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Valentine's Day Gift Guide

Ugh. Not again. Do you hate Valentine's Day? Been through a recent breakup, just sick of the commercialization of love, happy just doing you? We have fun Anti-Valentine's Day gifts for yourself and all others not interested in the game.

Anti-Valentine's Day Gifts

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    Calm Your Tits Card Game

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    Tough tits! Our Calm Your Tits Card Game is a titillating pairs game for very silly adults is to win all the cards or be the last tit standing! Pl...

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    At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum

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    Super Cheeky Ass-piring Candy Our super cheeky At Least The Couch Thinks I've Got A Great Ass. Gum is totally relatable for those of us who are in ...

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    Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

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    Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you kno...

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    Pencils For Zero F*cks

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    No fucks. Our Pencils For Zero Fucks are perfect for when you just don't have any fucks to give anymore. You're so over it... you can't even. This ...

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    Sh*tting Rainbows Kind Of Day Socks

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    Holy crapola! Today is THE BEST! Our Shitting Rainbows Kind of Day Socks is just the pair to pull out of your sock drawer when you're so freakin ...

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    Ass Wipe Dusting Mitt

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    The dusting mitt that totally kicks ass! Is the thought of spring cleaning and dusting getting you down? Time to get your ass to work with our Ass ...

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    Grumpy Old Man Gum

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    For crotchety gentleman, young and old Cool down that hot-tempered, complaint-filled mouth with our minty Grumpy Old Man Gum! The fun checker boa...

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    Calm Your Tits! Bird Mug

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    Feeling stressed out? Need a good laugh? This mug is the tits! 🐦 Our naturally punny Calm Your Tits Bird Mug will look great perched on your desk...

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    I Like Big Balls And I Cannot Lie Knitting Mug

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    Oh my god, Becky. Look at her yarn. It's so big. Share your love for big balls (of yarn!) and 90's rap + hip-hop, with our hilarious knitting-theme...

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    Stress Pickle

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    Stay cool as a cucumber! Don't get yourself in a pickle by losing your cool at an inappropriate time! Dill with it the best you can with our hilari...

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    Giant Gumball Scented Giant Stress Ball

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    Bubble Gum Scented! Before you blow up over a stressful situation, or blow things out of proportion, grab a hold of our super satisfying Giant Gumb...

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    F*ck You! Stay Positive Magnet

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    Man, these two are polar opposites! 🧲⚡ Our hilarious Fuck You! Stay Positive. Magnet, perfectly illustrates that the struggle to stay positive is r...

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    Some People Just Need A High Five To The Face Gum

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    Some People Just Need a High Five. In the Face. With a Chair. Our cheeky High Five BlueQ gum will help you easily relay your empathy and disdain in...

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    Peckers Dirty Pun Greeting Card

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    These peckers like morning wood Our cute Peckers Dirty Pun Greeting Card illustrates a selection of eleven birds from the woodpecker family, includ...

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    Pecker Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel

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    So many peckers! We swear this is totally innocent... it just sounds totally dirty! Our Pecker Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel, is a bright and stunn...

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    Maybe Today, Satan Sticker

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    Cheetos at 2am? Mmm-kay Our diabolic Maybe Today, Satan Sticker is a hilarious take on the popular phrase "Not today, Satan." But this past year an...

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    Shut The Hell Up Gum

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    Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than ...

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    Check Out My Butthole Catnip Cat Toy

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    Knitting, Nipping🧶😺 This kitty has big plans.... to make you mittens and make you feel slightly uncomfortable! Our hilarious Check Out My Butthole ...

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    Step Aside Coffee Gum

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    Coffee... We love you. You're so cute sometimes! Now step aside, it's time to bring in the big guns! Our hilariously irreverent Step Aside Coffee...

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    Demotivational Pen Set

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    It will probably get worse If you're like us, and the thought of seeing another thing that says "hustle harder" makes you gag, this Demotivational ...

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    Sarcasm Pen Set

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    Sure, help yourself to some of my pens! Our Sarcasm Pen Set is the perfect set of pens for anyone who can't every be taken literally! Sarcasm is ...

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    Millennial Pen Set

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    Back when I was a kid my phone was attached to a wall! Our Millennial Pen Set is the perfect set of pens for everyone that is too old and too youn...

