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Not Just Your Dad's Plaid Face Mask

$12.99

Fore you or your dad! Deck yourself out in our Not Just Your Dad's Plaid Face Mask - it's is a real eye-sore fore!  Being quarantined has been a real bummer, and has many folks longing for the freedom of the open golf course! ...

Tin Foil Hat

$9.99

As any "woke" person knows, a Tin Foil Hat is a necessity of modern life.  However, one of the most irritating parts of being under constant, long-distance electronic thought observations is having to make a new tin foil hat every day! Fear not!...

Whatever Happens We're Eating It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Comprendo! As beautifully stated, Whatever Happens We're Eating It!  And I dare anyone to argue with me while I'm wearing this mitt. Screen-printed in rich colors Super-insulated 100% cotton Mitten measures approximately 12.5 inches long x...

Beer Bottle Opener Ring

$5.99 $3.99

Unbeerlievably Handy! Stop searching through drawers, put down that lighter, and for Pete's sake get that bottle away from your back teeth! Now you'll never be left without the ability to open a tasty micro brew or specialty beer when you have our...

Deal With It Cat Meme Floaty Pen

$4.99

Cat meme! Our Deal With It Write Side Up Floaty Pen will allow you to get a firm grasp on reality while enjoying a timeless internet meme! Some things never change, like the thrill and amazement of being mesmerized by the hypnotic motion of a floaty pen...

LED Light Up Bobo Balloon

$5.99

As seen on Rachel Ray with Katie Linendoll!  Be the light and the life of the party with Bobo Balloons!  The reflection of the lights against the shiny PVC balloon give the illusion of hundreds of lights! Each Balloon can reach 15 inches...

My Safe Word Is Takeout Dish Towel

$10.99

Our My Safe Word Is Takeout Dish Towel addresses a serious(ly funny) issue. We know that, these days, Take-Out is still a taboo subject. But just because people aren't talking about it doesn't mean that they're not out there doing it. We're just saying...

Pickle Air Freshener

$4.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and running late. And, we love pickles. Maybe you simply feel...

World's Smallest Hot Wheels Stunt Action Set

$11.99

Defy gravity and mesmerize your friends and foes! Kids have been growing up with Hot Wheels since 1968. Now you can defy gravity with the world famous Hot Wheels loop, but in a miniaturized version. Our speedy World's Smallest Stunt Action Loop features...

F*ck This Sh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Not What I Want To Be Doing Right Now Socks We know, we know... why would a classy, well-dressed lumberjack such as this fella use that ugly, undignified word?  Because sometimes you just need a "Fuck," that's why. Our ruggedly handsome Fuck This...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

Illuminati Air Freshener

$4.99

Come on. Really? Don't blame a conspiracy... it's your fault your car is so stinky! The Illuminati is the secret organization that is rumored to control the world. So it only makes sense that you'd let them control the odor in your car. Don't you want...

Shrimp Cocktail Drink Markers

$9.99

Shrimply the best wine charms Worried about losing track of your drink? Just krill out and add one of our Shrimp Cocktail Drink Markers to the rim of your glass! This set includes 6 uniquely colored shrimp-shaped charms, so that way there's no...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

I Go All The Way Dish Towel

$10.99

The double entendre of our I Go All The Way Dish Towel is nearly as satisfying as a double hot fudge sundae with a cherry (and a pound of gummies) on top! We should know, having been a proud member of the Clean Plate of the Month Club since 1985. A...

Rubber Chicken Mints

$3.99

  Halitosis humor! Our Rubber Chicken Mints is hilarious, but the mints don’t taste funny, they’re mint-flavored. You’re guaranteed a giggle when you offer one to someone! Cute, but cute tin of mints Get a laugh and...

Get Along With Your Co-Workers Gum

$1.99

Your Job Doesn't Suck, Just Your Co-Workers The reality in the majority of people's lives is that they have to get a job to survive. Unfortunately you get stuck working alongside people you might not otherwise frequent in the free world! To make your...

Weed Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Our adorably giggly Weed Money Coin Purse is highly sought after throughout the kawaii loving stoner community.   Let's be blunt.   It might not be big enough for your stash but... it's a start!   For sure, it can easily hold some coinage...

World's Smallest GI Joe vs Cobra Micro Action Figure

$6.99

Knowing is half the battle! Straight from the 80's, our tiny GI Joe vs Cobra Micro Action Figures battle it out against the terror nemesis Cobra Organization. These pop culture icons are now in the world's smallest size ever measures at 1.25 inches tall...

