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Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm

$6.99

Our old fashioned, lip-smacking Lip Shit Watermelon Tangerine Lip Balm is the best! So why mess with the rest? You might not think an old-fashioned soda fountain would be welcoming to the likes of a positively pink octopus with long luscious lashes. But...

Love Mini Quartz Crystals Stone Pack

$9.99

Send love and good vibes! It's true. All you need is love... and our Love Mini Stone Pack! This thoughtful gift comes with two crystals selected to help bring forth a desired element in life. In this case. love, love, LOVE. This set of crystals have...

Magic Growing Unicorn

$4.99

More exciting than a Hatchimal! Our Magic Growing Unicorn allows you to hatch your very own unicorn and watch it grow! Stumped on what to get your favorite unicorn lover? This legendary gift is where it's at. Simply: Put the tree stump in a...

Magical Mandala Glowing Locket Necklace

$16.99 $14.95

You glow girl! Our beautiful Magical Mandala Glowing Locket Necklace absorbs light to allow a peaceful glow in darkened conditions. The light sources’ intensity and method will bring out different luminous effects. Now you can let your inner...

Master Crapsman Poo- Pourri Gift Set

$19.99

It’s Poo hunting season! The perfect gift for the handyman in your life, Master Crapsman Gift Set comes with both Trap-A-Crap and Royal Flush scents. Maybe it's one bottle for the basement aka man cave and another for our in the garage? Whatever...

Narwhal Lip Gloss

$4.99

Tusk, tusk, tusk... It's true! Narwhal Lip Gloss really does exist! This pudgy little Unicorn of the Sea has swam all the way from the Arctic to help you make sure that your kisses are legendary! He's not just over-whale-mingly cute, he serves a...

Natural Born Assh*le Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Most Men If he talks like an asshole and looks like an asshole, chances are he is an asshole... and needs our Natural Born Asshole Men's Socks. Now, you may be thinking... why would I get a gift for that asshole? Well, not THAT asshole, but...

Official World's Smallest Etch-A-Sketch

$6.99

The World's Favorite Drawing Toy What do you get the person that has everything? Simple.... The World's Smallest Etch-a-Sketch. This classic toy has been bringing joy and amusement to countless people for as long as 50 years- and now that it's pocket...

Official World's Smallest Perplexus

$9.99

Easy to Play... Hard to Master! We can describe the World's Smallest Perplexus in one word. A-maze-ing. *badum tssh* Perplexus Original now comes in a miniature pocket-sized edition so you can keep playing on the go! This 3D maze has always been a fun...

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and F*ck Off Oven Mitt

$12.99

Can you pass me some f*ck off? So we all know a few of those recipe robbers...  You know, the ones that will take and make your recipe then bask in all the glory!  Wars were started for less than this! Sure, I just use a little Parsley, Sage,...

People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel

$10.99

Far superior to paypurrr products. Our hiss-terical People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel just barely scratches the surface of ones pre-fur-ence for cats over humans. Purrrhaps you're looking for a gift for your crazy cat lady friend? or maybe you just...

Pizza Scented Candle

$11.99

The smell of baking dough, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni is such a mouthwatering smell!    Let our Stinky Pizza Candle take you back to your teenage days when pizza was a major food group!   Your place will smell like Papa Dominos is...

Pocket Science Pet Tornado

$7.99

Great gift for the storm chaser in your life! Messy office?  Great! So now when your snarky office mate asks if your desk was hit by a tornado, you can say in fact yes, and proudly introduce them to your Pet Tornado.   Give the jar a swirl or...

Pocket Sized Pink Citron Poo-Pourri

$4.99

Pretty in Pink smells so good! Satisfy your sweet tooth with a spritz of Pink Citron Poo-Pourri so you can leave a little sparkle wherever you GO! The blend of Strawberry, Rock Candy and Citron natural essential oils eliminate odor before it even begins...

Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug

$11.99

Sweet toothed Def Leopard fan? Our totally def Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug is going to help you rock your mornings! Yeah! Sugar me! Do you take sugar? one lump or two? Whichever way you take it, holding a generous 16 ounces, this mug will keep you...

Pretty Decent Boyfriend Men's Crew Socks

$12.99

Read between the lines. Our Pretty Decent Boyfriend Men's Crew Socks tells it like it is. There's no gushing Facebook post of undying love, just some honesty bundled up in a cozy pair of socks he may or may not forget to put in the hamper: I usually do...

Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser

$9.99

Our Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser will help brew the purrrfect cup of tea! Just fill this adorable kitty shaped tea infuser with your favorite loose tea leaves, hang its little paws on the edge of your cup, and you’ll be curling up with the coziest...

