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Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

Book Club Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

Rule #1 - There is no Book Club Our Book Club Cocktail Napkins are perfect for your next book reading review. The pie chart humorously, but clearly, shows what really happens at book clubs. We’re still gonna call it a “book club,”...

CrunchCup

$21.99

It's better than spooning! Hasta la vista soggy cereal! The CrunchCup keeps your cereal crunchy... yep, life changing! The milk and cereal don't actually meet until they hit your mouth. Your cereal can now easily be portable, you don't need to lug...

Mail An Instant Snowball Christmas Card

$5.99

Mail a snowball! Share the joy of snow with our Official North Pole Mail A Snowball Christmas Card! Just add 1/4 cup of water and be prepared for a snowy surprise. Snow will grow to 100x its size (roughly the size of a snowball). This card is so much...

Squirrel In Underpants Air Freshener

$4.99

It might seem weird at first, but if you think about it, squirrels in underpants were inevitable. Those little streakers have been running naked through trees for too long! This mildly insane air freshener, which thankfully smells better than a squirrel...

Tit Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel

$14.99

Those are some super cute tits! We swear this is totally innocent... it just sounds totally dirty! Our Tit Bird Fowl Language Kitchen Dish Towel, is a bright and stunningly produced cotton tea towel featuring eight hand drawn birds from the...

Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy you-wrecked-your-mom Day! Give your friends the Anniversary Of Your Birth Birthday Card because saying Happy Cake Day is just too normal nowadays! It's just a fun reminder that they were pushed out of their mom on this day. Let's celebrate! Thank...

Booby Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel

$14.99

Look at these boobies! We swear this is totally innocent... it just sounds inappropriate at first! Our Booby Bird Fowl Language Kitchen Dish Towel, is a beautifully produced cotton tea towel featuring eight hand drawn birds from the Booby species...

Cats, Snacks + Crafts Tattoo Sticker

$3.99

Live by the claw, die by the claw! Our Cats, Snacks + Crafts Tattoo Sticker isn't for pussies, it's for tough as nails cat people who can craft and aren't shy about it!  Are you still deciding on that cat-too? We hear ya! How about you start...

CBD Gummy Cherries

$24.99

Feel CBD cherrific before you know it! Our CBD Gummy Cherries edibles are the ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!  This is not your mom's high school weed! Feeling a bit stressed or anxious? Pop a couple of these in your mouth and you'll feel your worries...

Deer A**hole Greeting Card

$4.99

Deer A**hole, return my calls Our funny, but frank, Deer A**hole Greeting Card is definitely a card for those friends and family who love to laugh. A great card for when someone does something (they know what they did) and it needs to be called out with...

Don't Be A Dik Dik Card Game

$12.99

Don't get caught holding the Dik Dik! Let's play a game and embrace natures naughty side with our hilarious Don't Be A Dik Dik Card Game! It's a hilarious card game for grown-ups who love nature and a little naughtiness! You're guaranteed to laugh! We...

Filing Saucer UFO Paper Clip Holder

$11.99

Desk Space Invaders Don't let your paper clips get lost in the black hole of your desk drawer. Our Flying "Filing" Saucer paperclip holder  magnetically "abducts" the included cow-shaped clips so they're ready to organize all your classified...

Fowl Language Bird Mug

$17.99

Fowl-mouthed fine feathered friends! Some of our feathered friends are positively fowl-mouthed and our amusing Fowl Language Mug features a collection of seemingly innocent birds, all with rather rude names. This is the perfect mug for any bird...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Official World's Smallest Care Bear

$6.99

Classic fun with a retro gift! Our bright World's Smallest Care Bears are your favorite group of colorful and caring bears that just got a lot smaller! Spread some love or beat the bluest of blues with Cheer Bear, Funshine Bear, Share Bear and Grumpy...

Party Bingo Cocktail Napkins

$5.99

Political argument for the win! When you use our fun Party Bingo Cocktail Napkins at your next gathering, you’ll not only be providing your guests with a game to play when you can’t be next to them due to your busy hosting obligations, but...

Red White and F*ck You Politically Offensive Crayons

$9.99

Guaranteed to make you say "ooohmygod!" Here we go again! Another one of those "most important election of our lifetime" is happening again! Are you frustrated with politics? Having a hard time deciding between Trump and Biden's VP for President? We...

Spam Retro Face Mask

$12.99

I'm on the can again... Put yourself out there in our Spam Retro Face Mask Face Mask - it's is a real attention grabber!   Made in the USA!  Swank gift for the tiki King (or Queen of the can) Handmade in the USA from 3 layers of...

The Golden Girls Magnet Set

$9.99

Dorothy! Put your favorite Golden Girls foursome on your fridge, office or any magnetic surface!  This magnet set will take you back as you recreate moments of the Golden Girls and their irreverent stories in their Miami home. The magnet set...

