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FREE SHIPPING today on orders of $75+

Valentine's Day Gift Guide

Ugh. Not again. Do you hate Valentine's Day? Been through a recent breakup, just sick of the commercialization of love, happy just doing you? We have fun Anti-Valentine's Day gifts for yourself and all others not interested in the game.

Anti-Valentine's Day Gifts

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    Shakespearean Profanities Cards

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    These insults are lit! Literary buffs will thoroughly enjoy the barbed tongue insults highlighted in our Shakespearean Profanities Cards! They're l...

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    Unf*ck Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself Paint Can Candle

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    Time to give it another f*cking go. Present the gift of another chance with our brazenly funny Unfuck Yourself Pain Can Candle! Whatever the occasi...

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    100 Ways To Eat Cock

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    cock-a-doodle-doo! Are your taste buds in a fowl mood? Maybe you've been brooding over the same old chicken dishes? Fear no more! 🐔Whether you're f...

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    Stress Pickle

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    Stay cool as a cucumber! Don't get yourself in a pickle by losing your cool at an inappropriate time! Dill with it the best you can with our hilari...

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    Hey Bitches Gum

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    Bitches + Kittens When you whip out your pack of Hey Bitches Gum, you'd better be ready to toss back a box of Pino Grigio! You are calling the pack...

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    Certified Pain In The Ass Gum

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    Let them know they're a PITA 🤗 Officially recognize that special nuisance in your life with our Certified Pain In The Ass Gum. They should be proud...

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    Cocks Dirty Pun Bird Dish Towel

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    Check out my huge cock towel! We swear that Our Cocks Dirty Pun Bird Dish Towel just sounds inappropriate at first! It is a beautifully produced co...

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    Mini Air Horn

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    We BWAHHH 'ing love it! 📢 Make some noise, get the party started, censor some foul #%@!'ing language, shut up a Karen, or punctuate a point with ou...

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    F Bombs Paint Can Candle

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    Can you really trust anyone that can't drop a well placed F-Bomb? We swear your foul-mouth friends with love our F Bombs Paint Can Candle! To hell ...

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    Sh*tting Rainbows Kind Of Day Socks

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    Holy crapola! Today is THE BEST! Our Shitting Rainbows Kind of Day Socks is just the pair to pull out of your sock drawer when you're so freakin ...

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    Day Drinking Candle

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    It's something o'clock somewhere. Our non-judgmental Day Drinking Candle is the perfect candle for those who like to pour a little bourbon in their...

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    At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

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    Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in ...

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    Calm Your Tits Card Game

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    Tough tits! Our Calm Your Tits Card Game is a titillating pairs game for very silly adults is to win all the cards or be the last tit standing! Pl...

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    Sarcasm Pen Set

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    Sure, help yourself to some of my pens! Our Sarcasm Pen Set is the perfect set of pens for anyone who can't every be taken literally! Sarcasm is ...

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    Millennial Pen Set

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    Back when I was a kid my phone was attached to a wall! Our Millennial Pen Set is the perfect set of pens for everyone that is too old and too youn...

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    Inflatable Hunk Pool Ring

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    Have a summer fling with this hunky blow up pool ring! Meet Chad. Our cheeky Inflatable Hunk Pool Ring! He's supportive, easy to talk to, and will ...

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    Demotivational Pen Set

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    It will probably get worse If you're like us, and the thought of seeing another thing that says "hustle harder" makes you gag, this Demotivational ...

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    Calm Your Tits! Bird Mug

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    Feeling stressed out? Need a good laugh? This mug is the tits! 🐦 Our naturally punny Calm Your Tits Bird Mug will look great perched on your desk...

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    Hot Salted Sriracha 55% Dark Chocolate Bar

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    Don't miss out on this spicy love affair... with chocolate! Spice up your Valentine's Day with a Hot Salted Sriracha 55% Dark Chocolate Bar! Imagin...

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    F*ck, Marry, Kill? Adult Card Game

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    No one is safe from being wed, dead, or taken to bed. Our crude, rude, and socially acceptable (in the right crowd) F*ck Marry, Kill Card Game is a...

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    Giant Gumball Scented Giant Stress Ball

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    Bubble Gum Scented! Before you blow up over a stressful situation, or blow things out of proportion, grab a hold of our super satisfying Giant Gumb...

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    I Love Your Penis, It's The Best Greeting Card

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    It's an outstanding quality you possess! I know I've told you hundreds of times what I love about you, but this one may have slipped by... Made i...

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    Welcome to The Shit Show Pen Set

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Come one, come all! 🎪💩 Our hilariously inviting Welcome to The Shit Show Pen Set is the perfect gift for those going through some sh*t! Because fin...

