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Funny Birthday Cards

Shop our fun, cringey, hilarious or just downright sweet birthday cards!

Congrats On Not Being Dead Yet Birthday Card

$4.99

Cheer up! You're not dead yet. Let's celebrate another year of escaping death with our Congrats On Not Being Dead Yet Birthday Card. Another year wiser, another year older and another year of not being visited by the reaper. A funny card making light of...

Etch A Sketch Birthday Card

$4.99

The lines starts here... for birthday wishes! Our wildly fun Etch A Sketch Birthday Card is an inspiration back to our childhood. It was so fun to move the dials around and create something new and then quickly erase it all with a shake, shake, shake...

Going To Bed At 9PM Birthday Card

$4.99

Age is just a number, right? Our Going To Bed At 9PM Birthday Card is a great card to give someone that used to party but in recent years is maybe eating dinner at 4 in the afternoon and in bed at 9. Age is just a number, right? We're firm believers...

Happy Birthday To A Badass MoFo Card

$4.99

You've got it, strut it Our honorable Happy Birthday To A Badass MoFo Card is the perfect card for those friends that are just so bad ass. They've done it all and continue to set the stride. This is a great way to tell them Happy Birthday. The front of...

Happy Birthday You Fabulous B*tch Card

$3.99

Bitch please, you're fabulous! Birthday cards are hard to find for that crafty friend that makes you jealous and admire them at the same time! Look no further, our Happy Birthday You Fabulous Bitch Card is here... the perfect card. That fabulous bitch...

Happy Rainbow Vibes Birthday Sticker Card

$5.99

Sending happy vibes to you! This super bright Happy Rainbow Vibes Birthday Sticker Card is a fun card filled with good ju-ju and gift all in one! The card comes with a removable sticker that the recipient can stick on a laptop, tablet or really anywhere...

Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card

$4.99

If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one. Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not...

Present From The Ass-Holery Cat Birthday Card

$4.99

Are you kitten me? Our mischievous Present From Cat Birthday Card reminds us that we all love the cat, but the cat can be an asshole sometimes and there's no two ways about it. But the cat has it's heart in the right place and will promise to dispense...

Relax! After All You're The F*cking Birthday Girl Card

$4.99

Shut the door and have some me time! Seriously.  Relax! After All You're The Fucking Birthday Girl!  You probably haven't had time to pee without interruption in years.  Take today, you deserve it! Made in the USA! Printed on premium...

Scratch Off Retro Caboodle Greeting Card

$5.99

Makeup your own scratch-off message! Our iconic Scratch Off Caboodle Greeting Card is a totally awesome card to have on hand - you know just in case... *ba dum tss*    Seriously, though. It's totally customizable, and there's no text inside so...

Senior Citizen Bingo Birthday Card

$4.99

Is this what they call music nowadays? As we grow older, the aches and pains start to find their way into our regular lives. The hilarious Senior Citizen Bingo Greeting Card is a good way for everyone to have a good laugh at our own discomfort.  A...

The Years Have Made You Butter Birthday Card

$4.99

Packed with Birthday Wishes (not calories) A card in the shape of a stick of butter? You'd butter believe it! Our Grade AA, deliciously fun, The Years Have Made You Butter Birthday Card playfully illustrates the key ingredients to a perfect...

This Thing Wants To Wish You A Happy Birthday Card

$4.99

Heart melting cuteness! Our super cute "This Thing Wants To Wish You A Happy Birthday" Card is just what the cat dragged in... just for you!  Just look at those purr-fect eyes! Awwwww. This charming kitty cat card is crazy for you! Front:...

You're Excited About An Air Fryer Birthday Card

$3.99

This fridge makes that bullet ice!!! This Air Fryer Birthday Card pokes fun at the fact that our tastes, hobbies and wants change over the years. In our twenties, we never stayed home and were always looking forward to a party or club night. Nowadays...

You're Vintage Video Game Birthday Card

$4.99

We're not old, we're vintage Our Vintage Birthday Greeting Card is perfect for kids of the 70's, 80's and 90's that have now grown up. If you had a retro GameBoy, you're probably vintage at this point. You can hear the Tetris song right now... right?...

80's Pop Music Happy Birthday Card

$4.99

Like, have a rad birthday! This choice 80's Pop Music Happy Birthday Card is an awesome way to celebrate a top-of-the-charts birthday with some of the coolest 80's pop stars! Let's go crazy and express yourself with this totally awesome card...

Crafty B*tch Happy Birthday Card

$4.99

I can make that! Our sassy Crafty Bitch Happy Birthday Card is perfect for those friends that can make something out of anything. Fully re-purposing a milk carton, old piece of wood and a bent nail into a beautiful hummingbird feeder. Some serious...

