Blow Out The Candles Before They Singe Our Chin Hairs Birthday Card $4.99 Sometimes getting old really blows! The hilarious Blow Out The Candles Before They Singe Our Chin Hairs Off is the perfect birthday card to show you understand the sudden trauma of finding those random hairs. Seriously, with all of the...
Happy Golden Years Golden Girls Greeting Card $4.99 Everything is coming up Rose’s Take the sting out of turning another year older, with our Happy Golden Years Card! How could you possibly have a bad day with Rose Nyland wishing you a happy birthday? The mere sight of her angelic face conjures up...
I Love You To Uranus And Back Greeting Card $4.99 What? It's not dirty... How much do I love you? I Love You To Uranus And Back! There's nothing better than having a loved one that would appreciate this humor. Inside: Uranus is further than the moon and more fun to say. Eco-friendly...
May These Crystals Heal The Sh*t Out Of You Greeting Card $4.99 Holy shit, I can feel it! Send our May These Crystals Heal The Shit Out Of You Greeting Card to any friend who isn't feeling well or needs some positive energy! It's a great card to lift spirits! Harness the power of the crystals that are pictured on...
Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card $4.99 Happy you-wrecked-your-mom Day! Give your friends the Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card because saying Happy Cake Day is just too normal nowadays! It's just a fun reminder that they were pushed out of their mom on this day. Let's celebrate! Thank...
Deer A**hole Greeting Card $4.99 Deer A**hole, return my calls Our funny, but frank, Deer A**hole Greeting Card is definitely a card for those friends and family who love to laugh. A great card for when someone does something (they know what they did) and it needs to be called out with...
Drunk Dialing At Four AM Greeting Card $4.99 But I looooove you! If I didn't drink then how would you know I love you at four AM? Oh boy! Thank goodness this greeting card exists... How else would you play off one of your girlfriends telling you about their drunkin' call to an ex or even a new...
Happy Birthday To My Prettiest Friend Birthday Card $4.99 We wouldn't want anyone to feel bad! Happy Birthday To My Prettiest Friend! Don't show any of our other friends this card. I swear it's not because they all receive the same card on their birthdays! Blank inside for a personal...
Never Gonna Give You Up Card $4.99 I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Our 1980's retro Never Gonna Give You Up Card is a great way to Rick-Roll someone but it's also a really nice way to say that you care! Plus, once someone opens this card... the ear worm that won't go away for days!...
Passive Aggressive Congrats On The New Job Greeting Card $4.99 Congrats on the new job Hope everyone enjoys your passive aggressive emails as much as we have! Includes the top hits of the inbox: Per my last email... Correct me if I'm wrong... Would you like me to forward it back to you? I've CC's my...
Relax! After All You're The F*cking Birthday Girl Card $4.99 Shut the door and have some me time! Seriously. Relax! After All You're The Fucking Birthday Girl! You probably haven't had time to pee without interruption in years. Take today, you deserve it! Made in the USA! Printed on premium...
Senior Citizen Bingo Birthday Card $4.99 Is this what they call music nowadays? As we grow older, the aches and pains start to find their way into our regular lives. The hilarious Senior Citizen Bingo Greeting Card is a good way for everyone to have a good laugh at our own discomfort. A...
You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card $4.99 Happy squeezing out day! Remind everyone where they really came from and send them some birthday love with our You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card. It's a miracle... but kind of a gross miracle. Today is the day you were squeezed out of...
5 Rules for Happiness, Or Just Smoke A Little Weed Greeting Card $4.99 We're stoked about this card! We'ed bet you have a few friends that would totally relate to our 5 Rules for Happiness, Or Just Smoke A Little Weed Greeting Card. It wouldn't be cool to know the recipe for happiness and not share it with all of your...
Do No Harm But Take No Sh*t Greeting Card $4.99 The definition of harm can be a little forgiving... Nope, not gonna take bullshit from anyone standing in my way! Our Do No Harm But Take No Shit Greeting Card is perfect for celebrating the inner female warrior! Made in the USA! Printed on...
Don't Be So Hard On Yourself, You Stupid Idiot Greeting Card $4.99 Ugh, You're such a dummy! Of all people, you are the last one that should be hard on yourself! If you have a friend you can send this card to... you have won the friendship lottery! The in-your-face bold statement should get your point across...
