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Congratulations On Maintaining Such a Low Level of Maturity Birthday Card

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Original price $3.99 - Original price $3.99
Original price
$3.99 - $3.99
Current price $3.99

Take 10% OFF your order with coupon HAPPY2023

Free Shipping + Transit Times

Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $49. $4.99 on orders under $49. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.

Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.

International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.

Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.


Free Shipping

We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $49 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $49 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)

Time To Ship

Orders ship within 1 business day from our warehouse in Virginia. Delivery days are shown during checkout. We offer standard and rush delivery methods.

APO + FPO Addresses

We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.

Alaska + Hawaii

We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.

International Shipping

Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.

60 Day Returns

Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!

If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)

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Up high, down low, you're too slow!

Our Congratulations On Maintaining Such a Low Level of Maturity Birthday Card celebrates the survival of your inner juvenile delinquent that successfully escaped the permanent detention hall known as social conditioning. Too bad, so sad!

Of course depending on your relationship you have with whoever is on the receiving end this card - it could have an entirely different meaning. If you are particularly skilled in sarcasm, for example, it may leave your low-life ex scratching their pea-brain filled monkey heads. (no offense to monkey heads)

Front of card:

  • Greeting says: Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity
  • Illustrated with a prismatic explosion of colors

Inside of card:

  • Greeting says: Don't ever change! Happy Birthday
  • Light purple framed in bursts of muted rainbow colors


  • Matching ArtVelope. Vibrantly printed with rainbow starbursts

Super eco friendly!

  • 100% post-consumer recycled paper card/envelope. VOC-free vegetable-based vibra-color printing. 100% print/production via solar energy. Unbleached Kraft envelope produced from 80% reclaimed wheat straw.

Made in the USA! Full-color card measures 4 inches wide x 6 inches tall. Our Congratulations On Maintaining Such a Low Level of Maturity Birthday Card is a welcome pat on the back.

Perpetual Kid Reviews from Google