Soaps + Sprays

You know what really stinks?  Not being able to find the perfect gift!  Clean up your act with our awesome collection of soap and sprays!  With witty gift soaps, silly hand sanitizers, and magical breath sprays we're sure you'll find something brilliant to freshen up your shopping list!

Would Definitely Sh*t Here Again Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A cheeky gift for your favorite afi-shit-ionado our Would Definitely Shit Here Again Lavatory Mist will alert visitors to your impressive bathroom rating, and provide them with some reading material while they take a load off! Or is it pinch a loaf off?...

Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Who? Who? Who? Seriously though, WHO is responsible for our Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist? Baha Men, we're looking at you. Scented with citrus and mint, and a hint of green moss, you can almost forget that it's sole purpose in life is to shield...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

Total Eclipse Of The Fart Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A fresh remix of an old favorite, our Total Eclipse Of The Fart Lavatory Mist by Blue Q is on track to be a hit in the bathroom! You need this now, tonight.  You need this more than ever. (Especially if it's Taco Tuesday.) Whether you farted or...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

Hillary's Uranium (One) Glow In The Dark Soap

$7.99

Cleans up messes faster than getting an illegal FISA warrant! Has your morning glow been missing lately? Radioactivate your day in the most environmentally friendly, organic way! When you use our Hillary's favorite Uranium (One) Bar of Glow In The...

Narcissist Soap

$6.99

This soap is all about you... You have to have this Narcissist Soap because it is all about you. You are the cleanest person ever. Nobody is cleaner than you are. This is the soap for the person who is just the best. Helps you clean all the germs, other...

Mister Rogers Soap

$3.99

Feel Mister Rogers clean! Mister Rogers' Soap says: "Your sink is special!" Wash your hands before puppets! Wash your hands after feeding the fish! You can never go down the drain when you cleanse yourself with Mister Rogers' Soap. It gives you such a...

Trump's Small Hand Soap

$3.49

For dirty politics Would you believe that our Trump's Small Hand Soap was made in Russia?  How about that it can remove stains and marks on your cabinet?  We heard a rumor that this is the preferred soap for Rachel Maddow and Don Lemon - that...

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