Candy

Looking for some tasty treats to stuff your face with?  Check out our collection of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and more aimed to satisfy nearly every sugary sweet, or sinfully salty craving under the sun!  You'll find super yummy gift ideas too if you're willing to part with them!

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum Sometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum on you at all times!  You never know when a...

I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby Gum

$1.99

You got a problem with that? I'm not embarrassed,  I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby For Some Weason... My fur baby, my soulmate, the love of my life! You're sho shmarth Whath did you do thoday? Ready for beddy bye? Did you mishsh...

Glitter Swirl Slime Lollipop

$3.99

You've been slimed! Our colorful Glitter Swirl Slime Lollipop is delicious, sparkly, gross out fun candy treat! Whether your love of slime originated with You Can't Do That On Television or Ghostbusters, we don't know (gah! we've been slimed!) But what...

Super-Size Ball Swirl Lollipop

$6.99

You'd better ball-lieve it, sweetness! Our bright and colorful Super-Size Ball Swirl Lollipops are only for the truly dedicated sweet tooth. At its size it's probably going to take you more than one sitting! Impressive 2 inches in diameter = long...

Sugar Bear Lollipop

$3.99

Oh, I'm a Sugar BearYeah, I'm a Sugar Bear Our handmade, happy-go-lucky Sugar Bear Lollipops are hard candy doppelgangers of the original gummy bears! They're it on a stick!  Available in a rainbow of colors and flavors! Red (cherry) Orange...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

$8.99

Top Unicorn Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts  |  Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart.  |  We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect gift for the lovers, the dreamers and you!  It's not an illusion... we've...

Go Away I'm Introverting Gum

$1.99

Make that a nope for me. Our straight-to-the-point Go Away I'm Introverting Gum is just what you need on you in case of a social annoyance crisis. Don't even bother making eye contact or parting your lips. Just be friendly by offering them a piece of...

Legendary Unicorn Mints

$3.99

Believe in fresh breath! Our frolicking awesome Legendary Unicorn Mints are an example of all that is right with the world. Or at least the fantasy world inside of your head! Chances are, if you love unicorns as much as we do (which may just be...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Hey Bitches Gum

$1.99

Bitches + Kittens When you whip out your pack of Hey Bitches Gum, you'd better be ready to toss back a box of Pino Grigio! You are calling the pack - your gang of girls together. Will it be a tears and ice cream night or a go out and (no survivors)...

Craft Beer Lollipop

$4.99

Revolutionize the way you party down with our Craft Beer Lollipops that are shaped like craft beer bottles and available in three crafted flavors. What better flavors of custom beer than pale ale, classic lager and chocolate stout for these hand-poured...

Bacon Lover's Lollipop Gift Set

$12.49

Breakfast Candy of ChampionsAttention all bacon lovers!!  We have found your new favorite bacon item.  Our Bacon Lover Lollipop Gift Set has maple, honey and barbeque flavored savory-sweet lollipops!  The sensation you will get from this...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs to use Cat Astronaut Mints before and during all of...

Fudge-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

Oh, Fudge!  We feel like a kid in a candy shop! Our eye catching Fudge-Pop Lollipops are available in 6 different color/flavor combinations... How will we ever decide!? Strawberry/Chocolate (Pink & Brown) Vanilla/Chocolate (White & Brown)...

CBD Gummy Blueberry Rings

$24.99

CBD edibles shaped as tiny life savers - coincidence? We think naut! Our CBD Gummy Blueberry Rings are here to come to the rescue! These tasty little hemp oil candies pack a substantial punch with 25mg of CBD per piece. Don't know what CBD is? Allow us...

I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum

$1.99

Feeling all philo-sloth-ical and stuff Good times are a plenty with our I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum.  Embrace the lazy but amazy attitude of everyone's favorite slow roller. Word on the street is that you're looking to score some peppermint...

