Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

Lap Cat Napkins

$8.99

Lap cats! No fancy feast is complete without our playful paper Lap Cat Napkins! These folded feline fur'ends are the purr'furred way to keep your whiskers clean! We mean, fur real? Mew must be kitten with those a-paw-ling table manners! It's time...

World's Smallest Magic 8 Ball Tie Dye Limited Edition

$7.99

Should I wear orange today? Discover your future on the fly with World's Smallest Tie Dye Magic 8 Ball. It fits right in your pocket but works just like the original you know and love with answers that are just a little bit vague, but scaled down to...

Affectionate Octopus Ring

$4.99

Let's get kraken! We're not squidding, our Affectionate Octopus Ring was love at first squeeze. We promise, it totally does not suck!   Now tentacley, there are only 3 arms wrapped around your finger, but we know a sea monster when we sea one!...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lamp

$79.99

Just 150,000 Calories! There are just few things in life that are as enjoyable as an ice cream cone!  What better way can you think of to brighten up the mood in your home or office than with a Giant Ice Cream Cone lamp!  Marvel your guests as...

Goat Yoga Stacking Game

$19.99

Nama-stack! Nama-stay! Our Goat Yoga Stacking Game is a fun-yet- challenging stacking game — but relax, it’s not a stretch to win! Your goal is to stack and balance the baby goats on the zenned out yogi in her perfect lotus pose while...

I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole, I Thought You Knew Gum

$1.99

Everyone Should Carry A Lot Of This Gum Sometimes you have to remind people that you can be an asshole too.  That's why it's best to carry our I'm Sorry I Called You An Asshole I Thought You Knew Gum on you at all times!  You never know when a...

Leaf Pocket Cup

$5.99

Leaf me alone while I have a sip! Our cleverly shaped Leaf Pocket Cup, will quickly become your new favorite piece of equipment for travel and camping!  You'll be afraid to leaf it behind! Speaking of afraid, you can practice catching rain water...

P Is for Pterodactyl - The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

$17.99

Seriously... this is terrible! Turning the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, P is for Pterodactyl is perfect for anyone who has ever been stumped by silent letters or confused by absurd homophones. This whimsical, unique book takes...

Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug

$11.99

Sweet toothed Def Leopard fan? Our totally def Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug is going to help you rock your mornings! Yeah! Sugar me! Do you take sugar? one lump or two? Whichever way you take it, holding a generous 16 ounces, this mug will keep you...

ABCs of Engineering

$9.99

The basics for your little engineer! The ABCs of Engineering Book is an alphabetical installment of the Baby University series and is the perfect introduction for even the youngest engineer! A is for Amplifier B is for Battery C is for Carnot...

Lil' Lager Baby Bottle

$12.99

Do you have a milk chugger? Double-takes are guaranteed when your kid starts knocking back their favorite beverage with our hilarious Chill, Baby Lil' Lager Baby Bottle.    No it's not beer, it's just good old smooth and creamy baby formula...

President Donald Trump Toy Doll

$9.99

The greatest collectible toy for both FANS and foes. Because being President of the United States takes character and there's never been a character like this before. He's always got something to say.  Maybe send one of these to Pelosi or Schiff.....

Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings

$9.99

You're a shining star! When you're rocking our Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings, you're guaranteed to steal the show! The spotlight will always be on you(r ears!) While testing these products out we were totally impressed by how...

Worlds Smallest Care Bear

$6.99

Classic fun with a retro gift! Our bright Worlds Smallest Care Bears are your favorite group of colorful and caring bears that just got a lot smaller! Spread some love or beat the bluest of blues with Cheer Bear, Funshine Bear, Share Bear and Grumpy...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Trump's Fake News Stamper

$12.99

Red stamp of disapproval We may be a bit media bias here, but we think our Fake News Stamper is the best stamper of all time.  A tremendous gift.  It will go over bigly with Conservatives and Liberals! It's not weak like other stampers,...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

Rubber Chicken Bandages

$5.49

From tears of pain to tears of laughter. If laughter is the best medicine, then our Rubber Chicken Bandages are a cure for what ails you!* Next time you impale yourself with an unwieldy object, don't run around like a chicken with your head cut off!...

Hatch and Grow Sloth

$4.99

Just add water – and hang around!  Our Hatch and Grow Sloth doesn't need any food or special care. Just add water and watch him grow and break out of his tree stump.  So, how does it work? Sit back, and relax. This little fella...

Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Nail Clipper Pen

$5.99

Best office gift ever! Our Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Pen is guaranteed to gross out people around you! Not only can you write with the fully functional pen but you can turn it around and clip or file those unsightly finger or toe nails. What is...

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

$8.99

Top Unicorn Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts  |  Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart.  |  We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect gift for the lovers, the dreamers and you!  It's not an illusion... we've...

Stackasaurus Stacking Game

$14.99

A dinosaur game heads above the rest Looking for a dino themed game? Our Stack-A-Saurus Stacking Game really sticks his neck out to ensure big time fun. Dinosaur lovers will just eat it up! To win, carefully balance the slanted neck pieces then prop his...

