Kitchen

In desperate need of a kitchen makeover?  Turn the crappiest kitchen into the happiest kitsch'en (see what we did there?) with our super fun and functional gifts!  

Clusterf*ck Dish Towel

$10.99

Embrace the almighty and apparently unavoidable clusterfuck with our Blue Q Clusterf*ck Dish Towel. Whether that clusterfuck refers to your disaster known as your kitchen, your day, your week, your love life, your lack of love life, your home, your...

Holy Sh*t I Love You Dish Towel

$10.99

Our Holy Shit I Love You Dish Towel features a pair of star-crossed lovers locking eyes across a crowded pasture. Or, a casual staring contest between buddies. You decide. Whether you like to spend time in the kitchen cooking, eating, or gabbing, this...

All Food Is Dog Food Dish Towel

$10.99

Our hilariously accurate All Food Is Dog Food Dish Towel is all it's barked up to be! Because, as any dog owner knows, there's no such thing as the 5 second rule when you have a dog around! If you have a furry 4 legged-vacuum cleaner you'll know exactly...

Spam Can Decoy Secret Safe

$12.49

No One Will Touch This! Trust us... not many are a fan of spam, email or otherwise.  (Even if the entire state of Hawaii tries to convince you.)  Once you leave paradise and find yourself land locked, it tastes like the block of who-knows-what...

B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel

$10.99

BTFU What may be an in-salt to some, our B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel is the perfect gift for the seasoned chef, who uses a heavy dose humor and wit. Featuring a colorful and classic repetitive design, it's reminiscent of our favorite...

I've Got A Knife Oven Mitt

$12.99

A cautionary kitchen accessory for those moments when there are too many cooks in the kitchen... our dead serious I've Got a Knife Oven Mitt has got your back! On the outside, you'll enjoy a pleasant pink panoramic scene with a vintage-inspired...

Spiked Tea Narwhal Tea Infuser

$9.99

Narwhal, Narwhal, swimming in your tea cup!  Causing a commotion because he is so awesome!​ No matter what time of the day or night it is, it's the perfect time to brew some tea with the unicorn/Jedi of the sea!  Our Spiked Tea Narwhal Tea...

Watermelon Cooler Bag

$24.99

Get ready to lose your rind! Our refreshingly fun Watermelon Cooler Bag is a totally non-seedy way to carry your cold ones!  Watermelon slice EVA-lined cooler Carries 12 standard sized cans Secure zipper closure Shoulder straps to free up your...

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and F*ck Off Oven Mitt

$12.99

Can you pass me some f*ck off? So we all know a few of those recipe robbers...  You know, the ones that will take and make your recipe then bask in all the glory!  Wars were started for less than this! Sure, I just use a little Parsley, Sage,...

Static Clean Retro TV Sponge Holder

$6.99

When static is useful! Our Static Clean Retro TV Sponge Holder is an homage to the days when TV only got three channels and one of them was always static! The good ole days when the only remote control y ou had at your disposal was forcing your younger...

Cute Little F*ckers Woodland Creature Dish Towel

$10.99

I Love Cooking For Those Cute Little Fuckers! Our Cute Little F*ckers Woodland Creature Dish Towel is like the center of a Venn diagram, in which the big circles are Norman Rockwell and Kinda Fucked Up. It's where your idyllic childhood and adulthood...

Hormel Chili Can Safe

$12.49

Beans are good at keeping people away! With our Hormel Chili Can Safe, your secret is safe with us! Most people keep a safe distance from beans, so you might as well take advantage of this fact, and exploit their gastric-intolerance by hiding your...

I Could Eat A Horse Handy Tote

$9.99

Like really really hungry... Sometimes I get so hungry, I fill up my I Could Eat A Horse Handy Tote with all the sandwiches I can make. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk shit to a horse because it will side-eye you like the...

Man With A Pan Oven Mitt

$12.99

A man with a plan pan! Why does "Man With A Pan" sound so concerning at first? Oh that's probably just a personal fear of mine materializing while I write this product description. At my house, "I cook... you clean" 9 out of 10 times results in my better...

