Soaps + Sprays

You know what really stinks?  Not being able to find the perfect gift!  Clean up your act with our awesome collection of soap and sprays!  With witty gift soaps, silly hand sanitizers, and magical breath sprays we're sure you'll find something brilliant to freshen up your shopping list!

Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Who? Who? Who? Seriously though, WHO is responsible for our Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist? Baha Men, we're looking at you. Scented with citrus and mint, and a hint of green moss, you can almost forget that it's sole purpose in life is to shield...

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Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Because lighting a match around all of that gas doesn't seem like a good idea. Our Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist is made with fragrant essential oils to avoid cheap perfume fog and butt smog. Two quick squirts in the toilet before you squat and that Taco...

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Einstein's Bath-Time Continuum Soap

$3.49

Gets you relatively clean Our Einstein's Bath-Time Continuum Soap is made entirely of atoms and molecules, including vegetable saop with glycerine, shea butter, cocoa butter, olive oil, grapseed oil, almond oild, and cocoa bean shell. This tiny bar...

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Bitch Slap Those Germs! Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Take that Germ Bitches!Take that, germ bitches!   Some would say knowledge is power and knowing that we can kill the germs on our hands with a simple dab of Bitch Slap Those Germs! Hand Sanitizer is priceless information.   Keep it in the car,...

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Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

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Uranus Soap

$3.49

Uranus isn't just a planet Your bathroom isn't complete without Uranus Soap. If you're looking for a way to spice up your next family together, make sure you have this soap in plain sight! Tiny 2oz. hotel-size bar of soap** Unscented. Funny-Ass...

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The Joy of Bathing with Bob Ross Soap

$3.49 $2.99

Bob Ross Wet-on-Wet Technique Reach for The Joy of Bathing with Bob Ross Soap whenever you’re feeling a little Prussian Blue!   Make some happy little clouds of foam! This vegetable soap is made with glycerin, shea butter, and cocoa...

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My Job Gives Me Diarrhea Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

We sh*t you not! Our My Job Gives Me Diarrhea Hand Sanitizer is an actual product. It's a combination of our #1 and #2 top office gifts! The truth is, my job doesn't actually give me diarrhea. But it HAS taught me how to spell diarrhea, which is a...

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Trump's Small Hand Soap

$3.49 $2.99

For dirty politics Would you believe that our Trump's Small Hand Soap was made in Russia?  How about that it can remove stains and marks on your cabinet?  We heard a rumor that this is the preferred soap for Rachel Maddow and Don Lemon - that...

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Uranus Lavatory Mist

$11.99

And now, for an in-depth look into Uranus Lavatory Mist... Blah blah blah, something about gaseous planets... enough with the fluff, already! Here's the deal: "Uranus" is never not funny. So, we ran with it. Butt, in case you didn't know... Uranus's...

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British Accent Breath Spray

$5.99

Exceptionally Polite Breath Thanks to our amazing Instant British Accent Breath Spray, having a British accent is as easy as making a cup of tea!  You'll instantly sound richer, smarter and even look more attractive!   This snap-acting...

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Talk With Your Cat Breath Spray

$5.99

After years of testing by NASA, the anxiously awaited and groundbreaking Instantly Talk with Your Cat Breath Spray has finally been made available to the public.   Never before has the world seen a more useful product. Never. Just one quick spritz...

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Understand Men Breath Spray

$5.99

No One Can Truely Understand Men Are you facing the ultimate task of understanding a man?  The only thing you can do is use our Understand Men Breath Spray.  The extra strength mint formula will give you the ability to train with bacon, talk...

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Freedom Soap - Foam Of The Brave

$3.49

Give me your grungy, your mired, your muddy masses yearning to be clean! Liberate your self from that stinky, stanky, day old, funk with our Freedom soap!  Apparently, independence smells of garden cucumber with a hint of olive oil.  Who...

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Thanks For Scooping My Poop Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

If cats had thumbs the situation would be completely different. But till that happens, were stuck scooping litter boxes and cleaning up after our kitties. So after you've scoured the litter box for nuggets, use our Thanks For Scooping My Poop Hand...

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50 Shades Of Brown Lavatory Mist

$11.99

People Don't Need To Smell It Bathroom Spray You need to get comfortable before settling in with your Fifty Shades of Grey.  Don't leave an aroma that will detract from your read!  Use our Fifty Shades of Brown to keep the mood just so... No...

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Be a Mermaid + Make Waves Soap Dispenser

$12.99 $7.99

Holy Mother of Pearl! Our Be a Mermaid and Make Waves Soap Dispenser shore is awesome! Now you can kelp keep your little mermaid's hands while making the process totally fintastic. Germs will soon meet their match once their natural born anemone is...

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Kitten Bath Soap

$3.49

Our Kitten Bath Soap is just the size for little paw paws that try to like to jump in the shower. True story... Walked into the house last night and Mr. Whiskers was all like, "Listen, I've been grooming and watching birds all day.  Don't you even...

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Freud's Wash Fulfillment Soap

$3.49

The soap you can slip on... Freud's Wash Fulfillment Soap. Mysophobia* got you down? As the good doctor said, "Dirt of any kind seems to us incompatible with civilization." Freudian Soap washes away germs and dirt and it's guaranteed to get your hands...

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Ship Happens Poo-Pourri

$9.99

Ahoy Maties! Next time you're in close quarters, but feel like you gotta abandon sh**... they'll be no reason to rush to the panic station, because we're going to throw you a line! With our naughty Ship Happens Poo~Pourri Toilet Spray as your First Mate,...

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Secret Santa Poo-Pourri

$9.99 $5.99

Keep the shhh in sh*t with our Secret Santa Poo-Pourri Toilet Spray! Family gatherings are great! Until, well.. the after dessert coffee starts working. Don't stress! We'll help you keep the shhh in sh*t with our Secret Santa Poo-Pourri Toilet Spray!...

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Swamp Ass Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Our Swamp Ass Hand Sanitizer will crack you up! Get it? Crack! Butt crack! We're hilarious. Swamp ass attacks when you least expect it. And also, when you most expect it. Basically, it can happen at anytime. Wipe away worries and your sweaty,...

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I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's just say... crapping...

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Rosie's We Can Wash It! Soap

$3.49

Tough job? Not a problem. Even when you knock off for the day, you'll be riveting when you lather up with Rosie's We Can Wash It! Soap Tiny bar of soap (though it be but little, it is fierce.) Removes elbow grease. Don't be afraid to get your...

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Magic Unicorn Rainbow Soap Dispenser

$12.99 $7.99

For When You Need To Clean Glitter Off Your Hands! Unicorns are magical and our Magic Unicorn Rainbow Soap Dispenser will, in kind, magically clean up your glitter covered craft hands in a wondrous way only unicorn power can! Did we mention it...

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Pooping At Work Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

So one minute you're looking your colleagues in the eye, working on work stuff.  The next minute you're seperated by mere inches of a bathroom stall with your pants down.  Down!Is the hand dryer at the office just recycling all those fart germs...

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