Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist
Free + Fast Shipping + Transit Times
Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $49. $4.99 on orders under $49. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.
Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.
International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.
Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.
We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $49 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $49 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)
Time To Ship
Orders ship within 1 business day from our warehouse in Virginia. Delivery days are shown during checkout. We offer standard and rush delivery methods.
APO + FPO Addresses
We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.
Alaska + Hawaii
We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.
Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.
60 Day Returns
Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!
If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)
Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop
No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact!
Why? Because a little Pootin goes a long way! It will cover your filthy secrets and bring odor to its knees! While it may not wrestle bears, it will be a glorious addition to your bathroom.
We go to great lengths to protect your peace of mind and privacy, and craft this product in the time-honored tradition. We recommend two quick mists and a discreet exit. No one will suspect you of tampering with a thing.
Delicate scent of light jasmine and red tea. Plastic bottle. Measures 6 inches high x 1.75 inch diam. 5.3 fl. oz. Made in USA. (Not Russia despite what you have heard from your comrades, we have no relationship with that country.)