The Food Has Weed In It Dish Towel

$12.99

I won't tell if you don't! I know, I know. You thought you were tasting the love, but really, it's weed. Our appetizing The Food Has Weed In It Woven Dish Towel lets everyone at your party know they're about to have a good time. Wink. Super-absorbent...

Uncanny Cocktail Wiener Erasers

$9.99

Oh, don't be such a weenie! Of course, our Uncanny Cocktail Wiener Erasers are the perfect departure gift from a less than admirable ex-boyfriend! Particularly after you discovered he was just a pig in a blanket. I mean, there are wurst things you...

Hangry Handy Lunch Tote

$9.99

If you don't watch out, somebody might get hurt.  That's right, I'm looking at you Veggie Burrito! If you're looking to own a lunch bag that screams equal parts cute and "get the heck out of my way, I need to eat!" we've got just the one for you!...

Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt

$12.99

Drop it like it's hot. Get ready to cook up some fun with our Droppin' A Recipe On Your Ass Oven Mitt! Whether you're a Pinterest Mistress or a natural born chef, you'll instantly become smitten with this mitten as it makes presenting your latest...

Oops, I'm Drunk Oven Mitt

$12.99

Wine and Dine There is truth in wine and our Oops, I'm Drunk Oven Mitt is telling it like it is! Wanna join me? I promise, the food's gonna taste wayyyy better this way. And fun loving gift for your tipsy cook!  Screen-printed in rich colors, Grape...

You're Beautiful Don't Change Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our delightful You're Beautiful Don't Change Oven Mitt is great for serving up tasty dishes and good vibes! You're beautiful just like the afternoon sky, a branch of flowers, or a friendly little bird. Actually, no. I take that back. Those things are...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

I Hate Everyone Too Oven Mitt

$12.99

We think our I Hate Everyone Too Oven Mitt is just about the greatest gift you can give to your best gossip dishing pal!  After all, what seals the deal for a life long friendship more than some key common interests and dislikes? On the outside,...

Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen Into A Shithole Dish Towel

$10.99

Put your shit in the sink! Dripping with sarcasm and spilled drinks our Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen into a Shithole Dish Towel is not messing around! There's nothing like a delightfully crass kitchen towel to greet your guests, as it proudly...

Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel

$10.99

Our deliciously distasteful Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel is just what the cook ordered! We don't need your half-baked ideas. Your pinch of advice, or dash of criticism. Mind your own plate and get out of our site before you become the main...

Mmmm Plus Eat Equals Meat Dish Towel

$12.99

If our math is correct... It's weird how math works, isn't it? Mmmm +  EAT = MEAT! This design has luxurious woven artwork, known as jacquard. The thread’s colors create the design for a sweet, tactile and vintage feel. This dish towel...

Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel

$12.99

Watch out for your ankles! Our Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel is coming right for ya, and will keep you on your toes in the kitchen! Would you just look at this kitty cat. So stinking pleased with herself because she's ripped the hell out your...

Water Logged Tree Stump Coasters

$7.99

What wood you do if someone ruined your favorite piece of furniture in the thick of your party?  Wood you be fluming mad and tell them cedar later or would you just leaf it alone? No need to branch out and find new friends just yet because our...

Hot Mess So Blessed Mug

$11.99

Glorious coffee cup! Good Lord, our Hot Mess So Blessed Mug is accurate! What a beautiful hot mess of a mug this is, and we can totally relate! Take a big gulp, and let your inside voice out with our Fred and Friend's Say Anything Hot Mess So Blessed Mug...

My Favorite Salad Is Wine Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our My Favorite Salad Is Wine Oven Mitt is grape for cooking drinking up a storm! Dinner, shminner. Lettuce just skip right to the good stuff! We're convinced... future generations will have figured out a way to grow bottles of wine - glass, cork...

