Soaps + Sprays

You know what really stinks?  Not being able to find the perfect gift!  Clean up your act with our awesome collection of soap and sprays!  With witty gift soaps, silly hand sanitizers, and magical breath sprays we're sure you'll find something brilliant to freshen up your shopping list!

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Instantly Control Your Family Breath Spray

$5.99

It's not that you don't love them.  It's just that if they did what you wanted, maybe you'd love them a little bit more.  Our Instantly Control Your Family Breath Spray is so strong it works on extended family!   Instantly control your...

Did You Wash Your Hands? Seriously Soap Dispenser

$12.99

Our cheeky Did You Wash Your Hands? Seriously Soap Dispenser is a fun reminder that can't pull one over on mom! If you have a mom or are a mom chances are you've heard or uttered this phrase printed on the side of this liquid soap dispenser more...

Pooping At Work Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

So one minute you're looking your colleagues in the eye, working on work stuff.  The next minute you're seperated by mere inches of a bathroom stall with your pants down.  Down!Is the hand dryer at the office just recycling all those fart germs...

Feel Incredibly High Instantly Breath Spray

$5.99

Introducing our Feel Incredibly High Instantly Breath Spray... Liquid Marijuana*.  Your very own Buzz in a Bottle! Catch the perfect buzz without catching the heat!  Get high at work, in class, even at the pool! So discreet you can use it...

Freedom Soap - Foam Of The Brave

$3.49

Give me your grungy, your mired, your muddy masses yearning to be clean! Liberate your self from that stinky, stanky, day old, funk with our Freedom soap!  Apparently, independence smells of garden cucumber with a hint of olive oil.  Who knew!...

Talk With Your Cat Breath Spray

$5.99

After years of testing by NASA, the anxiously awaited and groundbreaking Instantly Talk with Your Cat Breath Spray has finally been made available to the public.   Never before has the world seen a more useful product. Never. Just one quick spritz...

Thanks For Scooping My Poop Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

If cats had thumbs the situation would be completely different. But till that happens, were stuck scooping litter boxes and cleaning up after our kitties. So after you've scoured the litter box for nuggets, use our Thanks For Scooping My Poop Hand...

Freud's Wash Fulfillment Soap

$3.49

The soap you can slip on... Freud's Wash Fulfillment Soap. Mysophobia* got you down? As the good doctor said, "Dirt of any kind seems to us incompatible with civilization." Freudian Soap washes away germs and dirt and it's guaranteed to get your hands...

Sh*tting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You're not seeing things, our Shitting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist actually does exist! And this shit is magic! Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. But unicorns? They eat glitter. And, we don't think we need to tell you...

Just Texting On The Toilet Real Quick Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Calm down, everybody does it.  You just gotta be smart about it.  Do everything in the right order and don't let things touch other things.  Then apply our Just Texting On The Toilet Real Quick Hand Sanitizer.Texting in the bathroom allows...

Secret Santa Poo-Pourri

$9.99

Keep the shhh in sh*t with our Secret Santa Poo-Pourri Toilet Spray! Family gatherings are great! Until, well.. the after dessert coffee starts working. Don't stress! We'll help you keep the shhh in sh*t with our Secret Santa Poo-Pourri Toilet Spray! You...

Einstein's Bath-Time Continuum Soap

$3.49

Gets you relatively clean Our Einstein's Bath-Time Continuum Soap is made entirely of atoms and molecules, including vegetable soap with glycerine, Shea butter, cocoa butter, olive oil, grapeseed oil, almond oil, and cocoa bean shell. This tiny bar...

Uranus Lavatory Mist

$11.99

And now, for an in-depth look into Uranus Lavatory Mist... Blah blah blah, something about gaseous planets... enough with the fluff, already! Here's the deal: "Uranus" is never not funny. So, we ran with it. Butt, in case you didn't know... Uranus's...

Rosie's We Can Wash It! Soap

$3.49

Tough job? Not a problem. Even when you knock off for the day, you'll be riveting when you lather up with Rosie's We Can Wash It! Soap Tiny bar of soap (though it be but little, it is fierce.) Removes elbow grease. Don't be afraid to get your hands...

50 Shades Of Brown Lavatory Mist

$11.99

People Don't Need To Smell It Bathroom Spray You need to get comfortable before settling in with your Fifty Shades of Grey.  Don't leave an aroma that will detract from your read!  Use our Fifty Shades of Brown to keep the mood just so... No...

Kitten Bath Soap

$3.49

Our Kitten Bath Soap is just the size for little paw paws that try to like to jump in the shower. True story... Walked into the house last night and Mr. Whiskers was all like, "Listen, I've been grooming and watching birds all day.  Don't you even...

Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Who? Who? Who? Seriously though, WHO is responsible for our Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist? Baha Men, we're looking at you. Scented with citrus and mint, and a hint of green moss, you can almost forget that it's sole purpose in life is to shield your...

Thanks For Holding My Hair Back Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

A gift for really, really good friends. It's our Blue Q Thanks For Holding My Hair Back Hand Sanitizer!  Because a great friend will always understand, always keep your secrets and always tell you how perfect you look.  But most importantly, a...

Ship Happens Poo-Pourri

$9.99

Ahoy Maties! Next time you're in close quarters, but feel like you gotta abandon sh**... they'll be no reason to rush to the panic station, because we're going to throw you a line! With our naughty Ship Happens Poo~Pourri Toilet Spray as your First Mate,...

Be a Mermaid + Make Waves Soap Dispenser

$12.99

Holy Mother of Pearl! Our Be a Mermaid and Make Waves Soap Dispenser shore is awesome! Now you can kelp keep your little mermaid's hands while making the process totally fintastic. Germs will soon meet their match once their natural born anemone is...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other people, though.   Handshakes,...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

Total Eclipse Of The Fart Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A fresh remix of an old favorite, our Total Eclipse Of The Fart Lavatory Mist by Blue Q is on track to be a hit in the bathroom! You need this now, tonight.  You need this more than ever. (Especially if it's Taco Tuesday.) Whether you farted or...

Swamp Ass Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Our Swamp Ass Hand Sanitizer will crack you up! Get it? Crack! Butt crack! We're hilarious. Swamp ass attacks when you least expect it. And also, when you most expect it. Basically, it can happen at anytime. Wipe away worries and your sweaty,...

Would Definitely Sh*t Here Again Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A cheeky gift for your favorite afi-shit-ionado our Would Definitely Shit Here Again Lavatory Mist will alert visitors to your impressive bathroom rating, and provide them with some reading material while they take a load off! Or is it pinch a loaf off?...

Pink + Turquoise Scented Spray-In Hair Color

$7.99

Think you're ready to make a radical change to your hair, but afraid to make a long term commitment? (like your jerk of an ex) Now you can have party hair on the weekend, and be back to business come Monday morning.  How you say? Dip dye, highlight...

Trump's Small Hand Soap

$3.49

For dirty politics Would you believe that our Trump's Small Hand Soap was made in Russia?  How about that it can remove stains and marks on your cabinet?  We heard a rumor that this is the preferred soap for Rachel Maddow and Don Lemon - that...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's just say... crapping...

British Accent Breath Spray

$5.99

Exceptionally Polite Breath Thanks to our amazing Instant British Accent Breath Spray, having a British accent is as easy as making a cup of tea!  You'll instantly sound richer, smarter and even look more attractive!   This snap-acting formula...