UFO Cow Abduction

$12.99

Beam Up Your Bovine - With Light and Sound! Our udderly fantastic UFO Cow Abduction Kit is an out-of-this-world gift for sci-fi lovers! Loaded with lights and special effects Steven Spielberg would be proud of! It features:  A mini spaceship,...

World Peace + All That Sh*t Birthday Card

$4.99

Whirled peas sounds great! Bobby saw that the perfect birthday wishes are in our World Peace + All That Sh*t Birthday Card. Good for Bobby, thinking of others, even when he is the center of attention. Bobby was obviously a fan of Miss America Pageants...

World's Smallest Elf On The Shelf

$7.99

Honey, we shrunk the elf! The World's Smallest the Elf on the shelf is a timeless Christmas classic... and then we shrunk him!  Move him around the house every night, so he can report to Santa who is naughty and who is nice! We already know... A...

Boobies Fowl Bird Greeting Card

$4.99

Did you see those Boobies?! We love puns and we just love the humor of the Boobies Fowl Bird Greeting Card!  Bird enthusiasts will love receiving this seriously foul, but truly just fowl, greeting card! It's a silly greeting card which illustrates...

Christmas Story Quote Pencils

$6.99

'Fra-Gee-Lay!' It Must Be Italian! Our Christmas Story Pencils are a tribute to the American classic Christmas Story movie. The movie is probably one of the most quoted around the holidays with it's hilarious wit and festive humor! These pencils make a...

Cocks Dirty Bird Pun Greeting Card

$4.99

Stop staring at the Cockatoo! Our Cocks Dirty Bird Pun Greeting Card identifies a selection of thirteen colourful birds from across the world, including Peacocks, Cockerels, Cockatoos and the vivid orange Cock-of-the-Rock species. Perfect to send...

CYMK Pen

$7.99

Sketch in full color! Every color can be created by combining the 4 colours; Cyan, Magenta, Yellow & Black. Change inks with the sliding selectors, coloured ink tubes in the clear nib provide visual confirmation. Experiment, doodle, sketch, get...

Fuck It All Pen Set

$9.99

Great conversational pens! When the moment serves, you'll be ready with our Fuck It All Pen Set! Keep the whole five pen collection ready at your desk or carry your favorite one that seems to cover all the bases at all times! The Fuck It All Pen Set is...

Happy Camper DIY Pencil Holder

$12.99

Kitschy camper for your crayons!  Simply assemble and you're ready to park our retro-styled Happy Camper Pencil Holder on your desk.  Toss in your pens and pencils, kick back and relax! Then you can start planning your next grand adventure (or...

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg RBG Dissent Mints

$3.99

Against the grain with freshness! These Dissent Mints feature Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wearing her dissent collar. When she doesn't agree with the rest of the court, she has a special jabot (ornamental frill) she wears. These mints...

May These Crystals Heal The Sh*t Out Of You Greeting Card

$4.99

Holy shit, I can feel it! Send our May These Crystals Heal The Shit Out Of You Greeting Card to any friend who isn't feeling well or needs some positive energy! It's a great card to lift spirits! Harness the power of the crystals that are pictured on...

Not Today Satan Desk Sign

$6.99

Tomorrow ain't looking good either Bring some creativity and wittiness to your cubicle with our Not Today Satan Desk Sign! This fun (and inspirational?) sign is the perfect addition to your desk at home or work. Your co-workers with their seize the day...

Soft Touch Leopard Print Face Mask

$9.99

Leopard print goes with everything! Our Soft Touch Leopard Print Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of...

Trump's Fake News Stamper

$12.99

Red stamp of disapproval We may be a bit media bias here, but we think our Fake News Stamper is the best stamper of all time.  A tremendous gift.  It will go over bigly with Conservatives and Liberals! It's not weak like other stampers,...

Dude Approved Soft Touch Black Face Mask

$8.99

A mask to match his style! Our Dude Approved Soft Touch Black Face Mask is perfect for the guys that are too shy to wear the cute mask you may have already picked up for him!   This go-to men's mask for those quick manly runs to pick up...

Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask

$12.99

Wine, beer, liquor, booze... Shirley Temple? No matter your drink of choice, we've got you covered - your face that is - with our handmade Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask! Handsomely decorated with a swanky array of retro decanters and etched...

Retro Rocket Rascals in Space Face Mask

$12.99

Retro-futuristic cuteness overload The more we look at our totally rockin' Retro Rocket Rascals in Space Face Mask, the more we fall in love with it! If there is a parallel universe like this out there - sign us up for the next wormhole teleport! This...

Pencils For First World Problems

$9.99

Awwww.... Our hilarious Pencils for First World Problems are for all those Debbie Downers out there. Even though they are given the conveniences of the world, they'll still find a way to complain about it. The shower loses hot water after an hour or...

