Cool As Sh*t Gifts

What the f*ck else did you think you'd find in our Cool As Sh*t Gifts category? Behold, our amazing hand-picked selection of essential f*cking gifts.  Imagine the cloud of profanity that will spill from your foul-mouthed friend's mouth as they unleash their excitement. Packed with sarcasm and wit, we swear you're going to want one of each for yourself! Sh*t. We guaran-f*cking-tee it... Find cool as sh*t gifts for all of your f*cking friends and family.

Sh*tting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You're not seeing things, our Shitting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist actually does exist! And this shit is magic! Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. But unicorns? They eat glitter. And, we don't think we need to tell you...

F*ck This Sh*t Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our F*ck This Sh*t Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the sometimes-struggling domestic goddess. Some days you win. And other days, you just end up making a series of small fires in the kitchen. It's ok - that's what pizza delivery is for...

B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel

$10.99

BTFU What may be an in-salt to some, our B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel is the perfect gift for the seasoned chef, who uses a heavy dose humor and wit. Featuring a colorful and classic repetitive design, it's reminiscent of our...

Humans Are My Side B*tch Cat Dish Towel

$10.99

If cats could talk our Humans Are My Side Bitch Cat Dish Towel would sum up their felines purrfectly. No, it doesn't read "rub my belly, leave me alone" but the message is the same! "Humans are my side bitch, solitude is my main bitch." But hey, that's...

I Identify As A Badass Ankle Socks

$10.99

Day of firewalking ahead of you?  Our I Identify As A Badass Ankle Socks are just the pair you'll be wanting to pull from your sock drawer in the morning!   These badass ankle socks feature a message to be hidden from plain site...

I Want A F*cking Pizza Dish Towel

$10.99

Your prayers have been answered!  Our I Want A Fucking Pizza Dish Towel has come down from the heavens and manifested itself into your hot little hands. Why settle for some plain dishrag? You deserve an extra cheese supreme masterpiece! Remember to...

I'm a Delicate F*cking Flower Socks

$10.99

Consider This A Warning Socks Gently nestled among a garden of blooms, the well-rooted message of our profanely dainty I'm A Delicate Fucking Flower Women's Crew Socks will allow you to manure through and flourish in any prickly situation. The cool thing...

Busy Making A F*cking Difference Socks

$10.99

Our Busy Making a F*cking Difference Socks goes to show you that just because you're altruistic, doesn't mean you can't cuss like a sailor! The cool thing about "a fucking difference" is that everyone can make one. And we just love when shit's all...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

Motherf*cking Sweet Guy Men's Socks

$12.99

If you know someone deserving of our Motherf*cking Sweet Guy Men's Socks, count yourself mother f*cking lucky! So often it's the tough guys who end up being the real softies. Likewise, these socks at first glance have a hard exterior, but surprisingly...

Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks

$10.99

Socks For The Alpha Females In Your Live Whether you're kicking back or kicking @ss our Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks will be there to cheer you on! And trust us.. those naysayers will get your message loud and clear! Don't even get us star'ted on how...

Coconut Basil Lip Shit

$6.99

Cruelty Free Lip Balm We are giving you a rare opportunity to be a ukulele lady (or gentlemen) and we'll be a monkey's uncle if you don't love our Coconut Basil Lip Shit!  It is made from a beeswax formula and is extremely smooth and easy-to-apply...

Hi. I Don't Care. Thanks. Socks

$10.99

Really Couldn't Care Less Socks To be honest, our effortlessly cheerful and relentlessly candid Hi, I Don't Care, Thanks Socks simply don't give a damn if like them or not.  But you will. One could say that socks are just like women. They...

Take No Sh*t, Give No F*cks Socks

$10.99

Our preposterously tranquil Take No Shit Give No Fucks Women's Socks are the perfect way to calmly express yourself when you have not a single fuck left to give. Have you perfected the fine art of not giving a fuck, know someone who has, or know someone...

Ringmaster of the Sh*tshow Men's Socks

$12.99

My Circus, My Monkeys Our painfully honest and equally hilarious Ringmaster of the Shitshow Men's Socks are toe'tally perfect for everyday use, but especially for family gatherings! For much as you'd like to distance yourself from the mayhem and declare...

Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt

$12.99

Drop it like it's hot. Get ready to cook up some fun with our Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt! Whether you're a Pinterest Mistress or a natural born chef, you'll instantly become smitten with this mitten as it makes presenting your latest...

I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For Guys With Built In GPS Our refreshingly crass I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Stop the car! I'm getting out... a piece of gum to cut this tension with some much needed laughter. Fragile...

Sh*tting Rainbows Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Holy crapola!  Today is THE BEST!  Our Shitting Rainbows Kind of Day Socks is just the pair to pull out of your sock drawer when you're so freakin happy that you could shit rainbows!   Maybe you woke up thinking it was Friday but it's...