Bravery Bandages

$5.49

Our hilarious, yet distinguished, Bravery Bandages celebrate the nearly forgotten art of resiliency! Everyone recognizes bravery when it’s risking your life to save someone or facing impossible odds, but some bravery is on a much smaller scale...

Sunday Football Nothing Else Matters Men's Socks

$12.99

Men And Their Football Rituals Socks Sunday Funday?  So, yeah. NEWSFLASH: Unless that involves going to a game, watching a game, or smack talking about a game that's on hold until the end of the football season... and nothing else matters. Might as...

Ate A Vegetable Award Ribbon

$4.99

Vegetables told me they don't like you either. Our snarky Ate A Vegetable Award Ribbon is an award for all those finicky eaters that won't touch vegetables. If it's green it better not be on their plate! Our tip: add salt and butter. This major award...

Giant Snow Loving Panda Winter Snow Mask

$29.99 $26.39

Panda-monium! When the snow starts a falling, it's time to cause utter panda-monium on the slopes with our positively preposterous Giant Panda Ski Mask with Ears! You're not being bamboo-zled! Now you can hit the trail in quirky style with this...

Rubber Chicken Men's Socks

$9.99

Socks For The Comedian In Your Life Your feet will immediately begin to feel funny wearing our Rubber Chicken Socks!  Socks are the ultimate way to add your wacky personality to your wardrobe, so why not use the world's most random punchline to...

You're Neat Greeting Card

$4.99

You're Neat! Let your significant other, friend or family member know how neat they really are with our kawaii-style You're Neat Whiskey Greeting Card. Give me whiskey neat, my tea really sweet and a dusty pickup seat. • Card size is 4.25 x 5.5...

Cream-Pop Lollipops

$3.99

They're the cream of the crop! A dream-cicle come true, our Cream-Pop Lollipops are designed to look like classic ice-cream pops! They come on a thick wooden pop-sicle stick in six different exciting color and flavor combinations! Strawberry/Vanilla...

Emergency Goat Sound Machine

$10.99

It’s a goat emergency! This Emergency Goat Sound Machine lets you have the power of goats when you need it! Turns out GOAT not only stands for Greatest Of All Time but it’s also one of our favorite animals! We all dream of owning...

It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum

$1.99

Makes sense to us! Our thought provoking, It's Not Really Drinking Alone If The Cat Is Home Gum really gave us something to chew on! Meow, we've always really admired one's ability to argue a point. Those crazy cat ladies are really onto something! This...

Star Trek Light-and-Sound Tricorder Set

$12.99

Space... The final frontier. Introducing our Star Trek Light-and-Sound Tricorder Set! Fans and collectors of the hit sci-fi series Star Trek: The Next Generation with Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise, will love this one-of-a-kind,...

Lucky Kitten Eraser

$2.99

You might already be lucky and never make any mistakes but our Lucky Kitten Eraser is for the rest of us that want cute a eraser that can eradicate bad spellings or over-drawn pictures. These adorable cat erasers are great for scrubbing away an error...

Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks

$10.99

Socks For The Alpha Females In Your Live Whether you're kicking back or kicking @ss our Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks will be there to cheer you on! And trust us.. those naysayers will get your message loud and clear! Don't even get us star'ted on how...

Galaga Tiny Arcade

$22.99

It’s the return of the alien invasion! Our pop culture phenom, Galaga Tiny Arcade, is the sequel to Galaxian Tiny Arcade (just as Galaga was the 1981 sequel to 1979's Galaxian) and is coming to a home near you with. Hurry! You must board the...

I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum

$1.99

Just once piece of our Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum unlocks the dialogue between you and your pet!  You'll finally be able to share your intimate dreams and fears, stock tips, recipes and who you think should be kicked off Big Brother next! For...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse

$4.99

Hey girl, just a little something to tell you that we...really like...you.  Just.  The way.  You are. Our perfectly patterned, You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse is made from an impressive 95% post-consumer material!  Used...

John Lennon's Imagine Crank Music Box

$8.99

Crank up that song! You may say I'm a dreamer, but we know that our delightfully peaceful Imagine Crank Music Box is a gift that will truly resonate with the receiver... and the surface that it's placed on! This music box is tiny in size, but the sound...

Kitten Bandages

$5.99

Got another scratch?   You've gotta be kitten me!    Cover up cuts, scratches, and scrapes with our adorably irresistible Kitten Bandages!  Now you can avoid cat scratch fever with a little help from a furr-iendly little feline...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the butter hungry monster living inside, while teasing it with...

Pick Up Truck Men's Socks

$12.99

Behold, our Pick Up Truck Men's Socks. And may you find a guy that looks at you, the way he looks at his truck. These stylish foot sweat catchers read 'Till Death To Us Part on the toes... A weirdly bro-mantic gift, and possibly the best pick-up attempt...

