Funny Gifts

Weird and funny, sometimes offensive, but always a huge hit!  

Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum

$1.99

Introducing, our Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum. Since you were a child, everyone's always told you to always be yourself.  This is great advice and should always be worn on your sleeve... unless you can be a unicorn. Be sure to...

Bitches Get Stuff Done Coin Purse

$4.99

Go ahead.  At first glance, it may seem like this little girl is taking a joy ride on a sweet, puffy cloud.  But look again.  Kind of looks like the cloud's the one being taken for a ride, doesn't it?  Introducing the subtle...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money and...

You're Kind Of A Dick Gum

$1.99

For that Dick in your life - and we ain't talkin' about Richard   Our vintage styled You're Kind of a Dick Gum is a fun an unexpected gift you can slip to any prick you may happen upon during your day.   Can't think of anyone deserving of such...

Pocket Science Pet Tornado

$7.99

Great gift for the storm chaser in your life! Messy office?  Great! So now when your snarky office mate asks if your desk was hit by a tornado, you can say in fact yes, and proudly introduce them to your Pet Tornado.   Give the jar a swirl or...

Official World's Smallest Etch-A-Sketch

$6.99

The World's Favorite Drawing Toy What do you get the person that has everything? Simple.... The World's Smallest Etch-a-Sketch. This classic toy has been bringing joy and amusement to countless people for as long as 50 years- and now that it's pocket...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

Hey Bitches Gum

$1.99

Bitches + Kittens When you whip out your pack of Hey Bitches Gum, you'd better be ready to toss back a box of Pino Grigio! You are calling the pack - your gang of girls together. Will it be a tears and ice cream night or a go out and (no survivors)...

Crystal Growing Volcano

$6.99

A fractal eruption! Exploding soon on a desk near you... a fractal eruption from our Crystal Growing Volcano! All of the beauty of an erupting volcano, with none of the hot ash or running for your life! Our kit includes a paper volcano form, a tray,...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

Huggy Tiny Tree Frog Ear Cuff

$4.99

Your good luck charm! They say that when a lucky frog comes into your life that it's a sign of transformation and it may well spark many wonderful changes! Well that's just a little bit more than a tad exciting!  Our single Tiny Hugging Tree Frog...

Pickle Bandages

$5.49

Never underestimate the protective power of pickles! This pickle bandage prevents pickle brine from stinging your cuts, scrapes or other minor boo-boos! And if a Pickle Bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! 15 ...

Decaf Is For Wimps Mug

$9.99

Allow This Thought To Percolate Show the world that no matter how you drink your favorite java, purist or fangled, only a caffeine buzz will suit you. The ceramic mug looks like a pot of decaf coffee from your favorite diner or restaurant.   On...

Mister Rogers' Encouragements

$3.49

Won't you, please?  Please, won't you, please?  Please, have one or two Mister Rogers' Encouragemints!! Whether you're changing into your suit or your cardigan - whether you're coming home or going out into the neighborhood, you'll have more...

100% Legal Pot (Holder)

$9.99

Get Baked + Cook At The Same Time! So, what you've got here is a pot holder that LOOKS like a pot leaf! Pot ... pot. Hilarious!  Long after the novelty of this aptly-named product wears off, you'll be enjoying its quality construction and...

Bacon Bandages

$5.49

Making Bacon Boo Boos! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of our Bacon Bandages. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Includes a small toy to help make even the...

Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup Decoy Safe

$12.49

Don't worry, we won't tell anyone that a can of Cream of Mushroom soup is the key ingredient in your amazing crock pot masterpiece.  Your secret is safe with us.  Well okay, maybe it's not.  But your secret valuables are actually safe in...

Evidence Tote

$6.99

WARNING: Do not tamper with the contents of our zippered Evidence Tote! This is not a toy in any circumstance unless you're playing beat up the person stealing the evidence. There's even a seal that says OFFICIAL PROPERTY DO NOT OPEN. So were pretty...

I'm Not Emotionally Dead, But It Sounds Amazing Gum

$1.99

Emotionally exhausted from being dragged by the drama llama? Our I'm Not Emotionally Dead, But It Sounds Amazing Gum was made for you. You know what they say: the grass is always greener on the other side of the emotionally-dead fence! Ahhh. Wouldn't it...