You're Doing F*cking Great! Woven Dish Towel

$12.99

Inspire confidence and encourage laughter with our You're Doing Fucking Great! Woven Dish Towel! Don't settle for a basic dish rag. Dish towels are like the socks of the kitchen! So, go on and add some kick ass personality to your favorite room in the...

Ugly Christmas Sweater Mug

$14.99 $12.49

Ugly sweater, coffee and a dad bod! Our festive Ugly Sweater Mug puts you in a different class of clever. Not only does it hold a cup o’ joe, it has a removable sweater that unveils a totally bodacious Dad Bod. Winning top honors at the Ugly...

Doggy Bag Handy Lunch Tote

$9.99

After an evening of whining and dining, you can playfully bust out our totally fetching Doggy Bag Handy Tote to carry your leftovers home in! It's a DOGGY BAG. Get it??  Bone Appetit! (our apawlogies) This colorful and cheeky pooch tote can be used...

This Is My Protest Dish Towel

$10.99

Say it loud and proud with our This Is My Protest Dish Towel! You can start by protesting making dinner, doing the dishes, and march on from there. You're a force to be reckon with, so settle for a basic dish rag? It's the perfect gift for empowered...

Yo' I Secretly Like You A Little Extra Dish Towel

$10.99

Our 'Yo' I Secretly Like You A Little Extra Dish Towel is the perfect kitchen accessory for your Sunday Brunches and Last Suppers. (Too soon? Please forgive us.) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the awesome power of a huge,...

Let's Get Lit Holiday Beer Glass

$14.99 $12.49

My holiday is going to be very bright! Our Let's Get Lit LED Holiday Beer Glass makes holidays merry and bright! We took Getting Lit literally and put one of the best parts about the holidays in the palm of your hand. Our LED Holiday Beer Glass...

Wanderware Cocktail Shaker

$15.99

You may wonder where in the world you are, but no matter where the unbeaten path leads... you'll end up prepared for a swanky good time with our Wander Ware Cocktail Shaker! This 10-ounce rugged shaker is a tough and tumble enameled-steel drink mixer,...

Greetings From Lake Wine Dish Towel

$10.99

Our delightfully retro Greetings From Lake Wine Dish Towel is a nod to everyone's favorite vacation in a bottle. Now, don't tell anyone. We don't want this place overrun with tourists. This colorful kitchen towel resembles a postcard and features a...

Swan Pool Float-Tea Infuser

$14.99

Our floating Swan Pool Float-Tea Infuser will warm you up with sunbeam filled memories of summer, and freshly infused hot tea of course! Before executing a tired-and-true belly flop into your bed after a long winter's day, finish of your day with a...

Original Leafy Green Wake and Bake Mug

$23.99

Start your morning nice and toasty with our Wake and Bake Mug!  Getting up in the morning can be so hard... and the best part of waking up is hot java & kind bud in your mug! Our Wake & Bake Mug makes the process of mustering motivation in...

Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

You're filthy, wipe your mouth! It's time to put your money where your mouth is with our Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins! Refine your cocktail party experience with these high-quality, highfalutin napkins will keep you looking like a million bucks, even...

Horny For Food Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our saucy and swank Horny For Food Oven Mitt is a must for foodies everywhere! The tangerine and pink retro design of this cheeky oven mitt is begging you to find a man who looks at you the way this woman looks at her cookbooks. Scratch that. Just, like,...

I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

Resting Snack Face Handy Tote

$9.99

The lion's share of people will love this bag We'd be lion if we didn't think that everyone should have this Resting Snack Face Handy Tote. It's cute and holds stuff... most notably snacks! We love snacks! Who doesn't love snacks? This tote fits A LOT of...

My Safe Word Is Takeout Dish Towel

$10.99

Our My Safe Word Is Takeout Dish Towel addresses a serious(ly funny) issue. We know that, these days, Take-Out is still a taboo subject. But just because people aren't talking about it doesn't mean that they're not out there doing it. We're just saying...

