Best Sellers

Explore the best selling gifts at Perpetual Kid! They are bestsellers for a reason!

Bag of Reindeer Farts

$8.99

Santa's Favorite Christmas Snack! Ho-Ho-Hold the cookies! Santa's favorite Christmas treat is a Bag of Reindeer Farts! Straight from Santa's Workshop at the North Pole comes a delicacy so rare that few know it exists. As part of a magically unique diet...

Bob Ross Happy Little Mints

$2.99

With our Bob Ross Happy Little Mints, The Joy of Painting and fresh breath are now within reach! Talk to the tree, make friends with it. People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different. Enjoy the...

Cat Astronaut Mints

$3.99

Ground Control to Major Tomcat Take your Cat Astronaut Mints and put your helmet on. When Cat Astronaut has its head in that glass helmet, bad breath is the enemy.  Which is why he purrfurs to use Cat Astronaut Mints before and during all of...

Cat Butt Gum

$1.99

Cute As A Butt-on GumIf you've got a lot of attitude to pass around, this gum is just right for you! Includes 8 peppermint pieces of "Kiss My Ass" attitude per box. Get a second box because you've got a lot of attitude to share. Meow! What are you...

Desktop Skee-Ball Game

$9.99

Let the good times roll! Our officially-licensed Desktop Skee-Ball Game kit includes everything you need to play your own version of desktop Skee-Ball! A beacon of childhood memories and general nostalgia Skee-Ball is one of the most recognized and...

FREE Gift Certificate with Purchase

$0.00

Bonus Gift! We're giving you a very special *Thank You* for supporting a small business this holiday season!  As a special bonus, you will receive a free promotional Gift Certificate equal to 10% of your order on your product purchases. ...

Get Along With Your Co-Workers Gum

$1.99

Your Job Doesn't Suck, Just Your Co-Workers The reality in the majority of people's lives is that they have to get a job to survive. Unfortunately you get stuck working alongside people you might not otherwise frequent in the free world! To make your...

Official World's Smallest Lite-Brite

$7.99

Honey, I Shrunk the Lite-Brite! Our Hasbro licensed, World's Smallest Lite-Brite is just like the one you had in the 70's and 80's - just a lot smaller! And YES! It actually works! You will love create tiny pictures on the smallest Lite Brite you have...

Pac-Man Tiny Arcade

$22.99

Portable Pac-Man! Gobble pellets with our Pac-Man Tiny Arcade to relive those cherished moments at the arcade or discover a vintage classic that held the whole world by storm. Pac-Man was a game changer when it came to arcades and will always be...

Sh*tting Rainbows Kind Of Day Socks

$10.99

Holy crapola!  Today is THE BEST!  Our Shitting Rainbows Kind of Day Socks is just the pair to pull out of your sock drawer when you're so freakin happy that you could shit rainbows!   Maybe you woke up thinking it was Friday but it's...

Bob Ross The Joy of Painting Sticky Notes

$6.99

Let's get a little crazy here! Our happy little Bob Ross The Joy of Painting Sticky Notes features images Bob Ross and his unforgettable work. There are hundreds of handy notes and page markers to keep your place, keep your notes, and keep your...

CBD Gummy Cherries

$24.99

Feel CBD cherrific before you know it! Our CBD Gummy Cherries edibles are the ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!  This is not your mom's high school weed! Feeling a bit stressed or anxious? Pop a couple of these in your mouth and you'll feel your worries...

CBD Gummy Ribbons

$24.99

Double rainbow edibles!? What does it mean?? Take a trip outside of your typical comfort zone with our yummy CBD Gummy Ribbons! Say what? With the anti-anxiety and stress-reducing effects of CBD oil, you'll quickly be on your way a relaxing and...

Dancing with Jesus Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book

$10.99

Lord Almighty! Jesus sure has some righteous moves! Our Dancing with Jesus: Mini Bobbling Figurine + Book is truly a God send! Are your dance moves unrighteous?  Do you refrain from getting down, lest others judge you cruelly?  Fear not...

