Funny Gifts

Weird and funny, sometimes offensive, but always a huge hit!  

Get Along With Your Co-Workers Gum

$1.99

Your Job Doesn't Suck, Just Your Co-Workers The reality in the majority of people's lives is that they have to get a job to survive. Unfortunately you get stuck working alongside people you might not otherwise frequent in the free world! To make your...

Instant Winter Snow

$3.99

Make your own Yeti habitat! Our Instant Winter Snow is here to save the day! It's quite possible that snowbody loves snow days more than we do!  However, if you're a like-minded creature who loves the white fluffy stuff too and are possibly...

Official World's Smallest Lite-Brite

$7.99

Honey, I Shrunk the Lite-Brite! Our Hasbro licensed, World's Smallest Lite-Brite is just like the one you had in the 70's and 80's - just a lot smaller! And YES! It actually works! You will love create tiny pictures on the smallest Lite Brite you have...

Best Buds Mint Gum

$1.99

Guaranteed Good Shit To Share With A Cannabis Loving Buddy The rumors are true... our gum has gone to pot! Our Best Buds Gum has been made with a very special, mind-altering ingredient. It's called LOVE. Looking for CBD Infused Edibles and...

Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade

$15.99

We're totally nutty about our Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade! This collapsible indoor windshield cover will not only protect and cool your car while blocking UV rays, it will also make it appear like it’s full of a squad of sassy squirrels...

Dancing with Jesus Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book

$10.99

Lord Almighty! Jesus sure has some righteous moves! Our Dancing with Jesus: Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book is truly a God send! Are your dance moves unrighteous?  Do you refrain from getting down, lest others judge you cruelly?  Fear not...

Evidence Tote

$6.99

WARNING: Do not tamper with the contents of our zippered Evidence Tote! This is not a toy in any circumstance unless you're playing beat up the person stealing the evidence. There's even a seal that says OFFICIAL PROPERTY DO NOT OPEN. So were pretty...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

Happy Camper Pencil Holder

$12.99

Kitschy camper for your crayons!  Simply assemble and you're ready to park our retro-styled Happy Camper Pencil Holder on your desk.  Toss in your pens and pencils, kick back and relax! Then you can start planning your next grand adventure (or...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum

$1.99

Uh, oh! They've found us out! Our I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum is dropping truth bombs by way of delicious chicklet-sized mint gum! A fun item to have for those moments when you don't have time for humility. If they didn't get the message...

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum To Save The Planet By Calling All The Assholes OutSometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum...

Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm

$6.99

You'll soon sea that discovering our Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm is nearly as exciting as stumbling across a new mermaid + seahorse pal! We have never really understood the whole strapless bathing suit thing, but this merlady is really rocking the...

Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm

$6.99

Our old fashioned, lip-smacking Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm is the best! So why mess with the rest? You might not think an old-fashioned soda fountain would be welcoming to the likes of a positively pink octopus with long luscious lashes. But...

Nose Aerobics Basketball

$3.99

Anyone up for a game of faceball? The nose is the most neglected muscle in your body.   That's why our Nose Aerobics Basketball is the next big thing.   It's exercise for your nose!   Dramatically increase your sense of smell* while...

Official World's Coolest Polaroid Camera

$7.99

Oh snap! Our World's Coolest Polaroid Camera may not be a working camera - but don't be so negative! It's only an amazingly cool miniature version of the original Polaroid Land Camera, with sound and simulated film! Just press the red button and...

Official World's Smallest Etch-A-Sketch

$6.99

The World's Favorite Drawing Toy What do you get the person that has everything? Simple.... The World's Smallest Etch-a-Sketch. This classic toy has been bringing joy and amusement to countless people for as long as 50 years- and now that it's pocket...

Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings

$9.99

You're a shining star! When you're rocking our Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings, you're guaranteed to steal the show! The spotlight will always be on you(r ears!) While testing these products out we were totally impressed by how...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

Two For Tea Narwhal Tea Infuser + Mug Gift Set

$19.99

Having trouble telling the world how you feel? Cut the blubber and get straight to the point with Our Two For Narwhal Tea Infuser and Mug set! It's the classic love story... mug meets infuser and happiness brews. This dynamic duo consists of our Spiked...

Wet My Whistle Musical Straws

$9.99

Whistle while you work (on that drink) With our Wet My Whistle Musical Straws, the *clink* of ice dropping into your glass wont be the only music to your ears!   Its like that cool whistle candy you used to get when you're a kid... but this time,...

Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum

$1.99

Introducing, our Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum. Since you were a child, everyone's always told you to always be yourself.  This is great advice and should always be worn on your sleeve... unless you can be a unicorn. Be sure...

Happy Gum For Your Crappy Life

$1.99

Happy fact #34. It's a proven fact that a happy person is probably in denial of something. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, your life will seem less crappy... at least while you're chewing this gum! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

Hey Bitches Gum

$1.99

Bitches + Kittens When you whip out your pack of Hey Bitches Gum, you'd better be ready to toss back a box of Pino Grigio! You are calling the pack - your gang of girls together. Will it be a tears and ice cream night or a go out and (no survivors)...

