Gift Guide

It's our 2020 Unique Gift Guide!

Find the perfect gift! Shopping for gifts has never been so much fun! We'll grab your hand and we'll help you explore the depths of awesomeness lurking below the surf.  Our 2020 Gift Guide has fun suggestions to find the best gift for Him, Her, Kids, Teenagers, Co-workers + Pets and more!

 

You're Beautiful Don't Change Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our delightful You're Beautiful Don't Change Oven Mitt is great for serving up tasty dishes and good vibes! You're beautiful just like the afternoon sky, a branch of flowers, or a friendly little bird. Actually, no. I take that back. Those things are...

401K Coin Purse

$4.99

Retirement Plan Coin Purse If you can fit your life savings in our 401K Coin Purse, you'll definitely need this laugh! In all seriousness, they say that by the time you retire, you should have something like 2 million in savings. We say, everyone's got...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

Up Yours Socks

$10.99

Up Yours Just Seems Nicer With Rainbows Socks For those days when you reluctantly have to play nice... you can tuck away your true feelings into your favorite kicks with our delightfully outspoken Up Yours Women's Crew Socks. Or if you're feeling bold...

Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks

$12.99

Signed, Sealed + Delivered SocksProudly label yourself or others with our Certified Pain In The Ass Men's Socks! Qualifying for certifications can be a nuisance for certain entities - they're often restrictive, cost prohibitive, and sometimes they miss...

Dinosaur Poop Lollipop

$4.99

You saur it here first! There's no bones about it, our Dinosaur Poop Lollipops are mammoth hit with dino lovers!  Melville Candy dinosaur poop lollipops are a fun unique sweet treat Hard candy green and blue swirl lollipops Coated with glittery...

Giant Wooden Pencil

$8.99

Straight from the land of giants... It's our Giant Pencil!   The greatest feature is that it's a real pencil!   And in that capacity, it functions in all the great ways that a real pencil does. The lead writes, the eraser erases and it's...

King For The Day Inflatable Crown

$6.99

Reach into your closet and pull out our King For The Day Crown and become instant royalty!  Just plop it on your noggin and let your reign begin! By no means does the, "for a day" part actually apply.  Wear this deluxe and regal inflatable...

Mini Desktop Golf Kit

$7.99

Feel like just puttering around? Our tee-rific Mini Desktop Golf Kit is the desktop distraction every golf enthusiast needs! Millions of golf lovers sit at their desks daydreaming of being on the golf course while stuck at work. That's exactly why this...

Super F*cking Awesome Socks

$10.99

Like Super Duper F*cking Awesome SocksOur Super Fucking Awesome Women's Ankle Socks are, well, super fucking awesome. As they do say so themselves! Know what else is super fucking awesome? You! You were on time to work, your hair looks fab, your...

Booger Lollipop

$2.99

You Can Pick Your Candy And Eat It Too We had to dig deep in the recesses of our brain for this one... but we just nose we picked the perfect gift for your sugar booger this Valentine's Day! Our sour-apple flavored Booger Lollipop is a deliciously fun...

CBD Gummy Worms

$24.99

CBD is legal in all 50 states, y'all! Why settle for vaping or salves when our CBD Gummy Worms are just like the ones you remember from your childhood! These squirmy little wormies taste, look, smell, and feel the same. The only difference is that they...

Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen Into A Shithole Dish Towel

$10.99

Put your shit in the sink! Dripping with sarcasm and spilled drinks our Congratulations, You Turned My Kitchen into a Shithole Dish Towel is not messing around! There's nothing like a delightfully crass kitchen towel to greet your guests, as it proudly...

Dancing with Jesus Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book

$10.99

Lord Almighty! Jesus sure has some righteous moves! Our Dancing with Jesus: Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book is truly a God send! Are your dance moves unrighteous?  Do you refrain from getting down, lest others judge you cruelly?  Fear not...

Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

$1.99

Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now. Seriously, do not mess with me today. I'm not putting a dollar in the swear jar either. This is the...

Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel

$10.99

Our deliciously distasteful Get The Hell Out of My Kitchen Dish Towel is just what the cook ordered! We don't need your half-baked ideas. Your pinch of advice, or dash of criticism. Mind your own plate and get out of our site before you become the main...

Illuminati Air Freshener

$4.99

Come on. Really? Don't blame a conspiracy... it's your fault your car is so stinky! The Illuminati is the secret organization that is rumored to control the world. So it only makes sense that you'd let them control the odor in your car. Don't you want...

Spicy Chili Pepper Lollipop

$4.99

Are you a sucker for spicy food?  Lovers of spicy food will just eat up our handmade Spicy Chili Pepper Lollipops! Each one of these chili-pepper-shaped hard candy pops is infused with real chili pepper bits, and pack a heat that can't be beat!...

Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box

$4.99

Candy bento box! It's soy cute! Our Sushi Gummy Candy in Bento Box comes with 9 pieces of candy modeled after sushi rolls and garnishings, arranged in a plastic bento box style tray! 2 Candy Nigiri (marshmallow topped with a gummy fish) 2...

Always Be A Unicorn Socks

$10.99

Introducing our Always Be A Unicorn Socks! Also know as Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Then Always Be A Unicorn Socks! We're not going to say that it wasn't a struggle to fit all those words on a sock, but we're also not going to say...

Believe in Unicorns Bracelet + Raw Amethyst Cluster

$9.99 $7.99

A unique bracelet fit for a unicorn Our charming Believe in Unicorns Bracelet + Raw Amethyst Cluster is a bright and colorful way to add some magic to your day! Believe In Unicorns Bracelet Features 3 charms - The words Believe, and Unicorn, and a...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

F*ck Me Like The Government Gum

$1.99

Most Prefer A Pretty Lie And This Gum Is An Uncomfortable Truth Unlike a scalding hot cup of covfefe our Fuck Me Like The Government Gum will leave a good taste in your mouth. A deliciously fun political gift for anyone who distrusts the government...

Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel

$12.99

Watch out for your ankles! Our Made From Scratch Cat Dish Towel is coming right for ya, and will keep you on your toes in the kitchen! Would you just look at this kitty cat. So stinking pleased with herself because she's ripped the hell out your...

Water Logged Tree Stump Coasters

$7.99

What wood you do if someone ruined your favorite piece of furniture in the thick of your party?  Wood you be fluming mad and tell them cedar later or would you just leaf it alone? No need to branch out and find new friends just yet because our...

World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong

$8.99

S-T-R-E-T-C-H  Our World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong stretches into hundreds of different positions, and he returns to his normal size! Well sorta normal size, since he is officially the World's Smallest Stretch Armstrong! Your...

Enchanted Unicorn Bandages

$5.49

May the power of the unicorn heal you! With the magical healing power of these Enchanted Unicorn Bandages, even your ouchiest owies will heal up in no time! Each 3.75" tall metal tin contains fifteen 3" x 1" adhesive bandages with sterile gauze and a...

Evidence Tote

$6.99

WARNING: Do not tamper with the contents of our zippered Evidence Tote! This is not a toy in any circumstance unless you're playing beat up the person stealing the evidence. There's even a seal that says OFFICIAL PROPERTY DO NOT OPEN. So were pretty...

Flash Rocks

$4.99

What would Flash Gordon think? Is that triboluminescence in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us? Forseriously though...  Just rub our Flash Rocks together to see a totally natural piezoelectric rock show!  They'll glow internally and...

Hangry Ankle Socks

$10.99

Hide your chocolate! Hide your cheese! No snack is safe when our Hangry Ankle Socks are in town! Our ravenous fork + knife wielding big bad wolf is back! Orange you glad this growling guy made his way onto an ankle sock? And also, that those knives look...

I Almost Died But It Was Just A Cold Men's Socks

$12.99

Thank you for your concern! It was touch and go for awhile... I Almost Died But It Was Just A Cold.   We're not saying men can't handle being sick... but these socks sure are! Call a waaa-mbulance my honey's nose is running! Is this...