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    Some People Just Need A High Five To The Face Gum

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    Some People Just Need a High Five. In the Face. With a Chair. Our cheeky High Five BlueQ gum will help you easily relay your empathy and disdain in...

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    I Like Big Balls And I Cannot Lie Knitting Mug

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    Oh my god, Becky. Look at her yarn. It's so big. Share your love for big balls (of yarn!) and 90's rap + hip-hop, with our hilarious knitting-theme...

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    Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

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    Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now....

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    You're Kind Of A Dick Gum

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    For that Dick in your life - and we ain't talkin' about Richard Our vintage-styled You're Kind of a Dick Gum is a fun and unexpected gift you can ...

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    Maybe Today, Satan Sticker

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    Cheetos at 2am? Mmm-kay Our diabolic Maybe Today, Satan Sticker is a hilarious take on the popular phrase "Not today, Satan." But this past year an...

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    Step Aside Coffee Gum

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    Coffee... We love you. You're so cute sometimes! Now step aside, it's time to bring in the big guns! Our hilariously irreverent Step Aside Coffee...

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    Squirrel in Underpants Bobblehead Nodder

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    No naked squirrels! Makes your commute a little less nuts Tired of all those naked squirrels streaking across your yard? Think squirrels should ta...

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    Pencils For Zero F*cks

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    No fucks. Our Pencils For Zero Fucks are perfect for when you just don't have any fucks to give anymore. You're so over it... you can't even. This ...

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    Grumpy Old Man Men's Socks

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Got a grumpy old man? Like we needed to be told you're grumpy! Your complaining is funny but neverending! Grumpy runs in my family... how about y...

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    Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

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    Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you kno...

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    I Might Be High Mug

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    hi High! You have opinions, but sometimes you can't say them out loud. Our cheeky I Might Be High Mug tells the world exactly how you’re feeling. ...

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    Shut The Hell Up Gum

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    Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than ...

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    The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks

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    [Thrusts middle fingers towards the sky] Embrace the suck with our The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks! Sure things may look bad now, but bad new...

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    7th Grader For Life Men's Socks

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Tell adulthood to put a sock in it. The best part of becoming an adult is deciding not to grow-up! Our blatantly immature 7th Grader For Life Me...

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    Pencils For First World Problems

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    Awwww.... Our hilarious Pencils for First World Problems are for all those Debbie Downers out there. Even though they are given the conveniences of...

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    Hot Salted Sriracha Milk Chocolate Bar

    In stock

    Spice up your Valentine's Day! Get ready to spice up your taste buds with our Hot Salted Sriracha Milk Chocolate Bar!  A perfect Valentine's Day gi...

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    Mr. Bendy's Bathtime Soap

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    We don't want to come off as cocky, but... We're sure that special little wanker in your life will love to suds up with our Mr. Bendy's Bathtime S...

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    People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel

    In stock

    Far superior to paypurrr products. Our hiss-terical People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel just barely scratches the surface of ones pre-fur-ence for cats...

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    Ass Wipe Dusting Mitt

    In stock

    The dusting mitt that totally kicks ass! Is the thought of spring cleaning and dusting getting you down? Time to get your ass to work with our Ass ...

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    Desktop Boxing

    In stock

    Hooked on a feeling! Stop taking your stress out on your co-workers, take it out on our Desktop Boxing. You can set up the desktop punching bag tha...

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    People I Want To Meet: Dogs. Socks

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Doggone right! It may sound a bit ruff to some, but our People I Want To Meet: Dogs. Socks will make dog people howl with laughter! I talk to my do...

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    Get The F*cking Hint Ballpoint Pens

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    Hey. Seriously. Read the room. Crack up your coworkers with our hilarious Get The Hint Ballpoint Pens - designed to get your point across - without...

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    I Hate You Just Kidding Gum

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    Do you think I'm kidding? Yeah, yeah... wasting time hating someone is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die... or somethin...

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    Everything is Garbage Greeting Card

    In stock

    Everything's coming up roses garbage Our wonderfully pithy Everything is Garbage Card is the perfect combination of cute and cranky. This perky li...

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    $12.99 - $12.99
    Current price $12.99

    I'm Going To Need You To Cover That In Chocolate Dish Towel

    In stock

    So yeah, if you can just go ahead and do that! I'm Going To Need You To Cover That In Chocolate Dish Towel... I understand that it's already chocol...

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    Original price $12.99 - Original price $12.99
    Original price
    $12.99
    $12.99 - $12.99
    Current price $12.99

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