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum To Save The Planet By Calling All The Assholes OutSometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum...

Bored as F*ck Gym Socks

$11.99

Our Bored as F*ck Gym Socks are accurate AF some days, if not all days! These socks are the perfect attire to wear to the most boring of functions. Flash a little ankle, and you'll be able to break through the boredom with some well-deserved laughter!...

Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen Into A Shithole Dish Towel

$10.99

Put your shit in the sink! Dripping with sarcasm and spilled drinks our Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen into a Shithole Dish Towel is not messing around! There's nothing like a delightfully crass kitchen towel to greet your guests, as it proudly...

F*ck This Sh*t Socks

$10.99

You know exactly who you're going to buy our Fuck This Shit Crew Socks for, don't you? (Besides a pair for yourself, of course!) It's for the sassy, smart someone who doesn't mind lifting up their bottom cuff to show their true colors. And these are damn...

B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt

$12.99

B*tch is the new black Our B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the non-conforming, sometimes foul-mouthed, matriarch. We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that,...

F*ck 'Em Ankle Socks

$10.99

When you have one last fuck to give our F*ck 'Em Ankle Socks will help you step through the landmine of bullshit that's awaiting your day. You'll flit, flutter, and leap like a trained ballet dancer as you dodge being pulled into the craps the drama...

Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel

$10.99

Our deliciously distasteful Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel is just what the cook ordered! We don't need your half-baked ideas. Your pinch of advice, or dash of criticism. Mind your own plate and get out of our site before you become the main...

Get Your Sh*t Together Snarky Tea

$14.99

Okay, so you really need to work on your life at the moment... Our Get Your Sh*t Together Snarky Tea can help. What's that? You need a recap? You went out with co-workers last night and performed karaoke in front of your boss. You may or may not have...

Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm

$6.99

Our old fashioned, lip-smacking Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm is the best! So why mess with the rest? You might not think an old-fashioned soda fountain would be welcoming to the likes of a positively pink octopus with long luscious lashes. But...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Sucky Meetings At Work Statistically speaking, and according to this colorful PowerPoint pie chart based on what's trending, we'd guesstimate that 90% of meetings match the criteria for wearing our amazingly accurate This Meeting Is Bullshit...

F*ck This Sh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Not What I Want To Be Doing Right Now Socks We know, we know... why would a classy, well-dressed lumberjack such as this fella use that ugly, undignified word?  Because sometimes you just need a "Fuck," that's why. Our ruggedly handsome Fuck This...

Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm

$6.99

You'll soon sea that discovering our Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm is nearly as exciting as stumbling across a new mermaid + seahorse pal! We have never really understood the whole strapless bathing suit thing, but this merlady is really rocking the...

Natural Born Assh*le Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Most MenIf he talks like an asshole and looks like an asshole, chances are he is an asshole... and needs our Natural Born Asshole Men's Socks. Now, you may be thinking... why would I get a gift for that asshole? Well, not THAT asshole, but your...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$14.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set by Fred and Friends. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

F*ck Off I'm Reading Socks

$10.99

Book Nerd Warning Socks!Oh, for the love of books! Our Fuck Off I'm Reading Socks should keep them quiet! At least you can say you gave them a fair warning. Low key, yet shockingly hilarious this fun pair of toe warmers is a must to add to your growing...

You Fancy B*tch Crew Socks

$10.99

Fancy, Floral + Foul Mouthed SocksThese flowers won't hide the flowery language of our You Fancy Bitch Crew Socks for long! Here's a shout out to all the stylish ladies out there whom seem to have their shit together 24/7. Unlike the majority of us whom,...

Carpe The F*ck Out Of This Diem Socks

$10.99

If there were ever a pair of @ss kicking socks to exist... these are them! Next time you have an important day, throw on our Carpe The F*ck Out Of This Diem Socks to give you the confidence to seize the day, and let em know who's boss!   Like an...

I F*cking Love It Out Here Men's Socks

$12.99

Take a hike? Hill yes! Our I Fucking Love It Out Here Men's Socks are looking for a reason to stretch your legs and answer the call of the wild! Question: If a man in a forest shouts, "I fucking love it out here!" and no one hears it, does he make a...

Up Yours Socks

$10.99

Up Yours Just Seems Nicer With Rainbows Socks For those days when you reluctantly have to play nice... you can tuck away your true feelings into your favorite kicks with our delightfully outspoken Up Yours Women's Crew Socks. Or if you're feeling bold...

At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

$1.99

Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in a committed long-term relationship with our surrogate beds. Listen, when a couch hands you a compliment,...

