Cool As Sh*t Gifts

What the f*ck else did you think you'd find in our Cool As Sh*t Gifts category? Behold, our amazing hand-picked selection of essential f*cking gifts.  Imagine the cloud of profanity that will spill from your foul-mouthed friend's mouth as they unleash their excitement. Packed with sarcasm and wit, we swear you're going to want one of each for yourself! Sh*t. We guaran-f*cking-tee it... Find cool as sh*t gifts for all of your f*cking friends and family.

F*cking Meetings Candle

$19.99

Smells like this could have been an email... Our angst-poured Fucking Meetings Candle is for anyone that has been called to a meeting that was really about nothing... or at least should've just been a group email regarding the subject. The candle has a...

Deer A**hole Greeting Card

$4.99

Deer A**hole, return my calls Our funny, but frank, Deer A**hole Greeting Card is definitely a card for those friends and family who love to laugh. A great card for when someone does something (they know what they did) and it needs to be called out with...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Zero Fucks Candle

$19.99

None left to give... hope you enjoyed that last one. Our Zero Fucks Candle is for anyone that is just done with it all. We hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us...

B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt

$12.99

B*tch is the new black Our B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the non-conforming, sometimes foul-mouthed, matriarch. We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that,...

I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For Guys With Built In GPS Our refreshingly crass I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Stop the car! I'm getting out... a piece of gum to cut this tension with some much needed laughter. Fragile...

I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks

$10.99

Embrace the suck with our The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks! Sure things may look bad now, but bad news in a cutie-pie cat, red dress, and yellow shoe-clad, blue-eyed kitten package ain't really all that bad in the end.  Enjoy giving the universe...

Fuck It All Pen Set

$9.99

Great conversational pens! When the moment serves, you'll be ready with our Fuck It All Pen Set! Keep the whole five pen collection ready at your desk or carry your favorite one that seems to cover all the bases at all times! The Fuck It All Pen Set is...

Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm

$6.99

Our old fashioned, lip-smacking Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm is the best! So why mess with the rest? You might not think an old-fashioned soda fountain would be welcoming to the likes of a positively pink octopus with long luscious lashes. But...

Super F*cking Awesome Socks

$10.99

Like Super Duper F*cking Awesome SocksOur Super Fucking Awesome Women's Ankle Socks are, well, super fucking awesome. As they do say so themselves! Know what else is super fucking awesome? You! You were on time to work, your hair looks fab, your...

Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt

$12.99

Drop it like it's hot. Get ready to cook up some fun with our Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt! Whether you're a Pinterest Mistress or a natural born chef, you'll instantly become smitten with this mitten as it makes presenting your latest...

I'm Shy? No Sh*t Women's Socks

$10.99

If I wasn't shy, I'd burn all the "Ask Me" buttons. Call me shy one more time, I triple dog dare you. Our I'm Shy? No Shit Women's Crew Socks may be the right fit for you too if you are fine with the following: Never initiating conversation ✓ Groups of...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$12.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious housewarming or hostess...

Ask Your Doctor If Shutting The F*ck Up Is Right For You Gum

$1.99

Take the doctor's advice! Warning: Side effects may include me being way happier than I was before you shut the fuck up.  Includes 8 pieces of candy-coated mint-flavored gum in a dainty box.  Measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches wide. Ask...

Humans Are My Side B*tch Cat Dish Towel

$10.99

If cats could talk our Humans Are My Side Bitch Cat Dish Towel would sum up their felines purrfectly. No, it doesn't read "rub my belly, leave me alone" but the message is the same! "Humans are my side bitch, solitude is my main bitch." But hey, that's...

Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card

$4.99

If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one. Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not...

I F*cking Love It Out Here Socks

$10.99

Camping Socks Our I F*cking Love It Out Here Socks will capture the ecstatic f*cking bliss you feel from escaping fluorescent lights and embracing the great outdoors!  Ahhhh, the sights and sounds of communing with nature: birds, bugs, blue skies,...

B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel

$10.99

BTFU What may be an in-salt to some, our B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel is the perfect gift for the seasoned chef, who uses a heavy dose humor and wit. Featuring a colorful and classic repetitive design, it's reminiscent of our favorite...