Quantum Physics for Babies

$9.99

Explanations of ideas for your future genius! Written by an expert, our Quantum Physics for Babies is a colorfully simple introduction to the principle that gives quantum physics its name. Babies (and grownups!) will discover that the wild world of...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Reach For The Stars Floaty Pen

$4.99

Cats in space! Our cosmic Reach For The Stars Write Side Up Floaty Pen is probably the coolest pen ever made! Watch space kitty slide up and down your pen and distract you from everything that you’re supposed to be doing. Seriously, you might take...

Red Red Wine Candle

$11.99 $10.55

Why? Wine not? Our red, red, Wine Candle is totally lit! A fun and unqiue gift for wine lovers. Now you can have Red Wine (scent) with every meal! Perfect for when you need to stay level headed, and the only thing you'll be pouring over that night is...

Rubber Chicken Air Freshener

$4.99

Highest rated air freshener by killer clowns! Your car has been smelling funny lately, but our Rubber Chicken Air Freshener by Archie McPhee will make it smell downright hilarious! Lucky for you (and for your unsuspecting passengers) this particular...

Scratch-Off Note Cards

$15.99

Everyone can be a winner... if you want them to be. Spread a little kindness with these Random Scratch of Kindness Mini Notes! Write or draw something in the blank area, then cover it with the scratch-off sticker provided and give it away. Scratching...

Second Place Dad Award Ribbon

$4.99

I'm thirsty... Hi thirsty, I'm Dad! Our Second Place Dad Ribbon is a special award for all those dads out there that have given up on teaching the basics. Maybe there's nothing wrong with letting Netflix and video games raise the kids... right? Bad...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Soap for Dad Bods

$9.99

Smells like cookies & cable sports Our Soap for Dad Bods helps build unwavering confidence and smells like toasted marshmallow. Mmmmm... marshmallows. And now there's no reason to feel guilty for indulging. Thanks to an incredible new development in...

Soap for the Trophy Husband

$9.99

Living your best life. Our Soap for the Trophy Husband is for that lucky guy... see him there. See that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

Squirrel In Underpants Air Freshener

$4.99

It might seem weird at first, but if you think about it, squirrels in underpants were inevitable. Those little streakers have been running naked through trees for too long! This mildly insane air freshener, which thankfully smells better than a squirrel...

Star Trek Light-and-Sound Tricorder Set

$12.99

Space... The final frontier. Introducing our Star Trek Light-and-Sound Tricorder Set! Fans and collectors of the hit sci-fi series Star Trek: The Next Generation with Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise, will love this one-of-a-kind,...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$12.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious housewarming or hostess...

Sunday Football Nothing Else Matters Men's Socks

$12.99

Men And Their Football Rituals Socks Sunday Funday?  So, yeah. NEWSFLASH: Unless that involves going to a game, watching a game, or smack talking about a game that's on hold until the end of the football season... and nothing else matters. Might as...

Super Duper Scooper Giant Ice Cream Cone Snow Tube Sled

$24.99 $21.99

Snow Queen meets Dairy Queen I scream, you scream, we all scream while hanging on for dear life to our humongous Super Duper Scooper Giant Ice Cream Cone Snow Tube Sled! For the snow bunny with a sweet tooth... if a foot of fresh snow reminds you of...

Teeny-Tiny Record Turntable

$12.99

Includes 3 Mini-LPs to Play! Let those records spin with the Teeny-Tiny Record Turntable! While your record collection is miles away at home, this retro-style kit adds a bit of vintage vinyl charm to any home or office! This nostalgia inducing kit...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Baked with love weed You know who our The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt is perfect for... yep, grandma. With prescription prices criminally high, do you really think she's not baking in a little something something?! Make edibles or get out of...

The Little Lantern

$8.99

What is this? A lantern for ants?? Step away from the kerosene, Zoolander fans, and allow us to shed some light on the situation.  Our wicked cute Little Lantern is an intentionally miniature version of the classic style lantern...

The Original Wiz-z-zer

$7.99

Go on, take it for a spin The Original Wiz-z-zer is back and it's ready to shred the competition! Step aside Beyblades there's a new sheriff in town!  You can't expect your mom to hold on to you all of your old toys! So, if you've been looking...

The Rocket Ship Snow Tube

$34.99 $26.99

Get ready for blast off! When the weather forecast is predicting an arctic blast-off, it’s time to inflate the Rocket Ship Snow Tube, call up your best bud and schedule a slope session. Besides being comfier than those old plastic slabs...

