Holy Crap! You're Old! But Hey, You're Still Alive Birthday Card
Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $49. $5.95 on orders under $49. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.
Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.
International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.
Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.
We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $49 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $49 ship to the contiguous United States for $5.99 (more information)
Time To Ship
APO + FPO Addresses
We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.
Alaska + Hawaii
We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.
Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.
60 Day Returns
Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!
If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)
Payment Methods + Secure Checkout
No need to re-enter your information! Check out quickly and safely with Apple Pay, Paypal, Amazon Pay, Meta, G Pay or Shop payment or your prefered credit card.
Send them rolling over the hill in laughter (just careful they don't break a hip!)
While they may be accustomed to Next-Day Pony Express, our farm-fresh Holy Crap! You're Old! Birthday Card, can be sent the old (but not that old) fashioned way.
- Holy Crap! You're Old! Birthday Card
- Front: Features a vintage photo of an old man sizing you up, wearing denim overalls with a button-down shirt, and his hands positioned on his hips exclaiming, "Holy Crap! You're Old! But Hey... You're Still Alive! Happy Birthday!
- Inside of Card: Blank for a personalized message. Printed on quality paper as they did in the olden days.
- Paired with some kinda highfalutin shimmery copper envelope
- Forest friendly and printed with vibrant soy-based inks
- Made in the USA!
Includes one A2 size folded card, printed on premium 100lb paper. Measures 4.25 inches wide x 5.5 inches tall. Don't laugh too hard, for our Holy Crap You're Old Birthday Card is coming for you next!