You're Kind Of A Dick Gum

$1.99

For that Dick in your life - and we ain't talkin' about Richard   Our vintage styled You're Kind of a Dick Gum is a fun an unexpected gift you can slip to any prick you may happen upon during your day.   Can't think of anyone deserving of such...

Cute But Psycho. But Cute. Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For The UnpredictableSometimes, just sometimes... being perpetually cute comes with a price and our Cute But Psycho But Cute Gum pretty much sums it up perfectly, in the cutest way possibly of course. A fun cautionary gift for when it's...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

$3.49

With our Bob Ross Happy Little Mints, The Joy of Painting and fresh breath are now within reach! Talk to the tree, make friends with it. People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different. Enjoy the...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints left over when we made our other mints! These mints are...

Get Along With Your Co-Workers Gum

$1.99

Your Job Doesn't Suck, Just Your Co-Workers The reality in the majority of people's lives is that they have to get a job to survive. Unfortunately you get stuck working alongside people you might not otherwise frequent in the free world! To make your...

Let That Shit Go Gum

$1.99

Take two deep breaths and call me in the morning. Our thought-provoking and breath freshening Let That Shit Go Gum features the Medicine Buddha encouraging you to move on bruh. Seriously. It was like 4 years ago and it wasn't even that big of a deal...

Barf Lollipop

$3.99

Like, Gag Me With A Lollipop The ultimate gag gift... our Barf Lollipop is a deliciously fun way to share your utter disgust at a situation or person, or to just gross out the person you're closest with... just because you can. To up the puke factor this...

Cat Butt Gum

$1.99

Cute As A Butt-on Gum If you've got a lot of attitude to pass around, this gum is just right for you! Includes 8 peppermint pieces of "Kiss My Ass" attitude per box. Get a second box because you've got a lot of attitude to share. Meow! What are you...

Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a yummy retro treat! Since the early NASA Mercury Missions, space food has gone global! Today, Astronaut...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

Last Supper After Dinner Mints

$3.99

Are the flavors of your last supper lingering too long?   Our Last Supper After Dinner Mints are decorated with a painting of the Biblical Last Supper featuring Jesus and his Apostles.    Chew a few after your own supper (or breakfast, or...

Procrastinate Like There Is A Tomorrow Gum

$1.99

Dance like everyone is watching! Our deliciously cheeky Procrastinate Like There Is A Tomorrow Gum is a fun little gift punctuated with minty flavor and biting humor! Behold a cool and minty present with a message that is sure to strike a chord with your...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money and...

I Have PMS & GPS Gum

$1.99

This Bitch Will Find You Gum Take next right.  IN YOUR FACE!   That's right sunshine.  You're barking up the wrong tree and at the wrong time of the month.  We guarantee that you will not want to be on the receiving end of our I...

CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

Keep Calm and Munch On Yummy CBD Gummies Introducing our mega-huge CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg!  Personally, we eat our CBD gummy bears two at at time. So they don't have to die alone.  We're thoughtful like that. CBD Gummy...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

Bag of Dog Farts

$8.99

It's safe to blame the dog on this fart, our Bag of Dog Farts. Descended from the mighty wolf, when things get RUUUFFF, the loyal dog is there by your side. With a quick wag of their tale and a slobbery kiss, dogs will do anything to help brighten your...

Dissent Mints

$3.99

Against the grain with freshness! These Dissent Mints feature Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wearing her dissent collar. When she doesn't agree with the rest of the court, she has a special jabot (ornamental frill) she wears. These mints...

Sour-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

Pucker up buttercup! Our bright and colorful Sour-Pop Lollipops are handmade in the USA and available in 3 tempting flavors and color combinations: Sour Watermelon (pink & green) Sour Wildberry (purple & blue) Sour Pink Lemonade (yellow...

It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum

$1.99

Makes sense to us! Our thought provoking, It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum really gave us something to chew on! Meow, we've always really admired one's ability to argue a point. Those crazy cat ladies are really onto something! This...

