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Greeting Cards

Don't forget to get the perfect greeting card!

I Love You To Uranus And Back Greeting Card

$4.99

What? It's not dirty... How much do I love you? I Love You To Uranus And Back! There's nothing better than having a loved one that would appreciate this humor. Inside: Uranus is further than the moon and more fun to say.  Eco-friendly...

May These Crystals Heal The Sh*t Out Of You Greeting Card

$4.99

Holy shit, I can feel it! Send our May These Crystals Heal The Shit Out Of You Greeting Card to any friend who isn't feeling well or needs some positive energy! It's a great card to lift spirits! Harness the power of the crystals that are pictured on...

Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy you-wrecked-your-mom Day! Give your friends the Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card because saying Happy Cake Day is just too normal nowadays! It's just a fun reminder that they were pushed out of their mom on this day. Let's celebrate! Thank...

Deer A**hole Greeting Card

$4.99

Deer A**hole, return my calls Our funny, but frank, Deer A**hole Greeting Card is definitely a card for those friends and family who love to laugh. A great card for when someone does something (they know what they did) and it needs to be called out with...

Drunk Dialing At Four AM Greeting Card

$4.99

But I looooove you! If I didn't drink then how would you know I love you at four AM? Oh boy! Thank goodness this greeting card exists... How else would you play off one of your girlfriends telling you about their drunkin' call to an ex or even a new...

Happy Birthday To My Prettiest Friend Birthday Card

$4.99

We wouldn't want anyone to feel bad!  Happy Birthday To My Prettiest Friend! Don't show any of our other friends this card.  I swear it's not because they all receive the same card on their birthdays!   Blank inside for a personal...

Passive Aggressive Congrats On The New Job Greeting Card

$4.99

Congrats on the new job Hope everyone enjoys your passive aggressive emails as much as we have! Includes the top hits of the inbox: Per my last email... Correct me if I'm wrong... Would you like me to forward it back to you? I've CC's my...

Relax! After All You're The F*cking Birthday Girl Card

$4.99

Shut the door and have some me time! Seriously.  Relax! After All You're The Fucking Birthday Girl!  You probably haven't had time to pee without interruption in years.  Take today, you deserve it! Made in the USA! Printed on premium...

You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy squeezing out day! Remind everyone where they really came from and send them some birthday love with our You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card. It's a miracle... but kind of a gross miracle. Today is the day you were squeezed out of...

5 Rules for Happiness, Or Just Smoke A Little Weed Greeting Card

$4.99

We're stoked about this card! We'ed bet you have a few friends that would totally relate to our 5 Rules for Happiness, Or Just Smoke A Little Weed Greeting Card. It wouldn't be cool to know the recipe for happiness and not share it with all of your...

Do No Harm But Take No Sh*t Greeting Card

$4.99

  The definition of harm can be a little forgiving... Nope, not gonna take bullshit from anyone standing in my way! Our Do No Harm But Take No Shit Greeting Card is perfect for celebrating the inner female warrior! Made in the USA! Printed on...

Don't Be So Hard On Yourself, You Stupid Idiot Greeting Card

$4.99

Ugh, You're such a dummy! Of all people, you are the last one that should be hard on yourself!  If you have a friend you can send this card to... you have won the friendship lottery!  The in-your-face bold statement should get your point across...

I Pooped In Your Bed Greeting Card

$5.99

Need a laugh? Our I Pooped In Your Bed Cat Greeting Card is perfect for sending to your favorite cat lady for any occasion! This krafty card has a cute and quirky three-dimensional coned kitty! A high quality rainbow striped envelope makes this card a...

Kicking Ass + Taking Names Greeting Card

$4.99

Boss lady takes no prisoners! Our celebratory Kicking Ass and Taking Names Greeting Card is a fantastic gift to someone is getting that big promotion or is adding names to the shit list! This boss lady isn't slowing down, she's kicking ass and taking...

Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card

$4.99

Weed, cheese and wine... oh my! Our celebratory Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card is the perfect birthday card for a close puff-pass friend! Let's get stoned! I mean... let's a nice bottle of wine and some fancy cheese! Honestly, I'm...

Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card

$4.99

If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one. Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not...