God Grant You The Serenity To Kick Some Serious Ass Today

$3.99

Channel some Wonder Woman + Chuck Norris today! Our God Grant You The Serenity To Kick Some Serious Ass Today Card is inspirational to the reader. Today's YOUR day, don't let anyone take it from you. There are too many Debbie Downers out there that want...

Happy Birthday To My Prettiest Friend Birthday Card

$4.99

We wouldn't want anyone to feel bad!  Happy Birthday To My Prettiest Friend! Don't show any of our other friends this card.  I swear it's not because they all receive the same card on their birthdays!   Blank inside for a personal...

Happy Birthday You Glorious B@stard Card

$3.99

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.  Our Happy Birthday You Glorious Bastard Card is the perfect birthday card for the guy that always pulls it off. He's intelligent, capable and always...

Have A Ball Kitten Pop-up Birthday Card

$5.99

Paws-ibly the best card ever! Seriously. No kitten! It's official. Our adorable Have A Ball Kitten Pop-up Birthday Card has been voted The Bestest Card of the Year by the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee!  Send your fellow cat lovers warm fuzzies and an...

Introvert Party Birthday Card

$4.99

Whew, that was close. I almost had to socialize. Our Introvert Party Birthday Card is perfect because most introverts don't want the party or the attention! Right? Just a little... or large cake to share with your pets and maybe the tv or a good book...

Let The Celebrations Be Gin Glitter Card

$5.99

Save water, drink gin! Our Let The Celebrations Be Gin Greeting Card is deliciously adorable! Let someone know you hope they have a gin-credible day! Adorned with colorful glitter and a three-dimensional sparkly cocktail of gin with limes! The only...

Let's Taco Break To Celebrate Your Birthday Sticker Card

$5.99

Have a spec-taco-ular birthday! This super cute Let's Taco Break To Celebrate Your Birthday Sticker Card is a fun card and gift all in one! The card comes with a kawaii-style removable taco sticker that the recipient can stick on a laptop, tablet or...

Put On Your Party Pants Glitter Card

$5.99

Get ready to party! Our Put On Your Party Pants Cat Glitter Card is purrr-fect for the party people (and cool cats) in your life! This snazzy glitter adorned card has a three-dimensional fun loving kitty that is ready to get down and get wild! A...

Retro Cakebox Happy Birthday Card

$4.99

Life is better with cake Our Retro Cakebox Happy Birthday Card reminds us all that nothing says happy birthday like a homemade cake! Well, at least a cake that was made at home with some water and eggs... with a lot of that buttercream frosting. Oh, and...

The Meaner You Are, The Longer You Live Birthday Card

$4.99

Immortally mean! For your meanest friends, only our The Longer You Live Birthday Card will do! They say to keep your circle tight and the inside jokes close. So all your besties that are like-minded will revel and laugh when getting this awesome birthday...

Wow You're Pretty F*cking Old Birthday Card

$4.99

Welcome to the beginning of the end Send our Wow You're Pretty Fucking Old Birthday Card to laugh and celebrate another year of aging! This works great for those over-the-hill but also for people hitting milestones like a 30th birthday. The front...

You're Old Enough To Break A Hip Birthday Card

$4.99

Electric scooter! What could go wrong? Celebrate friends birthdays with our You're Old Enough To Break A Hip Birthday Card. Who cares if we're 40, 50, 60+ years old... we can still yearn for adventure and want to do dumb things. That can go from...

Your Cake Is A Dangerous Weapon Birthday Card

$4.99

Hurry before the smoke alarm goes off! Our hilarious Your Cake Is A Dangerous Weapon Birthday Card is perfect for friends and family that are celebrating a birthday where the amount of candles on the cake has officially been labeled a fire hazard...

Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy you-wrecked-your-mom Day! Give your friends the Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card because saying Happy Cake Day is just too normal nowadays! It's just a fun reminder that they were pushed out of their mom on this day. Let's celebrate! Thank...

Barbie's Measurements Are 39-23-33 Birthday Card

$4.99

What were the thinking?! Life is so much better when you aren't occupied with trying to achieve Barbie's measurements... besides, you will NEVER be able to get down to 11.5 inches tall! Inside: That’s why we always gave her a bad haircut. Happy...

Birthday Toast Greeting Card

$5.99

A fun birthday toast for you! Our Birthday Toast Greeting Card is totally not crummy! You can crust us when we say this is one of the greatest cards ever! Adorned with a three-dimensional piece of toast wearing a party hat! The high quality matching...

