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I Yearn For Redemption Gum

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Our hilariously irreverent "I Yearn For Redemption.  But Will Settle For A Breakfast Sandwich" Gum pokes fun at joys of getting old.  Insight and experience coupled with regrets and lowered expectations.  Womp, womp.

Some days, when we're feeling especially nihilistic, we'd actually prefer the sandwich.  Those days are few and far between.  JUST KIDDING, they are every day and always! 
Sure getting old may be a privilege, but it also totally sucks!  Well at least it comes with some perks, like senior discounts, use of motorized scooters in public places, and being able to say whatever the hell you want to whoever the hell you want.
Includes 8 pieces of fruit flavored gum in a dainty box.  Measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.