Soaps + Sprays

You know what really stinks?  Not being able to find the perfect gift!  Clean up your act with our awesome collection of soap and sprays!  With witty gift soaps, silly hand sanitizers, and magical breath sprays we're sure you'll find something brilliant to freshen up your shopping list!

Soap for a Midlife Crisis

$9.99

Will not fade new tattoos! Our Soap for a Midlife Crisis smells like a motorcycle, or a perm or maybe even a food truck. Whatever it is, you're throwing caution to the wind and finally going for it. And not a second too soon. Your chances of getting hit...

Soap for Karma

$9.99

Scented with Ha-ha-ha-ha. Sorry not sorry. Our Soap for Karma is a perfect gift for those who Know-What-They-Did. What goes around... comes around, we hope. We're not necessarily talking about tricky STDs here, although, y'know, you reap what you sow...

Soap for Dad Bods

$9.99

Smells like cookies & cable sports Our Soap for Dad Bods helps build unwavering confidence and smells like toasted marshmallow. Mmmmm... marshmallows. And now there's no reason to feel guilty for indulging. Thanks to an incredible new development in...

Soap for the Middle Child

$9.99

Who are you again? Our Soap for the Middle Child is for all the forgotten kids out there that got lost in the mix. The oldest always got the love and the youngest got all the attention. We'll just go ahead and dye our hair purple. No one will notice...

Soap for Stoners

$9.99

Puff, puff, pass the soap! Our Soap for Stoners smells like Colorado and might antagonize the DEA when you lather up real well. It's a great bar of soap for your sink or bath where it can be 4:20 whenever you want. Stoners Soap is a great gift for weed...

Soap for the Trophy Husband

$9.99

Living your best life. Our Soap for the Trophy Husband is for that lucky guy... see him there. See that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a...

Soap for Bromance

$9.99

Frisbee golf date? This brotastic bar of Bromance Soap smells like someone has a new friend. I used to consider you a lone wolf, but that's all in the past now. Yeah, I saw you buying that growler of Belgian dark ale for your new beer-whispering bestie...

Mister Rogers Soap

$3.99 $3.51

Feel Mister Rogers clean! Mister Rogers' Soap says: "Your sink is special!" Wash your hands before puppets! Wash your hands after feeding the fish! You can never go down the drain when you cleanse yourself with Mister Rogers' Soap. It gives you such a...

Narcissist Soap

$6.99 $6.15

This soap is all about you... You have to have this Narcissist Soap because it is all about you. You are the cleanest person ever. Nobody is cleaner than you are. This is the soap for the person who is just the best. Helps you clean all the germs, other...

That Was Outstanding Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You did it! And well! REALLY well! How do you feel? Amazing? And... um... lighter? Nothing like a little self affirmation with our That Was Outstanding Lavatory Mist! Just two quick mists will cure the air of any poop foulness. Smells great Funny...

This Sh*t Is Bananas Lavatory Mist

$11.99

B-a-n-a-n-a-s! You know things have gone crazy when people are using our This Shit is Bananas Lavatory Mist after a long bathroom visit! Toss one in your purse or leave one in the bathroom, with over 500 applications in each bottle, they're great! How...

Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Because lighting a match around all of that gas doesn't seem like a good idea. Our Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist is made with fragrant essential oils to avoid cheap perfume fog and butt smog. Two quick squirts in the toilet before you squat and that Taco Bell...

Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Who? Who? Who? Seriously though, WHO is responsible for our Who Let The Logs Out Lavatory Mist? Baha Men, we're looking at you. Scented with citrus and mint, and a hint of green moss, you can almost forget that it's sole purpose in life is to shield your...

Would Definitely Sh*t Here Again Lavatory Mist

$11.99

A cheeky gift for your favorite afi-shit-ionado our Would Definitely Shit Here Again Lavatory Mist will alert visitors to your impressive bathroom rating, and provide them with some reading material while they take a load off! Or is it pinch a loaf off?...

Sh*tting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist

$11.99

You're not seeing things, our Shitting Glitter Magical Unicorn Lavatory Mist actually does exist! And this shit is magic! Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. But unicorns? They eat glitter. And, we don't think we need to tell you...

Uranus Lavatory Mist

$11.99

And now, for an in-depth look into Uranus Lavatory Mist... Blah blah blah, something about gaseous planets... enough with the fluff, already! Here's the deal: "Uranus" is never not funny. So, we ran with it. Butt, in case you didn't know... Uranus's...

Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Russion Collusion To Cover Up For Your Poop No matter how strenuous the investigation is against you taking a poop in public, with our Vladimir Pootin Lavatory Mist your sh*t will come out smelling like flowers - jasmine to be exact! Why? Because a...

Freedom Soap - Foam Of The Brave

$3.49 $3.07

Foam of the brave! Give me your grungy, your mired, your muddy masses yearning to be clean! Liberate your self from that stinky, stanky, day old, funk with our Freedom soap!  Apparently, independence smells of garden cucumber with a hint of olive...

And Jesus Washed Soap - Washes Away Everything But Sins

$3.49

Oh for sud's sake, wash your feet!  Then wash someone else's feet.  But remember to wash before supper, because cleanliness is next to... well you know. Make your sink or tub interesting with our soapier than thou And Jesus Washed Soap! Ponder...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

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