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Gift Guide

It's our 2020 Unique Gift Guide!

Find the perfect gift! Shopping for gifts has never been so much fun! We'll grab your hand and we'll help you explore the depths of awesomeness lurking below the surf.  Our 2020 Gift Guide has fun suggestions to find the best gift for Him, Her, Kids, Teenagers, Co-workers + Pets and more!

 

Fowl Language Mug

$17.99

Fowl-mouthed fine feathered friends! Some of our feathered friends are positively fowl-mouthed and our amusing Fowl Language Mug features a collection of seemingly innocent birds, all with rather rude names. This is the perfect mug for any bird...

100% Legal Pot (Holder)

$9.99

Get Baked + Cook At The Same Time! So, what you've got here is a pot holder that LOOKS like a pot leaf! Pot ... pot. Hilarious!  Long after the novelty of this aptly-named product wears off, you'll be enjoying its quality construction and...

Glamingo Fruit Punch Scented Glitter Sunscreen

$19.99

Pink glitter in the sun = fun fun fun! This exciting pink Glamingo Fruit Punch Scented Glitter SPF50+ Sunscreen is nourishing and loaded with antioxidants, provides broad spectrum UVA/UVB protection and 80 minutes of water resistance. Your skin will...

Spam Retro Face Mask

$12.99

I'm on the can again... Put yourself out there in our Spam Retro Face Mask Face Mask - it's is a real attention grabber!   Made in the USA!  Swank gift for the tiki King (or Queen of the can) Handmade in the USA from 3 layers of...

Car Full Of Aliens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Make your car a UFO! Our Car Full of Aliens Auto Sunshade makes it look like you’re escaping from Area 51! Through the advanced, futuristic power of shade, this out of this world sunshade will allow you to park in the sun without your interior...

Deer A**hole Greeting Card

$4.99

Deer A**hole, return my calls Our funny, but frank, Deer A**hole Greeting Card is definitely a card for those friends and family who love to laugh. A great card for when someone does something (they know what they did) and it needs to be called out with...

Filing Saucer UFO Paper Clip Holder

$11.99

Desk Space Invaders Don't let your paper clips get lost in the black hole of your desk drawer. Our Flying "Filing" Saucer paperclip holder  magnetically "abducts" the included cow-shaped clips so they're ready to organize all your classified...

I Never Fart Socks

$10.99

I never fart, but I do lie.  Pick up a pair of our I Never Fart Women's Crew Socks for that friend that somehow manages to hold it all in until she gets home. We all know that one person that always seems to have their shit together and they never...

Just Beachy Shark Bait Face Mask

$12.99

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water Don't get too chummy out there buddy! Protect yourself from the circling crowds with our Just Beachy Shark Bait Face Mask! It's like a life preserver for your face.  Handmade in the...

Kid's Rainbow Ice Cream Tumbler

$11.99

Double (insulated) rainbow! As the weather heats up prepare to cool down in style with our Kid's Rainbow Ice Cream Tumbler. Get sippy with it and drink in colorful style!  Shaped to resemble a scrumptious ice cream cone, this rainbow colored...

Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask

$12.99

Wine, beer, liquor, booze... Shirley Temple? No matter your drink of choice, we've got you covered - your face that is - with our handmade Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask! Handsomely decorated with a swanky array of retro decanters and etched...

Let's Have A Little Fun Greeting Card

$4.99

Puff puff pass, this stuff is A-meow-zing! You've already planned the home bound event and now you just have to give the Let's Have A Little Fun And Smoke Some Weed to your quarantine buddies. Let's have a little fun and smoke a little weed! Two frisky...

Pineapple Beach Fan

$15.99

Cool and fruity breeze! Our Pineapple Handheld Beach Fan is sweet indoors or outdoors. Pool, beach, office, or just as a fun accessory! So sit back and relax with a nice breeze. The blades are also super soft for safety! Requires x2 AA batteries (not...

Pizza Candy

$5.99

Yum? The only bad thing about pizza is that you can’t fold it up and carry it around in your pocket without making a huge mess.  Well,  that's not really true... I know a guy that would put a plastic baggie in his pocket and sneak food...

President Of Local Gas Company Men's Socks

$12.99

It's hard to believe it all started in the mailroom. Some guys just have that special "something" that makes them a good fit for our President of the Local Gas Company Men's Crew Socks. Maybe it's the meal planning? Maybe it's the finger pulling? Some...

Relax! After All You're The F*cking Birthday Girl Card

$4.99

Shut the door and have some me time! Seriously.  Relax! After All You're The Fucking Birthday Girl!  You probably haven't had time to pee without interruption in years.  Take today, you deserve it! Made in the USA! Printed on premium...

Rockstar Guitar Case Lunch Box

$19.99

Carry sandwiches like a rock-n-roll star. Cool kids bring their own lunch. The coolest kids conceal their lunch in a guitar case. Prove your rock-star credentials, decorate with your favorite band stickers. Or prove you're eating 5-a-day and decorate...

Soft Touch Camo Face Mask

$9.99

Comfort in camo! Our Soft Touch Camo Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch cotton/spandex mix which...