The More You Nope Floaty Pen

$4.99

Nope, don't tell me! Our rainbow shooting star The More You Nope Floaty Pen allows you to relive the after-school specials of your childhood with the well-timed drop of a nugget of wisdom. Some things never change, like the thrill and amazement of being...

Bitch I Am The Secret Ingredient Oven Mitt

$12.99

It sure as hell ain't saffron or paprika, honey. Our Bitch I Am The Secret Ingredient Oven Mitt is anything but sugar and spice and everything nice. If you're looking for the secret ingredient to gift giving, it's about having a damn sense of humor,...

Good Book Flask

$19.99

The greatest book ever has a hidden compartment! Stash your favorite nip in the Good Book and stash it on your bookshelf!  Heavenly 4 oz stainless steel hip flask. Makes a great gift for grandpa! Grandma needs to mind her own business. It fits...

Bacon Bandages

$5.49

Making Bacon Boo Boos! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of our Bacon Bandages. And if a cool bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Includes a small toy to help make even the...

Dark Side Of The Moon Rainbow Prism

$5.99

Cool gift for a nerd! Is that a rainbow in your pocket or are you just part magical unicorn? Behold, our mysterious Dark Side Of The Moon Rainbow Prism.  It will lead you down the rabbit hole of fascination by using the science of optics to create...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

19 Carat Faux Real Diamond Pen

$5.99

Sign in style! An engaging and eye-catching gift our whopping 19 Carat Faux Real Diamond Pen will make you say YES! to finally getting around to writing out thank you notes, or getting caught up on paying off those bills from your latest shopping...

Retro Radio Headphone + Change Purse

$12.99

Mid Century Modern Style Do you miss the great lines of products from the past?  Us too!  It may look like a vintage radio right out of the 60's... but that's just an illusion!  Stuff your headphones, subway tokens, earplugs, or asprin...

Howligans Pet Shaming Kit

$11.99

Share the love. Share the shame. Our Howligans Pet Shaming Kit came to be, in order to keep the universe in alignment. After all, we love our pets! They’re cute, charismatic, and provide us with unconditional love! But, they also ruin our...

Cat Butt Coin Purse

$4.99

Our high quality Cat Butt Coin Purse is the kitty for your cash!   This adorable zippered coin purse features a silly snickering kitty on the front and a useful field guide on the backside!   Just in case you have a chance meeting with a feline...

Avo-cato Avocado Cat Bandages

$5.99

Getting hurt is the pits! You're in luck! Our Avo-cato Avocado Cat Bandages will have you smiling in no time! Box contains 18 Avocado Cat shaped bandages Individual bandage measures 1.75 inches x 2 inches FDA Approved An awesome gift for lovers of...

Cone Of Shame Bandages

$5.99

Doggone-it!  Did you see that wall jump out at me? Are you having one of those terrier'ible days when mutt'n seems to be going your way? Our pitifully cute Cone of Shame Doggy Bandages are an excellent remedy for when you're having a ruff day! ...

I Don't Like Anyone In The Morning Dish Towel

$10.99

Our proud and cocky I Don't Like Anyone In The Morning Dish Towel is totally relatable. Especially if you act like a giant cock in the morning. You're not the only one! Just look at the size of this rooster! This early-to-rise loud mouth is waking the...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs to use Cat Astronaut Mints before and during all of...

I'm a Girl, What's Your Superpower? Dish Towel

$10.99

Our amazing I'm a Girl, What's Your Superpower? Dish Towel is leaps and bounds above the rest!  You're a force to be reckoned with, so why settle for some basic dish rag? Put your super powers on display for all the world to see, as this awesome...

Official World's Smallest Rubik's Cube

$7.99

The Rubik's Cube is baaaaack! The most colorful + puzzling icon of the 80's has returned and is now available in pocket size! It's true... The World's Smallest Rubik's Cube is perfectly sized so you can carry it with you where ever you go! Giving you...

The Daily Mood Flipchart

$8.99

Some days the office is like a tea party, other days it's a lion's den. That's why The Daily Mood is a crucial desktop accessory! This fun flip-chart spells out everyone's demeanor in no uncertain terms. There are 47 moods to choose from, each with its...

Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade

$15.99

We're totally nutty about our Car Full Of Squirrels Auto Sunshade! This collapsible indoor windshield cover will not only protect and cool your car while blocking UV rays, it will also make it appear like it’s full of a squad of sassy squirrels...

Holy Toast Bread Stamp

$4.99

Holy Mother Of God... what is on my toast! In the beginning...there was bread. Ho hum. Make that boring bread an inspiration by embossing it before you toast! Our easy-to-use HOLY TOAST stamper always makes a good impression. Press the stamper into an...

Pick a Pup Doggy Memo Tabs

$4.99

Good dog! Our Pick a Pup Doggy Memo Tabs are the cutest way to mark your territory! (Without there being pee involved. That just wrecks pages, dontcha know!) These bandanna-clad pups are sporting their best puppy attire in hopes you'll take them all home...

Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle

$11.99

Babies can learn to count while doing reps! Our Buff Baby Dumbbell Rattle turns junior into a bench-pressin' body-builder!  Never be embarrassed by "baby fat" again!  Seriously folks... don't read into that statement (or send us hate mail) - it...

Taco Truck Taco Holders

$13.99

Ice cream truck, shmice cream truck... we'll take a truck filled with delicious crunchy tacos any day!  Meals are always more delicious when the come from a trendy food truck! This incredible duo of Taco Truck Taco Holders, perfectly cradle your...

100% Legal Pot (Holder)

$9.99

Get Baked + Cook At The Same Time! So, what you've got here is a pot holder that LOOKS like a pot leaf! Pot ... pot. Hilarious!  Long after the novelty of this aptly-named product wears off, you'll be enjoying its quality construction and...

Donut Touch My Lunch Bag

$18.99

As sweet as it gets! There's no need to sugar coat it, our Frosted Donut Lunch Tote is as sweet as it gets! The "holey" grail of lunch pails, this pink glazed beauty with colorful sprinkles will leave the cool kids begging for you to sit at their table...

I'm a Delicate F*cking Flower Socks

$10.99

Consider This A Warning Socks Gently nestled among a garden of blooms, the well-rooted message of our profanely dainty I'm A Delicate Fucking Flower Women's Crew Socks will allow you to manure through and flourish in any prickly situation. The cool thing...

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

$3.49

With our Bob Ross Happy Little Mints, The Joy of Painting and fresh breath are now within reach! Talk to the tree, make friends with it. People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different. Enjoy the...

Roach Clips Bag Clips

$8.99

Our Fred Roach Clips Bag Clips are brand shrieking new for Fall 2018! Eerily realistic these all-purpose spring-loaded bag clips are cleverly designed to look like cockroaches, and will make you jump! They're a fun + unique housewarming (or dorm...

World's Smallest Silly Putty Set

$4.99

Looking to stretch your imagination? Our World's Smallest Silly Putty encourages big time fun in a pint sized package!  Contained within a tiny version of the iconic Silly Putty egg, just like the original! There are two per package and each egg is...

Get Along With Your Co-Workers Gum

$1.99

Your Job Doesn't Suck, Just Your Co-Workers The reality in the majority of people's lives is that they have to get a job to survive. Unfortunately you get stuck working alongside people you might not otherwise frequent in the free world! To make your...

Spaghettios Can Secret Decoy Safe

$12.49

Crash! BOOM! Bang!  Uh oh, SpaghettiOs! Whether it's your roommate rummaging through your room to "borrow" your favorite pair of earrings or a straight up thief in the night unlawfully trying to heist your priceless 8-track collection, keep your...

T.V. Rock

$5.99

Tune in to the Ulexite! Plop our awesome TV Rock on any printed surface and it demonstrates a cool fiber-optic effect - it projects images to the surface of this naturally occurring mineral.   This unusual effect is the result of your rock's...

Lucha Libre Mexican Thumb Wrestling Set

$12.99

This is nacho Lucha Libre Mexican Thumb Wrestling Set, yet! Thumb wrestling meets lucha libre with our unique Lucha Libre Mexican Thumb Wrestling Set that brings the competitive Mexican sport to enthusiasts all over the world! Known for its bold...

World's Smallest Magic 8 Ball

$6.99

Yes, definitely. Without a doubt. The original Magic 8 Ball just got smaller. And the World's Smallest Magic 8 Ball possess all the answers you'll ever need, and it fits in your pocket! Make your everyday decisions easier with a shake and a squint! All...

Cat Butt Gum

$1.99

Cute As A Butt-on Gum If you've got a lot of attitude to pass around, this gum is just right for you! Includes 8 peppermint pieces of "Kiss My Ass" attitude per box. Get a second box because you've got a lot of attitude to share. Meow! What are you...

Potato Clips Bag Clips

$8.99

They're all that and a bag of chips!* The ultimate gift for chip-sters, our Potato Clips Bag Clips will keep your snacks fun and fresh with the authentic appearance of an actual potato chip! A visual pun for the humor impaired. We're about to Lays it on...

Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a yummy retro treat! Since the early NASA Mercury Missions, space food has gone global! Today, Astronaut...

Emergency Chicken Sound Machine

$9.99

Every fowl morning is a chicken emergency Our fowl Emergency Chicken Sound Machine fills in when a real (or rubber) chicken would be too much. The sound machine includes four sounds — peep, cluck, morning crow and squawk. Just the other day we were...

Magical Color Changing Unicorn Night Light

$15.99

Sweet Dreams Whoever said you're too old for a nightlight, clearly has not met our Magical Color Changing Unicorn Night Light, and must enjoy stepping on unsuspecting legos. Imagine how much sweeter your bedtime will be with a dreamy unicorn nightlight...

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