OMG Gold Foil Greeting Card

$5.99

Omg! Like omg, our OMG Gold Foil Greeting Card is gorgeous! It features glistening foiled detail, 3D elements and a fabulous printed envelope! The striking stripped envelope makes this ultra luxurious super feminine card a "ohmygod becky" gift by...

Shut The Front Door Greeting Card

$4.99

You thought I was going to say shut the f*ck up! Shout your excitement at someone with a totally sassy and fowl language innuendo. Made in the USA Measures 4.5 X 6 inches Kraft envelope Blank inside Our Shut The Front Door Greeting Card...

Thanks A Buttload Cat Butt Thank You Card

$4.99

Nothing Butt Thanks! It goes with out saying that the Thanks a Buttload Card sent with a cat's butt on it is so much better than a card without a cat's butt. A purr-fect thank you card to send to anyone that helped you out when you kneaded it. The...

Top Secret File Decoder Birthday Card

$5.99

I spy with my little eye... Our Top Secret File Decoder Birthday Card! Maybe you have a funny, secret, inside joke to tell, or have something to say that prying eyes should never read, or you just really feel like messing with them! Banana! Whatever the...

We Go Together Like Drunk + Disorderly Friendship Card

$3.99

You can't spell "weird" without "we" It's always a good time to reach out to your best friends with our We Go Together Like Drunk + Disorderly Friendship Card. Maybe it's time to do a one-on-one catch up or it's time to get the gang back together?...

You're Leaving! Co-worker Going Away Greeting Card

$4.99

You're leaving! I hope you're considerably better at your new job than you were at this one! Now that would be terribly mean to give this card to a co-worker that was actually crappy at their job.   Please only use the power of this card for...

1980's Retro Fanny Pack Greeting + Money Holder Card

$5.99

Zach Morris called. He wants his fanny pack back. Our totally rad 1980's Retro Fanny Pack Greeting + Money Holder Card let's your gift recipient know that you think they're absolutely fanny-tastic!  Ah, the good ole days! Wham!, Duran Duran,...

Barbie's Measurements Are 39-23-33 Birthday Card

$4.99

What were the thinking?! Life is so much better when you aren't occupied with trying to achieve Barbie's measurements... besides, you will NEVER be able to get down to 11.5 inches tall! Inside: That’s why we always gave her a bad haircut. Happy...

Congrats On Another 365 Days Without Adulting Birthday Card

$4.99

Well done! Congratulations On Successfully Making It Another 365 Days Without Adulting! Please note: if you are over 25 and your parents hand deliver this to your "apartment" in the basement... it might actually be sarcasm.  If you're an amazing,...

Happy Birthday To A Bad*ss Card

$4.99

You're an ass, but in a good way! Our Happy Birthday To A Badass Mother Fucker Card is absolutely not appropriate for your grandma... Even if she is a badass, we have nicer cards with different ways of saying that! Made in the USA! Printed on...

I Love Your Penis, It's The Best Greeting Card

$4.99

It's an outstanding quality you possess! I know I've told you hundreds of times what I love about you, but this one may have slipped by...  Made in the USA! Printed on premium 100lb creme colored goodness paper Printed with soy based...

Maybe Eating Carbs Would Help Encouragement Card

$4.99

I'll have a loaf of bread and some of those cupcakes! Our comforting, because it's true, Maybe Eating Carbs Would Help Encouragement Card gives the a-okay to indulge in a little emotional sugar consumption! Sometimes you just need the comfort of...

OMG! It's Your Birthday Card

$4.99

Divine birthday wishes from upper management!  Even Jesus is excited when you send the OMG! It's Your Birthday Card to your friends! What a surprise when they open up the card and see that you remembered their birthday! So, snap up a stash of this...

You're A Peach Of Ass Greeting Card

$4.99

You're a hot peach of ass! I was having a pretty peachy day and thought I'd send you a card...  Just a card to let you know how sweet you are and ummm ahhhhh... That Ass Though!   Blank inside for personal note Eco-friendly...

You're A Total Keeper 80's Retro Greeting Card

$4.99

Trapper Keepers were so cool! Send the You're a Total Keeper Love & Friendship Card to someone to let them know that they're a total keeper! The rainbow Trapper Keeper was possibly everyone's favorite and it was used til it fell apart. So don't let...

