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I Love My Asshole Kids Oven Mitt

$12.99

The mother of all oven mitts Our disarming and charming, I Love My Asshole Kids. Oven Mitt will hold a special place in your heart, just like you kiddos do, while allowing you to hold hot items! Neato!  Even the most innocent, put-together, June...

Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum

$1.99

Just once piece of our Instantly Talk With Your Cat Gum unlocks the dialogue between you and your pet!  You'll finally be able to share your intimate dreams and fears, stock tips, recipes and who you think should be kicked off Big Brother next! For...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse

$4.99

Hey girl, just a little something to tell you that we...really like...you.  Just.  The way.  You are. Our perfectly patterned, You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse is made from an impressive 95% post-consumer material!  Used...

John Lennon's Imagine Crank Music Box

$8.99

Crank up that song! You may say I'm a dreamer, but we know that our delightfully peaceful Imagine Crank Music Box is a gift that will truly resonate with the receiver... and the surface that it's placed on! This music box is tiny in size, but the sound...

Kitten Bandages

$5.99

Got another scratch?   You've gotta be kitten me!    Cover up cuts, scratches, and scrapes with our adorably irresistible Kitten Bandages!  Now you can avoid cat scratch fever with a little help from a furr-iendly little...

Lobster Candy

$5.99

No lobster bib required! Growing up in New England, lobster dinners were pretty common for us kids  Did we think the bib was embarrassing... nope. Now? Ah heck yeah! So now I can feed the butter hungry monster living inside, while teasing it with...

Pick Up Truck Men's Socks

$12.99

Behold, our Pick Up Truck Men's Socks. And may you find a guy that looks at you, the way he looks at his truck. These stylish foot sweat catchers read 'Till Death To Us Part on the toes... A weirdly bro-mantic gift, and possibly the best pick-up attempt...

T-Rex Dinosaur Necklace

$12.99

RAWR!  I'm a dinosaur necklace! Our dino-mite T-Rex Dinosaur Necklace is the perfect accessory for when you're feeling fierce and unstoppable! An awesome gift for the budding paleontologist or Jurassic Park fan!  Show them that you really...

Talking Bob Ross Bobblehead

$12.99

Let’s get crazy, what the heck.  Our Talking Bob Ross Bobblehead is an homage to everyone's favorite squirrel loving, magical-voice-having, happy tree painting philosophical artist of TV fame. No one gave better art / life lessons while...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Jumbo Pouch

$9.99

Our This Meeting is Bullsh*t Jumbo Pouch is the perfect way to tote all the bullshit papers that you have to print for your bullshit meeting. Adorned with colorful language and an awesome geometric design - which btw perfectly matches our This Meeting is...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Sucky Meetings At Work Statistically speaking, and according to this colorful PowerPoint pie chart based on what's trending, we'd guesstimate that 90% of meetings match the criteria for wearing our amazingly accurate This Meeting Is Bullshit...

CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis

$24.99

CBD edibles have arrived! Good luck trying to wipe that smile off your face! Too peopley outside? No problem! Reach for your jar of CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis and your social anxiety will run for the hills, instead of you! These smiley face...

Flash + Fly Helicopter

$2.99

A great toys for kids and husbands! Because there is nothing more entertaining than shooting flashing things into the air and watching them come back down. Seriously. What could be better? Turn on our Fly and Flash Helicopter and sling shot it into the...

Hangry Handy Lunch Tote

$9.99

If you don't watch out, somebody might get hurt.  That's right, I'm looking at you Veggie Burrito! If you're looking to own a lunch bag that screams equal parts cute and "get the heck out of my way, I need to eat!" we've got just the one for you!...

I'm Not Bossy, I'm The Boss Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our infectiously cheerful I'm Not Bossy. I'm the Boss. Oven Mitt is well... totally boss!  It's a totally cheeky way to express your admiration for the person in charge...  What we love about the way you Boss is that you Boss without...

Mom Tattoo Bandages

$5.99

Call your mom, she worries! Our iconic Mom Tattoos are a classic ode to the lady that raised you. She bathed you, fed you, tucked you in at night and even rubbed her own spit on your face to get the dirt off. Over the years, many have shown their...

You Wanna Piece of This Oven Mitt

$12.99

Go on and take it. Our aggressively coy You Wanna Piece of This Oven Mitt will strike a chord with all of the food pushers out there. We're looking at you Grandma! Sorry, did that sound like a threat? What I meant was that you'd be reallllllly sorry if...

Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser

$9.99

Our Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser will help brew the purrrfect cup of tea! Just fill this adorable kitty shaped tea infuser with your favorite loose tea leaves, hang its little paws on the edge of your cup, and you’ll be curling up with the coziest...

Selective Hearing Specialist Men's Socks

$12.99

If you know someone who deserves our Selective Hearing Specialist Men's Socks know that we feel your pain! The frustration that comes from dealing with someone with selective hearing is enough to drive one completely mad. They're a perfect gift for your...

