Candy

Looking for some tasty treats to stuff your face with?  Check out our collection of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and more aimed to satisfy nearly every sugary sweet, or sinfully salty craving under the sun!  You'll find super yummy gift ideas too if you're willing to part with them!

At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

$1.99

Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in a committed long-term relationship with our surrogate beds. Listen, when a couch hands you a compliment,...

Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum

$1.99

Just once piece of our Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum unlocks the dialogue between you and your pet!  You'll finally be able to share your intimate dreams and fears, stock tips, recipes and who you think should be kicked off Big Brother next! For...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

Talk With Your Cat Breath Spray

$5.99

After years of testing by NASA, the anxiously awaited and groundbreaking Instantly Talk with Your Cat Breath Spray has finally been made available to the public.   Never before has the world seen a more useful product. Never. Just one quick spritz...

Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum

$1.99

Introducing, our Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum. Since you were a child, everyone's always told you to always be yourself.  This is great advice and should always be worn on your sleeve... unless you can be a unicorn. Be sure to...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Mister Rogers' Encouragements

$3.49

Won't you, please?  Please, won't you, please?  Please, have one or two Mister Rogers' Encouragemints!! Whether you're changing into your suit or your cardigan - whether you're coming home or going out into the neighborhood, you'll have more...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Astronaut Strawberries

$3.99

Intergalactic Mission Snack! Our Astronaut Strawberries are an out of this world gastronomical experience! Enjoy your strawberries just as the astronauts do - the freeze-dried way! Astronaut Strawberries, as well as other freeze-drive food items, have...

Cream-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

They're the cream of the crop! A dream-cicle come true, our Cream-Pop Lollipops are designed to look like classic ice-cream pops! They come on a thick wooden pop-sicle stick in six different exciting color and flavor combinations! Strawberry/Vanilla...

I'm Not Emotionally Dead, But It Sounds Amazing Gum

$1.99

Emotionally exhausted from being dragged by the drama llama? Our I'm Not Emotionally Dead, But It Sounds Amazing Gum was made for you. You know what they say: the grass is always greener on the other side of the emotionally-dead fence! Ahhh. Wouldn't it...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the butter hungry monster living inside, while teasing it with...

Look! I'm Wearing The Smile You Gave Me Gum

$1.99

Everyone Will Whaley Love This CandyWhale, hello there! We noticed our Look! I'm Wearing The Smile You Gave Me Gum has gotten your attention with it's perpetu-whale grin! Will you take this whale to be your very best friend? Pretty please, with some...

Narcissist Mints

$3.99

It's all about you and your breath You’re so vain, you probably think these mints are about you, don’t you? Now your favorite narcissist can have fresh breath while he admires himself in the mirror and explains why you’re wrong!...

Candy Taco

$7.99

Taco bout a clever candy! Our Candy Taco is just the sugary sustenance a taco lover with a sweet tooth needs on the go! Move over Choco-Taco, there's a sweeter less meltier version in town! (but don't go too far, we do love you! we just need a break)...

CBD Gummy Peach Rings

$24.99

These cannabidiol edibles will leave you feeling just peachy! It's no coincidence our CBD Gummy Peach Rings are shaped like tiny life savers, for they truly are! These tasty little treats pack a substantial punch with 25mg of CBD per piece. If...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lollipop

$5.99 $2.89

Psst... We've got the inside scoop Our Giant Dipped Ice Cream Cone is eye candy that's real candy! These gorgeous and colorful ice cream shaped lollipops that have been handmade and dipped in a flavored hard candy (crafted from a secret 75 year old...

Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.59

Not Gonna Melt! Our fascinating Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich is a tasty snack that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re out exploring the galaxy or hanging back here on Earth! Frozen in time, yet not frozen in temperature, it takes the ice...

Motherf*cker Better Card Me Gum

$1.99

Of course, yes, I do have my license! So I've see your little sign that says you card under 45.  You can't even imagine what I will do to you if you don't card me! Forever ago... We took a friend's mom out to lunch at a beach bar for her 50th...

Unless You Fell Off The Treadmill Gum

$1.99

Cleverly attack over-sharing Our Unless You Fell Off The Treadmill Gum is the best way to break it to your overactive, overachieving friends that you've heard enough. In this day and age of social networking, over-sharing is a common occurrence...

Trump Impeachmints

$3.49

Without any evidence, this is the best the left can do! Our totally offensive Trump Impeachmints are for bad hombres with bad breath, and worse vocabulary. Do you bad-mouth people? Drop one of these peach flavored mints on your tongue and you'll make...

Sign Up For The Latest Coupons, Product Launches + Secret Sales