Oh Sh*t! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card

$4.99

My love of food stopped me from going pro! Give your friend this humorous Oh Shit! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card featuring a woman who has misplaced her hopes and dreams. This is the perfect card for anyone who derailed a bit from...

Happy Birthday You Fabulous B*tch Card

$3.99

Bitch please, you're fabulous! Birthday cards are hard to find for that crafty friend that makes you jealous and admire them at the same time! Look no further, our Happy Birthday You Fabulous Bitch Card is here... the perfect card. That fabulous bitch...

Natural Born Assh*le Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Most Men If he talks like an asshole and looks like an asshole, chances are he is an asshole... and needs our Natural Born Asshole Men's Socks. Now, you may be thinking... why would I get a gift for that asshole? Well, not THAT asshole, but...

Busy Making A F*cking Difference Socks

$10.99

Our Busy Making a F*cking Difference Socks goes to show you that just because you're altruistic, doesn't mean you can't cuss like a sailor! The cool thing about "a fucking difference" is that everyone can make one. And we just love when shit's all...

Carpe The F*ck Out Of This Diem Socks

$10.99

If there were ever a pair of @ss kicking socks to exist... these are them! Next time you have an important day, throw on our Carpe The F*ck Out Of This Diem Socks to give you the confidence to seize the day, and let em know who's boss!   Like an...

Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen Into A Shithole Dish Towel

$10.99

Put your shit in the sink! Dripping with sarcasm and spilled drinks our Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen into a Shithole Dish Towel is not messing around! There's nothing like a delightfully crass kitchen towel to greet your guests, as it proudly...

Sh*tting Rainbows Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Holy crapola!  Today is THE BEST!  Our Shitting Rainbows Kind of Day Socks is just the pair to pull out of your sock drawer when you're so freakin happy that you could shit rainbows!   Maybe you woke up thinking it was Friday but it's...

I'm a Delicate F*cking Flower Socks

$10.99

Consider This A Warning Socks Gently nestled among a garden of blooms, the well-rooted message of our profanely dainty I'm A Delicate Fucking Flower Women's Crew Socks will allow you to manure through and flourish in any prickly situation. The cool...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

I Gave A F*ck, Once Socks

$10.99

There's not much to say about our I Gave a F*ck, Once Socks that they don't already convey!     There was a time, way back before, in the olden days, at which you cared.   A little, not a lot.   Never did you ever give TWO F*cks...

You Crafty Bitch Socks

$10.99

Great Gift For Those Crafty Bitches! Sew you like crafts, huh? Our hilarious You Crafty Bitch Socks will almost guarantee that your most tedious projects get off on the right foot! We just love her face - determined, focused, a little devilish. She...

Take No Sh*t, Give No F*cks Socks

$10.99

Our preposterously tranquil Take No Shit Give No Fucks Women's Socks are the perfect way to calmly express yourself when you have not a single fuck left to give. Have you perfected the fine art of not giving a fuck, know someone who has, or know someone...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

Up Yours Socks

$10.99

Up Yours Just Seems Nicer With Rainbows Socks For those days when you reluctantly have to play nice... you can tuck away your true feelings into your favorite kicks with our delightfully outspoken Up Yours Women's Crew Socks. Or if you're feeling bold...

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum Sometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum on you at all times!  You never know when a...

Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm

$6.99

You'll soon sea that discovering our Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm is nearly as exciting as stumbling across a new mermaid + seahorse pal! We have never really understood the whole strapless bathing suit thing, but this merlady is really rocking the...

I Want A F*cking Pizza Dish Towel

$10.99

Your prayers have been answered!  Our I Want A Fucking Pizza Dish Towel has come down from the heavens and manifested itself into your hot little hands. Why settle for some plain dishrag? You deserve an extra cheese supreme masterpiece! Remember...

F*ck This Sh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Not What I Want To Be Doing Right Now Socks We know, we know... why would a classy, well-dressed lumberjack such as this fella use that ugly, undignified word?  Because sometimes you just need a "Fuck," that's why. Our ruggedly handsome Fuck This...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

Best F*cking B*tches Necklace Set

$11.99

BFF or BFB? What do you give to the one person who has been through thick and thin, the good, the bad, and the ugly and still puts up with your sh*t and loves you like no other? Well, until they need a kidney, try sharing a laugh with your BFF by...

