Skip to content
🎅 $25 Off + No Sales Tax + Free Shipping!
🎅 $25 Off + No Sales Tax + Free Shipping!

Birthday Cards + Gifts

So, don't be the party pooper who brings another boring gift or a generic greeting card. Join the laughter revolution at Perpetual Kid, where birthdays are hilarious... no mater how many you've had! Viewer discretion is advised... we're not responsible for sore bellies due to excessive laughing! 😂🎉
  • Original price $2.29 - Original price $2.29
    Original price
    $2.29
    $2.29 - $2.29
    Current price $2.29

    Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

    In stock

    The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift g...

    View full details
    Original price $2.29 - Original price $2.29
    Original price
    $2.29
    $2.29 - $2.29
    Current price $2.29
  • Original price $3.95 - Original price $3.95
    Original price
    $3.95
    $3.95 - $3.95
    Current price $3.95

    Happy Birthday! Party Time Retro Scratch 'n Sniff Stinky Stickers

    In stock

    Happy Birthday! Scratch 'n Sniff Stinky Stickers Celebrate in style with Happy Birthday! Party Time Retro Scratch 'n Sniff Stinky Stickers. These s...

    View full details
    Original price $3.95 - Original price $3.95
    Original price
    $3.95
    $3.95 - $3.95
    Current price $3.95
  • Original price $14.99 - Original price $14.99
    Original price
    $14.99
    $14.99 - $14.99
    Current price $14.99

    Grumpy Old Man Men's Socks

    In stock

    Got a grumpy old man? Like we needed to be told you're grumpy! Your complaining is funny but neverending! Grumpy runs in my family... how about y...

    View full details
    Original price $14.99 - Original price $14.99
    Original price
    $14.99
    $14.99 - $14.99
    Current price $14.99
  • Original price $17.99 - Original price $17.99
    Original price
    $17.99
    $17.99 - $17.99
    Current price $17.99

    God, My Teen Years Must Have Been So Unpleasant For So Many People Socks

    In stock

    Self-reflection is a doozy! đŸȘžđŸ«Ł Looking back on your angst-filled, rebellious teenage years may fill you with cherished memories, cringe, and a heal...

    View full details
    Original price $17.99 - Original price $17.99
    Original price
    $17.99
    $17.99 - $17.99
    Current price $17.99
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies Birthday Card

    In stock

    Get me my glasses and an ibuprofen... I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies... Getting older is actually pretty cool with all of the l...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    You Can Have Your Cake , After All It's Your F*cking Birthday Card

    In stock

    I many even go for seconds... Our You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It Too!!! After All It's Your Fucking Birthday Card perfectly defines that strong ...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    Wow You're Pretty F*cking Old Birthday Card

    In stock

    Welcome to the beginning of the end Send our Wow You're Pretty Fucking Old Birthday Card to laugh and celebrate another year of aging! This works g...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $5.25 - Original price $5.25
    Original price
    $5.25
    $5.25 - $5.25
    Current price $5.25

    Didn't Die This Past Year Happy Birthday Award Ribbon

    In stock

    And the award for "Didn't Die This Past Year" goes to... Whoever you think would get the biggest laugh from our hilariously snarky Happy Birthday A...

    View full details
    Original price $5.25 - Original price $5.25
    Original price
    $5.25
    $5.25 - $5.25
    Current price $5.25
  • Original price $8.99
    Original price $8.99 - Original price $8.99
    Original price $8.99
    Current price $8.09
    $8.09 - $8.09
    Current price $8.09

    Lit! Doobie Birthday Candles

    In stock

    Can weed be blunt about your birthday? Blowing out the candles will never be a drag again! For your next sesh, celebrate in style with our Lit Doob...

