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Cool As Sh*t Gifts

What the f*ck else did you think you'd find in our Cool As Sh*t Gifts category? Behold, our amazing hand-picked selection of essential f*cking gifts.  Imagine the cloud of profanity that will spill from your foul-mouthed friend's mouth as they unleash their excitement. Packed with sarcasm and wit, we swear you're going to want one of each for yourself! Sh*t. We guaran-f*cking-tee it... Find cool as sh*t gifts for all of your f*cking friends and family.

F*cking Meetings Candle

$19.99

Smells like this could have been an email... Our angst-poured Fucking Meetings Candle is for anyone that has been called to a meeting that was really about nothing... or at least should've just been a group email regarding the subject. The candle has a...

F*ck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Greatest Day Ever Socks! Our hyper cute and enthusiastically vulgar Fuck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks are offering you perpetual permission to declare any day an anything goes kinda day! How about pizza for lunch?  Would you like another glass of wine?...

Zero Fucks Candle

$19.99

None left to give... hope you enjoyed that last one. Our Zero Fucks Candle is for anyone that is just done with it all. We hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us...

I Almost Died But It Was Just A Cold Men's Socks

$12.99

Thank you for your concern! It was touch and go for awhile... I Almost Died But It Was Just A Cold.   We're not saying men can't handle being sick... but these socks sure are! Call a waaa-mbulance my honey's nose is running! Is this...

F*ck This Sh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Not What I Want To Be Doing Right Now Socks We know, we know... why would a classy, well-dressed lumberjack such as this fella use that ugly, undignified word?  Because sometimes you just need a "Fuck," that's why. Our ruggedly handsome Fuck This...

Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm

$6.99

You'll soon sea that discovering our Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm is nearly as exciting as stumbling across a new mermaid + seahorse pal! We have never really understood the whole strapless bathing suit thing, but this merlady is really rocking the...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$12.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious housewarming or hostess...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money and...

Eat Up, B*tches Woven Dish Towel

$12.99

Serve up some snark with our Eat Up, Bitches Woven Dish Towel! Dish towels are like the socks of the kitchen! So why not add some trash talking and personality to your favorite room in the house? It's the perfect gift, because everyone needs...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

Cute Little F*ckers Woodland Creature Dish Towel

$10.99

I Love Cooking For Those Cute Little Fuckers! Our Cute Little F*ckers Woodland Creature Dish Towel is like the center of a Venn diagram, in which the big circles are Norman Rockwell and Kinda Fucked Up. It's where your idyllic childhood and adulthood...

Kick Today in the Nuts Mug

$11.99

Kick it! A great way to start your day is to drink out of our Kick Today in the Nuts mug! Don't let today beat you and get you down. Our mug is probably... maybe, guaranteed or something, to keep that smile on your face while the day keeps throwing...

B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel

$10.99

BTFU What may be an in-salt to some, our B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel is the perfect gift for the seasoned chef, who uses a heavy dose humor and wit. Featuring a colorful and classic repetitive design, it's reminiscent of our favorite...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Sucky Meetings At Work Statistically speaking, and according to this colorful PowerPoint pie chart based on what's trending, we'd guesstimate that 90% of meetings match the criteria for wearing our amazingly accurate This Meeting Is Bullshit...

Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt

$12.99

Drop it like it's hot. Get ready to cook up some fun with our Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt! Whether you're a Pinterest Mistress or a natural born chef, you'll instantly become smitten with this mitten as it makes presenting your latest...

F*ck Yeah Mug

$11.99

F Yeah! You have opinions, but sometimes you can't say them out loud, but... this mug tells your co-workers (and the whole world) exactly how you feel. It doesn't need to be said this is a Friday mug! Well, Saturday and Sunday would work perfectly as...

Fowl Language Mug

$14.99

Fowl-mouthed fine feathered friends! Some of our feathered friends are positively fowl-mouthed and our amusing Fowl Language Mug features a collection of seemingly innocent birds, all with rather rude names. This is the perfect mug for any bird...

I'm a Delicate F*cking Flower Socks

$10.99

Consider This A Warning Socks Gently nestled among a garden of blooms, the well-rooted message of our profanely dainty I'm A Delicate Fucking Flower Women's Crew Socks will allow you to manure through and flourish in any prickly situation. The cool thing...

This Sh*t Is Bananas Lavatory Mist

$11.99

B-a-n-a-n-a-s! You know things have gone crazy when people are using our This Shit is Bananas Lavatory Mist after a long bathroom visit! Toss one in your purse or leave one in the bathroom, with over 500 applications in each bottle, they're great! How...