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Baked with love weed You know who our The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt is perfect for... yep, grandma. With prescription prices criminally high, do you really think she's not baking in a little something something?! Make edibles or get out of...

T-Rex Dinosaur Necklace

$12.99

RAWR!  I'm a dinosaur necklace! Our dino-mite T-Rex Dinosaur Necklace is the perfect accessory for when you're feeling fierce and unstoppable! An awesome gift for the budding paleontologist or Jurassic Park fan!  Show them that you really...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Jumbo Pouch

$9.99

Our This Meeting is Bullsh*t Jumbo Pouch is the perfect way to tote all the bullshit papers that you have to print for your bullshit meeting. Adorned with colorful language and an awesome geometric design - which btw perfectly matches our This Meeting is...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Sucky Meetings At Work Statistically speaking, and according to this colorful PowerPoint pie chart based on what's trending, we'd guesstimate that 90% of meetings match the criteria for wearing our amazingly accurate This Meeting Is Bullshit...

CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis

$24.99

CBD edibles have arrived! Good luck trying to wipe that smile off your face! Too peopley outside? No problem! Reach for your jar of CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis and your social anxiety will run for the hills, instead of you! These smiley face...

Flash + Fly Helicopter

$2.99

A great toys for kids and husbands! Because there is nothing more entertaining than shooting flashing things into the air and watching them come back down. Seriously. What could be better? Turn on our Fly and Flash Helicopter and sling shot it into the...

Hangry Handy Lunch Tote

$9.99

If you don't watch out, somebody might get hurt.  That's right, I'm looking at you Veggie Burrito! If you're looking to own a lunch bag that screams equal parts cute and "get the heck out of my way, I need to eat!" we've got just the one for you!...

I'm Not Bossy, I'm The Boss Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our infectiously cheerful I'm Not Bossy. I'm the Boss. Oven Mitt is well... totally boss!  It's a totally cheeky way to express your admiration for the person in charge...  What we love about the way you Boss is that you Boss without...

Mom Tattoo Bandages

$5.99

Call your mom, she worries! Our iconic Mom Tattoos are a classic ode to the lady that raised you. She bathed you, fed you, tucked you in at night and even rubbed her own spit on your face to get the dirt off. Over the years, many have shown their...

You Wanna Piece of This Oven Mitt

$12.99

Go on and take it. Our aggressively coy You Wanna Piece of This Oven Mitt will strike a chord with all of the food pushers out there. We're looking at you Grandma! Sorry, did that sound like a threat? What I meant was that you'd be reallllllly sorry if...

Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser

$9.99

Our Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser will help brew the purrrfect cup of tea! Just fill this adorable kitty shaped tea infuser with your favorite loose tea leaves, hang its little paws on the edge of your cup, and you’ll be curling up with the coziest...

Selective Hearing Specialist Men's Socks

$12.99

If you know someone who deserves our Selective Hearing Specialist Men's Socks know that we feel your pain! The frustration that comes from dealing with someone with selective hearing is enough to drive one completely mad. They're a perfect gift for your...

I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby Gum

$1.99

You got a problem with that? I'm not embarrassed,  I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby For Some Weason... My fur baby, my soulmate, the love of my life! You're sho shmarth Whath did you do thoday? Ready for beddy bye? Did you mishsh...

Ringmaster of the Sh*tshow Men's Socks

$12.99

My Circus, My Monkeys Our painfully honest and equally hilarious Ringmaster of the Shitshow Men's Socks are toe'tally perfect for everyday use, but especially for family gatherings! For much as you'd like to distance yourself from the mayhem and declare...

T.V. Rock

$5.99

Tune in to the Ulexite! Plop our awesome TV Rock on any printed surface and it demonstrates a cool fiber-optic effect - it projects images to the surface of this naturally occurring mineral.   This unusual effect is the result of your rock's...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

Busy Making A F*cking Difference Men's Socks

$12.99

Our hard-working Busy Making A Fucking Difference Men's Socks are a powerful fashion statement for guys from all walks of life. A reminder for yourself and fortunate onlookers of just how great an impact you have on this world. Wear them ironically as...

Human Powered Light Bulb

$3.99

Why are you so touchy? Are you looking to burn off some energy and have some geeky science fun?  Then it's time to throw on your favorite pair of socks and start dragging your feet around the nearest carpeted floor like you did when you were a kid!...

Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel

$12.99

Watch out for your ankles! Our Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel is coming right for ya, and will keep you on your toes in the kitchen! Would you just look at this kitty cat. So stinking pleased with herself because she's ripped the hell out your...

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