    View full details
    Original price $8.99
    Original price $8.99 - Original price $8.99
    Original price $8.99
    Current price $8.09
    $8.09 - $8.09
    Current price $8.09
    Save 10% Save %
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    Blow Out The Candles Before They Singe Our Chin Hairs Birthday Card

    In stock

    Sometimes getting old really blows! The hilarious Blow Out The Candles Before They Singe Our Chin Hairs Off is the perfect birthday card to show yo...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $3.95 - Original price $3.95
    Original price
    $3.95
    $3.95 - $3.95
    Current price $3.95

    Happy Birthday Retro Scratch 'n Sniff Stinky Stickers

    In stock

    We wish you a Happy (1980's style) Birthday! Get a whiff of these smelly Happy Birthday, whipped cream-scented stickers! Scratch 'n Sniff Stinky St...

    View full details
    Original price $3.95 - Original price $3.95
    Original price
    $3.95
    $3.95 - $3.95
    Current price $3.95
  • Original price $6.49 - Original price $6.49
    Original price
    $6.49
    $6.49 - $6.49
    Current price $6.49

    Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

    In stock

    Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a ...

    View full details
    Original price $6.49 - Original price $6.49
    Original price
    $6.49
    $6.49 - $6.49
    Current price $6.49
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    I Hope Your Chin Hairs Don't Grow Back Birthday Card

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    So Baaaaaaa'd it's good! 🎂🐐 Don't goat there? Oh, we went there. Wish your bestie a happy plucking birthday with this hilarious greeting. A fun way...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    Oh Sh*t! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card

    In stock

    My love of food stopped me from going pro! Give your friend this humorous Oh Shit! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card featuring a woma...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    You're Not Old You're Vintage Birthday Card

    In stock

    Who are you calling old? Birthday grrrrrl, you're barking up the wrong tree! Extremely pup-ular amongst dog lovers, our You're Not Old You're Vinta...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $6.49 - Original price $6.49
    Original price
    $6.49
    $6.49 - $6.49
    Current price $6.49

    Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich

    In stock

    Not Gonna Melt! Our fascinating Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich is a tasty snack that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re out exploring the ga...

    View full details
    Original price $6.49 - Original price $6.49
    Original price
    $6.49
    $6.49 - $6.49
    Current price $6.49
  • Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99

    Let's Party Tiki Punch Bowl Celebration Card

    In stock

    Ready to get fish tanked? No accomplishment is o-fish-al until you’ve had a chance to celebrate with cocktails! Better get your drinking flippers o...

    View full details
    Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    Good News You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card

    In stock

    I'm actually feeling much better This delightful and macabre Good News, You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card is reminding us to always look at the bri...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99

    Dolly Happy Birthday Darlin' Card

    In stock

    Polish them boots and get ready for a Dolly-rific birthday blast! Yeehaw! Saddle up, birthday darlin', 'cause this Dolly Happy Birthday Darlin' Car...

    View full details
    Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99
  • Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99

    Dude, You're Weird Unicorn Birthday Card

    In stock

    There’s no reigning you in! ✹🌈🩄✹ If you love it as a compliment when friends call you weird- you’ll identify with this card (and quite possibly a...

    View full details
    Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    Happy Birthday From All The Doggies Card

    In stock

    It's time to raise the woof! đŸ¶đŸŽ‰ Are you looking for a birthday card that speaks to the heart of your favorite dog-loving, anti-people person? Look ...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99

    I Left a Hairball on Your Pillow Cat Birthday Card

    In stock

    The gift your cat thought you kneaded đŸ˜žđŸ€ Celebrating the joys of pet parenthood our Cat Hairball Birthday Greeting offers a gut-wrenching, heartfel...

    View full details
    Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99
  • Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49

    Another Year Closer to Acceptably Wear Crocs Birthday Card

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Holey crap. Crocs are still a thing? The quest to find the birthday card can be treacherous. Shoes wisely! Flip your Crocs into sports mode and ven...

    View full details
    Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
    Original price
    $5.49
    $5.49 - $5.49
    Current price $5.49
  • Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99

    Mister Rogers You Are Special Birthday Card

    In stock

    Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Mister Rogers always had a nice way to say everything and anything! Send a birthday greeting with our Mister ...

    View full details
    Original price $4.99 - Original price $4.99
    Original price
    $4.99
    $4.99 - $4.99
    Current price $4.99