I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum

$1.99

Uh, oh! They've found us out! Our I'm Not Sarcastic, I'm Just Mean Gum is dropping truth bombs by way of delicious chicklet-sized mint gum! A fun item to have for those moments when you don't have time for humility. If they didn't get the message at...

My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum

$1.99

Whatever, Karen. Our snarky My Sweatpants Think You're Pathetic Gum is the perfectly absurd rebuttal for when you're too deep into your own (Netflix) marathon training and simply too chill to care.  If you're like us, you're exhausted from sight of...

Flash + Fly Helicopter

$2.99

A great toys for kids and husbands! Because there is nothing more entertaining than shooting flashing things into the air and watching them come back down. Seriously. What could be better? Turn on our Fly and Flash Helicopter and sling shot it into the...

Mini Genuine Harmonica Necklace

$12.99

Take a harmonica wherever you go! Whether you have the blues or are filled with jubilee, our unique Mini Genuine Harmonica Necklace (that actually plays!) will be able to lift your spirits and banish your woes! What better present to yourself than a...

My Favorite Salad Is Wine Oven Mitt

$12.99

Our My Favorite Salad Is Wine Oven Mitt is grape for cooking drinking up a storm! Dinner, shminner. Lettuce just skip right to the good stuff! We're convinced... future generations will have figured out a way to grow bottles of wine - glass, cork...

This Meeting Is Bullsh*t Woman's Socks

$10.99

Should Have Called In Sick For Work SocksOur classy yet sassy This Meeting Is Bullshit Socks are perfect for flashing a little ankle at the next pointless meeting. Because we can damn well guaranteed you'd rather be lounging on the couch with a bowl of...

You're Doing F*cking Great! Woven Dish Towel

$12.99

Inspire confidence and encourage laughter with our You're Doing Fucking Great! Woven Dish Towel! Don't settle for a basic dish rag. Dish towels are like the socks of the kitchen! So, go on and add some kick ass personality to your favorite room in the...

F*ck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Greatest Day Ever Socks! Our hyper cute and enthusiastically vulgar Fuck Yeah Kind Of Day Socks are offering you perpetual permission to declare any day an anything goes kinda day! How about pizza for lunch?  Would you like another glass of wine?...

I Hate You Just Kidding Gum

$1.99

Do you think I'm kidding? Yeah, yeah... wasting time hating someone is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die... or something insightful like that.   This could be fun gum to give your friend if you guys share an inside...

Red Red Wine Candle

$11.99

Why? Wine not? Our red, red, Wine Candle is totally lit! A fun and unqiue gift for wine lovers. Now you can have Red Wine (scent) with every meal! Perfect for when you need to stay level headed, and the only thing you'll be pouring over that night is...

Uncanny Olive Erasers

$9.99

O'love these! Looking to stir things up? Crack open a can of our Uncanny Olive Erasers and let your inspiration flow! When you're quite literally pouring out olive your hopes and dreams onto paper, don't fret if you make a mistake. It's not life handing...

Doggy Bag Handy Lunch Tote

$9.99

After an evening of whining and dining, you can playfully bust out our totally fetching Doggy Bag Handy Tote to carry your leftovers home in! It's a DOGGY BAG. Get it??  Bone Appetit! (our apawlogies) This colorful and cheeky pooch tote can be used...

Green Glux Luminous Glowing Super Putty

$6.99

Super Sized Extraterrestrial Sneeze With our Green Glux Luminous Glowing Super Putty, our future's so bright, we gotta wear shades!  Seriously, this stuff glows like nothing we have ever seen. It just sucks up the sunlight and brilliantly radiates...

Here's Your Gift Motherf*cker Gum

$1.99

The Perfect Present For Someone That's In The Family But Not In The Circle Our Here's Your Gift Motherfucker Gum turns the art of obligatory gift giving into something truly amazing.  A perfect cheap and useful gift for someone you love or love to...

