Gift Guide

2019 Gift GuideIt's our popular 2019 Unique Gift Guide!

Find the perfect gift! Shopping for gifts has never been so much fun! We'll grab your hand and we'll help you explore the depths of awesomeness lurking below the surf.  Our 2019 Gift Guide has fun suggestions to find the best gift for Him, Her, Kids, Teenagers, Co-workers + Pets and more!

 

The Hell You Looking At Cat Mug

$11.99

Yep, sounds like a cat to us! Our hilarious The Hell You Looking At Cat Mug proves EVERYTHING is nicer with kittens! The juxtaposition of these sweet little innocent kitties along side this bitter phrase will sneak up on you like a seemingly friendly...

The Original Wiz-z-zer

$7.99

Go on, take it for a spin The Original Wiz-z-zer is back and it's ready to shred the competition! Step aside Beyblades there's a new sheriff in town!  You can't expect your mom to hold on to you all of your old toys! So, if you've been...

Affirmators! Journal

$14.69

Lucky you! Our magically uplifting Affirmators! Journal has manifested its way into your life! Rainbows, unicorns, and good vibes, oh my! Our customer favorite Affirmators! Affirmation Cards has now transformed itself into a deliciously silly and...

Be Bold Or Italic Never Regular Zipper Pouch

$6.99

At first, this bag was going to say "Be Helvetica or Copperplate, Never Ever Papyrus."  But then we thought it might be a little too niche. Our cheeky Be Bold Or Italic Never Regular Zipper Pouch helps you keep your priorities in order.  Oh,...

Bitch, Be Cool Gum

$1.99

What up, dawg. Introducing our savagely fun Bitch, Be Cool Gum. Did you think we were above putting the word "bitch" next to an image of a dog just for a good laugh? You were wrong. If you didn't read the phrase on our Bitch, Be Cool Gum in Samuel L...

Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle

$11.99

Babies can learn to count while doing reps! Our Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle turns junior into a bench-pressin' body-builder!  Never be embarrassed by "baby fat" again!  Seriously folks... don't read into that statement (or send us hate mail) -...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs to use Cat Astronaut Mints before and during all of...

CBD Gummy Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

There's a CBD party in my tummy! Feeling funny, feeling funny... You may enjoy the occasional Yo Gabba Gabba episode, but our CBD Gummy Party Pack are for adults only! They do not contain THC - rather they do contain the super awesome power of CBD oil...

Chow Time Black Cat Handy Tote

$9.99

Just us, or does the expression on our Chow Time Black Cat Handy Tote seem to be this kitty cat's response to who wants kittttty fooooood? Here kitty kitty! While we purffur a block of cheese, some dark chocolate, a fresh baguette, and some catbernet -...

Clusterf*ck Dish Towel

$10.99

Embrace the almighty and apparently unavoidable clusterfuck with our Blue Q Clusterf*ck Dish Towel. Whether that clusterfuck refers to your disaster known as your kitchen, your day, your week, your love life, your lack of love life, your home, your...

Cornhole Men's Socks

$12.99

Our Cornhole Men's Socks will quickly become your lucky pair of gaming socks! Cornhole...  So Stupid, So Fun! And it's quickly become everyone's favorite lawn game/outdoor drinking activity! Whether you're tailgating, hosting a BBQ, or...

Deal With It Cat Meme Floaty Pen

$4.99

Cat meme! Our Deal With It Write Side Up Floaty Pen will allow you to get a firm grasp on reality while enjoying a timeless internet meme! Some things never change, like the thrill and amazement of being mesmerized by the hypnotic motion of a floaty...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

Doggy Bag Handy Lunch Tote

$9.99

After an evening of whining and dining, you can playfully bust out our totally fetching Doggy Bag Handy Tote to carry your leftovers home in! It's a DOGGY BAG. Get it??  Bone Appetit! (our apawlogies) This colorful and cheeky pooch tote can be used...

