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Gee Whiz Anti-Profanity Candle

Low stock
Original price $23.99 - Original price $23.99
Original price
$23.99 - $23.99
Current price $23.99
Shipping FAQ's

Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $75. $4.99 on orders under $75. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.

Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.

International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.

Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.


Free Shipping

We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $75 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $75 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)

Time To Ship

Orders ship within 1 business day from our warehouse in Virginia. Delivery days are shown during checkout. We offer standard and rush delivery methods.

APO + FPO Addresses

We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.

Alaska + Hawaii

We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.

International Shipping

Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.

60 Day Returns

Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!

If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)

Payment Methods + Secure Checkout

No need to re-enter your information! Check out quickly and safely with Apple Pay, Paypal, Amazon Pay, Meta, G Pay or Shop payment or your prefered credit card.

We swear you'll love this candle.

This candle may not be for us, as we've been known to use all of the swear words in a single sentence, but our Gee Whiz Anti Profanity Candle is a fun gift for aspiring goody-two-shoes, Pollyanna-type, or for (okay, this is us) anyone that appreciates some good ole wholesome sarcastic fun!

  • Gee Whiz Anti Profanity Candle
  • Smells Like Off-Brand Boxed Wine
  • 12 ounces of soy wax hand-poured into a steel paint can with a cheeky blue and orange retro-style label makes for one helluva swanky candle
  • This profanity-avoidant candle reads, "Gee Whiz I would never use profanity! Except maybe in an emergency. You know, like if I were to run out of boxed wine or if Instagram were down for six hours. Those are the kind of emergencies that tend to make me lose my friggin' mind."
  • Burn time: 50 hours
  • Made in the USA!

With all the F-bombs and C U next Tuesdays flying around everywhere, do you feel it's hard to get a word in edgewise? Just take the easy way out: buy this candle and shut the funk up!

Box-wine scented - hints of white peach, orange zest, & apple. Premium US soy wax. This darn fine-looking steel paint bucket holds 12 oz and measures approximately 3.25 inches in diameter x 3.9 inches tall. Our Gee Whiz Anti Profanity Candle is a darn fun housewarming gift.

Perpetual Kid Reviews from Google