You've Figured Out Where Babies Come From Greeting Card

$4.99

So now your dad knows you "did it"... Knowing your parents (or maybe even being one of them)... I'm pretty sure you learned about the birds and the bees from the school yard or episodes of 90210! Congratulations on figuring out how it...

Hope You're Feline Better Soon Glitter Greeting Card

$5.99

You've just got to stay paw-sitive! Our Hope You're Feline Better Soon Glitter Greeting Card is purr-fectly adorable to a friend that's under the weather!  There's nothing a cat hates worse than a collar... but this cool cat is rocking it...

I Like You a Waffle Lot Greeting Card

$4.99

I don't feel Waffle when you're around Send our delish I Like You a Waffle Lot Greeting Card to that special someone and put a smile on their face! Are waffles just pancakes with abs? What better way to say that life is butter when we're together. ...

I Like You As Much Cat Videos Greeting Card

$4.99

I'm fur-tunate to know you! We're not kitten you... Show your affection for your friend, significant other, family member, and most importantly cat videos *meow!*. Purr-haps this adorable kitty card will help you understand just how much you mean to me! ...

High Fives 80's Aerobics Greeting Card

$4.99

Yes! High Fives! Brighten someone's day with the High Fives Card. It could be a thank you, get better or just a fun how are you message. Never doubt the power and glory of jazz hands and high fives! Joy is just bursting out of this card! And one, and...

Prick Cactus Greeting Card

$5.99

You’re looking sharp! Even been insulted by a cactus? Someone is about to be... Our Prick Cactus Greeting Card is adorned with a three-dimensional smart-ass cactus that has something to say, "PRICK!" The high quality matching rainbow striped...

Happy Birthday Honey Bear Retro Greeting Card

$3.99

You're so sweet to bear with me, honey. Our Happy Birthday, Honey Bear Card is the perfect gift to let your honey bear know that you care! This sweet card features mid-century modern art design with an old fashioned honey bear dispenser on the front.....

I Am Soooo Fucking Proud of You Greeting Card

$4.99

You are a f'ing rock star in my book! Send our I Am Soooo Fucking Proud of You Greeting Card to let some know how serious you are about how you proud you are!  Graduation, leaving a dead beat dude, new job... it works for just about any reason to...

We've Been Friends Since Our Numbers Were Listed

$4.99

Ring a ding ding! I'm not saying were old... but I did see my old phone being sold as vintage on Ebay!  Friends like you are as hard to find as a new phone book!  Blank inside Eco-friendly materials Made in the USA Printed on...

Fun + Fabulous Beach Birthday Sticker Card

$5.99

Sip me baby one more time! This colorful and celebratory Fun + Fabulous Beach Birthday Sticker Card is a fun card and gift all in one! The card comes with a kawaii-style removable coconut cocktail sticker that the recipient can stick on a laptop, tablet...

Creepy Clown Birthday Card

$4.99

Unless there's balloon animals, no thanks! Give this Creepy Clown Birthday Card to your birthday friends with clown phobias... or maybe don't... but yeah, probably. Because as the card says, "Getting older is scary, but not as scary as being trapped in...

Let The Celebrations Be Gin Glitter Card

$5.99

Save water, drink gin! Our Let The Celebrations Be Gin Greeting Card is deliciously adorable! Let someone know you hope they have a gin-credible day! Adorned with colorful glitter and a three-dimensional sparkly cocktail of gin with limes! The only...

Birthday Toast Greeting Card

$5.99

A fun birthday toast for you! Our Birthday Toast Greeting Card is totally not crummy! You can crust us when we say this is one of the greatest cards ever! Adorned with a three-dimensional piece of toast wearing a party hat! The high quality matching...

Hope You're Feeling Souper Soon! Get Well Sticker Card

$5.99

It makes Miso sad when you're sick! This sweet pick-me-up Hope You're Feeling Souper Soon! Get Well Sticker Card is a fun card and gift all in one! The card comes with a kawaii-style removable soup bowl sticker that the recipient can stick on a laptop,...

Toasting You! Congratulations Greeting Card

$3.99

Hang tuff, stay puft! For the friend who's been in the fire lately, but has come out the victor, our Toasting You Card, was conjured up just for them! Sure, some people may seem non-threatening, harmless, possibly-puffy, and cute - but at the end of the...

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