FREE Shipping on $75*

Grumpy Old Man Gum

Regular price
$2.29
Sale price
$2.29
Regular price
$0
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Unit price
Quantity must be 1 or more

Description

For crotchety gentleman, young and old

Cool down that hot-tempered, complaint-filled mouth with our minty Grumpy Old Man Gum! The fun checker board design reminds us that the distance been checkered Vans to Viagra is shorter than you think fellas. In the blink of a commercial break disco nap... you morph from the noisy neighbor, to the nosey neighbor. Turn that music down! Get off my yard!

You don't need to be of boomer status to be considered a grumpy old man anymore. TBH, some of the grumpiest old men we've met are in their 20's. You know it's true. Back of gum box spews some grumpy statements:

  1. When I was a kid, I got gum once a year. For my birthday. If I was lucky.
  2. This gum is too minty.
  3. 8 pieces? Back in the day, gum came with 9 pieces.
  4. Mint? An old man can't enjoy some nice bubble gum anymore?
  5. No one appreciates a good piece of gum anymore.
  6. People younger than me are stupid.
  7. This gum was overpriced.
  8. 8 pieces? Gee, hope I don't spoil my dinner.
  9. Somebody find this gum in the trash or what?
  10. They don't even want you to chew gum anymore. Say it stresses your jaw or something. Please.
  11. No one listens to me.

A fun + tasty prank gift to call out the giant ray of sunshine in your life. Birthday, anniversary, valentine's day, or just a humorously passive aggressive hint.

Made in Canada. 8 pieces of candy-coated, mint-flavored gum in each box. Mint: Sugar, Dextrose, Gum Base, Corn Syrup, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Tapioca Dextrin, Glycerine, Gum Arabic, Aspartame, Acesulfame Potassium, Titanium Dioxide, Confectioners Glaze, Carnauba Wax, Corn Starch, BHT (to maintain freshness). Each dainty pack of gum measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall. We can't promise that our Grumpy Old Man Gum will not stick to your dentures.

60 Day Return Policy

We want you to love your purchase!:
Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us. If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return most items sold by Perpetual Kid for a refund or store credit. Returns must be received by Perpetual Kid within 60 days of your order date to receive a refund.

Incorrect, Missing or Defective Items:
Contact us at customer-service@perpetualkid.com within 14 days of receiving your order to report a problem and to receive instructions.

Exchanges:
If you have changed your mind about an item, please follow our return instructions below. We do not process exchanges.

Missing Packages:
Perpetual Kid is not responsible for stolen packages. Please do your best to select a shipping address that will have someone home to accept the delivery, or have your order shipped to your office. Packages are generally not shipped requiring a signature for delivery, unless requested by the customer. The customer assumes all liability for stolen packages verified delivered by the carrier with tracking information.

General Return Guidelines & Preparing Your Items(s) for Return Shipping:
All returns must be in original, new, re-sellable condition and include all of the original contents (manufacturer’s packaging, instruction manuals, warranty card, accessories, etc.) and be received at Perpetual Kid in the same condition in which you received them. We reserve the right to refuse returns on items that are not in “new condition” or apply a damage/re-stocking fee of up to 100%.

Please pack the items securely in a shipping box, such as the one we used to ship your order to you, so that your returns and their product packaging will not be damaged during the return shipment. We recommend shipping your return with an insured carrier and with a tracking number. Perpetual Kid is not responsible for items lost or damaged during return shipping. We do not offer prepaid return shipping labels.

Original shipping charges are non-refundable. Free shipping promotions and other coupon offers/discounts will be deducted from your refund. Return of over 8 products/pieces from an order may be charged a restocking fee of 10% of purchase price.

Any order received back as undeliverable will be processed as a return, minus all actual outbound and return shipping charges. We are unable to reship orders that are returned as undeliverable, a new order with the correct address will need to be placed.

To make a return, please completely fill out the quantity being returned on the front of your packing receipt. Enclose the packing receipt with the item(s) being returned, and ship prepaid and fully insured to:

Returns Department Order # (Insert your order number here)
Perpetual Kid
42395 Ryan Road
Suite 112-102
Ashburn, VA 20148

Once we have processed your return, we’ll issue your refund, less any applicable charges, to your credit card. Please allow 10 business days (Monday-Friday) from the time your return is received at our warehouse for your refund to post. You will receive an return refund confirmation as soon as your refund has processed.

Free Shipping Details

Holiday shipping update:

Due to the increase in shopping this holiday week, Free & Standard shipping methods will ship in 2-3 business days from the time your order is received. You will see the expected delivery date during checkout when you select your shipping method. We'll keep you updated on your order status via email

*FREE SHIPPING ON $75+

Free Shipping on qualified orders over $75 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. You will see the free shipping promotion during checkout when you are asked to select your shipping method. Your shipping address must be deliverable by the USPS. Orders outside of the contiguous United States do not qualify for this offer. Transit time is generally our Standard Shipping + 1 business day.

STANDARD SHIPPING $6.99 WITHIN THE CONTIGUOUS UNITED STATES (ORDERS UNDER $75)

Our choice of carrier. Estimated transit time is stated during checkout. Delivery date is not guaranteed and is stated during checkout. Your address must be deliverable by the USPS.

GUARANTEED DELIVERY DATES ON EXPRESS ORDERS

We guarantee transit times for Express shipping methods within the United States, except in cases where delays are due to weather, incorrect, or incomplete shipping addresses. If your order is not received by the stated delivery date, we will issue a refund on your shipping charge.

ALASKA + HAWAII FLAT RATE ALL YOU CAN SHIP FOR ONE FLAT RATE $23.99

Delivery options for P.O. Box deliveries and UPS deliveries available. We are unable to ship in USPS flat rate boxes due to the large dimensional size of our average order. Free shipping promotions are not applicable. Estimated transit time is 4 business days. Monday-Friday delivery.

APO + FPO $6.99

Transit time is unknown and not guaranteed due to internal transit/processing times within the US Military Postal Service.

INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING

We currently ship to Canada, United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Belgium, France, Germany, Ireland, Norway, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Japan and Puerto Rico. Transit time varies.

Shipping rates can be seen displayed during checkout or on your cart page. International shipping rates do not include any customs or duty fees that your country may try to collect. These are not included because we are unable to correctly calculate them based off of uncontrollable factors. Delivery dates for all international shipments are only an estimate (based on our past experience), not guaranteed, since we are unable to know how long a country's customs is/will take to process a shipment.

ALL SHIPMENTS -IMPORTANT SHIPPING NOTICE

Please carefully check your shipping address for typos and missing apartment or suite numbers. Incorrect or incomplete addresses will cause a problem with delivery and may result in your order being sent back to us as undeliverable. Changes to the shipping address cannot be made by Perpetual Kid at all once your order is with the USPS, and not without a $12 change of address fee with UPS and FedEx. You can register for personal tracking accounts through the shipping companies that will allow to change delivery options.

UNDELIVERABLE ORDERS

Any orders received back to our warehouse as undeliverable, for any reason such as incorrect addresses, or not responding to notices left by carriers, will sadly be processed as a return, minus the actual outbound and return shipping charges, if and when they are received back to our warehouse. Please see our Return Policy for details.

MISSING OR STOLEN PACKAGES

Perpetual Kid is not responsible for stolen packages. Please do your best to select a shipping address that will have someone home to accept the delivery, or have your order shipped to your office. Packages are generally not shipped requiring a signature for delivery, unless requested by the customer. We are unable to offer signature required options on our free shipping methods due to the additional cost required by the shipping companies. The customer assumes all liability for stolen packages verified delivered by the carrier with tracking information.

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