Friends Through Thick + Thin Birthday Card

$4.99

Friends... no matter what! Our punny Friends Through Thick + Thin Birthday Card is the perfect card to wish your friend a happy birthday. You guys have been through it all and are so close, you have seen each other go through mental and physical changes...

Happy Golden Years Golden Girls Greeting Card

$4.99

Everything is coming up Rose’s Take the sting out of turning another year older, with our Happy Golden Years Card! How could you possibly have a bad day with Rose Nyland wishing you a happy birthday? The mere sight of her angelic face conjures up...

Have A Meowgical Birthday Glitter Card

$5.99

Trifecta kitty creature! Our Have A Meowgical Birthday Greeting Glitter Card is purrrr magic! Nothing tops a cat unicorn rainbow trifecta! Nothing! Adorned with colorful glitter and a three-dimensional purr-fect magical kitty! The high quality matching...

How Do You Keep Getting Hotter Every Year Birthday Card

$4.99

Damn girl, Mother Earth is looking hot! The tongue-in-cheek How Do You Keep Getting Hotter Every Year Birthday Card (carbon) is the perfect birthday card for folks that just seems to get more attractive as they age! Wouldn't we all appreciate a...

I Almost Fell Off Unicorn Birthday Card

$3.99

I didn't choose the Unicorn life, it chose me! Our fantastic I Almost Fell Off Unicorn Birthday Card is for all of us with an inner-child that tends to drift off into day dreams often. Life can be a little too real sometimes and we like to take the "why...

Official Confettigram Pom Poms Greeting Card

$5.99

Whoop! Whoop! Party delivery!  Deliver a party to their mailbox with our Official Confettigram Pom Poms Greeting Card! It's colorful, free-spirited card come packed full of fun! The clear envelope contains a folded card (blank inside) with...

OMG! It's Your Birthday Card

$4.99

Divine birthday wishes from upper management!  Even Jesus is excited when you send the OMG! It's Your Birthday Card to your friends! What a surprise when they open up the card and see that you remembered their birthday! So, snap up a stash of this...

Pterribly Awesome Birthday Card

$4.99

Pterrific way to celebrate! Send birthday wishes with this Pterribly Awesome Birthday Card. Featuring a magenta pterodactyl soaring on the cover, it's a fun card playing on the silent "P" in the name. Great birthday card for dinosaur and prehistoric...

Sprinkles Official Confettigram

$5.99

Celebrate good times, come on! There's a party going on right here, our Sprinkles Official Confettigram, a reaction to last through out the year! A righteous greeting card worthy to please the-one-and-only Kool and the Gang has arrived! This...

You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy squeezing out day! Remind everyone where they really came from and send them some birthday love with our You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card. It's a miracle... but kind of a gross miracle. Today is the day you were squeezed out of...

You Were Cool Once Birthday Card

$4.99

Man buns were okay 10 years ago Our hilarious You Were Cool Once Birthday Card is perfect for trendsetters, those who long for their glory days and anyone who currently has a blackberry. Remember how cool you looked with your pegged jeans? Yeah,...

A Little Birdie Cannot Keep a Secret Birthday Card

$4.99

That little birdie is going to get it Our hilarious A Little Birdie Cannot Keep a Secret Birthday Card pokes fun at birthday questions we wished never came up. We are sooo tired of all those "little birdie told me..." birthday cards. That nosy birdie...

A Wise Woman Once Said F*ck This Sh*t Birthday Card

$3.99

Not my circus... not my monkeys Sometimes a good slice of advice can go a long way, just like our Wise Woman Birthday Card. It's good to let go and not stress about some things. When it comes to drama and people dragging you down in life, you just have...

Congrats On Another 365 Days Without Adulting Birthday Card

$4.99

Well done! Congratulations On Successfully Making It Another 365 Days Without Adulting! Please note: if you are over 25 and your parents hand deliver this to your "apartment" in the basement... it might actually be sarcasm.  If you're an amazing,...

Creepy Clowns Birthday Card

$4.99

What a nice jester Our Creepy Clowns Birthday Card is perfect for horror fans, clown enthusiasts and of course anyone with (the fear of clowns) coulrophobia! While they're not real clowns, they're still creepy looking and are scary. Queue the circus...

Fun + Fabulous Beach Birthday Sticker Card

$5.99

Sip me baby one more time! This colorful and celebratory Fun + Fabulous Beach Birthday Sticker Card is a fun card and gift all in one! The card comes with a kawaii-style removable coconut cocktail sticker that the recipient can stick on a laptop, tablet...

Good News You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card

$4.99

I'm actually feeling much better This delightful and macabre Good News, You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card is reminding us to always look at the bright side of life. Another year older, things can get harder with aches, pains, sight... getting old kind...

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