Shakespearean Insult Bandages
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Add Elizabethan Insult to Injury!
Though thou art a bedraggled, folly-fallen ratsbane, still may thy wounds be bound with our Shakespearean Insult Bandages! These plasters (forsooth, the British say so) shall soothe thy hurts, be they from sword or stinging wit. Let the healing hand of William Shakespeare attend thee now!
- 15 sterile bandages to mend thy wounds
- Adorned with the Bard's visage and biting insults
- Perfect for knaves, varlets, and scurvy wretches
- Comes in a collectible, reusable tin
- A prize awaiteth thee within!
Prepare thyself, for these bandages doth hurl insults most humorous and theatrical, such as:
- "Do thou amend my face, and I'll amend my life." Henry IV, Part I
- "Thy wit's as thick as Tewksbury mustard." Henry IV, Part II
- "Thou art a knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats" King Lear
Thou shalt feel as though thou art seated in the Globe Theater with every scrape and fall upon thy knee! Best of all, a token of delight doth accompany each tin!
Within this tin lie fifteen bandages, free from latex, each measuring three inches in length by one inch in width. And lo, a prize awaiteth thee within, alongside our Shakespearean Insult Bandages