How Do You Keep Getting Hotter Every Year Birthday Card $4.99 Damn girl, Mother Earth is looking hot! The tongue-in-cheek How Do You Keep Getting Hotter Every Year Birthday Card (carbon) is the perfect birthday card for folks that just seems to get more attractive as they age! Wouldn't we all appreciate a...
I Hate Babies, But I'm Still Pretty Happy For You! Greeting Card $4.99 It's just that they scare me... You're going to be a great parent, and that's cool... I Hate Babies, But I'm Still Pretty Happy For You! Since you know I will never babysit, change diapers, or help you burp your baby... please accept this card as...
I Know Things Are Sort Of A Dumpster Fire Right Now Greeting Card $4.99 Life a dumpster fire? Roast marshmallows! Sometimes life gives us lemons and we make lemonade, but then there are times that the I Know Things Are Sort Of A Dumpster Fire Right Now Greeting Card is necessary. It's those moments that are so bad that we...
I Pooped In Your Bed Greeting Card $5.99 Need a laugh? Our I Pooped In Your Bed Cat Greeting Card is perfect for sending to your favorite cat lady for any occasion! This krafty card has a cute and quirky three-dimensional coned kitty! A high quality rainbow striped envelope makes this card a...
I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies Birthday Card $4.99 Get me my glasses and an ibuprofen... I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies... Getting older is actually pretty cool with all of the life lessons and knowledge you've gained. Unfortunately the trade off kinda sucks. We should...
Kicking Ass + Taking Names Greeting Card $4.99 Boss lady takes no prisoners! Our celebratory Kicking Ass and Taking Names Greeting Card is a fantastic gift to someone is getting that big promotion or is adding names to the shit list! This boss lady isn't slowing down, she's kicking ass and taking...
Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card $4.99 Weed, cheese and wine... oh my! Our celebratory Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card is the perfect birthday card for a close puff-pass friend! Let's get stoned! I mean... let's a nice bottle of wine and some fancy cheese! Honestly, I'm...
OMG Gold Foil Greeting Card $5.99 Omg! Like omg, our OMG Gold Foil Greeting Card is gorgeous! It features glistening foiled detail, 3D elements and a fabulous printed envelope! The striking stripped envelope makes this ultra luxurious super feminine card a "ohmygod becky" gift by...
Shut The Front Door Greeting Card $4.99 You thought I was going to say shut the f*ck up! Shout your excitement at someone with a totally sassy and fowl language innuendo. Made in the USA Measures 4.5 X 6 inches Kraft envelope Blank inside Our Shut The Front Door Greeting Card...
Thanks A Buttload Cat Butt Thank You Card $4.99 Nothing Butt Thanks! It goes with out saying that the Thanks a Buttload Card sent with a cat's butt on it is so much better than a card without a cat's butt. A purr-fect thank you card to send to anyone that helped you out when you kneaded it. The...
Top Secret File Decoder Birthday Card $5.99 I spy with my little eye... Our Top Secret File Decoder Birthday Card! Maybe you have a funny, secret, inside joke to tell, or have something to say that prying eyes should never read, or you just really feel like messing with them! Banana! Whatever the...
We Go Together Like Drunk + Disorderly Friendship Card $3.99 You can't spell "weird" without "we" It's always a good time to reach out to your best friends with our We Go Together Like Drunk + Disorderly Friendship Card. Maybe it's time to do a one-on-one catch up or it's time to get the gang back together?...
You're Leaving! Co-worker Going Away Greeting Card $4.99 You're leaving! I hope you're considerably better at your new job than you were at this one! Now that would be terribly mean to give this card to a co-worker that was actually crappy at their job. Please only use the power of this card for...
You're the One That I Want Grease Greeting Card $4.99 And my heart is set on you Send your love with this electrifying You're the One That I Want Greeting Card and say "oooh oooh oooh, HONEY"! It's the perfect love card for many occasions including Valentine's Day, anniversary and just being sweet...
