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Happy Cloud Lip Gloss

$4.99

Our Happy Cloud Lip Gloss is a sweetly scented clear lip balm inside of a cheerful cloud!   Imagine looking down in your purse on a dreary day. Among receipts the keys you can't seem to find, a happy cloud face smiles up at you. It's not just any...

Olympic Long Sleeper Men's Crew Socks

$12.99

Carry a torch for your beloved bed Celebrate your favorite pastime and go for the gold in our Olympic Long Sleeper Men's Crew Socks! You can train and train, but you'll never be able to match my raw talent for snoozing.  When you snooze you...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Swamp Ass Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Our Swamp Ass Hand Sanitizer will crack you up! Get it? Crack! Butt crack! We're hilarious. Swamp ass attacks when you least expect it. And also, when you most expect it. Basically, it can happen at anytime. Wipe away worries and your sweaty,...

Lil' Mermaid Tail Kiddie Pool Float

$14.99

Floating Pool LoungeIntroducing, our Big Mouth Lil' Mermaid Kiddie Pool Float! Like mer-mother like mer-daugther, we assume your little one follows in your wake - larger than life personality with an voeracious appetite for laughs. And now, it's no...

Smitten Kitten Measuring Tape

$6.99

Unlike most every other kitty on the planet, our Smitten Kitten Measuring Tape is actually encouraging you to pull her tail.  No, it's not a trap! You can trust! Promise. We're totally not kitten. It's paws down just the cutest tape measure...

All Food Is Dog Food Dish Towel

$10.99

Our hilariously accurate All Food Is Dog Food Dish Towel is all it's barked up to be! Because, as any dog owner knows, there's no such thing as the 5 second rule when you have a dog around! If you have a furry 4 legged-vacuum cleaner you'll know exactly...

Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum

$1.99

Introducing, our Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Gum. Since you were a child, everyone's always told you to always be yourself.  This is great advice and should always be worn on your sleeve... unless you can be a unicorn. Be sure to...

Enchanted Unicorn Notepads

$7.99

Unicorn Quest! Sure, you may be filled with dark, angry thoughts at times, but you can write those somewhere else!  Take a vacation from negativity with our Enchanted Unicorn Notebooks!  They're the perfect place to capture those sunny...

Giant Unicorn Snow Tube Sled

$24.99

Wanna see a unicorn fly? Hop on! Our Giant Unicorn Snow Tube is a huge improvement over those harsh slabs of plastic people have been sledding with since wooly mammoths roamed the earth. Simply inflate, find a snowy hill, then grab the comfort grip...

I F*cking Love It Out Here Socks

$10.99 $9.25

Camping Socks Our I F*cking Love It Out Here Socks will capture the ecstatic f*cking bliss you feel from escaping fluorescent lights and embracing the great outdoors!  Ahhhh, the sights and sounds of communing with nature: birds, bugs, blue skies,...

Pickle Air Freshener

$3.99

Serious pickle lovers will relish the scent of our Pickle Air Freshener! We've always wanted to have a green car so we could call it Pickle. Obviously, so we could say that we're in a pickle and running late. And, we love pickles. Maybe you simply feel...

Sharkie Shark Sprinkler

$29.99

Beware! May induce ankle biter giggling frenzy! Water we talking about? Our inflatable Sharkie Shark Sprinkler (not to be confused with Marky Mark - but he's okay with that too) is the some fin that has been missing form your summer fun! You'll be up...

Sorry In Advance Men's Socks

$12.99

Our Sorry In Advance Men's Socks are apologetically unapologetic. Basically, they're going to do want they want, regardless of what you say. Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it! A fun gift for your favorite bad boy! These creme colored socks feature...

You Fancy B*tch Crew Socks

$10.99

Fancy, Floral + Foul Mouthed SocksThese flowers won't hide the flowery language of our You Fancy Bitch Crew Socks for long! Here's a shout out to all the stylish ladies out there whom seem to have their shit together 24/7. Unlike the majority of us whom,...

Calm The F**k Down Tea Snarky Tea

$14.99

Adulting is hard.    Like, really hard.     Our Calm The F*ck Down Snarky Tea can help. You’re late for work and there’s crazy traffic. There’s mascara in your eye, concealer on your white pants and to top it off,...

Floating Glitter Photo Frame

$8.49 $7.99

*Poof* Preserve your favorite magical moments in one of our Floating Glitter Photo Frames! No matter how big or small, they will unleash a flood of memories and glitter, as they wash over your favorite photo, making remembering those happy moments all...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth PleaseSeriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Super F*cking Awesome Socks

$10.99 $9.25

Like Super Duper F*cking Awesome SocksOur Super Fucking Awesome Women's Ankle Socks are, well, super fucking awesome. As they do say so themselves! Know what else is super fucking awesome? You! You were on time to work, your hair looks fab, your...

Unicorn Toothbrush Holder

$6.49 $5.45

Sparkly Unicorn White Teeth Our super cute Elodie Unicorn Toothbrush Holder will help your toothbrush against yucky germs! It will also encourage you to reach for your brush more often, resulting in a more brilliant smile! Elodie closes right over...