Total Keeper Laptop Sticker

$3.99

Because... it's Rad! Our serious childhood flashback Total Keeper Laptop Sticker is an homage to everyone's favorite school supply. Trapper Keepers were tossed, thrown, walked over and still kept going. Toss this throwback sticker on your laptop, tablet...

You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card

$4.99

Happy squeezing out day! Remind everyone where they really came from and send them some birthday love with our You Came Out Of A Vagina Today. Gross. Birthday Card. It's a miracle... but kind of a gross miracle. Today is the day you were squeezed out of...

5 Rules for Happiness, Or Just Smoke A Little Weed Greeting Card

$4.99

We're stoked about this card! We'ed bet you have a few friends that would totally relate to our 5 Rules for Happiness, Or Just Smoke A Little Weed Greeting Card. It wouldn't be cool to know the recipe for happiness and not share it with all of your...

American Flag Face Mask

$9.99

Wear Old Glory everyday with pride! Our American Flag Face Mask is a fun and functional way to celebrate patriotism this summer! Wear it with pride, wear it for the 4th and wear it as your go-to mask. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch...

Backyard Hopscotch Water Sprinkler

$24.99

Just a hop, skip and a jump to play! Your kids will never be bored this summer (not totally guaranteed) with our Backyard Hopscotch Water Sprinkler!  Playing hopscotch on an inflatable sprinkler is just mind-blowing summer fun!  Water comes up...

Dogs, Snacks + Naps Sticker

$3.99

Life as I know it... and love it! Are you still deciding on that tattoo? We hear ya! How about you start by tattooing your travel mug, car, phone, or computer with our Dogs, Snacks + Naps Sticker! Made in the USA Measures 2.75 inches wide X 3 inches...

Duchess Of Sassytown Socks

$10.99

Sassy Socks For Her Now, we're sure that being the Duchess of Cambridge has its perks... like hanging out with Prince Harry vs having to scoop the litter box. But honestly, rather than be a fancy aristocrat, we'd much prefer to prance around town in our...

F*ck You Very Much Greeting Card

$4.99

F*ck you, f*ck you very much! Sometimes a Thank You is all well and good, but sometimes you need to just say it with our floral Fuck You Very Much Greeting Card. Some good, old-fashioned swearing can really get your point across well. Perfect as a...

F*cking Meetings Candle

$19.99

Smells like this could have been an email... Our angst-poured Fucking Meetings Candle is for anyone that has been called to a meeting that was really about nothing... or at least should've just been a group email regarding the subject. The candle has a...

Fourth of July Fireworks Tie-Dye Face Mask

$9.99

Go ahead and tie-dye one on this Forth of July! Our fun + festive Fourth of July Fireworks Tie-Dye Mask will allow you to celebrate Independence Day in style!  Demonstrate your love of the good ole U S of A and your love of all of its citizens...

Global Wishes Dandelion Necklace

$12.99

Best wishes! Dandelions are proof that perception is the key to happiness.  Where some may see a lawn full of weeds, the lucky ones see a field full of wishes! While counting your blessings and being grateful is wonderful, being given the...

I Pooped In Your Bed Greeting Card

$5.99

Need a laugh? Our I Pooped In Your Bed Cat Greeting Card is perfect for sending to your favorite cat lady for any occasion! This krafty card has a cute and quirky three-dimensional coned kitty! A high quality rainbow striped envelope makes this card a...

I'm Rubber You're Glue Sticker

$2.99

Easiest way to explain Karma This hilarious glue bottle I'm Rubber You're Glue Sticker is a call out to one of the most popular comebacks of all time! I'm rubber, you're glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you! This is a classic riposte used,...

Kicking Ass + Taking Names Greeting Card

$4.99

Boss lady takes no prisoners! Our celebratory Kicking Ass and Taking Names Greeting Card is a fantastic gift to someone is getting that big promotion or is adding names to the shit list! This boss lady isn't slowing down, she's kicking ass and taking...

Leopard Print Shoelaces

$7.99

Let's hit the thrift stores! These hot Leopard Print Shoelaces are made from fabric featuring classic leopard print pattern. Great retro feel, perfect for anyone who loves vintage and retro clothing. Why wear plain shoelaces when you express...

Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card

$4.99

Weed, cheese and wine... oh my! Our celebratory Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card is the perfect birthday card for a close puff-pass friend! Let's get stoned! I mean... let's a nice bottle of wine and some fancy cheese! Honestly, I'm...

Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card

$4.99

If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one. Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Milk, Milk, Lemonade Pencils

$2.99

Around the corner fudge is made. If you're not sure what this Milk, Milk, Lemonade Pencil Set is referencing, you might have grown up too fast. This classic children's phrase was a sassy way to explain colors of stuff that comes from the body and it's...

No Regrets Bandages

$5.99

I regret nothing... except that chili dog for dinner! You won't have any regrets about getting hurt after you paste on one of these No Regrets Bandages. The people that live life with no regrets could probably use a few dozen boxes of bandages, wouldn't...