Overthinkers Gum

$1.99

Still thinking about this... I'm just not sure what to write about our Overthinkers Gum.  I guess I could maybe talk about why you would want one.  Or maybe I should run some numbers to see if this is the perfect gum for you, or if maybe...

Best Buds Mint Gum

$1.99

Guaranteed Good Shit To Share With A Cannabis Loving Buddy The rumors are true... our gum has gone to pot! Our Best Buds Gum has been made with a very special, mind-altering ingredient. It's called LOVE. Looking for CBD Infused Edibles and...

Mansplaining Mints

$4.69

Ladies, when it comes to our Mansplaining Mints, something tells us we don't have to tell you what these are for. But, humor us, if you will... The next time some random dude starts explaining something to you in a condescending tone, just offer him one...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

Hit Reply All One More Time I Swear To God Gum

$1.99

Just no! Step away from the mouse! You don't seem to get the hint we've been dropping for years  We're not interested in what you think! We've seen the jokes, most beautiful pictures of national parks, fake news, this year's flu warning and formed...

CBD Gummy Apple Rings

$24.99

An apple a day keeps the stress away! *If that apple is a CBD edible that is!* Don’t be fooled by their innocent appearance! Our potent CBD Gummy Apple Rings may ring of nostalgia, but these candies contain approximately 25mg of CBD per...

Dinosaur Poop Lollipop

$4.99

You saur it here first! There's no bones about it, our Dinosaur Poop Lollipops are mammoth hit with dino lovers!  Melville Candy dinosaur poop lollipops are a fun unique sweet treat Hard candy green and blue swirl lollipops Coated with glittery...

Booger Lollipop

$2.99

You Can Pick Your Candy And Eat It Too We had to dig deep in the recesses of our brain for this one... but we just nose we picked the perfect gift for your sugar booger this Valentine's Day! Our sour-apple flavored Booger Lollipop is a deliciously fun...

CBD Gummy Worms

$24.99

CBD is legal in all 50 states, y'all! Why settle for vaping or salves when our CBD Gummy Worms are just like the ones you remember from your childhood! These squirmy little wormies taste, look, smell, and feel the same. The only difference is that they...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

Ginsburg's Judgmints

$3.49

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons desiring breath that is Honorable are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for these Ginsburg's Judgmints are Supreme! Keep one under your robe and a spare in your chambers. Taste like justice Bite of dissent...

Spicy Chili Pepper Lollipop

$4.99

Are you a sucker for spicy food?  Lovers of spicy food will just eat up our handmade Spicy Chili Pepper Lollipops! Each one of these chili-pepper-shaped hard candy pops is infused with real chili pepper bits, and pack a heat that can't be beat!...

Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box

$4.99

Candy bento box! It's soy cute! Our Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box comes with 9 pieces of candy modeled after sushi rolls and garnishings, arranged in a plastic bento box style tray! 2 Candy Nigiri (marshmallow topped with a gummy fish) 2...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

Rubber Chicken Mints

$3.99

  Halitosis humor! Our Rubber Chicken Mints is hilarious, but the mints don’t taste funny, they’re mint-flavored. You’re guaranteed a giggle when you offer one to someone! Cute, but cute tin of mints Get a laugh and fresh...

I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum

$1.99

Uh, oh! They've found us out! Our I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum is dropping truth bombs by way of delicious chicklet-sized mint gum! A fun item to have for those moments when you don't have time for humility. If they didn't get the message at...

My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum

$1.99

Whatever, Karen. Our snarky My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum is the perfectly absurd rebuttal for when you're too deep into your own (Netflix) marathon training and simply too chill to care.  If you're like us, you're exhausted from sight of...

I Hate You Just Kidding Gum

$1.99

Do you think I'm kidding? Yeah, yeah... wasting time hating someone is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die... or something insightful like that.   This could be fun gum to give your friend if you guys share an inside...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For Guys With Built In GPS Our refreshingly crass I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Stop the car! I'm getting out... a piece of gum to cut this tension with some much needed laughter. Fragile...

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