Soap for a Midlife Crisis
Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $75. $4.99 on orders under $75. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.
Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.
International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.
Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.
We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $75 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $75 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)
Time To Ship
APO + FPO Addresses
We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.
Alaska + Hawaii
We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.
Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.
60 Day Returns
Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!
If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)
Payment Methods + Secure Checkout
No need to re-enter your information! Check out quickly and safely with Apple Pay, Paypal, Amazon Pay, Meta, G Pay or Shop payment or your prefered credit card.
Will not fade new tattoos!
Our Soap for a Midlife Crisis smells like a motorcycle, or a perm or maybe even a food truck. Whatever it is, you're throwing caution to the wind and finally going for it. And not a second too soon. Your chances of getting hit by a bus just keep going up and nobody wants to die without at least experiencing the magic of a spiral perm.
We have all known a few people that have been in complete denial of having a midlife crisis. Maybe you've had one too? No, not you... not yet. Wait, have you become an instant scotch whiskey enthusiast or have you started thinking about a wall aquarium in the kid's room for seven pit vipers?
- Kumquat Tree Scented
- 6 oz bar of Soap for a Midlife Crisis
- Mild on recent piercings and won't fade new tattoos
- All soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical
All soaps are hand-poured, no two bars are identical. 6 oz bar of Soap for a Midlife Crisis. Kumquat Tree scented.