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Gift Guide

It's our 2020 Unique Gift Guide!

Find the perfect gift! Shopping for gifts has never been so much fun! We'll grab your hand and we'll help you explore the depths of awesomeness lurking below the surf.  Our 2020 Gift Guide has fun suggestions to find the best gift for Him, Her, Kids, Teenagers, Co-workers + Pets and more!

 

Neon CBD Gummy Bears

$14.99

Do more of what makes you happy! I'm a yummy, edible, social anxiety reducing CBD edible! What a long strange trip it's been getting Neon CBD Gummy Bears to the market, but we're so Grateful they've finally made it! Now that they're available, weed...

Official World's Smallest Etch-A-Sketch

$6.99

The World's Favorite Drawing Toy What do you get the person that has everything? Simple.... The World's Smallest Etch-a-Sketch. This classic toy has been bringing joy and amusement to countless people for as long as 50 years- and now that it's pocket...

Official World's Smallest Perplexus

$9.99

Easy to Play... Hard to Master! We can describe the World's Smallest Perplexus in one word. A-maze-ing. *badum tssh* Perplexus Original now comes in a miniature pocket-sized edition so you can keep playing on the go! This 3D maze has always been a fun...

Oh, For F*ck's Sake Magnet

$4.99

When ugh just won't do! When a facepalm isn't enough, our Oh, For Fuck's Sake Magnet speaks for you. This cool magnet can read your mind and is equally effective at saying "F*** Off," "I forgive you," or "I'm sorry your life is feeling like a dumpster...

P Is for Pterodactyl - The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

$17.99

Seriously... this is terrible! Turning the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, P is for Pterodactyl is perfect for anyone who has ever been stumped by silent letters or confused by absurd homophones. This whimsical, unique book takes...

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and F*ck Off Oven Mitt

$12.99

Can you pass me some f*ck off? So we all know a few of those recipe robbers...  You know, the ones that will take and make your recipe then bask in all the glory!  Wars were started for less than this! Sure, I just use a little Parsley, Sage,...

Pawfect Nails Dog Belly Nail File

$6.99

Scratch my belly! Give these adorable puppies a tummy scratch while keeping your nails in pawfect condition. A super cute addition to any dog-lovers manicure set.   'Tickle' the pups tummies to file your nails Double sided, 150/180...

Pecker Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel

$14.99

So many peckers! We swear this is totally innocent... it just sounds totally dirty! Our Pecker Bird Fowl Language Dish Towel, is a bright and stunningly produced cotton tea towel featuring hand drawn birds from the Pecker species...

People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel

$10.99

Far superior to paypurrr products. Our hiss-terical People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel just barely scratches the surface of ones pre-fur-ence for cats over humans. Purrrhaps you're looking for a gift for your crazy cat lady friend? or maybe you just...

Pickle Eraser

$2.99

Relish in your mistakes! Mistakes don't need to be a big dill, fix them up with our real-dill Pickle Eraser! This realistic mini-dill is ready to help out if you find yourself in a pickle with your notes and doodles. Single pickle eraser Made of...

Pizza Scented Candle

$11.99

The smell of baking dough, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni is such a mouthwatering smell!    Let our Stinky Pizza Candle take you back to your teenage days when pizza was a major food group!   Your place will smell like Papa Dominos is...

Pocket Science Pet Tornado

$7.99

Great gift for the storm chaser in your life! Messy office?  Great! So now when your snarky office mate asks if your desk was hit by a tornado, you can say in fact yes, and proudly introduce them to your Pet Tornado.   Give the jar a swirl or...

Pocket Sized Pink Citron Poo-Pourri

$4.99

Pretty in Pink smells so good! Satisfy your sweet tooth with a spritz of Pink Citron Poo-Pourri so you can leave a little sparkle wherever you GO! The blend of Strawberry, Rock Candy and Citron natural essential oils eliminate odor before it even begins...

Pocket Sized Sweet Violet Poo-Pourri

$4.99

Berries are black, violets are blue, honey smells sweet when you poo! You can leave a little sparkle wherever you GO with just a small spritz of Sweet Violet Poo-Pourri! The blend of Blackberry, Violet and Honey natural essential oils eliminate odor...

Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug

$11.99

Sweet toothed Def Leopard fan? Our totally def Pour Some Sugar in Me Mug is going to help you rock your mornings! Yeah! Sugar me! Do you take sugar? one lump or two? Whichever way you take it, holding a generous 16 ounces, this mug will keep you...

Present From The Ass-Holery Cat Birthday Card

$4.99

Are you kitten me? Our mischievous Present From Cat Birthday Card reminds us that we all love the cat, but the cat can be an asshole sometimes and there's no two ways about it. But the cat has it's heart in the right place and will promise to dispense...

Pretty Decent Boyfriend Men's Crew Socks

$12.99

Read between the lines. Our Pretty Decent Boyfriend Men's Crew Socks tells it like it is. There's no gushing Facebook post of undying love, just some honesty bundled up in a cozy pair of socks he may or may not forget to put in the hamper: I usually do...