A Boy And His Dog Men's Socks

$12.99

Our mastiff'ly cute Blue Q A Boy And His Dog Men's Socks charmingly sums up the special relationship between a boy and his dog. Whether that boy happens to be 6 or 60! You don't need a special occasion to give one to the good boy in your life! It's...

CBD Gummy Watermelon Rings

$24.99

Feeling a bit melon-choly? Our CBD infused edibles will save the day! Formulated with cannabidiol our CBD Gummy Watermelon Rings help to promote an awesome sense of calm and overall wellness,  CBD is short for cannabidiol...

Coconut Basil Lip Shit

$6.99

Cruelty Free Lip Balm We are giving you a rare opportunity to be a ukulele lady (or gentlemen) and we'll be a monkey's uncle if you don't love our Coconut Basil Lip Shit!  It is made from a beeswax formula and is extremely smooth and easy-to-apply...

Corgi & Pug Beverage Boats

$9.99

Welcome to the Pug and Corgi show! No reason to put the party on paws when our Corgi & Pug Beverage Boats are doggy paddling right beside you! When you've been working like a dog all week, and are literally at the end of your leash, having to get...

Magnetite Lodestone Magnetic Rock

$3.99

We're positive that budding geologists and rock enthusiasts alike will be instantly attracted to our Magnetite Lodestone! This rare mineral is naturally - you guessed it - magnetic.  Used in early navigation and thought to have magical properties,...

Natural Born Assh*le Men's Socks

$12.99

Socks For Most MenIf he talks like an asshole and looks like an asshole, chances are he is an asshole... and needs our Natural Born Asshole Men's Socks. Now, you may be thinking... why would I get a gift for that asshole? Well, not THAT asshole, but your...

Retro Mixtape Jumbo Pouch

$9.99

With our Retro Mixtape Jumbo Pouch, getting wound up about losing stuff in your giant bag is a thing of past! If you're a child of the 70's or 80's you'll know that mixtapes were life. They were essential in capturing your fav songs off the radio,...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

Unique Unicorn Click-It Eraser

$1.99

Beautiful unicorns adorn each one of our Unique Unicorn Click-It Erasers making for a magical erasing experience. Clearly, the loveliest of all erasers, they are the simple, fun and an adorably cute way to erase pencil markings. Now, we're not one to...

F*ck It Gum

$1.99

Pardon Our Fucking French What's my new personal motto you ask? F*CK IT! Pardon my French. With 8 pieces of this delicious fruit flavored gum, you'll get your point across quickly! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall.

Icy Pops Scented Puzzle Eraser

$3.99

Fruit scented! Our fantastic Icy Pops Scented Puzzle Eraser Set comes with 4 popsicle shaped erasers that you can mix and match and create all sorts of cute pencil eraser color combinations. Erase pencil mistakes with cute pencil erasers that look like...

Lil' Pink Flamingo Kiddie Pool Float

$14.99 $12.65

Our Big Mouth Lil' Pink Flamingo Kiddie Pool Float was designed for the cutest ‘mingo in the flock! Why fit in when you were born to stand out! We assume your little one follows in your footsteps—big personality with an appetite for laughs...

Namaste Motherf**ker Snarky Tea

$14.99

The choice of a new generation of yogis. Our Namaste Mother F**ker Snarky Tea is quenching the inner thirst of the new wave of snarky yoga practitioners. That's right. There's a new set of yogis in town, and we’re here for the elastic waistbands,...

President Trump Troll

$14.99 $12.65

Meet the President Trump Troll. The greatest collectible for both fans and foes. Because being President of the United States takes character and there's never been a character like this before. He's always got something to say. "My hair, my hair is SO...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

CBD Gummy Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

There's a CBD party in my tummy! Feeling funny, feeling funny... You may enjoy the occasional Yo Gabba Gabba episode, but our CBD Gummy Party Pack are for adults only! They do not contain THC - rather they do contain the super awesome power of CBD oil...

I Was F*cking Talking Socks

$10.99

Pissed Off Pineapple Socks Our deliciously juicy I Was F*cking Talking Socks speaks volumes without saying a word! Now, you know you're going to where these on days you expect to run into someone who grates on your nerves. Maybe it's not...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Pooping At Work Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

So one minute you're looking your colleagues in the eye, working on work stuff.  The next minute you're seperated by mere inches of a bathroom stall with your pants down.  Down!Is the hand dryer at the office just recycling all those fart germs...

Swing Your Thing Men's Golf Socks

$12.99

These Are Not About A Penis Golfing Socks​You know when they say the grass is always greener?  Well this is the other side they're talking about! Our Swing Your Thing Golf Men's Socks are a hole-in-one! Okay, that was too easy. Look, we know very...

Tongue Ties Dog Cable Ties

$5.99

Dog.  Man's best friend.  But of course every relationship has it's up and downs... like when they dig for Tootsie Rolls in the litter box and then giving you a big slobbery kiss right afterwards. All in all, that's not so terrier-able...

Weed Money Coin Purse

$3.99

Our adorably giggly Weed Money Coin Purse is highly sought after throughout the kawaii loving stoner community.   Let's be blunt.   It might not be big enough for your stash but... it's a start!   For sure, it can easily hold some coinage...