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    Welcome to The Shit Show Pen Set

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    Come one, come all! 🎪💩 Our hilariously inviting Welcome to The Shit Show Pen Set is the perfect gift for those going through some sh*t! Because fin...

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    Everything is Garbage Greeting Card

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    Everything's coming up roses garbage Our wonderfully pithy Everything is Garbage Card is the perfect combination of cute and cranky. This perky li...

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    Eat Sh*t. Seriously, Do Not Mess With Me Today Gum

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    Rude + Crude Gum Hey, it's nothing personal but have a piece of this Eat Shit Gum. Basically what I'm trying to say is to leave me alone right now....

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    How To Swear In Sign Language

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    Amazing ways to insult people without saying a word! Whether you prefer to do so to their face, behind their back, or once you get back in the car...

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    Shakespearean Profanities Cards

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    These insults are lit! Literary buffs will thoroughly enjoy the barbed tongue insults highlighted in our Shakespearean Profanities Cards! They're l...

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    Yay! Serial Killer Documentaries Vinyl Sticker

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    Netflix and Chill (yourself to the bone!) If you have an unquenchable thirst for delving into the twisted minds of sadistic serial killers, our Yay...

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    Hey Bitches Gum

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    Bitches + Kittens When you whip out your pack of Hey Bitches Gum, you'd better be ready to toss back a box of Pino Grigio! You are calling the pack...

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    Horny For Food Oven Mitt

    Last One! In stock, ready to ship

    Look at me the way you look at that cupcake! Our saucy and swank Horny For Food Oven Mitt is a must for foodies everywhere! The tangerine and pink...

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    100 Ways To Eat Cock

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    cock-a-doodle-doo! Are your taste buds in a fowl mood? Maybe you've been brooding over the same old chicken dishes? Fear no more! 🐔Whether you're f...

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    Bag Of Unicorn Farts

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    Top Valentine's Day Gift! Ode to Bag of Unicorn Farts | Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart. | We love you more than a Bag of Unicorn Farts! A perfect ...

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    I Hate You Just Kidding Gum

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    Do you think I'm kidding? Yeah, yeah... wasting time hating someone is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die... or somethin...

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    I Love Your Penis, It's The Best Greeting Card

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    It's an outstanding quality you possess! I know I've told you hundreds of times what I love about you, but this one may have slipped by... Made i...

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    F*ck, Marry, Kill? Adult Card Game

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    No one is safe from being wed, dead, or taken to bed. Our crude, rude, and socially acceptable (in the right crowd) F*ck Marry, Kill Card Game is a...

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    Desktop Boxing

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    Hooked on a feeling! Stop taking your stress out on your co-workers, take it out on our Desktop Boxing. You can set up the desktop punching bag tha...

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The Best Store for Valentine's Day Gifts & Greeting Cards!

Are you ready to take your Valentine's Day shopping to the next level? Look no further than PerpetualKid.com, your one-stop-shop for the absolute best and most hilarious Valentine's Day gifts and greeting cards for 2024! We've got a delightful selection of fun and funny presents that'll make your loved one laugh out loud.

At PerpetualKid.com, we believe that Valentine's Day should be about more than just hearts and roses. That's why we offer fun and functional gifts that are sure to please. From quirky gadgets to offbeat accessories, our unique and affordable range has something for everyone.

But we're not just about traditional gifts. We've got candy that'll satisfy your sweet tooth and unusual presents that'll leave you speechless. From funny socks to wacky gadgets, we've got it all, catering to both kids and adults. And for those who aren't big fans of Valentine's Day, we've got you covered with our Anti-Valentine's Day gifts. Who needs hearts when you can have a voodoo doll instead?

And let's not forget about Galentine's Day! We have the perfect gifts to celebrate the special bond between friends. Whether it's quirky trinkets or hilarious greeting cards, PerpetualKid.com is the go-to place to show your gal pals some love.

So, don't wait! Shop now and discover the funniest, most unusual, and affordable Valentine's Day gifts and greeting cards for 2024. You won't find a better selection anywhere else. Shop with us and make this Valentine's Day a memorable one!