Skip to content
Shop our Sale!
Shop our Sale!

Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition

Sold Out
Original price $8.99 - Original price $8.99
Original price
$8.99
$8.99 - $8.99
Current price $8.99
Availability:
Out Of Stock

What Jesus really wanted for his birthday.

In the spirit of the holidays capitalism, our delightfully irreverent Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition celebrates this ho-ho-horrendous time of year with colors that accurately reflect the awkwardness of the holiday season. We promise this set is a marginally better gift than the $10 Starbucks card you planned to give Karen in HR.

  • Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Really offensive Christmas Stocking Stuffer for ADULTS
  • Reflect on the misery that the holiday season brings your life, with colors that perfectly complement it!
  • 24 offensively named crayons in assorted colors (or at least 22-23 different, since they used the cheapest labor they could find)
  • Made by Santa's Little Elves (more than likely, a small, underpaid child in China)
  • Non-toxic, gluten-free (probably), vegan (we think), we might as well call them "organic"
  • A delightfully irreverent stocking stuffer or white elephant gift for the consummate Grinch, asshole, atheist, or funny AF friend on your holiday list!

Probably includes 24 crayons. These ARE OFFENSIVE crayons. Do not be surprised if there are a few crayons that are actually OFFENSIVE. A hilariously designed pack of crayons measures 1.1-inch deep x 4.4 inches tall w x 2.6 inches wide. Putting the ho back in holidays, our Offensive Crayons are the love child of Not Narrow or Straight LLC.

Free + Same Day Shipping

Free Shipping on orders of 75+. Your order will ship the same day from our warehouse in Virginia if received by 11AM EST. See details.

Small Business

Thank you for supporting a small business! Perpetual Kid is celebrating our 20th anniversary!