1980's Retro Fanny Pack Greeting + Money Holder Card $5.99 Zach Morris called. He wants his fanny pack back. Our totally rad 1980's Retro Fanny Pack Greeting + Money Holder Card let's your gift recipient know that you think they're absolutely fanny-tastic! Ah, the good ole days! Wham!, Duran Duran,...
Barbie's Measurements Are 39-23-33 Birthday Card $4.99 What were the thinking?! Life is so much better when you aren't occupied with trying to achieve Barbie's measurements... besides, you will NEVER be able to get down to 11.5 inches tall! Inside: That’s why we always gave her a bad haircut. Happy...
Congrats On Another 365 Days Without Adulting Birthday Card $4.99 Well done! Congratulations On Successfully Making It Another 365 Days Without Adulting! Please note: if you are over 25 and your parents hand deliver this to your "apartment" in the basement... it might actually be sarcasm. If you're an amazing,...
Happy Birthday To A Bad*ss Card $4.99 You're an ass, but in a good way! Our Happy Birthday To A Badass Mother Fucker Card is absolutely not appropriate for your grandma... Even if she is a badass, we have nicer cards with different ways of saying that! Made in the USA! Printed on...
I Love Your Penis, It's The Best Greeting Card $4.99 It's an outstanding quality you possess! I know I've told you hundreds of times what I love about you, but this one may have slipped by... Made in the USA! Printed on premium 100lb creme colored goodness paper Printed with soy based...
Is This Some Sort Of Unofficial Awesome People Convention Greeting Card $4.99 It must be... I'm here! Looking around, this is going to be a pretty dumb questions but... Is This Some Sort Of Unofficial Awesome People Convention? Such a cute greeting card that works for almost any occasion! Handmade in the USA Printed...
Maybe Eating Carbs Would Help Encouragement Card $4.99 I'll have a loaf of bread and some of those cupcakes! Our comforting, because it's true, Maybe Eating Carbs Would Help Encouragement Card gives the a-okay to indulge in a little emotional sugar consumption! Sometimes you just need the comfort of...
Old School Greeting Card Set $14.99 Dropping old school beats Send a personal note to your friends with our Old School Stationery Set. Reminiscent of school days from another era, way before learning to type before learning how to write! Teachers love to get notes on these...
OMG! It's Your Birthday Card $4.99 Divine birthday wishes from upper management! Even Jesus is excited when you send the OMG! It's Your Birthday Card to your friends! What a surprise when they open up the card and see that you remembered their birthday! So, snap up a stash of this...
Pterribly Awesome Birthday Card $4.99 Pterrific way to celebrate! Send birthday wishes with this Pterribly Awesome Birthday Card. Featuring a magenta pterodactyl soaring on the cover, it's a fun card playing on the silent "P" in the name. Great birthday card for dinosaur and prehistoric...
You Can Have Your Cake , After All It's Your F*cking Birthday Card $4.99 I many even go for seconds... Our You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It Too!!! After All It's Your Fucking Birthday Card perfectly defines that strong bitch in your life that deserves a day of everything goes. Although we are for eating cake 365 days a year,...
You're A Peach Of Ass Greeting Card $4.99 You're a hot peach of ass! I was having a pretty peachy day and thought I'd send you a card... Just a card to let you know how sweet you are and ummm ahhhhh... That Ass Though! Blank inside for personal note Eco-friendly...
You're A Total Keeper 80's Retro Greeting Card $4.99 Trapper Keepers were so cool! Send the You're a Total Keeper Love & Friendship Card to someone to let them know that they're a total keeper! The rainbow Trapper Keeper was possibly everyone's favorite and it was used til it fell apart. So don't let...
You've Figured Out Where Babies Come From Greeting Card $4.99 So now your dad knows you "did it"... Knowing your parents (or maybe even being one of them)... I'm pretty sure you learned about the birds and the bees from the school yard or episodes of 90210! Congratulations on figuring out how it...
80's Pop Music Happy Birthday Card $4.99 Like, have a rad birthday! This choice 80's Pop Music Happy Birthday Card is an awesome way to celebrate a top-of-the-charts birthday with some of the coolest 80's pop stars! Let's go crazy and express yourself with this totally awesome card...
