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birthday cards + gifts

So, don't be the party pooper who brings another boring gift or a generic greeting card. Join the laughter revolution at Perpetual Kid, where birthdays are hilarious... no mater how many you've had! Viewer discretion is advised... we're not responsible for sore bellies due to excessive laughing! 😂🎉
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    Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich

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    Not Gonna Melt! Our fascinating Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich is a tasty snack that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re out exploring the ga...

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    Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

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    The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift g...

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    Happy Coming Out Of Your Mom's Vagina Day Birthday Card

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    You probably didn't expect to think about your mom's hoo hoo today! Get ready to inject a dose of wonderfully awkward into your gift-giving game! ...

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    How to Adult Cards

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    100 ways to be a more responsible grown up Do you find "adulting" difficult and consider yourself a bit of a mess? You're in luck! The dreadfully f...

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    Taylor Greatest Era Birthday Card

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    Ushering in the Greatest Era of new memories! Welcome to the ultimate birthday card experience, where we've captured the essence of a Taylor Swift ...

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    Adulthood Pen Set

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    Favorite childhood memory is not paying bills Adulting can be tough sometimes, especially when it side-swipes you. Our Adulthood Pen Set takes a li...

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    Double Chocolate Celebration Cake Kit

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    Looking for a creative way to celebrate across the miles? Our deliciously fun Double Chocolate Celebration Cake Kit is like sending a warm chocolat...

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    Lit! Doobie Birthday Candles

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    Can weed be blunt about your birthday? Blowing out the candles will never be a drag again! For your next sesh, celebrate in style with our Lit Doob...

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    Senior Citizen Bingo Birthday Card

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    Is this what they call music nowadays? As we grow older, the aches and pains start to find their way into our regular lives. The hilarious Senior C...

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    Party For One Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin Candle

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    Celebrate your alone time! Kick back and enjoy the unadulterated awesomeness that is you with our Party For One Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin Candl...

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    Adulting Is Hard Pencil Set

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    Sigh, tell me about it… Don't just scribble... giggle as you doodle with our "Adulting Is Hard" pencil set! Perfect for those who are too old to un...

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    Britney It's Your Birthday Bitch Birthday Card

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    Hit me, baby, one more time! Hey there, birthday diva! Are you ready to get down and groove like it's 1999? Our Britney It's Your Birthday Bitch Bi...

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    Retro Happy Birthday You Little Sh*t Birthday Card

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    Don't be a party pooper! Send our rascally Retro Happy Birthday You Little Shit Birthday Card to your friends and family, and you're guaranteed to ...

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    Didn't Die This Past Year Happy Birthday Award Ribbon

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    And the award for "Didn't Die This Past Year" goes to... Whoever you think would get the biggest laugh from our hilariously snarky Happy Birthday A...

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    Blow Out The Candles Before They Singe Our Chin Hairs Birthday Card

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    Sometimes getting old really blows! The hilarious Blow Out The Candles Before They Singe Our Chin Hairs Off is the perfect birthday card to show yo...

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    Vanilla Cupcake Scented Pen

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    This scented pen really takes the cake! Cupcakes are ALWAYS a GOOD idea! So is having a favorite pen on you! Our yummy Vanilla Cupcake Scented Pen ...

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    OMG! It's Your Birthday Card

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    Divine birthday wishes from upper management! Even Jesus is excited when you send the OMG! It's Your Birthday Card to your friends! What a surprise...

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    That is Some Dark Ass Shit Piñata Birthday Card

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    Now we feel like a jackass. We didn't realize there was going to be a donkey at this party! Awkward. Our disturbingly hilarious That is Some Dark A...

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    I Left a Hairball on Your Pillow Cat Birthday Card

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    The gift your cat thought you kneaded 😸🤍 Celebrating the joys of pet parenthood our Cat Hairball Birthday Greeting offers a gut-wrenching, heartfel...

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    Grumpy Old Man Men's Socks

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Got a grumpy old man? Like we needed to be told you're grumpy! Your complaining is funny but neverending! Grumpy runs in my family... how about y...

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    Dolly Happy Birthday Darlin' Card

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    Polish them boots and get ready for a Dolly-rific birthday blast! Yeehaw! Saddle up, birthday darlin', 'cause this Dolly Happy Birthday Darlin' Car...

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    Adulting Achieved Mug

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    The Ultimate Trophy for Grown-Ups! Attention all adulting champs! 🏆 It's time to pat yourself on the back for conquering those daily grown-up battl...

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    Happy Birthday Taco Card

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    Let's Taco bout your birthday! This spec-taco-lar Happy Birthday Taco Card is perfect for anyone who properly appreciates the taco, or fine dining ...

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    Live Long And Prosper Birthday Card

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    The most logical and fascinating birthday card in the galaxy! Step into the transporter and beam yourself into the vibrant universe of Star Trek fa...

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