Oh Sh*t! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card

$4.99

My love of food stopped me from going pro! Give your friend this humorous Oh Shit! Has Anyone Seen My Hopes + Dreams Greeting Card featuring a woman who has misplaced her hopes and dreams. This is the perfect card for anyone who derailed a bit from...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Rainbow Throw Rug

$24.99

Somewhere over the rainbow is my missing shoe... Looking to add positive vibes and happy colors to your home?  Brighten it up with our playful Rainbow Throw Rug! It’s made with extra soft cotton pile and looks totally 80's in any room...

Rosie the Riveter Air Freshener

$4.99

Run your car on girl power with our Rosie the Riveter Air Freshener! Okay, well technically you'll need gas, and probably a 30K service too, but you know what we mean! That's right, there's yet another thing Rosie can add to the list of things she can...

Sunny Life Megaphone

$24.99

Turn it up! Save your voice and get your family in from the water or yard with our stylish Megaphone! Once you have one... you'll soon realize they're essential. Get loud and proud! Requires x4 C batteries (not included) Suitable for outdoor use...

The Ridiculously Rude Plants Mug

$17.99

Excuse me, have you snipped your Shaggy Soldier? Our Ridiculously Rude Plants Mug features a fun collection of seemingly innocent plants that all have ridiculously rude names. This is the perfect mug for any gardener who would get a chuckle over a...

Vintage Camper RV Road Trip Face Mask

$12.99

On the road again. Goin' places that I've never been... Deck yourself out in our Vintage Camper RV Road Trip Face Mask - it's is a real gas!  Being quarantined has been a real bummer, and has many folks longing for the freedom of the open...

Always Be A Unicorn Socks

$10.99

Introducing our Always Be A Unicorn Socks! Also know as Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Then Always Be A Unicorn Socks! We're not going to say that it wasn't a struggle to fit all those words on a sock, but we're also not going to say...

B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt

$12.99

B*tch is the new black Our B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the non-conforming, sometimes foul-mouthed, matriarch. We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that,...

Cats, Snacks + Crafts Tattoo Sticker

$3.99

Live by the claw, die by the claw! Our Cats, Snacks + Crafts Tattoo Sticker isn't for pussies, it's for tough as nails cat people who can craft and aren't shy about it!  Are you still deciding on that cat-too? We hear ya! How about you start...

Ginormous Ape Yard Sprinkler

$59.99

Gorillas in the mist With our Ginormous Ape Yard Sprinkler you'll be the chimp-ion of the next neighborhood BBQ or get-together! We're not monkeying around! Okay, actually yes, yes we are. Gibbon the chance, you would too. Measures over 7 feet...

Good Book Flask

$19.99

The greatest book ever has a hidden compartment! Stash your favorite nip in the Good Book and stash it on your bookshelf!  Heavenly 4 oz stainless steel hip flask. Makes a great gift for grandpa! Grandma needs to mind her own business. It fits...

Happy Birthday To A Bad*ss Card

$4.99

You're an ass, but in a good way! Our Happy Birthday To A Badass Mother Fucker Card is absolutely not appropriate for your grandma... Even if she is a badass, we have nicer cards with different ways of saying that! Made in the USA! Printed on...

I Might Be High Mug

$11.99

hi High! You have opinions, but sometimes you can't say them out loud. Our cheeky I Might Be High Mug tells the world exactly how you’re feeling. With a colorful floral background on a white mug, you’re letting everyone know how much...

I'm A Dog Person Keychain + Tag Set

$12.99

Dog people have Paw-fect friendships! Set the record straight, right away, with our I'm A Dog Person Keychain + Tag Set. The set comes with a fabulous keychain that states, "I'm a dog person" while the tag for the dog says, "I'm a person dog" which will...

Inflatable Baby Elephant Sprinkler

$24.99

It's a trunk load of summer fun! Get ready for the sunny season with our Inflatable Baby Elephant Outdoor Water Sprinkler. Enjoy cute and cool outdoor adventures for family fun in the sun!  Elephant shaped design Non toxic on-toxic 6P free...

Inflatable Baby Unicorn Sprinkler

$24.99

Sprinkle the magic of a baby unicorn! Our adorable Inflatable Baby Unicorn Sprinkler toy is up to the challenge of cooling down your kid!  It's time to go from pool to cute cool with a unicorn horn to cool you down on a hot summer...

Lil' Lager Baby Bottle

$12.99

Do you have a milk chugger? Double-takes are guaranteed when your kid starts knocking back their favorite beverage with our hilarious Chill, Baby Lil' Lager Baby Bottle.    No it's not beer, it's just good old smooth and creamy baby formula...

Lil' Rainbow Glitter Kiddie Pool Float

$14.99

What could be better than our Happy Lil' Rainbow Kiddie Pool Float for your little pot of gold! You're going to have an unforgettable summer with your kiddos! This Happy Rainbow Lil’ Float is dual-chambered for stability, featuring a secure &...

Master Crapsman Poo- Pourri Gift Set

$19.99

It’s Poo hunting season! The perfect gift for the handyman in your life, Master Crapsman Gift Set comes with both Trap-A-Crap and Royal Flush scents. Maybe it's one bottle for the basement aka man cave and another for our in the garage? Whatever...

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