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4th Of July Weekend Sale!

Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

100% Legal Pot (Holder)

$9.99

Get Baked + Cook At The Same Time! So, what you've got here is a pot holder that LOOKS like a pot leaf! Pot ... pot. Hilarious!  Long after the novelty of this aptly-named product wears off, you'll be enjoying its quality construction and...

May These Crystals Heal The Sh*t Out Of You Greeting Card

$4.99

Holy shit, I can feel it! Send our May These Crystals Heal The Shit Out Of You Greeting Card to any friend who isn't feeling well or needs some positive energy! It's a great card to lift spirits! Harness the power of the crystals that are pictured on...

Spam Retro Face Mask

$12.99

I'm on the can again... Put yourself out there in our Spam Retro Face Mask Face Mask - it's is a real attention grabber!   Made in the USA!  Swank gift for the tiki King (or Queen of the can) Handmade in the USA from 3 layers of...

Deer A**hole Greeting Card

$4.99

Deer A**hole, return my calls Our funny, but frank, Deer A**hole Greeting Card is definitely a card for those friends and family who love to laugh. A great card for when someone does something (they know what they did) and it needs to be called out with...

Filing Saucer UFO Paper Clip Holder

$11.99

Desk Space Invaders Don't let your paper clips get lost in the black hole of your desk drawer. Our Flying "Filing" Saucer paperclip holder  magnetically "abducts" the included cow-shaped clips so they're ready to organize all your classified...

Ginormous Unicorn Yard Sprinkler

$59.99

  As seen on Rachel Ray with Katie Linendoll! Our delightful and Ginormous Unicorn Yard Sprinkler by Big Mouth Toys will guarantee big time fun all summer long! This dreamy unicorn-shaped sprinkler is quite the tall drink of water at an...

Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask

$12.99

Wine, beer, liquor, booze... Shirley Temple? No matter your drink of choice, we've got you covered - your face that is - with our handmade Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask! Handsomely decorated with a swanky array of retro decanters and etched...

President Of Local Gas Company Men's Socks

$12.99

It's hard to believe it all started in the mailroom. Some guys just have that special "something" that makes them a good fit for our President of the Local Gas Company Men's Crew Socks. Maybe it's the meal planning? Maybe it's the finger pulling? Some...

Rockstar Guitar Case Lunch Box

$19.99

Carry sandwiches like a rock-n-roll star. Cool kids bring their own lunch. The coolest kids conceal their lunch in a guitar case. Prove your rock-star credentials, decorate with your favorite band stickers. Or prove you're eating 5-a-day and decorate...

Soft Touch Camo Face Mask

$9.99

Comfort in camo! Our Soft Touch Camo Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch cotton/spandex mix which...

You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy squeezing out day! Remind everyone where they really came from and send them some birthday love with our You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card. It's a miracle... but kind of a gross miracle. Today is the day you were squeezed out of...

American Flag Face Mask

$9.99

Wear Old Glory everyday with pride! Our American Flag Face Mask is a fun and functional way to celebrate patriotism this summer! Wear it with pride, wear it for the 4th and wear it as your go-to mask. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch...

Backyard Hopscotch Water Sprinkler

$24.99

Just a hop, skip and a jump to play! Your kids will never be bored this summer (not totally guaranteed) with our Backyard Hopscotch Water Sprinkler!  Playing hopscotch on an inflatable sprinkler is just mind-blowing summer fun!  Water comes up...

F*cking Meetings Candle

$19.99

Smells like this could have been an email... Our angst-poured Fucking Meetings Candle is for anyone that has been called to a meeting that was really about nothing... or at least should've just been a group email regarding the subject. The candle has a...

Leopard Print Shoelaces

$7.99

Let's hit the thrift stores! These hot Leopard Print Shoelaces are made from fabric featuring classic leopard print pattern. Great retro feel, perfect for anyone who loves vintage and retro clothing. Why wear plain shoelaces when you express...

Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card

$4.99

Weed, cheese and wine... oh my! Our celebratory Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card is the perfect birthday card for a close puff-pass friend! Let's get stoned! I mean... let's a nice bottle of wine and some fancy cheese! Honestly, I'm...

Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card

$4.99

If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one. Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

No Regrets Bandages

$5.99

I regret nothing... except that chili dog for dinner! You won't have any regrets about getting hurt after you paste on one of these No Regrets Bandages. The people that live life with no regrets could probably use a few dozen boxes of bandages, wouldn't...

Shut The Front Door Greeting Card

$4.99

You thought I was going to say shut the f*ck up! Shout your excitement at someone with a totally sassy and fowl language innuendo. Made in the USA Measures 4.5 X 6 inches Kraft envelope Blank inside Our Shut The Front Door Greeting Card...

The Ridiculously Rude Plants Mug

$17.99

Excuse me, have you snipped your Shaggy Soldier? Our Ridiculously Rude Plants Mug features a fun collection of seemingly innocent plants that all have ridiculously rude names. This is the perfect mug for any gardener who would get a chuckle over a...

Ginormous Ape Yard Sprinkler

$59.99

Gorillas in the mist With our Ginormous Ape Yard Sprinkler you'll be the chimp-ion of the next neighborhood BBQ or get-together! We're not monkeying around! Okay, actually yes, yes we are. Gibbon the chance, you would too. Measures over 7 feet...

Lil' Lager Baby Bottle

$12.99

Do you have a milk chugger? Double-takes are guaranteed when your kid starts knocking back their favorite beverage with our hilarious Chill, Baby Lil' Lager Baby Bottle.    No it's not beer, it's just good old smooth and creamy baby formula...

Lil' Rainbow Glitter Kiddie Pool Float

$14.99

What could be better than our Happy Lil' Rainbow Kiddie Pool Float for your little pot of gold! You're going to have an unforgettable summer with your kiddos! This Happy Rainbow Lil’ Float is dual-chambered for stability, featuring a secure &...

Official World's Smallest Care Bear

$6.99

Classic fun with a retro gift! Our bright World's Smallest Care Bears are your favorite group of colorful and caring bears that just got a lot smaller! Spread some love or beat the bluest of blues with Cheer Bear, Funshine Bear, Share Bear and Grumpy...

Official World's Smallest Rock-A-Stack

$6.99

Just like before... only smaller! Now kids of all ages can take a trip back in time with this miniature, World's Smallest Fisher-Price Rock-A-Stack and enjoy an iconic classic. Just like the original toy, there are five colorful, stackable rings and a...

Preppy In Pink Madras Plaid Face Mask

$12.99

Don't get Lacoste'd by stepping out without a mask on! Dodge social criticism and add some 80’s prep to your step with our Preppy in Pink Madras Plaid Mask! In a time before Crocs, it was all about the Docks. Docksiders (aka deck shoes that is)...

Red Classic Bandana Shoelaces

$7.99

No more boring shoelaces These hot Red Classic Bandana Shoelaces are made from fabric featuring the classic red bandana pattern. Why wear plain shoelaces when you express individuality and create smiles with every step with these fun and quirky...

Infinity Mirror Ball Light

$17.99

Dancing Queen! Want to have a disco party at home? With a flip of a swith our Infinity Mirror Ball LED Light delivers with a rainbow of pinpoint flashing LED lights! From the top of the flashing ball to the bottom, this mirror ball is made for partying...

Official World's Smallest Super Soaker

$6.99

Squirts up to 25 feet! Yes, the World's Smallest Super Soaker actually works! Not even 4 inches long, it holds enough water to shoot off a dozen shots with distances up to 25 feet away! Great for the office, car or even as a sidearm in a water gun fight...

Retro Fun Portable Beach + Pool Speaker

$49.99

Perfect for the beach or poolside! Listen to you music anywhere with our cute retro feeling portable speaker with Bluetooth and even an AM/FM radio! Sand and water resistant Measure 7 inches wide x 8 inches tall x 3 inches deep. Requires 4 AA...