Drumstick Pen Set

$8.99

I just want to bang on my desk all day! You know that person, maybe it's you... the fidgety pen tapper! They'll pick up just about anything and tap out an impromptu drum solo, like they're playing to a crowd of thousands - not a water cooler and the...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

F*ck This Sh*t Men's Socks

$12.99

Not What I Want To Be Doing Right Now Socks We know, we know... why would a classy, well-dressed lumberjack such as this fella use that ugly, undignified word?  Because sometimes you just need a "Fuck," that's why. Our ruggedly handsome Fuck This...

F*ck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Greatest Day Ever Socks! Our hyper cute and enthusiastically vulgar Fuck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks are offering you perpetual permission to declare any day an anything goes kinda day! How about pizza for lunch?  Would you like another glass of wine?...

Giant Music Snob Men's Socks

$12.99

Our Giant Music Snob Men's Socks seem to scream "If it's on the charts, I'm not interested. Unless it's Beyonce. That woman is ON FIRE." We love music! We love listening to music, we love talking about music, we love experiencing live music, and while we...

Howligans Dog Leash Wire Hanger

$9.99

Bepaws losing your leash is a mastiff pain in the @ss! Always find yourself barking up the wrong tree looking for your dog's leash? Mount our hilarious Howligans Dog Wire Hanger in a handy place so you’re ready to dash when nature calls. The...

I Am Going To Get Sh*t Done. Later. Men's Socks

$12.99

We feel you. And our I Am Going To Get Shit Done. Later. Men's Socks will feel you too if you ever get around to buying them. Not that we're judging you, fellow procrastinators! Because it's okay! Sometimes you just need/deserve a sanity break. Watch...

I Need More Money And Power And Less Sh*t From You People Gum

$1.99

Smile and nod.  Smile and nod.  Make sure to wear your mouth guard at night, so you don't grind your teeth down to nubs. You may not be able to lighten the workload at the office, but you sure can lighten the mood with our I Need More Money...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum

$1.99

Feeling all philo-sloth-ical and stuff Good times are a plenty with our I'm So High. It's Awesome. Sloth Gum.  Embrace the lazy but amazy attitude of everyone's favorite slow roller. Word on the street is that you're looking to score some peppermint...

Kick Today in the Nuts Mug

$11.99

Kick it! A great way to start your day is to drink out of our Kick Today in the Nuts mug! Don't let today beat you and get you down. Our mug is probably... maybe, guaranteed or something, to keep that smile on your face while the day keeps throwing...

Lunch Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Milk Money Stash BagOur kitschy Lunch Money Coin Purse is small enough to fit in your pocket, or your smallest clutch. But, it's also big enough to hold your license, credit card, and milk money!   With the adorable milk carton, apple, banana, and...

Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel

$12.99

Watch out for your ankles! Our Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel is coming right for ya, and will keep you on your toes in the kitchen! Would you just look at this kitty cat. So stinking pleased with herself because she's ripped the hell out your...

Man With A Pan Oven Mitt

$12.99

A man with a plan pan! Why does "Man With A Pan" sound so concerning at first? Oh that's probably just a personal fear of mine materializing while I write this product description. At my house, "I cook... you clean" 9 out of 10 times results in my...

Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks

$10.99

Socks For The Alpha Females In Your Live Whether you're kicking back or kicking @ss our Motherf*cking Girl Power Socks will be there to cheer you on! And trust us.. those naysayers will get your message loud and clear! Don't even get us star'ted on how...

My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks

$10.99

Purrfect for pouncing around town or lounging in your fav sunspot Our My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks playfully points out the obvious about your BFF - Best Furry Friend.  Fur real, we'd much paw-fur spending time with our cat over suf-fur-ing through...

My Favorite Salad Is Wine Socks

$10.99

Salad Daze SocksSandwich, shmandwich.  Lettuce just skip right to the good stuff! Do you prefer your salad with stems or without?  Full-bodied with notes of cherry or light and effervescent?  Our vibrantly funny My Favorite Salad Is Wine...