I Am Going To Get Sh*t Done. Later. Men's Socks

$12.99

We feel you. And our I Am Going To Get Shit Done. Later. Men's Socks will feel you too if you ever get around to buying them. Not that we're judging you, fellow procrastinators! Because it's okay! Sometimes you just need/deserve a sanity break. Watch...

Polite as F*ck Gym Socks

$11.99

Our daringly discourteous Polite as F*ck Gym Socks are as colorful as the ill-mannered language they put on display! You're such a model citizen, but you need these socks to really let everyone know! Polite as fuck, you are, my dear. Oh, the irony and...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks

$10.99

Embrace the suck with our The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks! Sure things may look bad now, but bad news in a cutie-pie cat, red dress, and yellow shoe-clad, blue-eyed kitten package ain't really all that bad in the end.  Enjoy giving the universe...

Holy Sh*t I Love You Dish Towel

$10.99

Our Holy Shit I Love You Dish Towel features a pair of star-crossed lovers locking eyes across a crowded pasture. Or, a casual staring contest between buddies. You decide. Whether you like to spend time in the kitchen cooking, eating, or gabbing, this...

My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks

$10.99

Purrfect for pouncing around town or lounging in your fav sunspot Our My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks playfully points out the obvious about your BFF - Best Furry Friend.  Fur real, we'd much paw-fur spending time with our cat over suf-fur-ing through...

My Job Gives Me Diarrhea Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

We sh*t you not! Our My Job Gives Me Diarrhea Hand Sanitizer is an actual product. It's a combination of our #1 and #2 top office gifts! The truth is, my job doesn't actually give me diarrhea. But it HAS taught me how to spell diarrhea, which is a pretty...

Calm The F**k Down Tea Snarky Tea

$14.99

Adulting is hard.    Like, really hard.     Our Calm The F*ck Down Snarky Tea can help. You’re late for work and there’s crazy traffic. There’s mascara in your eye, concealer on your white pants and to top it off,...

Wake The F**k Up Snarky Tea

$14.99

Good morning, you stunning creature! Mornings are difficult for most, but not for you. You love hitting the treadmill at 5 a.m. and petting tiny fawns in dew-covered meadows at the first sign of daybreak. SYKE! Mornings suck. But we’ve got you...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

You're Doing F*cking Great! Woven Dish Towel

$12.99

Inspire confidence and encourage laughter with our You're Doing Fucking Great! Woven Dish Towel! Don't settle for a basic dish rag. Dish towels are like the socks of the kitchen! So, go on and add some kick ass personality to your favorite room in the...

Cute Little F*ckers Woodland Creature Dish Towel

$10.99

I Love Cooking For Those Cute Little Fuckers! Our Cute Little F*ckers Woodland Creature Dish Towel is like the center of a Venn diagram, in which the big circles are Norman Rockwell and Kinda Fucked Up. It's where your idyllic childhood and adulthood...

This Girl Takes No Sh*t Ankle Socks

$10.99

The only way we'll pussyfoot around Our meow-nificently catty This Girl Takes No Shit Ankle Socks is dripping with sass and cuteness! Featuring a relaxed kitty cat, enjoying a well-deserved ice cream cone waiting for the haters to say something so she...

Clusterf*ck Dish Towel

$10.99

Embrace the almighty and apparently unavoidable clusterfuck with our Blue Q Clusterf*ck Dish Towel. Whether that clusterfuck refers to your disaster known as your kitchen, your day, your week, your love life, your lack of love life, your home, your...

Eat Up, B*tches Woven Dish Towel

$12.99

Serve up some snark with our Eat Up, Bitches Woven Dish Towel! Dish towels are like the socks of the kitchen! So why not add some trash talking and personality to your favorite room in the house? It's the perfect gift, because everyone needs...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

Ringmaster Of The Sh*tshow Pencil Case

$5.99

With our amazingly accurate Ringmaster of the Shitshow Pencil Case, you can proudly flash your cringe worthy credentials at the drop of an exasperated *sigh*! You're ringing it, you're slinging it, you're bringing it. And now you've got the bag to match!...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

I Gave A F*ck, Once Socks

$10.99

There's not much to say about our I Gave a F*ck, Once Socks that they don't already convey!     There was a time, way back before, in the olden days, at which you cared.   A little, not a lot.   Never did you ever give TWO F*cks...

Namaste Motherf**ker Snarky Tea

$14.99

The choice of a new generation of yogis. Our Namaste Mother F**ker Snarky Tea is quenching the inner thirst of the new wave of snarky yoga practitioners. That's right. There's a new set of yogis in town, and we’re here for the elastic waistbands,...

Would Definitely Sh*t Here Again Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A cheeky gift for your favorite afi-shit-ionado our Would Definitely Shit Here Again Lavatory Mist will alert visitors to your impressive bathroom rating, and provide them with some reading material while they take a load off! Or is it pinch a loaf off?...