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Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition

Out of stock
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Original price $8.99 - Original price $8.99
Original price
$8.99 - $8.99
Current price $8.99

Take 10% OFF your order with coupon HAPPY2023

Free Shipping + Transit Times

Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $49. $4.99 on orders under $49. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.

Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.

International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.

Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.


Free Shipping

We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $49 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $49 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)

Time To Ship

Orders ship within 1 business day from our warehouse in Virginia. Delivery days are shown during checkout. We offer standard and rush delivery methods.

APO + FPO Addresses

We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.

Alaska + Hawaii

We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.

International Shipping

Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.

60 Day Returns

Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!

If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)

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What Jesus really wanted for his birthday.

In the spirit of the holidays capitalism, our delightfully irreverent Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition celebrates this ho-ho-horrendous time of year with colors that accurately reflect the awkwardness of the holiday season. We promise this set is a marginally better gift than the $10 Starbucks card you planned to give Karen in HR.

  • Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Really offensive Christmas Stocking Stuffer for ADULTS
  • Reflect on the misery that the holiday season brings your life, with colors that perfectly complement it!
  • 24 offensively named crayons in assorted colors (or at least 22-23 different, since they used the cheapest labor they could find)
  • Made by Santa's Little Elves (more than likely, a small, underpaid child in China)
  • Non-toxic, gluten-free (probably), vegan (we think), we might as well call them "organic"
  • A delightfully irreverent stocking stuffer or white elephant gift for the consummate Grinch, asshole, atheist, or funny AF friend on your holiday list!

Probably includes 24 crayons. These ARE OFFENSIVE crayons. Do not be surprised if there are a few crayons that are actually OFFENSIVE. A hilariously designed pack of crayons measures 1.1-inch deep x 4.4 inches tall w x 2.6 inches wide. Putting the ho back in holidays, our Offensive Crayons are the love child of Not Narrow or Straight LLC.

Perpetual Kid Reviews from Google