My Safe Word Is Takeout Dish Towel

$10.99

Our My Safe Word Is Takeout Dish Towel addresses a serious(ly funny) issue. We know that, these days, Take-Out is still a taboo subject. But just because people aren't talking about it doesn't mean that they're not out there doing it. We're just saying...

My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum

$1.99

Whatever, Karen. Our snarky My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum is the perfectly absurd rebuttal for when you're too deep into your own (Netflix) marathon training and simply too chill to care.  If you're like us, you're exhausted from sight...

Official World's Smallest Perplexus

$9.99

Easy to Play... Hard to Master! We can describe the World's Smallest Perplexus in one word. A-maze-ing. *badum tssh* Perplexus Original now comes in a miniature pocket-sized edition so you can keep playing on the go! This 3D maze has always been a fun...

Olympic Long Sleeper Men's Crew Socks

$12.99

Carry a torch for your beloved bed Celebrate your favorite pastime and go for the gold in our Olympic Long Sleeper Men's Crew Socks! You can train and train, but you'll never be able to match my raw talent for snoozing.  When you snooze you...

Original Leafy Green Wake and Bake Mug

$23.99

Start your morning nice and toasty with our Wake and Bake Mug!  Getting up in the morning can be so hard... and the best part of waking up is hot java & kind bud in your mug! Our Wake & Bake Mug makes the process of mustering motivation in...

Pick-Its Cocktail Picks

$6.99

Make America drink again! With our cleverly designed Pick-Its Cocktail Picks you can unite with your fellow party-goers to take on the establishment and CHOOSE BOOZE! Pick-Its are designed to look like tiny protest picket signs! They're sure to will...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

Potato Clips Bag Clips

$8.99

They're all that and a bag of chips!* The ultimate gift for chip-sters, our Potato Clips Bag Clips will keep your snacks fun and fresh with the authentic appearance of an actual potato chip! A visual pun for the humor impaired. We're about to Lays it...

President Donald Trump Toy Doll

$9.99

The greatest collectible toy for both FANS and foes. Because being President of the United States takes character and there's never been a character like this before. He's always got something to say.  Maybe send one of these to Pelosi or Schiff.....

Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser

$9.99

Our Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser will help brew the purrrfect cup of tea! Just fill this adorable kitty shaped tea infuser with your favorite loose tea leaves, hang its little paws on the edge of your cup, and you’ll be curling up with the coziest...

Ringmaster Of The Sh*tshow Pencil Case

$5.99

With our amazingly accurate Ringmaster of the Shitshow Pencil Case, you can proudly flash your cringe worthy credentials at the drop of an exasperated *sigh*! You're ringing it, you're slinging it, you're bringing it. And now you've got the bag to match!...

Rocket Science for Babies

$9.99

Launch your future Rocket Scientist! Written by an expert, Rocket Science for Babies is a colorfully simple introduction to aerospace engineering. Babies (and grownups!) will learn about the basics of how lift and thrust make things fly. With a...

Taco Tuesday Floaty Pen

$4.99

Our Taco Tuesday Write Side Up Floaty Pen celebrates everyone’s favorite weekday that doesn’t precede a weekend! It doesn’t get much better than tacos and if it’s socially acceptable… screw that, let’s have tacos...

Teeny-Tiny Record Turntable

$12.99

Includes 3 Mini-LPs to Play! Let those records spin with the Teeny-Tiny Record Turntable! While your record collection is miles away at home, this retro-style kit adds a bit of vintage vinyl charm to any home or office! This nostalgia inducing kit...

Unicorn Tea Infuser

$16.99

Infuse your day with positivi-tea with our Unicorn Tea Infuser! This majestic rainbow maned beauty will magically turn hot water into a cup of tea! Just add tea leaves to this Unicorn Tea Infuser, and let this mythical one-horned creature turn...