Carpe The F*ck Out Of This Diem Socks

$10.99

If there were ever a pair of @ss kicking socks to exist... these are them! Next time you have an important day, throw on our Carpe The F*ck Out Of This Diem Socks to give you the confidence to seize the day, and let em know who's boss!   Like an...

I F*cking Love It Out Here Socks

$10.99

Camping Socks Our I F*cking Love It Out Here Socks will capture the ecstatic f*cking bliss you feel from escaping fluorescent lights and embracing the great outdoors!  Ahhhh, the sights and sounds of communing with nature: birds, bugs, blue skies,...

Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm

$6.99

Our old fashioned, lip-smacking Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm is the best! So why mess with the rest? You might not think an old-fashioned soda fountain would be welcoming to the likes of a positively pink octopus with long luscious lashes. But...

Hi. I Don't Care. Thanks. Socks

$10.99

Really Couldn't Care Less Socks To be honest, our effortlessly cheerful and relentlessly candid Hi, I Don't Care, Thanks Socks simply don't give a damn if like them or not.  But you will. One could say that socks are just like women...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

I Want A F*cking Pizza Dish Towel

$10.99

Your prayers have been answered!  Our I Want A Fucking Pizza Dish Towel has come down from the heavens and manifested itself into your hot little hands. Why settle for some plain dishrag? You deserve an extra cheese supreme masterpiece! Remember to...

Motherf*cking Sweet Guy Men's Socks

$12.99

If you know someone deserving of our Motherf*cking Sweet Guy Men's Socks, count yourself mother f*cking lucky! So often it's the tough guys who end up being the real softies. Likewise, these socks at first glance have a hard exterior, but surprisingly...

Super F*cking Awesome Socks

$10.99

Like Super Duper F*cking Awesome SocksOur Super Fucking Awesome Women's Ankle Socks are, well, super fucking awesome. As they do say so themselves! Know what else is super fucking awesome? You! You were on time to work, your hair looks fab, your...

You Crafty Bitch Socks

$10.99

Great Gift For Those Crafty Bitches! Sew you like crafts, huh? Our hilarious You Crafty Bitch Socks will almost guarantee that your most tedious projects get off on the right foot! We just love her face - determined, focused, a little devilish. She...

You Fancy B*tch Crew Socks

$10.99

Fancy, Floral + Foul Mouthed SocksThese flowers won't hide the flowery language of our You Fancy Bitch Crew Socks for long! Here's a shout out to all the stylish ladies out there whom seem to have their shit together 24/7. Unlike the majority of us whom,...

I Identify As A Badass Ankle Socks

$10.99

Day of firewalking ahead of you?  Our I Identify As A Badass Ankle Socks are just the pair you'll be wanting to pull from your sock drawer in the morning!   These badass ankle socks feature a message to be hidden from plain site...

Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks

$12.99

Signed, Sealed + Delivered SocksProudly label yourself or others with our Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks! Qualifying for certifications can be a nuisance for certain entities - they're often restrictive, cost prohibitive, and sometimes they miss...

Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen Into A Shithole Dish Towel

$10.99

Put your shit in the sink! Dripping with sarcasm and spilled drinks our Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen into a Shithole Dish Towel is not messing around! There's nothing like a delightfully crass kitchen towel to greet your guests, as it proudly...

Ask Your Doctor If Shutting The F*ck Up Is Right For You Gum

$1.99

Take the doctor's advice! Warning: Side effects may include me being way happier than I was before you shut the fuck up.  Includes 8 pieces of candy-coated mint-flavored gum in a dainty box.  Measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches wide. Ask...

Ringmaster Of The Sh*tshow Pencil Case

$5.99

With our amazingly accurate Ringmaster of the Shitshow Pencil Case, you can proudly flash your cringe worthy credentials at the drop of an exasperated *sigh*! You're ringing it, you're slinging it, you're bringing it. And now you've got the bag to match!...

Would Definitely Sh*t Here Again Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A cheeky gift for your favorite afi-shit-ionado our Would Definitely Shit Here Again Lavatory Mist will alert visitors to your impressive bathroom rating, and provide them with some reading material while they take a load off! Or is it pinch a loaf off?...

Ringmaster Of The Shitshow Socks

$10.99

Hear ye!  Hear ye! Our Ringmaster Of The Shitshow Socks are an open invite to witness, front row, the fiasco known as the amazing... the incredible... The Most Dysfunctional Family in the World!  What's that?  You don't want tickets? ...