Birthday Greetings, May These Crystal Heal The Shit Out Of You $4.99 Is that damn Mercury in retograde again? Birthday Greetings, May These Crystal Heal The Shit Out Of You! A few rose quartz, a good helping of turquoise and definitely like a ton of obsidian to protect you from negative shit. Made in the...
Congratulations On Maintaining Such a Low Level of Maturity Birthday Card $3.99 Up high, down low, you're too slow! Our Congratulations On Maintaining Such a Low Level of Maturity Birthday Card celebrates the survival of your inner juvenile delinquent that successfully escaped the permanent detention hall known as social...
Hope You're Feline Better Soon Glitter Greeting Card $5.99 You've just got to stay paw-sitive! Our Hope You're Feline Better Soon Glitter Greeting Card is purr-fectly adorable to a friend that's under the weather! There's nothing a cat hates worse than a collar... but this cool cat is rocking it...
I Like You a Waffle Lot Greeting Card $4.99 I don't feel Waffle when you're around Send our delish I Like You a Waffle Lot Greeting Card to that special someone and put a smile on their face! Are waffles just pancakes with abs? What better way to say that life is butter when we're together. ...
I Like You As Much Cat Videos Greeting Card $4.99 I'm fur-tunate to know you! We're not kitten you... Show your affection for your friend, significant other, family member, and most importantly cat videos *meow!*. Purr-haps this adorable kitty card will help you understand just how much you mean to me! ...
High Fives 80's Aerobics Greeting Card $4.99 Yes! High Fives! Brighten someone's day with the High Fives Card. It could be a thank you, get better or just a fun how are you message. Never doubt the power and glory of jazz hands and high fives! Joy is just bursting out of this card! And one, and...
Prick Cactus Greeting Card $5.99 You’re looking sharp! Even been insulted by a cactus? Someone is about to be... Our Prick Cactus Greeting Card is adorned with a three-dimensional smart-ass cactus that has something to say, "PRICK!" The high quality matching rainbow striped...
Shoot For The Stars Because They Are So Twinkly + Smug Greeting Card $4.99 OMG Becky, look how smug that star is! Our Shoot For The Stars Because They Are So Twinkly And Smug Greeting Card is a fantastic and fun way to send encouragement. Let them know that you're behind them all the way! Birthday card reads - Shoot for the...
The World is Full of Idiots. Except Us. We Are Awesome Greeting Card $4.99 In computer terms that's an ID10T ( I-D-Ten-T-Error) I've been around the block a few times and I can state, as a fact, that The World is Full of Idiots. Except Us. We Are Awesome. Made in the USA! Printed on premium 100lb creme colored...
Happy Birthday Honey Bear Retro Greeting Card $3.99 You're so sweet to bear with me, honey. Our Happy Birthday, Honey Bear Card is the perfect gift to let your honey bear know that you care! This sweet card features mid-century modern art design with an old fashioned honey bear dispenser on the front.....
I Am Soooo Fucking Proud of You Greeting Card $4.99 You are a f'ing rock star in my book! Send our I Am Soooo Fucking Proud of You Greeting Card to let some know how serious you are about how you proud you are! Graduation, leaving a dead beat dude, new job... it works for just about any reason to...
Mister Rogers You Are Special Birthday Card $4.99 Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Mister Rogers always had a nice way to say everything and anything! Send a birthday greeting with our Mister Rogers You Are Special Greeting Card. Everyone is special to someone in their own way. Front features a...
We've Been Friends Since Our Numbers Were Listed $4.99 Ring a ding ding! I'm not saying were old... but I did see my old phone being sold as vintage on Ebay! Friends like you are as hard to find as a new phone book! Blank inside Eco-friendly materials Made in the USA Printed on...
You are Strong, Fearless + Badass, I'm So F*cking Proud Of You Card $4.99 You are f'ing amazing! Not everyone deserves to be gifted with our You are Strong, Fearless + Badass... In Other Words... I'm So F*cking Proud Of You Greeting Card. Think of it as a fine bottle of wine... or gin! You can't just water...
You Are Such A B*tch! You Don't Look A Day Older Birthday Card $4.99 Happy Birthday! You look amazing... So if you could just let me know your secret, or your plastic surgeon's business card that would be great! You Are Such A Bitch! You Don't Look A Day Older Than You Did 10 Years Ago! Made in the...
