux-cinnamony sweet heat with our pack of Red Haute Sticky Fingers Nail Files!  They're are a must for your portable beauty arsenal.  Because you never know when you may come dangerously close to...

My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum

$1.99

Whatever, Karen. Our snarky My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum is the perfectly absurd rebuttal for when you're too deep into your own (Netflix) marathon training and simply too chill to care.  If you're like us, you're exhausted from sight...

Cute But Psycho. But Cute. Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For The UnpredictableSometimes, just sometimes... being perpetually cute comes with a price and our Cute But Psycho But Cute Gum pretty much sums it up perfectly, in the cutest way possibly of course. A fun cautionary gift for when it's...

I Want To Go On Eternity Leave Gum

$1.99

Candy For Times When You Need A Neverending VacationThere are palm trees, beach umbrellas, perfectly-sweetened margaritas and no hangovers... I'm never coming back.  Please hold my calls.  Forever. That settles it, we're sold on our I Want To...

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

$8.99

Top Unicorn Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts  |  Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart.  |  We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect gift for the lovers, the dreamers and you!  It's not an illusion... we've...

Classic Superman Mints

$2.99 $2.00

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... our Classic Superman Mints are so strong!  It's like Kryptonite to your ole buddy Hal-itosis. Although the classic image of Superman is...

Classic Batman Mints

$2.99

Na-Na Na-Na Na-Na Na Na... No way!  Not with that stinky breath!  Holy Halitosis Batman! Fishy penguin breath got you down?  Have no fear!  Our Classic Batman Mints have arrived to battle the evil lurking in your mouth! ...

Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum

$1.99

Just once piece of our Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum unlocks the dialogue between you and your pet!  You'll finally be able to share your intimate dreams and fears, stock tips, recipes and who you think should be kicked off Big Brother next! For...

Hormonal And Lovin' It Gum

$1.99

Do you ever start your period and think... "Well, that explains a lot!"?  Then this gum is for you! Our ultra cheeky Hormonal And Loving It Gum is a fun (and safe) way to poke fun at the roller coaster of mood swings that women are blessed with!...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go GettersYou are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum

$1.99

Introducing, our Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum. Since you were a child, everyone's always told you to always be yourself.  This is great advice and should always be worn on your sleeve... unless you can be a unicorn. Be sure to...

Cupcake Gumballs

$4.99 $2.00

Our Cupcake Gumballs are mighty tasty on their own, but for a true sugar fix try adding some into the batter of your next batch of cupcakes to make Double Frosting Gumball Cupcakes!  Each  tin contains about twenty-two vanilla flavored...

Gay Accent Breath Spray

$5.99

Instant Faboulous!Our patented Extreme Voice Enhancing formula instantly puts the sizzle in your s's.   Its an exquisite breathmist for the discerning mouth and perfumed with a touch of mint. Scientifically engineered with a touch of class. ...

Mexican Chocolate Sugar

$11.99

We have the Aztecs to thank for this one! Our Mexican Chocolate Sugar is about to turn your kitchen into a fiesta, and your coffee into a masterpiece! This amazing concoction consists of: Organic Brazilian Cane Sugar, Orange Cacao, Chili, Cinnamon,...

Cupcake Mints

$3.99

No Bake Cupcake Candy MintsLets' be honest... what's the best thing about a cupcake?   The frosting!   The cake is only used as a medium to get the frosting into your mouth! These icing flavored mints are so freakin' good you'll wish had even...

I Should Be A Better Person Gum

$1.99

You Know Who You Are!Our straight shooting and unapologetic, I Should Be A Better Person But I'm Not, gum says it all.   Sure, you may be able to give great advice from all of the life lessons you learned, and self help books you've read. But apply...

Unless You Fell Off The Treadmill Gum

$1.99

Cleverly attack over-sharing Our Unless You Fell Off The Treadmill Gum is the best way to break it to your overactive, overachieving friends that you've heard enough. In this day and age of social networking, over-sharing is a common occurrence...

Step Aside Coffee Gum

$1.99

Coffee... We love you.  You're so cute sometimes!  Now step aside, it's time to bring in the big guns! We have a lot of experience... We've been at this for a long time. And we know what we need to succeed. Booze, and lots of it.  But only...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

I Have PMS & GPS Gum

$1.99

This Bitch Will Find You Gum Take next right.  IN YOUR FACE!   That's right sunshine.  You're barking up the wrong tree and at the wrong time of the month.  We guarantee that you will not want to be on the receiving end of our I...

I Kissed A Republican / Democrat Gum

$1.99

Partisan Political Puking Gum Did you kiss a donkey last night or perhaps your lips locked with an elephant?  With our I Kissed A Republican or I Kissed A Democrat Gum, you can always be prepared for any accidental smooches that may happen due to...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

I Hope Eye Rolling Counts As Cardio Gum

$1.99

Our hilarious I Hope Eye-Rolling Counts as Cardio Gum, is the perfect gift for the well intentioned gym dodger in your life!   Not everyone has time for Prancercising, Sweating to the Oldies, or taking it to the treadmill! Whether you're too busy...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

Coffee Makes Me Poop Gum

$1.99

Be sure to over share. A cup of coffee and a roll of toilet paper... a perfectly fine way to start the day! Popping a piece of our invigorating Coffee Makes Me Poop Gum is like brewing up a pot of relief!  You may not be irregular around here, so...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

Could You Be A Bigger Bitch? Gum

$1.99

Chew On This Gum Bitch Seriously.   I really do hate you.   Could you be a bigger bitch? There's no denying it... eight straight to the point pieces will proclaim just who is the bigger bitch.   Guess what... you win again! Fruit...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth PleaseSeriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Lunch Money Coin Purse

$3.99

Milk Money Stash BagOur kitschy Lunch Money Coin Purse is small enough to fit in your pocket, or your smallest clutch. But, it's also big enough to hold your license, credit card, and milk money!   With the adorable milk carton, apple, banana, and...

Elf On The Shelf Hanging Candy Tin

$3.99 $1.00

This little elf has a cheeky grin outside and sweet vanilla snowflake candies inside! The attached cord lets you display The Elf on the Shelf as an ornament or as a clever present topper!    Based on the 2005 children's book, The Elf on the...

Sigmund Freud Candy Book

$5.99

Tell Us More About Your Mother's CandySo... do you think your mom would like this candy?  Instead of containing the world-changing insights and observations of Sigmund Freud, our tiny Sigmund Freud Candy Book is full of banana-flavored candy...

Instantly Control Your Family Breath Spray

$5.99

It's not that you don't love them.  It's just that if they did what you wanted, maybe you'd love them a little bit more.  Our Instantly Control Your Family Breath Spray is so strong it works on extended family!   Instantly control your...

Feel Incredibly High Instantly Breath Spray

$4.98

Introducing our Feel Incredibly High Instantly Breath Spray... Liquid Marijuana*.  Your very own Buzz in a Bottle! Catch the perfect buzz without catching the heat!  Get high at work, in class, even at the pool! So discreet you can use it...

Talk With Your Cat Breath Spray

$5.99

After years of testing by NASA, the anxiously awaited and groundbreaking Instantly Talk with Your Cat Breath Spray has finally been made available to the public.   Never before has the world seen a more useful product. Never. Just one quick spritz...