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Funny Birthday Cards

Shop our collection of funny birthday cards! You'll find an eclectic mix of witty and clever birthday greetings, hand-picked and curated from our fav small businesses that share our twisted sense of humor. If they didn't make us laugh out loud, they didn't make the cut. And while these quirky birthday cards are a gift in themselves, they're also the icing on the cake for an epic birthday present.

Birthday Cards

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    Giving No F*cks Decree Birthday Card

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    Fearless frontrunner of unfazed fortitude! Our whimsical Decree Giving No Fucks Foil Birthday Card helps the clock chime the anniversary of existen...

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    T-Rex Ancient AF Birthday Card

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    Party like there's no tomorrow Goodness cretaceous, great balls of fire! Our T-Rex Ancient AF Birthday Card sure knows how to party. But let's make...

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    Crazy Plant Lady Birthday Card

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    Thistle help make it the best birthday ever. So fresh and so green, green... our Crazy Plant Lady Birthday Card is an unbelievably fun way to say “...

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    I Hope Your Chin Hairs Don't Grow Back Birthday Card

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    So Baaaaaaa'd it's good! 🎂🐐 Don't goat there? Oh, we went there. Wish your bestie a happy plucking birthday with this hilarious greeting. A fun way...

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    80's Pop Music Happy Birthday Card

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    Like, have a rad birthday! This choice 80's Pop Music Happy Birthday Card is an awesome way to celebrate a top-of-the-charts birthday with some of ...

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    You Are Such A B*tch! You Don't Look A Day Older Birthday Card

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    Happy Birthday! You look amazing... So if you could just let me know your secret, or your plastic surgeon's business card that would be great! You ...

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    Succession Cheers To Your Birthday Card

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    This message is approved by Waystar Royco Our Succession Cheers To Your Birthday Card truly rules the corporate world of birthday wishes starring n...

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    You're How Old? Bitch Please Birthday Card

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    Another birthday? You've got to be kitten! When it just doesn't seem paw-sible, our You're How Old? Bitch Please Card will purrfectly deliver your ...

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    I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies Birthday Card

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    Get me my glasses and an ibuprofen... I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies... Getting older is actually pretty cool with all of the l...

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    Happy Birthday And All That Jazz! Card

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    For all the cool hepcats out there Our offbeat Happy Birthday and All That Jazz! Greeting Card, will be music to your eyeballs if you're a fan of j...

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    You Will Receive Many Birthday Texts Birthday Card

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    Enjoy the texts, but cherish the cards Everyone has to brace themselves for the tidal waves of birthday texts that'll flood a phone faster than a c...

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    Congrats On Not Being Dead Yet Birthday Card

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    Cheer up! You're not dead yet. Let's celebrate another year of escaping death with our Congrats On Not Being Dead Yet Birthday Card. Another year w...

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    Your Cat Has Too Much Power Over You Birthday Card

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    You let your cat get away with murder... 😼 Us, too, so no judgment here! We have fallen victim to being immobile for uncomfortable periods of time,...

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    Birthday Greetings, May These Crystal Heal The Shit Out Of You

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    Is that damn Mercury in retograde again? Birthday Greetings, May These Crystal Heal The Shit Out Of You! A few rose quartz, a good helping of turqu...

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    You Get A Card! Oprah Happy Birthday Card

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    Happy Birthday, you get a card! You get a card! You get a card! Welcome to the "You Get a Card" birthday bonanza with our Oprah Happy Birthday Card...

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    Don't Exert Yourself Too Much. I Know You Don't Like Sweating Birthday Card

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    Floats like a butterfly and stings like a son of a bee! 🦋🐝 Beautifully illustrated with a kaleidoscope of butterflies and inspirational words adorn...

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    Sarcastic Mascara Injury Birthday Card

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    Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's.. ow that frickin' hurt! 🫣 Ahhh.. the joys of getting older! Our hilarious Mascara Injury Birthday Card is a f...

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    That is Some Dark Ass Shit Piñata Birthday Card

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    Now we feel like a jackass. We didn't realize there was going to be a donkey at this party! Awkward. Our disturbingly hilarious That is Some Dark A...

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    Oh Sh*t! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card

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    My love of food stopped me from going pro! Give your friend this humorous Oh Shit! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card featuring a woma...

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    Going To Bed At 9PM Birthday Card

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    Age is just a number, right? Our Going To Bed At 9PM Birthday Card is a great card to give someone that used to party but in recent years is maybe ...

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    Retro 1980's Windsuit Wsssh! Birthday Card

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    Have a nice, nice birthday Stop collaborate and listen, our Windsuit Birthday Wsssh! Greeting Card is here, and it's our latest addition (of corny ...

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    Trouble Making Teenagers Old Age Birthday Card

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    Those pesky teenagers are up to no good! 👴👵 Welcome family and friends over the hill and onto your front porch to yell at neighborhood kids in your...

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    Good News You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card

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    I'm actually feeling much better This delightful and macabre Good News, You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card is reminding us to always look at the bri...

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    Cringy Wine Lover's Birthday Card

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    Chardon-hey girl, hey! 💁‍♀️🍷 Aren't birthdays just grape?! While not all of us age like fine wine or appreciate the finest puns, that's okay. We ca...

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