Strawberry CBD Lollipops

$14.99

You're so berry sweet! Our super yummy Strawberry CBD Lollipops are ready to melt your anxiety away. These suckers look, feel and taste just like a lollipop but they won't leave you feeling the same because these are made with the purest form of CBD, an...

The Book Lover's Mug

$14.99

Have you read all these books yet? Why not curl up for a good read with The Book Lover's Mug. The mug has 30 unforgettable classic novels to choose from that will inspire the book lover in everybody. How many have you read? This mug is a fantastic gift...

World's Smallest Barbie Dreamhouse

$7.99

The most popular Barbie accessory of all time! The one and only Barbie 1978 A-Frame Dreamhouse is back in miniature size! Now fans of all ages can customize their very own World’s Smallest Barbie Dreamhouse with re-stickable décor stickers...

No Regrets Vintage Motel Key Ring

$4.49

Our cheeky No Regrets Vintage Motel Key Ring harkens back to the days before electronic locks on motel doors.  Let this nostalgic relic from the “No Regrets Motor Lodge” Room 701 adorn your set of keys as you hit the open road. This...

Rainbow Glitter Party Cake Scented Sunscreen

$19.99

You glow, girl! You’ll be eco-friendly, gorgeous, well protected and sparkling with our Rainbow Glitter Sunscreen!   This super fun bio-degradable glitter sunscreen is nourishing and loaded with antioxidants, provides broad spectrum...

World's Smallest Glo Worm

$6.99

Glo Worm is still glowing after all these years! Lay your head on your pillow and start counting sheep with the World’s Smallest Glo Worm by your side. The iconic favorite cuddle bug of the 80's is back in a big but smallest way. Glo Worm is ready...

Crap Jokes Toilet Paper

$6.99

Do clown farts smell funny? Our pun-intended Crap Jokes Toilet Paper reminds us of a simpler time of reading a magazine while in the bathroom. You gained a wealth of knowledge, whether it was an old TV Guide or People, you learned something. Now, once...

Mini Zoltar - He Speaks!

$12.99

Zoltar "Make Your Wish" Our Mini Zoltar - He Speaks! is inspired by the all-knowing animatronic fortune teller, who made it to the Big screen with Tom Hanks in the late 80's! Authentic retro-styled Zoltar machine Crystal ball gives off a blue...

Official World's Smallest School Bus

$7.99

The wheels on the bus go round and round.... OMG. We can hardly stand it! Talk about a trip down memory lane! The World's Smallest Fisher Price Little People School Bus is just like the one you'll remember from your childhood. It features the iconic...

Inflatable Crocodile Sprinkler

$24.99

You croc my world! Beat the heat this summer with a cute Inflatable Crocodile Outdoor Water Sprinkler. Enjoy cute and cool outdoor adventures for family fun in the sun! Non-toxic Phthalate free, PVC. Includes hose adapter: fits onto most domestic...

CBD Gummy Bears

$24.99

Oh, I'm a CBD Gummy Bear.... a CBD Gummy Bear.  I'm a yummy, edible, social anxiety reducing gummy bear! What a long strange trip it's been getting CBD Gummy Bears to the market, but we're so Grateful they've finally made it! Now that they're...

Official World's Smallest Lite-Brite

$7.99

Honey, I Shrunk the Lite-Brite! Our Hasbro licensed, World's Smallest Lite-Brite is just like the one you had in the 70's and 80's - just a lot smaller! And YES! It actually works! You will love create tiny pictures on the smallest Lite Brite you have...

Kawaii Bear Toy Sprinkler

$24.99

Time to run bearfoot through the sprinkler! Our Inflatable Teddy Bear Sprinkler is so excited to be here, he's literally blushing and gushing rainbows!  He's so fun we can bearly stand it! But, thankfully he helps us tolerate the grizzly...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lamp

$79.99

Just 150,000 Calories! There are just few things in life that are as enjoyable as an ice cream cone!  What better way can you think of to brighten up the mood in your home or office than with a Giant Ice Cream Cone lamp!  Marvel your guests as...

