Candy

Looking for some tasty treats to stuff your face with?  Check out our collection of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and more aimed to satisfy nearly every sugary sweet, or sinfully salty craving under the sun!  You'll find super yummy gift ideas too if you're willing to part with them!

Glitter Swirl Slime Lollipop

$3.99

You've been slimed! Our colorful Glitter Swirl Slime Lollipop is delicious, sparkly, gross out fun candy treat! Whether your love of slime originated with You Can't Do That On Television or Ghostbusters, we don't know (gah! we've been slimed!) But what...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lollipop

$7.99

Psst... We've got the inside scoop Our Giant Dipped Ice Cream Cone is eye candy that's real candy! These gorgeous and colorful ice cream shaped lollipops that have been handmade and dipped in a flavored hard candy (crafted from a secret 75 year old...

Unicorn Sparkle Poop Lollipop

$4.99

Unicorns - their poop don't stink Don't go poo poo-ing the idea of our gifting our Unicorn Sparkle Poop Lollipop! Unicorn poop lovers will enjoy eating this poo emoji shaped gourmet candy! Pink & blue swirl Fruit punch flavored hard candy...

Galaxy Lollipop

$4.99

A lollipop light years ahead of its time Our spectacular handmade Galaxy Lollipops are flat out the sweetest gift this side of the Milky Way. Hand-poured and swirled purple + black circular lollipop Embedded with glitter and adorned with silver star...

Cream-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

They're the cream of the crop! A dream-cicle come true, our Cream-Pop Lollipops are designed to look like classic ice-cream pops! They come on a thick wooden pop-sicle stick in six different exciting color and flavor combinations! Strawberry/Vanilla...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Body Part Lollipop

$2.49 $2.05

Our super creepy Body Part Halloween Lollipop are the pefect aaddition to any zombie buffet! With Human Hearts, Witch Fingers, Eyeballs and Brains they're the perfect trick AND treat for Halloween!  Bloodshot Eyeball- Cotton Candy Flavored...

Krampus Candy Canes

$5.99

Merry Krampus from the Anti-Claus Our wicked good Krampus Candy Canes are a hella fun gift for those on your naughty list!  Set of 6 red & black standard size candy canes Taste like brimstone and fire Threaten kids into good...

I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum

$1.99

Uh, oh! They've found us out! Our I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum is dropping truth bombs by way of delicious chicklet-sized mint gum! A fun item to have for those moments when you don't have time for humility. If they didn't get the message at...

Look! I'm Wearing The Smile You Gave Me Gum

$1.99

Everyone Will Whaley Love This CandyWhale, hello there! We noticed our Look! I'm Wearing The Smile You Gave Me Gum has gotten your attention with it's perpetu-whale grin! Will you take this whale to be your very best friend? Pretty please, with some...

Bag of Unicorn Toots

$8.99

Our magical Bag of Unicorn Toots has just arrived from The Enchanted Land of Unicorntopia via a rainbow slide from the sky! Perhaps you have not heard of this delicacy? Unicorn Toots Cotton Candy Puffs come from the happiest city in the sky. The...

National Embarrassmints

$2.99

Trump your bad breath with a mint! Our Donald Trump National Embarrassmints are pretty darn puny don't ya think?  We hope these mints don't offend you!  We had some Hillary ones too, but they were just picked up by black van full of...

Trump Impeachmints

$2.99

Without any evidence, this is the best the left can do! Our totally offensive Trump Impeachmints are for bad hombres with bad breath, and worse vocabulary. Do you bad-mouth people? Drop one of these peach flavored mints on your tongue and you'll make...

Legendary Unicorn Mints

$3.99 $3.25

Our frolicking awesome Legendary Unicorn Mints are an example of all that is right with the world. Or at least the fantasy world inside of your head!   Chances are, if you love unicorns as much as we do (which may just be impossible) simply...

I'm Not Emotionally Dead, But It Sounds Amazing Gum

$1.99

Emotionally exhausted from being dragged by the drama llama? Our I'm Not Emotionally Dead, But It Sounds Amazing Gum was made for you. You know what they say: the grass is always greener on the other side of the emotionally-dead fence! Ahhh. Wouldn't it...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The CircleOur Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum

$1.99

Our thought provoking, It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum really gave us something to chew on! Meow, we've always really admired one's ability to argue a point. Those crazy cat ladies are really onto something! This gum is the purrfect...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Instant Rhythm Gum

$1.99 $1.55

Give Dad A Piece Of This Gum Next Time He's Driving And Playing Steering Wheel Drums To The Radio Do you know someone that can't dance? Our Instant Rhythm Gum for Awkward dancers works in a snap! Directions for Use: At the first sound of music,...