Weed Money Coin Purse

$4.99

Our adorably giggly Weed Money Coin Purse is highly sought after throughout the kawaii loving stoner community.   Let's be blunt.   It might not be big enough for your stash but... it's a start!   For sure, it can easily hold some coinage...

You Fancy B*tch Crew Socks

$10.99

Fancy, Floral + Foul Mouthed SocksThese flowers won't hide the flowery language of our You Fancy Bitch Crew Socks for long! Here's a shout out to all the stylish ladies out there whom seem to have their shit together 24/7. Unlike the majority of us whom,...

You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse

$4.99

Hey girl, just a little something to tell you that we...really like...you.  Just.  The way.  You are. Our perfectly patterned, You're Beautiful, Don't Change Coin Purse is made from an impressive 95% post-consumer material!  Used...

Beer Scented Candle

$11.99

Beer has always been there for you...  It was there when you graduated, every night after a hard day of work, kicking back with your friends and even when your team was winning or losing!  Beer never judged you and gave you unconditional love...

Bitches Get Stuff Done Coin Purse

$4.99

Go ahead.  At first glance, it may seem like this little girl is taking a joy ride on a sweet, puffy cloud.  But look again.  Kind of looks like the cloud's the one being taken for a ride, doesn't it?  Introducing the subtle...

Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks

$12.99

Signed, Sealed + Delivered SocksProudly label yourself or others with our Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks! Qualifying for certifications can be a nuisance for certain entities - they're often restrictive, cost prohibitive, and sometimes they miss...

Coconut Basil Lip Shit

$6.99

Cruelty Free Lip Balm We are giving you a rare opportunity to be a ukulele lady (or gentlemen) and we'll be a monkey's uncle if you don't love our Coconut Basil Lip Shit!  It is made from a beeswax formula and is extremely smooth and easy-to-apply...

Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen Into A Shithole Dish Towel

$10.99

Put your shit in the sink! Dripping with sarcasm and spilled drinks our Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen into a Shithole Dish Towel is not messing around! There's nothing like a delightfully crass kitchen towel to greet your guests, as it proudly...

Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist

$11.99

Because lighting a match around all of that gas doesn't seem like a good idea. Our Damn Dude! Lavatory Mist is made with fragrant essential oils to avoid cheap perfume fog and butt smog. Two quick squirts in the toilet before you squat and that Taco...

Fast Food Scented Candle

$11.99

If we didn't have to worry about our blood getting sluggish from the grease we'd totally eat fast food french fries for breakfast, lunch and dinner!   Instead we'll just sit here smelling this grease scented goodness.   Ketchup, mayo, Pete's...

Fur Four-Eyes Only Cat Coin Purse

$9.99

Jeepers creepers, where'd ya get those peepers? Jeepers creepers, where'd ya get that freaking adorable Fur Four-Eyes Only Cat Coin Purse? It's the purrfect place to stash your MILK essentials! Money, ID, Lipstick, Keys! There is a side pocket on the...

Hi. I Don't Care. Thanks. Socks

$10.99

Really Couldn't Care Less Socks To be honest, our effortlessly cheerful and relentlessly candid Hi, I Don't Care, Thanks Socks simply don't give a damn if like them or not.  But you will. One could say that socks are just like women...

I F*cking Love It Out Here Men's Socks

$12.99

Take a hike? Hill yes! Our I Fucking Love It Out Here Men's Socks are looking for a reason to stretch your legs and answer the call of the wild! Question: If a man in a forest shouts, "I fucking love it out here!" and no one hears it, does he make a...

I Gave A F*ck, Once Socks

$10.99

There's not much to say about our I Gave a F*ck, Once Socks that they don't already convey!     There was a time, way back before, in the olden days, at which you cared.   A little, not a lot.   Never did you ever give TWO F*cks...

Sign Up For The Latest Coupons, Product Launches + Secret Sales