Pencils For Zero F*cks

$9.99

No fucks. Our Pencils For Zero Fucks are perfect for when you just don't have any fucks to give anymore. You're so over it... you can't even. This new attitude is just what the doctor ordered because we don't like seeing people walk over you. So...

Leopard Print Shoelaces

$7.99

Let's hit the thrift stores! These hot Leopard Print Shoelaces are made from fabric featuring classic leopard print pattern. Great retro feel, perfect for anyone who loves vintage and retro clothing. Why wear plain shoelaces when you express...

Mac & Cheese Candy

$5.99

This is just so cheesy! When I make boxed mac & cheese, I always add a ton of extra butter and milk.  My boyfriend on the other hand thinks he does - but yeah no.  I like mine like a cheesy soup with pasta elbows.  Anyone else with me...

Soft Touch Camo Face Mask

$9.99

Comfort in camo! Our Soft Touch Camo Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch cotton/spandex mix which...

World's Smallest Barbie Dreamhouse

$7.99

The most popular Barbie accessory of all time! The one and only Barbie 1978 A-Frame Dreamhouse is back in miniature size! Now fans of all ages can customize their very own World’s Smallest Barbie Dreamhouse with re-stickable décor stickers...

1980's Retro Fanny Pack Greeting + Money Holder Card

$5.99

Zach Morris called. He wants his fanny pack back. Our totally rad 1980's Retro Fanny Pack Greeting + Money Holder Card let's your gift recipient know that you think they're absolutely fanny-tastic!  Ah, the good ole days! Wham!, Duran Duran,...

Day Drinking Candle

$19.99

It's something o'clock somewhere. Our non-judgmental Day Drinking Candle is the perfect candle for those who like to pour a little bourbon in their coffee in the morning and follow it with a wine spritzer for lunch. The numbers on the clock don't mean...

Kid Shaming Little Jerk Balloons

$7.99

I still don't have an inside voice! Parents know that sometimes, very occasionally, even the most adorable and angelic child can be a bit of a jerk. Little Jerk Balloons are for those moments. The kids don't know what the balloons say now... but just...

Pecker Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel

$14.99

So many peckers! We swear this is totally innocent... it just sounds totally dirty! Our Pecker Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel, is a bright and stunningly produced cotton tea towel featuring hand drawn birds from the Pecker species...

Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Keeps your car from getting as hot as a rotisserie oven Looking at our Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade, you can imagine that these five Rubber Chickens just flew the coop in your car. They’re on the run from the fox police with permanent...

Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings

$9.99

You're a shining star! When you're rocking our Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings, you're guaranteed to steal the show! The spotlight will always be on you(r ears!) While testing these products out we were totally impressed by how...

Bibliophile Bookworm Shoelaces

$7.99

Perfect for a Writer, Book Worm or Blogger! These are fab - Shoelaces covered in black words and lettering on an off white background. This is a perfect shoelace swap for anyone interested in the written word - readers, writers, bloggers. Perfect way to...

Instant Smile Face Mask

$17.99

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it... I'm allowed to leave my home and I think I like it! Oh yeah! We'll get straight to the Pointer Sisters point. Sure, face masks may have become the new norm... but that doesn't mean you need to be normal about...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

Vintage Camper RV Road Trip Face Mask

$12.99

On the road again. Goin' places that I've never been... Deck yourself out in our Vintage Camper RV Road Trip Face Mask - it's is a real gas!  Being quarantined has been a real bummer, and has many folks longing for the freedom of the open...

World's Smallest Glo Worm

$6.99

Glo Worm is still glowing after all these years! Lay your head on your pillow and start counting sheep with the World’s Smallest Glo Worm by your side. The iconic favorite cuddle bug of the 80's is back in a big but smallest way. Glo Worm is ready...

I Love You To Uranus And Back Greeting Card

$4.99

What? It's not dirty... How much do I love you? I Love You To Uranus And Back! There's nothing better than having a loved one that would appreciate this humor. Inside: Uranus is further than the moon and more fun to say.  Eco-friendly...

Offensive-ish Crayons

$9.99

Not your normal box of crayons... Say goodbye to your old boring crayon box of politically correct colors and say hello to our Offensive-ish Crayon Box of 24 blunt, direct, whoa they went there, debatable, and irreverent colors.  Include the...

Deluxe Finger Monster Set

$4.99

Boxed Set of Scary Do you know the secret of shopping at Perpetual Kid?  One of these super silly sneaky monsters ships out with each order of $10+!  That way they can keep an eye (or four) on your goodies during their trip!  Don't worry,...

World's Smallest Transformer

$7.99

More than meets the eye! Our Transformers Micro Action Figures are a tiny version of the iconic and retro 80's Transformers! Select from Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and the evil StarScream who were all original characters to the famous 1980's cartoon show...

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