Emergency Chicken Sound Machine

$9.99

Every fowl morning is a chicken emergency Our fowl Emergency Chicken Sound Machine fills in when a real (or rubber) chicken would be too much. The sound machine includes four sounds — peep, cluck, morning crow and squawk. Just the other day we...

Good Measure Wine Recipe Glass

$9.99

Wine time! Bottoms up to good times and totes acceptable day drinkin'! Wine not? Our Good Measure Wine Cocktail Recipe Glass is ready to serve up some clever concoctions for wine cocktails! Our wine measuring glass is printed with seven delectable wine...

Hatch and Grow Llama

$4.99

Hatch your own llama and watch it grow! Allergic to animals? No prob llama! Add water to our Hatch and Grow Llama and a wooly cool pet will emerge in no time! Maybe you just can't handle the responsibility of owning a pet. The walking, the feeding, the...

Official World's Smallest Etch-A-Sketch

$6.99

The World's Favorite Drawing Toy What do you get the person that has everything? Simple.... The World's Smallest Etch-a-Sketch. This classic toy has been bringing joy and amusement to countless people for as long as 50 years- and now that it's pocket...

Official World's Smallest Rock'em Sock'em Robots

$7.99

You knocked my block off! Our World's Smallest Rock'em Sock'em Robots are a chip off the ole block - the Original Rock'em Sock'em Robots of the 1960's that is! It's the fight of the century! You throw a right, the other throws a left, hit the jaw and...

Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings

$9.99

You're a shining star! When you're rocking our Shine On You Crazy Diamond Shaped LED Earrings, you're guaranteed to steal the show! The spotlight will always be on you(r ears!) While testing these products out we were totally impressed by how...

T.V. Rock

$5.99

Tune in to the Ulexite! Plop our awesome TV Rock on any printed surface and it demonstrates a cool fiber-optic effect - it projects images to the surface of this naturally occurring mineral.   This unusual effect is the result of your rock's...

Teeny-Tiny Retro Tinsel Tree

$12.99

Rockin' Around the Retro Tinsel Tree Our Teeny-Tiny Retro Tinsel Tree is a mod lover's Christmas wish come true! Popular in the 1960s, aluminum Christmas trees were the epitome of Christmas festivity and Mid-Century Modern style. The shiny, festive...

The Screaming Goat Mini Book + Figure

$9.99

Office mascot and spirit animal. For when there are no words, The Screaming Goat Mini Book + Figure speaks your language. The ultimate stress reliever, you can no become the owner of your very own screaming goat! Sh*t just goat serious. Let it goat...

Unicorn Fart Lollipop

$4.99

We're ecstatic about our prismatic Unicorn Fart Lollipop by Melville Candy! It is a real gas! A real mythical rainbow-colored fruit-punch-tasting gas-sy fart that is! How did this product get pulled from our imaginations and brought to you on a stick,...

125 Rainbow Scratch Art Notes

$7.99

Create A Masterpiece From Scratch! Make your notes a little more exciting with our 125 Rainbow Scratch Art Notes by Melissa & Doug! If you're writing a note, chances are it's something important, and if it's not important it's probably...

CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis

$24.99

CBD edibles have arrived! Good luck trying to wipe that smile off your face! Too peopley outside? No problem! Reach for your jar of CBD Sour Gummy Smiling Emojis and your social anxiety will run for the hills, instead of you! These smiley face...

Human Powered Light Bulb

$3.99

Why are you so touchy? Are you looking to burn off some energy and have some geeky science fun?  Then it's time to throw on your favorite pair of socks and start dragging your feet around the nearest carpeted floor like you did when you were a...

Lap Cat Napkins

$8.99

Lap cats! No fancy feast is complete without our playful paper Lap Cat Napkins! These folded feline fur'ends are the purr'furred way to keep your whiskers clean! We mean, fur real? Mew must be kitten with those a-paw-ling table manners! It's time...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop

$4.99

What's blue and green and sparkly all over? Our Narwhal Sneeze Lollipop by Melville Candy! This particular pop was embedded with glittery ocean blue and phlegm green sanding sugar then hand-poured on to a wooden popsicle stick. To add another layer...

Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters

$9.99

They're cut out for action! Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters are cut out for action! These stealthy shinobi warriors are set to sneak into your kitchen and stage a cookie coup! Cut, bake, decorate and then watch them disappear! Add swords, nunchaku, and...

Official World's Smallest School Bus

$7.99

The wheels on the bus go round and round.... OMG. We can hardly stand it! Talk about a trip down memory lane! The World's Smallest Fisher Price Little People School Bus is just like the one you'll remember from your childhood. It features the iconic...

The Original Wiz-z-zer

$7.99

Go on, take it for a spin The Original Wiz-z-zer is back and it's ready to shred the competition! Step aside Beyblades there's a new sheriff in town!  You can't expect your mom to hold on to you all of your old toys! So, if you've been...

Tyrannosaurus Rex Lamp

$54.99

Goodness Cretaceous, great balls of fire! Our pterobley awesome Tyrannosaurus Rex Table Lamp is just dying to meat you! This ferocious predator of light (aka dinosaur lamp) effortlessly crushes darkness. No longer will you need to sleep with one eye...

Ms. Pac-Man Tiny Arcade

$22.99

Ms. Pac-Man is back from the 80's! Wacka wacka wacka, hurry up and get a power pellet before those ghosts catch up to her! Play our Ms. Pac-Man Tiny Arcade to relive some fantastic memories of yesteryear or discover a vintage classic that held the whole...

My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks

$10.99

Purrfect for pouncing around town or lounging in your fav sunspot Our My Cat Is Cool As F*ck Socks playfully points out the obvious about your BFF - Best Furry Friend.  Fur real, we'd much paw-fur spending time with our cat over suf-fur-ing through...

Official World's Coolest Polaroid Camera

$7.99

Oh snap! Our World's Coolest Polaroid Camera may not be a working camera - but don't be so negative! It's only an amazingly cool miniature version of the original Polaroid Land Camera, with sound and simulated film! Just press the red button and...

Official World's Smallest Rubik's Cube

$7.99

The Rubik;s Cube is baaaaack! The most colorful + puzzling icon of the 80's has returned and is now available in pocket size! It's true... The World's Smallest Rubik's Cube is perfectly sized so you can carry it with you where ever you go! Giving you...

Pizza Scented Candle

$11.99

The smell of baking dough, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni is such a mouthwatering smell!    Let our Stinky Pizza Candle take you back to your teenage days when pizza was a major food group!   Your place will smell like Papa Dominos is...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug

$11.99

Sweet toothed Def Leopard fan? Our totally def Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug is going to help you rock your mornings! Yeah! Sugar me! Do you take sugar? one lump or two? Whichever way you take it, holding a generous 16 ounces, this mug will keep you...

President Donald Trump Toy Doll

$9.99

The greatest collectible toy for both FANS and foes. Because being President of the United States takes character and there's never been a character like this before. He's always got something to say.  Maybe send one of these to Pelosi or Schiff.....

Space Invaders Tiny Arcade

$22.99

The 80’s are back! Space Invaders are here and they’re smaller than ever! Use the tiny buttons on our Space Invaders Tiny Arcade to fire at swarms of extraterrestrials to prevent the alien invasion and defend the planet! One of the most...

Embracing Mediocrity Mug

$11.99

Meh, I'm happy enough with it... Sometimes in life we strive for the best and other times we’re okay with just getting the job done. Celebrate those moments with our hilarious Embracing Mediocrity, Good Enough Mug. We all have opinions but...

Happy Camper Pencil Holder

$11.99

Kitschy camper for your crayons!  Simply assemble and you're ready to  park our retro-styled Happy Camper Pencil Holder on your desk.  Toss in your pens and pencils, kick back and relax! Then you can start planning your next grand...

Hatch and Grow Sloth

$4.99

Just add water – and hang around!  Our Hatch and Grow Sloth doesn't need any food or special care. Just add water and watch him grow and break out of his tree stump.  So, how does it work? Sit back, and relax. This little fella...