Huggy Tiny Tree Frog Ear Cuff

$4.99

Your good luck charm! They say that when a lucky frog comes into your life that it's a sign of transformation and it may well spark many wonderful changes! Well that's just a little bit more than a tad exciting!  Our single Tiny Hugging Tree Frog...

I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum

$1.99

Candy Coated Gum For Guys With Built In GPS Our refreshingly crass I Don't Need Directions, I Have A Penis Gum isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Stop the car! I'm getting out... a piece of gum to cut this tension with some much needed laughter. Fragile...

Kawaii Friendly Weather Air Freshener

$3.99

Rain or shine! Our Kawaii Friendly Weather Air Freshener is perfect for any day! Kawaii represents a culture of kindness and what would be kinder than opposing views like the weather all getting along? Helps make your commute cutier Freshen up your...

Step Aside Coffee Gum

$1.99

Coffee... We love you.  You're so cute sometimes!  Now step aside, it's time to bring in the big guns! We have a lot of experience... We've been at this for a long time. And we know what we need to succeed. Booze, and lots of it.  But only...

Dogs: Here To Remind You Everything Is Very Exciting Pouch

$10.99

Howl you doin? Everything is very exciting for dogs and they're here to remind you about our awesome Dogs Jumbo Pouch! This is the BEST bag! It's amazing! You can't live without it! Just TRY and live without it! Is that a squirrel? Made from recycled...

John Lennon's Imagine Crank Music Box

$8.99

Crank up that song! You may say I'm a dreamer, but we know that our delightfully peaceful Imagine Crank Music Box is a gift that will truly resonate with the receiver... and the surface that it's placed on! This music box is tiny in size, but the sound...

Mocha Almond Lip Shit Lip Balm

$6.99

Cruelty Free Lip Balm Our Mocha Almond Lip Shit really gets you going! This fantastic lip balm moisturizes and protects your lips every time you put it on. It is made from a beeswax formula and is extremely smooth and easy-to-apply! All natural Fun...

Polite as F*ck Gym Socks

$11.99

Are you a polite person?  Our daringly discourteous Polite as F*ck Gym Socks are as colorful as the ill-mannered language they put on display! You're such a model citizen, but you need these socks to really let everyone know! Polite as fuck, you...

Stealthy Ninja Bandages

$5.99

Say Hi-Yah! then Bye-Yah! to bothersome boo-boos with our awesome Stealthy Ninja Bandages!  Each bandage looks like a cute little ninja assassin leaping into action.   Cuts and scrapes will be cleverly obscured from view due to the intense...

Deal With It Cat Meme Floaty Pen

$4.99

Cat meme! Our Deal With It Write Side Up Floaty Pen will allow you to get a firm grasp on reality while enjoying a timeless internet meme! Some things never change, like the thrill and amazement of being mesmerized by the hypnotic motion of a floaty pen...

You Octopi My Thoughts Necklace

$9.99

Get kraken! Are you a sucker for anything octopus related?  Is there a special someone in your life who has their tentacles wrapped around your every thought?  Good news... our totally adorabilis You Octopi My Thoughts Necklace has...

At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

$1.99

Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in a committed long-term relationship with our surrogate beds. Listen, when a couch hands you a compliment,...

Cone Kitty Air Freshener

$4.99

It's for your own good, Whisker, I promise. This pathetically miserable kitty in a cone will make your commute more bearable. This poor suffering kitteh will fill your automobile with Pot-PURR-i scent and laughs.   Hang it from your rearview mirror...

Magical Mandala Glowing Locket Necklace

$16.99

Our beautiful Magical Mandala Glowing Locket Necklace absorbs light to allow a peaceful glow in darkened conditions. The light sources’ intensity and method will bring out different luminous effects. Now you can let your inner glow out! Shine and...

Marshmallow S'More Lip Gloss

$4.99

You'll love it a lil bit s'more every day. An ideal gift for the happy camper, our Marshmallow S'More Lip Gloss is a fun mashup of nostalgia and kawaii for your lips! Camping. Maybe you do it for the crackling warmth of a radiant campfire. Good times...

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