Beer Bottle Opener Ring

$5.99 $3.99

Unbeerlievably Handy! Stop searching through drawers, put down that lighter, and for Pete's sake get that bottle away from your back teeth! Now you'll never be left without the ability to open a tasty micro brew or specialty beer when you have our...

Magical Mushroom Pen

$2.99

Next time your co-worker-who-never-has-a-pen stops by your desk, you can hide your toadstoolly awesome Magic Mushroom Pen in plain site, and they'll be none the wiser. For this non-poisonous (and incredibly adorable) shroom tchotchke holds magical powers...

Weed Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Our adorably giggly Weed Money Coin Purse is highly sought after throughout the kawaii loving stoner community.   Let's be blunt.   It might not be big enough for your stash but... it's a start!   For sure, it can easily hold some coinage...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

Bravery Bandages

$5.49

Our hilarious, yet distinguished, Bravery Bandages celebrate the nearly forgotten art of resiliency! Everyone recognizes bravery when it’s risking your life to save someone or facing impossible odds, but some bravery is on a much smaller scale...

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

$3.49

With our Bob Ross Happy Little Mints, The Joy of Painting and fresh breath are now within reach! Talk to the tree, make friends with it. People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different. Enjoy the...

Duck Duck Drink Tea Infuser

$14.99

It’s tea time, so bottom’s up! Our Duck Duck Drink Tea Infuser is a charming tea infuser that floats in your cup — bobbing and brewing loose tea leaves to perfection. When you're stressed out and feel like telling the world to go...

Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm

$6.99

You'll soon sea that discovering our Lip Shit Orange Mango Lip Balm is nearly as exciting as stumbling across a new mermaid + seahorse pal! We have never really understood the whole strapless bathing suit thing, but this merlady is really rocking the...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.59

Not Gonna Melt! Our fascinating Astronaut Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich is a tasty snack that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re out exploring the galaxy or hanging back here on Earth! Frozen in time, yet not frozen in temperature, it takes the ice...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

$8.99

Top Unicorn Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts  |  Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart.  |  We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect gift for the lovers, the dreamers and you!  It's not an illusion... we've...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and running late. And, we love pickles. Maybe you simply feel...

Savory Sushi Note Pals Sticky Tabs

$3.49

Our Savory Sushi Note Pals Sticky Tabs are here to save the day, and your books! Rumor has it, you like to occasionally dog ear books, or use old receipts as place holders... is that really how you roll? If you're going to keep tabs on things, you might...

Cupcake Bandages

$5.49

Cover Your Cuts With Cute! Cupcakes are the cure-all that can conquer your cuts and contusions! Experience the mouth-watering healing power of cupcakes! These Cupcake Bandages let you use the healing power of adorable baked goods to help heal physical...

Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Because lighting a match around all of that gas doesn't seem like a good idea. Our Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist is made with fragrant essential oils to avoid cheap perfume fog and butt smog. Two quick squirts in the toilet before you squat and that Taco Bell...

Sh*tting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You're not seeing things, our Shitting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist actually does exist! And this shit is magic! Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. But unicorns? They eat glitter. And, we don't think we need to tell you...

Beer Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Wait a minute!  Those three mice aren't blind!  They were just cold chilling wearing their RayBans while plotting to scamper off with your brewski! Whether you prefer dark beers, light beers, craft beers, your very own home brew or the cheapest...

Official World's Smallest Perplexus

$9.99

Easy to Play... Hard to Master! We can describe the World's Smallest Perplexus in one word. A-maze-ing. *badum tssh* Perplexus Original now comes in a miniature pocket-sized edition so you can keep playing on the go! This 3D maze has always been a fun...

Roach Clips Bag Clips

$8.99

Our Fred Roach Clips Bag Clips are brand shrieking new for Fall 2018! Eerily realistic these all-purpose spring-loaded bag clips are cleverly designed to look like cockroaches, and will make you jump! They're a fun + unique housewarming (or dorm...