Holy Toast Bread Stamp

$4.99

Holy Mother Of God... what is on my toast! In the beginning...there was bread. Ho hum. Make that boring bread an inspiration by embossing it before you toast! Our easy-to-use HOLY TOAST stamper always makes a good impression. Press the stamper into an...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and running late. And, we love pickles. Maybe you simply feel...

Rubber Chicken Bandages

$5.49

From tears of pain to tears of laughter. If laughter is the best medicine, then our Rubber Chicken Bandages are a cure for what ails you!* Next time you impale yourself with an unwieldy object, don't run around like a chicken with your head cut off!...

The Daily Mood Flipchart

$8.99

Some days the office is like a tea party, other days it's a lion's den. That's why The Daily Mood is a crucial desktop accessory! This fun flip-chart spells out everyone's demeanor in no uncertain terms. There are 47 moods to choose from, each with its...

The Original Wiz-z-zer

$7.99

Go on, take it for a spin The Original Wiz-z-zer is back and it's ready to shred the competition! Step aside Beyblades there's a new sheriff in town!  You can't expect your mom to hold on to you all of your old toys! So, if you've been...

Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle

$11.99

Babies can learn to count while doing reps! Our Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle turns junior into a bench-pressin' body-builder!  Never be embarrassed by "baby fat" again!  Seriously folks... don't read into that statement (or send us hate mail) -...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Official World's Smallest Perplexus

$9.99

Easy to Play... Hard to Master! We can describe the World's Smallest Perplexus in one word. A-maze-ing. *badum tssh* Perplexus Original now comes in a miniature pocket-sized edition so you can keep playing on the go! This 3D maze has always been a fun...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

Weed Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Our adorably giggly Weed Money Coin Purse is highly sought after throughout the kawaii loving stoner community.   Let's be blunt.   It might not be big enough for your stash but... it's a start!   For sure, it can easily hold some coinage...

You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse

$4.99

Hey girl, just a little something to tell you that we...really like...you.  Just.  The way.  You are. Our perfectly patterned, You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse is made from an impressive 95% post-consumer material!  Used...

Bitches Get Stuff Done Coin Purse

$4.99

Go ahead.  At first glance, it may seem like this little girl is taking a joy ride on a sweet, puffy cloud.  But look again.  Kind of looks like the cloud's the one being taken for a ride, doesn't it?  Introducing the subtle...

Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Because lighting a match around all of that gas doesn't seem like a good idea. Our Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist is made with fragrant essential oils to avoid cheap perfume fog and butt smog. Two quick squirts in the toilet before you squat and that Taco...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum

$1.99

Just once piece of our Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum unlocks the dialogue between you and your pet!  You'll finally be able to share your intimate dreams and fears, stock tips, recipes and who you think should be kicked off Big Brother next! For...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

Total Eclipse Of The Fart Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A fresh remix of an old favorite, our Total Eclipse Of The Fart Lavatory Mist by Blue Q is on track to be a hit in the bathroom! You need this now, tonight.  You need this more than ever. (Especially if it's Taco Tuesday.) Whether you farted or...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

Beer Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Wait a minute!  Those three mice aren't blind!  They were just cold chilling wearing their RayBans while plotting to scamper off with your brewski! Whether you prefer dark beers, light beers, craft beers, your very own home brew or the cheapest...

Cat Butt Coin Purse

$4.99

Our high quality Cat Butt Coin Purse is the kitty for your cash!   This adorable zippered coin purse features a silly snickering kitty on the front and a useful field guide on the backside!   Just in case you have a chance meeting with a...

Cute But Psycho. But Cute. Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For The UnpredictableSometimes, just sometimes... being perpetually cute comes with a price and our Cute But Psycho But Cute Gum pretty much sums it up perfectly, in the cutest way possibly of course. A fun cautionary gift for when it's...

Duck Duck Drink Tea Infuser

$14.99

It’s tea time, so bottom’s up! Our Duck Duck Drink Tea Infuser is a charming tea infuser that floats in your cup — bobbing and brewing loose tea leaves to perfection. When you're stressed out and feel like telling the world to go...

Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

You're filthy, wipe your mouth! It's time to put your money where your mouth is with our Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins! Refine your cocktail party experience with these high-quality, highfalutin napkins will keep you looking like a million bucks, even...

It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum

$1.99

Makes sense to us! Our thought provoking, It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum really gave us something to chew on! Meow, we've always really admired one's ability to argue a point. Those crazy cat ladies are really onto something!...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints left over when we made our other mints! These mints are...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

You're Kind Of A Dick Gum

$1.99

For that Dick in your life - and we ain't talkin' about Richard   Our vintage styled You're Kind of a Dick Gum is a fun an unexpected gift you can slip to any prick you may happen upon during your day.   Can't think of anyone deserving of...

Abraham Lincoln Bandages

$5.49

Scrape of Injustice? Our Abraham Lincoln Bandages off the comforting, instantly recognizable image of one of our greatest presidents on a bandage.   Scrape or cut, if you're looking for an honest bandage, our Abraham Lincoln bandages will live up to...

Unbeerlievable Beer Bottle Opener Ring

$5.99

Unbeerlievably Handy! Stop searching through drawers, put down that lighter, and for Pete's sake get that bottle away from your back teeth! Now you'll never be left without the ability to open a tasty micro brew or specialty beer when you have our...

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