I Just Sh*t In The Woods Hand Sanitizer

$5.99

Watch your step! The worst thing about camping or hiking is that sudden urge to drop a deuce.   So next time you poop in the woods, have our I Just Shit in The Woods Hand Sanitizer available for your cleaning and sanitizing needs.   Let's...

LED Light Up Bobo Balloon

$4.99

As seen on Rachel Ray with Katie Linendoll!  Be the light and the life of the party with Bobo Balloons!  The reflection of the lights against the shiny PVC balloon give the illusion of hundreds of lights! Each Balloon can reach 15 inches...

Who's Awesome? You're Awesome! Gum

$1.99

Great Pick Me Up Candy For Go Getters You are awesome!  But, if you don't believe it when we say it, maybe a Beagle puppy will convince you??  If not, at least you'll have re-upped your gum supply! Our adorkable Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!...

Best Buds Mint Gum

$1.99

Guaranteed Good Shit To Share With A Cannabis Loving Buddy The rumors are true... our gum has gone to pot! Our Best Buds Gum has been made with a very special, mind-altering ingredient. It's called LOVE. Looking for CBD Infused Edibles and...

Helping Hands Chopsticks

$4.99

Looks like your chopstick skills could use a helping hand. Please, a tiny round of applause for our Helping Hands Chopsticks, which were recently featured on BuzzFeed! Hilariously adorable they also make it perfectly okay to eat with your hands, in any...

I'm a Girl, What's Your Superpower? Dish Towel

$10.99

Our amazing I'm a Girl, What's Your Superpower? Dish Towel is leaps and bounds above the rest!  You're a force to be reckoned with, so why settle for some basic dish rag? Put your super powers on display for all the world to see, as this awesome...

Lil' Lager Baby Bottle

$12.99

Do you have a milk chugger? Double-takes are guaranteed when your kid starts knocking back their favorite beverage with our hilarious Chill, Baby Lil' Lager Baby Bottle.    No it's not beer, it's just good old smooth and creamy baby formula...

Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit

$6.99

Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good? Behold our Blue Q Pineapple Brown Sugar Lip Shit! Have you ever seen a cuter little kitty eating an ice cream cone on the top of a tin of high-quality, super-moisturizing lip balm? Us either!Our yumtastic...

UFO Cow Abduction

$12.99

Beam Up Your Bovine - With Light and Sound! Our udderly fantastic UFO Cow Abduction Kit is an out-of-this-world gift for sci-fi lovers! Loaded with lights and special effects Steven Spielberg would be proud of! It features:  A mini spaceship,...

Giant Ice Cream Cone Lamp

$79.99

Just 150,000 Calories! There are just few things in life that are as enjoyable as an ice cream cone!  What better way can you think of to brighten up the mood in your home or office than with a Giant Ice Cream Cone lamp!  Marvel your guests as...

Let's Get Lit Holiday Beer Glass

$14.99

My holiday is going to be very bright! Our Let's Get Lit LED Holiday Beer Glass makes holidays merry and bright! We took Getting Lit literally and put one of the best parts about the holidays in the palm of your hand. Our LED Holiday Beer Glass...

Unbeerlievable Beer Bottle Opener Ring

$5.99

Unbeerlievably Handy! Stop searching through drawers, put down that lighter, and for Pete's sake get that bottle away from your back teeth! Now you'll never be left without the ability to open a tasty micro brew or specialty beer when you have our...

Mister Rogers' Encouragements

$2.99

Won't you, please?  Please, won't you, please?  Please, have one or two Mister Rogers' Encouragemints!! Whether you're changing into your suit or your cardigan - whether you're coming home or going out into the neighborhood, you'll have more...

Huggy Tiny Tree Frog Ear Cuff

$4.99

Your good luck charm! They say that when a lucky frog comes into your life that it's a sign of transformation and it may well spark many wonderful changes! Well that's just a little bit more than a tad exciting!  Our single Tiny Hugging Tree Frog...

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