Connect The Dots F*ck Yeah Card

$4.99

Connecting the dots has never been so fun! Our interactive Connect The Dots Fuck Yeah Card is a great card to give when you want to send an enthusiastic note! It's fun because they must connect the dots to reveal a hidden message! So maybe after...

Kick Today in the Nuts Mug

$11.99

Kick it! A great way to start your day is to drink out of our Kick Today in the Nuts mug! Don't let today beat you and get you down. Our mug is probably... maybe, guaranteed or something, to keep that smile on your face while the day keeps throwing...

Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks

$12.99

Signed, Sealed + Delivered SocksProudly label yourself or others with our Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks! Qualifying for certifications can be a nuisance for certain entities - they're often restrictive, cost prohibitive, and sometimes they miss...

F*ck This Sh*t Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our F*ck This Sh*t Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the sometimes-struggling domestic goddess. Some days you win. And other days, you just end up making a series of small fires in the kitchen. It's ok - that's what pizza delivery is for...

F*ck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Greatest Day Ever Socks! Our hyper cute and enthusiastically vulgar Fuck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks are offering you perpetual permission to declare any day an anything goes kinda day! How about pizza for lunch?  Would you like another glass of wine?...

Hi. I Don't Care. Thanks. Socks

$10.99

Really Couldn't Care Less Socks To be honest, our effortlessly cheerful and relentlessly candid Hi, I Don't Care, Thanks Socks simply don't give a damn if like them or not.  But you will. One could say that socks are just like women...

Holy Sh*t I Love You Dish Towel

$10.99

Our Holy Shit I Love You Dish Towel features a pair of star-crossed lovers locking eyes across a crowded pasture. Or, a casual staring contest between buddies. You decide. Whether you like to spend time in the kitchen cooking, eating, or gabbing, this...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks

$10.99

Purrfect for pouncing around town or lounging in your fav sunspot Our My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks playfully points out the obvious about your BFF - Best Furry Friend.  Fur real, we'd much paw-fur spending time with our cat over suf-fur-ing through...

This Girl Takes No Sh*t Ankle Socks

$10.99

The only way we'll pussyfoot around Our meow-nificently catty This Girl Takes No Shit Ankle Socks is dripping with sass and cuteness! Featuring a relaxed kitty cat, enjoying a well-deserved ice cream cone waiting for the haters to say something so she...

Clusterf*ck Dish Towel

$10.99

Embrace the almighty and apparently unavoidable clusterfuck with our Blue Q Clusterf*ck Dish Towel. Whether that clusterfuck refers to your disaster known as your kitchen, your day, your week, your love life, your lack of love life, your home, your...

I Am Going To Get Sh*t Done. Later. Men's Socks

$12.99

We feel you. And our I Am Going To Get Shit Done. Later. Men's Socks will feel you too if you ever get around to buying them. Not that we're judging you, fellow procrastinators! Because it's okay! Sometimes you just need/deserve a sanity break. Watch...

Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks

$10.99

Socks For The Alpha Females In Your Live Whether you're kicking back or kicking @ss our Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks will be there to cheer you on! And trust us.. those naysayers will get your message loud and clear! Don't even get us star'ted on how...

Sh*tting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You're not seeing things, our Shitting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist actually does exist! And this shit is magic! Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. But unicorns? They eat glitter. And, we don't think we need to tell you...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

I Was F*cking Talking Socks

$10.99

Pissed Off Pineapple Socks Our deliciously juicy I Was F*cking Talking Socks speaks volumes without saying a word! Now, you know you're going to where these on days you expect to run into someone who grates on your nerves. Maybe it's not appropriate...

This Is F*cking Delicious Oven Mitt

$12.99

You know that meal was f*cking delicious, so why not pat yourself on the back with our This is F*cking Delicious Oven Mitt! A tasty juxtaposition of saccharine sweet and hilariously profane. Everyone loves baked mac and cheese. Now have some fun taking...

At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

$1.99

Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in a committed long-term relationship with our surrogate beds. Listen, when a couch hands you a compliment,...

Sign Up For The Latest Coupons, Product Launches + Secret Sales