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Congrats On Your Brand New Poop Machine! Baby Card

in stock, ready to ship
Original price $5.49 - Original price $5.49
Original price
$5.49 - $5.49
Current price $5.49


Enter coupon code USA on your order of $40+ (before shipping)

📦 Free Shipping + Transit Times

Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $49. $4.99 on orders under $49. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.

Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.

International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.

Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.


Free Shipping

We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $49 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $49 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)

Time To Ship

Orders ship within 1 business day from our warehouse in Virginia. Delivery days are shown during checkout. We offer standard and rush delivery methods.

APO + FPO Addresses

We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.

Alaska + Hawaii

We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.

International Shipping

Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.

❤️ 60 Day Returns - Love it or return it!

Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!

If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)

For shits and baby giggles

Because parenthood is a real gas (with lots of wiping ass), our cheeky Poop Machine New Baby Card is just what the stork delivered!

While some of us are content to celebrate the delivery of our Amazon packages on time, others choose to go way overboard celebrating the delivery of their tiny poop machines. (Some people really know how to have a good time.)

  • Congrats on the Poop Machine New Baby Card
  • Front Reads: DELIVERY! Congrats on your brand new pooping machine!
  • Illustration: Features a classic vintage image of a spectacled stork getting ready to drop off a little bundle of joy with the lucky parents
  • Inside of Card: Blank for a personalized message.
  • Printed on top-notch creme paper and paired with a shimmery copper envelope
  • Forest friendly and printed with vibrant soy-based inks
  • Made in the USA!

Everybody poops, and sometimes on the delivery table... but that's a messy subject... and so is parenthood! The important thing is your friend has had (or is about to have) a baby, so it's time to show up the rest of the baby shower attendees with your superior card-finding skills.

Includes one A2 size folded card, printed on premium 100lb paper. Measures 4.25 inches wide x 5.5 inches tall. Our Congrats On Your Brand New Poop Machine! Baby Cardis the cheekiest of the bunch.