Uncanny Cocktail Wiener Erasers

$9.99

Oh, don't be such a weenie! Of course, our Uncanny Cocktail Wiener Erasers are the perfect departure gift from a less than admirable ex-boyfriend! Particularly after you discovered he was just a pig in a blanket. I mean, there are wurst things you...

Narwhal Lip Gloss

$4.99

Tusk, tusk, tusk... It's true! Narwhal Lip Gloss really does exist! This pudgy little Unicorn of the Sea has swam all the way from the Arctic to help you make sure that your kisses are legendary! He's not just over-whale-mingly cute, he serves a...

Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

You're filthy, wipe your mouth! It's time to put your money where your mouth is with our Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins! Refine your cocktail party experience with these high-quality, highfalutin napkins will keep you looking like a million bucks, even...

Best Buds Mint Gum

$1.99

Guaranteed Good Shit To Share With A Cannabis Loving Buddy The rumors are true... our gum has gone to pot! Our Best Buds Gum has been made with a very special, mind-altering ingredient. It's called LOVE. Looking for CBD Infused Edibles and...

Instant Winter Snow

$3.99

Make your own Yeti habitat! Our Instant Winter Snow is here to save the day! It's quite possible that snowbody loves snow days more than we do!  However, if you're a like-minded creature who loves the white fluffy stuff too and are possibly...

Abraham Lincoln Bandages

$5.49

Scrape of Injustice? Our Abraham Lincoln Bandages off the comforting, instantly recognizable image of one of our greatest presidents on a bandage.   Scrape or cut, if you're looking for an honest bandage, our Abraham Lincoln bandages will live up...

The Scream Bandages

$5.49

Shout... shout... Let it all out!  These are the bandages you can't do without. We're willing to bet you Tears for Fears that our terrifyingly awesome The Scream Bandages, are the perfect thing for dealing with scrapes and owies. After all, Edvard...

Unicorn Poop Lip Gloss

$4.99

With our Unicorn Poop Lip Gloss, you no longer have to awkwardly follow behind your BFF unicorn attempting to scoop their poop before the garden gnomes scurry off with it! Unicorn poop isn't the same as other creatures. It is rainbow and sparkly and...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

Happy Camper Pencil Holder

$12.99

Kitschy camper for your crayons!  Simply assemble and you're ready to park our retro-styled Happy Camper Pencil Holder on your desk.  Toss in your pens and pencils, kick back and relax! Then you can start planning your next grand adventure (or...

Middle Child Mints

$3.99

Cheaper than therapy, our Middle Child Mints are tangible proof that we didn't forget you in the penguin house at the Pittsburgh Zoo (true story- thanks dad!) We promise these are not just the mints left over when we made our other mints! These mints are...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

I Like Long Romantic Walks To The Fridge Dish Towel

$10.99

You butter believe it! Our I Like Long Romantic Walks To The Fridge Dish Towel is sure to hit the spot with foodies from all walks of life, and that's no bologna! Featuring a repetitive, colorful mayo jar design reminiscent of Andy Warhol. It's a fun...

Jesus Bandages

$5.49

Jesus Will Heal You and Your Boo Boo! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of Jesus bandages. And if a Jesus bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY included in the tin! The Jesus Bandage...

Totally 80's Bracelet Pen

$2.99

Now you may not have needed it to scribble notes that you discretely passed to your friend in between classes or to write down the name of the song you just heard on the radio... but our Totally 80's Bangle Bracelet is sure to come in handy in this...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

Cat Butt Gum

$1.99

Cute As A Butt-on Gum If you've got a lot of attitude to pass around, this gum is just right for you! Includes 8 peppermint pieces of "Kiss My Ass" attitude per box. Get a second box because you've got a lot of attitude to share. Meow! What are you...

Nose Aerobics Basketball

$3.99

Anyone up for a game of faceball? The nose is the most neglected muscle in your body.   That's why our Nose Aerobics Basketball is the next big thing.   It's exercise for your nose!   Dramatically increase your sense of smell* while...

Squirrel Underpants

$5.99

Underwear For Your Squirrel Are you sick and tired of squirrels running naked in the trees around your house? Have you had to hide your children's eyes when a tiny furry streaker crosses the sidewalk in front of you? We've got the answer...Squirrel...

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