I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby Gum

$1.99

You got a problem with that? I'm not embarrassed,  I Talk To My Dog Like It's A Wittle Baby For Some Weason... My fur baby, my soulmate, the love of my life! You're sho shmarth Whath did you do thoday? Ready for beddy bye? Did you mishsh...

Ringmaster of the Sh*tshow Men's Socks

$12.99

My Circus, My Monkeys Our painfully honest and equally hilarious Ringmaster of the Shitshow Men's Socks are toe'tally perfect for everyday use, but especially for family gatherings! For much as you'd like to distance yourself from the mayhem and declare...

T.V. Rock

$5.99

Tune in to the Ulexite! Plop our awesome TV Rock on any printed surface and it demonstrates a cool fiber-optic effect - it projects images to the surface of this naturally occurring mineral.   This unusual effect is the result of your rock's...

Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops

$4.99

Raising the Bar on Nostalgic Candy Got a bad mouth with a sweet tooth? Then our naughty but nice Wash Your Dirty Mouth Out Candy Soap Lollipops will sweeten that deliciously vulgar pie hole of yours. A throwback to the good ole days when having your...

You Leave Sparkles Everywhere You Go Gum

$1.99

Share A Piece Of This Gum When You Enjoy Someone's Good Vibes Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day... If you forgot to take Mr. Como's advice, our totally dreamy You Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go Gum is a close runner...

Busy Making A F*cking Difference Men's Socks

$12.99

Our hard-working Busy Making A Fucking Difference Men's Socks are a powerful fashion statement for guys from all walks of life. A reminder for yourself and fortunate onlookers of just how great an impact you have on this world. Wear them ironically as...

Human Powered Light Bulb

$3.99

Why are you so touchy? Are you looking to burn off some energy and have some geeky science fun?  Then it's time to throw on your favorite pair of socks and start dragging your feet around the nearest carpeted floor like you did when you were a kid!...

Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel

$12.99

Watch out for your ankles! Our Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel is coming right for ya, and will keep you on your toes in the kitchen! Would you just look at this kitty cat. So stinking pleased with herself because she's ripped the hell out your...

Grumpy Old Man Men's Socks

$12.99

Got a grumpy old man?  Like we needed to be told you're grumpy!  Your complaining is funny but neverending! Grumpy runs in my family... how about yours? Dad loves being a grumpy old guy -enjoying the finer things in life like not caring what...

Mattel Electronics Baseball Handheld Game Keychain

$11.99

Let our Mattel Electronics Baseball Handheld Game Keychain take you back to before game consoles, mobile and online games. This pocket keychain game actually works and has the same sounds, blinking lights and feel as the classic original, just a lot...

Mini Himalayan Rock Salt Mood Lamp

$12.99

Rainbows Rock! Our adorably Mini Himalayan Rock Salt Mood Lamp is made from real salt and rotates through a rainbow of colors! While standard Himalayan salt lamps glow orange (or pink), this mini-size mood lamp rotates through a full spectrum of colors,...

Bandage Sticky Notes

$3.99

Oops - ouch!  This is important! Our Bandage Sticky Notes are a clever way to bookmark and leave notes for yourself!  A light-hearted reminder that... OUCH!, it's going to hurt if I forget that! A fun gift for accomplished medical...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

I Left The Seat Up For You Men's Socks

$12.99

You're such a gentleman... Sigh.  Do you know a guy, any guy? Great! We have the perfect gift to give them!  Is it lazy? Survival of the fittest?  Not caring?  Or most like... hearing people complaining about getting a butt splash...

Man With A Pan Oven Mitt

$12.99

A man with a plan pan! Why does "Man With A Pan" sound so concerning at first? Oh that's probably just a personal fear of mine materializing while I write this product description. At my house, "I cook... you clean" 9 out of 10 times results in my better...

Parenting Pen Set

$9.99

The bags under my eyes are Prada Even people that don't have kids know the lament of parents and our Parenting Pen Set perfectly captures it. I know, having children is wonderful and no one would trade it for anything. But we all understand that having...

The Screaming Goat Mini Book + Figure

$9.99

Office mascot and spirit animal. For when there are no words, The Screaming Goat Mini Book + Figure speaks your language. The ultimate stress reliever, you can no become the owner of your very own screaming goat! Sh*t just goat serious. Let it goat...

Coolest Guy On The Conference Call Men's Socks

$12.99

Does your boss schedule calls to schedule calls?  Ugh.  At least you can have some fun with it!  Now these are for the coolest guy, which is NOT the person that talks the most.  That guy just likes to hear himself talk. Probably the...

Edgar Allan Poe Bandages

$5.49

Does Anyone Else Hear That Tapping Like Noise? Once upon a midnight dreary, I tripped, fell and got all teary.  Only one of our Edgar Allan Poe Bandages stopped the tears. Poe, being the ultimate goth (Nightpain), has always been associated with...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

Hey Jude Crank Music Box

$8.99

Hey Jude, crank that song up! Take a sad song and make it better with our heart warming Hey Jude Crank Music Box! It is a gift that will truly resonate with the receiver... and the surface that it's placed on! This music box is tiny in size, but the...