These Are Nacho Pencils

$6.99

What do you call a pencil that isn't yours? Nacho pencil! This mouth-watering Nacho Pencil Set represents all the different ingredients found in nachos or individual chip dipping! You can use these pencils to draw, write, note and erase! They're #2 too...

Tiny Arcade Pole Position

$22.99

Start! If you are like us, hours were spent throwing tokens into Pole Position at Chuck E. Cheese, at least a good decade before we were able to drive! The most exciting gift of 2019 (or our lifetime)  You'll almost be able to smell the 80's as...

Trump's Small Hand Soap

$3.49

For dirty politics Would you believe that our Trump's Small Hand Soap was made in Russia?  How about that it can remove stains and marks on your cabinet?  We heard a rumor that this is the preferred soap for Rachel Maddow and Don Lemon - that...

Twisted Sudoku Puzzle Book

$12.99

What sorcery is this? Our fun and challenging Twisted Sudoku Puzzle Book contains over 100 Sudoku puzzles, each with a mind-bending twist. It’s a fresh and fun take on the classic, standard Sudoku challenge as it breaks the rules, defying...

Twisted Word Search

$12.99

Twisted is the new normal Our Twisted Word Search has over 100 word search puzzles, each with a mind-bending twist or theme. Breaking the rules, defying conventions and shaking up the world of puzzling, this is a fresh and funky new take on the...

Two For Tea Narwhal Tea Infuser + Mug Gift Set

$19.99 $17.59

Having trouble telling the world how you feel? Cut the blubber and get straight to the point with Our Two For Narwhal Tea Infuser and Mug set! It's the classic love story... mug meets infuser and happiness brews. This dynamic duo consists of our Spiked...

Video Game Men's Socks

$12.99

Remember when you had to blow into the game cartridge every time you wanted to play Mario Brothers?  We do.  Wanna know what doesn't blow?  Our Video Game Men's Socks! So shove that to-do list in the couch and let your intentions be known...

Vintage Art Supplies Pencil Case

$5.99

Our infectiously clever Art Supplies Pencil Case is our #2 weapon of choice for containing cluttered chaos!  Punctuated with a cheeky vintage design it's guaranteed to get your creative juices flowing... cheers! But wait, there's more!  As...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

Welcome to the Sh*t Show Toilet Paper

$6.99

Dropping the kids off at the pool? Welcome to the Shit Show Toilet Paper defines the entire world right now! But at least you've got some, right? This awesome toilet paper has Welcome To The Shit Show boldly printed in black ink on every sheet... that's...

Whatever Happens We're Eating It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Comprendo! As beautifully stated, Whatever Happens We're Eating It!  And I dare anyone to argue with me while I'm wearing this mitt. Screen-printed in rich colors Super-insulated 100% cotton Mitten measures approximately 12.5 inches long x...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

Wine Dystopia Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

We need to rise up and [redacted]..... Our insightful Wine Dystopia Cocktail Napkins humorously ask the prospective question to your party guests. What wine pairs best with living in a dystopian nightmare? Trick question: ALL OF IT. It’s all about...

World's Smallest Glo Worm

$6.99

Glo Worm is still glowing after all these years! Lay your head on your pillow and start counting sheep with the World’s Smallest Glo Worm by your side. The iconic favorite cuddle bug of the 80's is back in a big but smallest way. Glo Worm is ready...

World's Smallest Hot Wheels Stunt Action Set

$11.99

Defy gravity and mesmerize your friends and foes! Kids have been growing up with Hot Wheels since 1968. Now you can defy gravity with the world famous Hot Wheels loop, but in a miniaturized version. Our speedy World's Smallest Stunt Action Loop features...

World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong

$8.99

S-T-R-E-T-C-H  Our World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong stretches into hundreds of different positions, and he returns to his normal size! Well sorta normal size, since he is officially the World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong! Your...

You Fancy B*tch Crew Socks

$10.99

Fancy, Floral + Foul Mouthed SocksThese flowers won't hide the flowery language of our You Fancy Bitch Crew Socks for long! Here's a shout out to all the stylish ladies out there whom seem to have their shit together 24/7. Unlike the majority of us whom,...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

You Octopi My Thoughts Necklace

$9.99

Get kraken! Are you a sucker for anything octopus related?  Is there a special someone in your life who has their tentacles wrapped around your every thought?  Good news... our totally adorabilis You Octopi My Thoughts Necklace has...

You're Kind Of A Dick Gum

$1.99

For that Dick in your life - and we ain't talkin' about Richard   Our vintage styled You're Kind of a Dick Gum is a fun an unexpected gift you can slip to any prick you may happen upon during your day.   Can't think of anyone deserving of such...

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