Totally Pawesome Crazy Cat Lady Mug

$9.99

That Lady Is Crazy... For Cats! If you have cat lover in your life who's just a little itty bitty kitty obsessed with their fur babies, they totally knead this mug right MEOW! Our Totally Pawesome Crazy Cat Lady Mug, graced with purrfectly pink paw pads,...

Hey, Have You Tried Cheese Dish Towel

$10.99

Looking for a devilishly fun hostess gift? Our hell-arious Hey, Have You Tried Cheese Dish Towel is so damned cheesy, it will have you running for your lactaid even if you aren't lactose intolerent! An oddly relatable towel, featuring none other than the...

B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt

$12.99

B*tch is the new black Our B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the non-conforming, sometimes foul-mouthed, matriarch. We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that,...

Mr. Tea Infuser

$9.99

Your Mug Is His Hot Tub Throw some tea in your trousers!   Our Mr. Tea Infuser is fun and easy to use!   He's no fool!   Mr. Tea is the perfect tea-time companion for your afternoon tea.     Just load his little silicone pants...

Beer Bottle Opener Ring

$5.99 $3.99

Unbeerlievably Handy! Stop searching through drawers, put down that lighter, and for Pete's sake get that bottle away from your back teeth! Now you'll never be left without the ability to open a tasty micro brew or specialty beer when you have our...

Moist Say Anything Mug

$11.99

We love moist cake! Our delicately worded Moist Say Anything Mug will without a doubt cause a deeply visceral and guttural reaction in those with word sensitivities. For they would argue that this particular "Say Anything Mug should really be called a...

The Taco Truck Lunch Tote

$17.99

With our festive Taco Truck Lunch Tote in hand, you can forget about standing in line with the rest of your hombres at lunchtime! Make every lunch hour a tacotastic fiesta with our Taco ‘Bout Delicious Taco Truck Lunch Tote! Even if you...

Get Ready to Undo Your Pants Oven Mitt

$12.99

Time to cook up some fun. Our extra saucy Get Ready to Undo Your Pants Oven Mitt is ready to serve up the spiciest of dishes! Featuring an innocent yet flirty retro print with the words Get Ready to Undo Your Pants, this double entendre gets to the...

Hungover Mug

$11.99

Shhh... my head For every weekend morning, our Hungover Mug will be right there by your side, filling you up with your favorite beverage and hopefully helping with your current mood. Yes, you’ll make arrangements with yourself that you never want...

I Like Long, Romantic Walks To The Fridge Lunch Tote

$9.99

Our I Like Long, Romantic Walks To The Fridge Lunch Tote by Blue Q sums things up rather perfectly. You can take your moonlit beach and throw it in the ocean, we'll take the cool glow of our fridge! You too? Join the club (sandwich)! Fashioned in bright...

Unicorn Tea Infuser

$16.99 $11.49

Infuse your day with positivi-tea with our Unicorn Tea Infuser! This majestic rainbow maned beauty will magically turn hot water into a cup of tea! Just add tea leaves to this Unicorn Tea Infuser, and let this mythical one-horned creature turn...

Collapsible Dog Bowl

$9.99

 For pugs sake, this is adorable! A clever collapsible dog bowel! Our Howligans Collapsible Dog Bowl is a cute and  portable bowl for any adventure with your four-legged friend. It holds 12 ounces / 1.5 cups when fully expanded Collapses for...

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Baked with love weed You know who our The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt is perfect for... yep, grandma. With prescription prices criminally high, do you really think she's not baking in a little something something?! Make edibles or get out of the...

Say No To Salad Oven Mitt

$12.99

When a hog dog talks, you better listen... Why is our Say No To Salad Oven Mitt so brilliant? Because you should never be served a salad without specifically asking for one! After a long day at the office, kids screaming, jeans not fitting... the last...

Chow Time Black Cat Handy Tote

$9.99

Just us, or does the expression on our Chow Time Black Cat Handy Tote seem to be this kitty cat's response to who wants kittttty fooooood? Here kitty kitty! While we purffur a block of cheese, some dark chocolate, a fresh baguette, and some catbernet -...

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