I Have A Dark Side Socks

$10.99

Socks For Scaring People Listen.  Just because you wear a headband, cross your legs at the ankle and enjoy paper crafts doesn't mean you can't get down with your dark side.  You can and you should. Wanna keep it on the down low?  Well what...

Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug

$11.99

Sweet toothed Def Leopard fan? Our totally def Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug is going to help you rock your mornings! Yeah! Sugar me! Do you take sugar? one lump or two? Whichever way you take it, holding a generous 16 ounces, this mug will keep you...

I Like Long Romantic Walks To The Fridge Dish Towel

$10.99

You butter believe it! Our I Like Long Romantic Walks To The Fridge Dish Towel is sure to hit the spot with foodies from all walks of life, and that's no bologna! Featuring a repetitive, colorful mayo jar design reminiscent of Andy Warhol. It's a fun...

Clusterf*ck Dish Towel

$10.99

Embrace the almighty and apparently unavoidable clusterfuck with our Blue Q Clusterf*ck Dish Towel. Whether that clusterfuck refers to your disaster known as your kitchen, your day, your week, your love life, your lack of love life, your home, your...

Dinosaur Poop Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

You saur it here first! There's no bones about it, our Dinosaur Poop Lollipops are mammoth hit with dino lovers!  Melville Candy dinosaur poop lollipops are a fun unique sweet treat Hard candy green and blue swirl lollipops Coated with glittery...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money and...

Hellraiser Oven Mitt

$12.99

Just like our sweet and innocent Hellraiser Oven Mitt your meals may look all wholesome and homemade, but you know the truth. You're the kind of brassy babe who would buy a frozen lasagna, heat it up in a nice pan, and call it a Dish to Pass. And we love...

Cat Butt Coin Purse

$4.99

Our high quality Cat Butt Coin Purse is the kitty for your cash!   This adorable zippered coin purse features a silly snickering kitty on the front and a useful field guide on the backside!   Just in case you have a chance meeting with a feline...

Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel

$10.99

Our deliciously distasteful Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel is just what the cook ordered! We don't need your half-baked ideas. Your pinch of advice, or dash of criticism. Mind your own plate and get out of our site before you become the main...

Retro Mixtape Jumbo Pouch

$9.99

With our Retro Mixtape Jumbo Pouch, getting wound up about losing stuff in your giant bag is a thing of past! If you're a child of the 70's or 80's you'll know that mixtapes were life. They were essential in capturing your fav songs off the radio,...

Earth Night Light

$5.99

Do you still want to be an astronaut when you grow up?   All you've always imagined is waking up in the middle of the night floating in outer space and seeing the illuminated Earth! With our Earth Night Light you don't have to be in a spaceship to...

Here Comes Cool Dad Men's Socks

$12.99

You're the cool dad! Our Blue Q Here Comes Cool Dad Men's Socks are for the guy who's 2 Legit, 2 Legit to Quit, his job because he's got bills to pay, mouths to feed, and a roof to put over those little son-of-a-guns heads! (but is not interested...

Marshmallow S'More Lip Gloss

$4.99

You'll love it a lil bit s'more every day. An ideal gift for the happy camper, our Marshmallow S'More Lip Gloss is a fun mashup of nostalgia and kawaii for your lips! Camping. Maybe you do it for the crackling warmth of a radiant campfire. Good times...

My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum

$1.99

Whatever, Karen. Our snarky My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum is the perfectly absurd rebuttal for when you're too deep into your own (Netflix) marathon training and simply too chill to care.  If you're like us, you're exhausted from sight of...

Sorry In Advance Men's Socks

$12.99

Our Sorry In Advance Men's Socks are apologetically unapologetic. Basically, they're going to do want they want, regardless of what you say. Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it! A fun gift for your favorite bad boy! These creme colored socks feature...

2-in-1 Cornhole + Beer Ring Toss

$16.99

Picnic games played whenever you want! Our family funtastic 2-in-1 Cornhole + Beer Ring Toss takes the fun of cornhole to the other end of the spectrum by turning it into a tabletop game. But this Tabletop Game Set doesn't stop with cornhole, it adds in...

I Want A F*cking Pizza Dish Towel

$10.99

Your prayers have been answered!  Our I Want A Fucking Pizza Dish Towel has come down from the heavens and manifested itself into your hot little hands. Why settle for some plain dishrag? You deserve an extra cheese supreme masterpiece! Remember...

Oops, I'm Drunk Oven Mitt

$12.99

Wine and Dine There is truth in wine and our Oops, I'm Drunk Oven Mitt is telling it like it is! Wanna join me? I promise, the food's gonna taste wayyyy better this way. And fun loving gift for your tipsy cook!  Screen-printed in rich colors, Grape...

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and F*ck Off Oven Mitt

$12.99

Can you pass me some f*ck off? So we all know a few of those recipe robbers...  You know, the ones that will take and make your recipe then bask in all the glory!  Wars were started for less than this! Sure, I just use a little Parsley, Sage,...

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