I Am Going To Get Sh*t Done. Later. Men's Socks

$12.99

We feel you. And our I Am Going To Get Shit Done. Later. Men's Socks will feel you too if you ever get around to buying them. Not that we're judging you, fellow procrastinators! Because it's okay! Sometimes you just need/deserve a sanity break. Watch...

Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel

$10.99

Our deliciously distasteful Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel is just what the cook ordered! We don't need your half-baked ideas. Your pinch of advice, or dash of criticism. Mind your own plate and get out of our site before you become the main...

At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

$1.99

Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in a committed long-term relationship with our surrogate beds. Listen, when a couch hands you a compliment,...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

Sh*tting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You're not seeing things, our Shitting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist actually does exist! And this shit is magic! Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. But unicorns? They eat glitter. And, we don't think we need to tell you...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Coconut Basil Lip Shit

$6.99

Cruelty Free Lip Balm We are giving you a rare opportunity to be a ukulele lady (or gentlemen) and we'll be a monkey's uncle if you don't love our Coconut Basil Lip Shit!  It is made from a beeswax formula and is extremely smooth and easy-to-apply...

F*ck This Sh*t Socks

$10.99

You know exactly who you're going to buy our Fuck This Shit Crew Socks for, don't you? (Besides a pair for yourself, of course!) It's for the sassy, smart someone who doesn't mind lifting up their bottom cuff to show their true colors. And these are damn...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

Queen Of Bitch Mountain Socks

$10.99

Chances are... you know the perfect recipient of our Queen Of Bitch Mountain Socks! Because you're either the Queen or you're a member of the court. You decide. So whether you bestow this gift upon yourself, or present it to your favorite devilish vixen,...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Woman's Socks

$10.99

Should Have Called In Sick For Work Socks Our classy yet sassy This Meeting Is Bullshit Socks are perfect for flashing a little ankle at the next pointless meeting. Because we can damn well guaranteed you'd rather be lounging on the couch with a bowl...

Natural Born Assh*le Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Most Men If he talks like an asshole and looks like an asshole, chances are he is an asshole... and needs our Natural Born Asshole Men's Socks. Now, you may be thinking... why would I get a gift for that asshole? Well, not THAT asshole, but...

F*ck This Sh*t Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our F*ck This Sh*t Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the sometimes-struggling domestic goddess. Some days you win. And other days, you just end up making a series of small fires in the kitchen. It's ok - that's what pizza delivery is for...

I'm Shy? No Sh*t Women's Socks

$10.99

If I wasn't shy, I'd burn all the "Ask Me" buttons. Call me shy one more time, I triple dog dare you. Our I'm Shy? No Shit Women's Crew Socks may be the right fit for you too if you are fine with the following: Never initiating conversation ✓ Groups of...

Humans Are My Side B*tch Cat Dish Towel

$10.99

If cats could talk our Humans Are My Side Bitch Cat Dish Towel would sum up their felines purrfectly. No, it doesn't read "rub my belly, leave me alone" but the message is the same! "Humans are my side bitch, solitude is my main bitch." But hey, that's...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

I Was F*cking Talking Socks

$10.99

Pissed Off Pineapple Socks Our deliciously juicy I Was F*cking Talking Socks speaks volumes without saying a word! Now, you know you're going to where these on days you expect to run into someone who grates on your nerves. Maybe it's not appropriate...

Clusterf*ck Dish Towel

$10.99

Embrace the almighty and apparently unavoidable clusterfuck with our Blue Q Clusterf*ck Dish Towel. Whether that clusterfuck refers to your disaster known as your kitchen, your day, your week, your love life, your lack of love life, your home, your...

Giant F-Bomb Mug

$14.99 $13.19

Drop the F-Bomb! If you need to drop the F-Bomb but fear the wrath of a nearby boss, mother or nun, then you need our F-Bomb mug. It gets the point across with a mouthful of coffee—not soap. Holds 14 oz. of your favorite beverage Great for anyone...

I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For Guys With Built In GPS Our refreshingly crass I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Stop the car! I'm getting out... a piece of gum to cut this tension with some much needed laughter. Fragile...

I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

I'll Feed All You F*ckers Oven Mitt

$12.99

Hungry? Embracing the challenges of fatherhood our I'll Feed All You F*ckers Oven Mitt is a nod to the king of the BBQ! What's that? You brought some friends home from school? You invited the neighborhood over for dinner? When will dinner be ready? It's...

The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks

$10.99

Embrace the suck with our The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks! Sure things may look bad now, but bad news in a cutie-pie cat, red dress, and yellow shoe-clad, blue-eyed kitten package ain't really all that bad in the end.  Enjoy giving the universe...

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