Just Hanging Around Sloth Lip Gloss

$4.99

Enjoy letting the day s'lip away Our Just Hanging Around Sloth Lip Gloss is vanilla flavored, and is just as sweet as can be! With his sunny disposition this smiling little fella is just who you want hanging around, so you can keep your lips moisturized...

Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings

$9.99

You're a shining star! When you're rocking our Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings, you're guaranteed to steal the show! The spotlight will always be on you(r ears!) While testing these products out we were totally impressed by how...

Official World's Smallest Tinkertoy

$7.99

A fun toy to tinker around with! Our World's Smallest Tinkertoy, is a licensed miniature version of the original Tinkertoy that has been fostering active imaginations for nearly a century! A fun retro gift that clearly demonstrates to kids that...

Dancing with Jesus Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book

$10.99

Lord Almighty! Jesus sure has some righteous moves! Our Dancing with Jesus: Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book is truly a God send! Are your dance moves unrighteous?  Do you refrain from getting down, lest others judge you cruelly?  Fear not...

The Golden Girls Magnet Set

$9.99

Dorothy! Put your favorite Golden Girls foursome on your fridge, office or any magnetic surface!  This magnet set will take you back as you recreate moments of the Golden Girls and their irreverent stories in their Miami home. The magnet set...

Happy Camper Pencil Holder

$12.99

Kitschy camper for your crayons!  Simply assemble and you're ready to park our retro-styled Happy Camper Pencil Holder on your desk.  Toss in your pens and pencils, kick back and relax! Then you can start planning your next grand adventure (or...

Toasting You! Congratulations Greeting Card

$3.99

Hang tuff, stay puft! For the friend who's been in the fire lately, but has come out the victor, our Toasting You Card, was conjured up just for them! Sure, some people may seem non-threatening, harmless, possibly-puffy, and cute - but at the end of the...

Huggy Tiny Tree Frog Ear Cuff

$4.99

Your good luck charm! They say that when a lucky frog comes into your life that it's a sign of transformation and it may well spark many wonderful changes! Well that's just a little bit more than a tad exciting!  Our single Tiny Hugging Tree Frog...

Narwhal Bandages

$5.99

Turn those whines into whoahs! Don't worry about that scrape, our Narwhal Bandages will cover it in super cute style right away! Turn those whines into whoahs! Who doesn't love narwhals? That's right, just let the unicorn of the seas magical power take...

Nose Aerobics Basketball

$4.99

Anyone up for a game of faceball? The nose is the most neglected muscle in your body.   That's why our Nose Aerobics Basketball is the next big thing.   It's exercise for your nose!   Dramatically increase your sense of smell* while having...

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

$8.99

Top Unicorn Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts  |  Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart.  |  We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect gift for the lovers, the dreamers and you!  It's not an illusion... we've...

Cat Butt Gum

$1.99

Cute As A Butt-on Gum If you've got a lot of attitude to pass around, this gum is just right for you! Includes 8 peppermint pieces of "Kiss My Ass" attitude per box. Get a second box because you've got a lot of attitude to share. Meow! What are you...

LED Light Up Bobo Balloon

$5.99

As seen on Rachel Ray with Katie Linendoll!  Be the light and the life of the party with Bobo Balloons!  The reflection of the lights against the shiny PVC balloon give the illusion of hundreds of lights! Each Balloon can reach 15 inches...

World's Smallest Hot Wheels Stunt Action Set

$11.99

Defy gravity and mesmerize your friends and foes! Kids have been growing up with Hot Wheels since 1968. Now you can defy gravity with the world famous Hot Wheels loop, but in a miniaturized version. Our speedy World's Smallest Stunt Action Loop features...

I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum

$1.99

Decorated with equally colorful language our I'm A Delicate F*cking Flower Gum is perfect for those frequent moments when you need to send a direct message to the person standing next to you (and you've also just consumed a lot of garlic.) For those days...

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