Pretty Pastel Stars + Stripes Face Mask

$9.99

Stay salty but not too nauti! Our Pretty Pastel Stars + Stripes Face Mask is an unbelievably cute mask to wear out. The muted pastels with the stars and stripes give it a weathered nautical theme that looks great with shorts or jeans! The triple...

Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser

$9.99

Our Purr Tea Kitty Cat Infuser will help brew the purrrfect cup of tea! Just fill this adorable kitty shaped tea infuser with your favorite loose tea leaves, hang its little paws on the edge of your cup, and you’ll be curling up with the coziest...

Quantum Physics for Babies

$9.99

Explanations of ideas for your future genius! Written by an expert, our Quantum Physics for Babies is a colorfully simple introduction to the principle that gives quantum physics its name. Babies (and grownups!) will discover that the wild world of...

Queen Of Bitch Mountain Socks

$10.99

Chances are... you know the perfect recipient of our Queen Of Bitch Mountain Socks! Because you're either the Queen or you're a member of the court. You decide. So whether you bestow this gift upon yourself, or present it to your favorite devilish vixen,...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Ralphie Bunny Suit Pop-Up Christmas Story Card

$5.99

The pink nightmare that we all love! Make all their wishes come true with our Ralphie Bunny Suit Pop-Up Christmas Card... because unlike a bunny suit, a card is always the perfect fit! Inspired by The Christmas Story, this hilarious pop-up is sure to...

Reach For The Stars Floaty Pen

$4.99

Cats in space! Our cosmic Reach For The Stars Write Side Up Floaty Pen is probably the coolest pen ever made! Watch space kitty slide up and down your pen and distract you from everything that you’re supposed to be doing. Seriously, you might take...

Red Red Wine Candle

$11.99 $10.55

Why? Wine not? Our red, red, Wine Candle is totally lit! A fun and unqiue gift for wine lovers. Now you can have Red Wine (scent) with every meal! Perfect for when you need to stay level headed, and the only thing you'll be pouring over that night is...

Relax! After All You're The F*cking Birthday Girl Card

$4.99

Shut the door and have some me time! Seriously.  Relax! After All You're The Fucking Birthday Girl!  You probably haven't had time to pee without interruption in years.  Take today, you deserve it! Made in the USA! Printed on premium...

Retro Rocket Rascals in Space Face Mask

$12.99

Retro-futuristic cuteness overload The more we look at our totally rockin' Retro Rocket Rascals in Space Face Mask, the more we fall in love with it! If there is a parallel universe like this out there - sign us up for the next wormhole teleport! This...

Rubber Chicken Air Freshener

$4.99

Highest rated air freshener by killer clowns! Your car has been smelling funny lately, but our Rubber Chicken Air Freshener by Archie McPhee will make it smell downright hilarious! Lucky for you (and for your unsuspecting passengers) this particular...

Saint Dr. Fauci Hand Sanitizer

$12.99

Saint Fauci says stay clean, stay safe! Our special quarantine edition Saint Dr. Fauci Hand Sanitizer is perfect for staying clean at home. Well, now he's saying you can take it out with you. Wait, you can take it out if it maintains a six foot distance...

Saint Trump Hand Sanitizer

$12.99

 Hugely eliminates 99% of fake news President Trump fans and foes just love our fun and functional hand sanitizer!  Use it now, or keep it to hand down through generations to commemorate the clusterf*ck known as 2020! Refillable matte glass...

Scratch Off Retro Caboodle Greeting Card

$5.99

Makeup your own scratch-off message! Our iconic Scratch Off Caboodle Greeting Card is a totally awesome card to have on hand - you know just in case... *ba dum tss*    Seriously, though. It's totally customizable, and there's no text inside so...

Scratch-Off Note Cards

$15.99

Everyone can be a winner... if you want them to be. Spread a little kindness with these Random Scratch of Kindness Mini Notes! Write or draw something in the blank area, then cover it with the scratch-off sticker provided and give it away. Scratching...

Second Place Dad Award Ribbon

$4.99

I'm thirsty... Hi thirsty, I'm Dad! Our Second Place Dad Ribbon is a special award for all those dads out there that have given up on teaching the basics. Maybe there's nothing wrong with letting Netflix and video games raise the kids... right? Bad...

Shooting Star Rainbow Kiddo Float

$19.99 $17.19

The More You Know Our Shooting Star Rainbow Kiddo Float encourages you to reach for the stars! While some of you may notice it looks a heck of a lot like the ole NBC PSA logo, others may just see for what it is! An awesome gift for star gazers and...

Shut The Hell Up Gum

$1.99

Shut Your Mouth Please Seriously. How about a nice big pack of SHUT THE HELL UP! 8 Cinnamon pieces to chew all at once unless you've got more than one person in your life you wish would stop their yakkin'! Pack measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches...

Soap For Cat People

$8.99

Smells Like Purring Our a-meow-zing Soap for Cat People is a fun and purr-fect gift for the person in your life that loves cats! It's scented like warm milk which no cat or cat lover can resist. Having more than three cats isn't crazy. They may leave...

Soap for Dad Bods

$9.99

Smells like cookies & cable sports Our Soap for Dad Bods helps build unwavering confidence and smells like toasted marshmallow. Mmmmm... marshmallows. And now there's no reason to feel guilty for indulging. Thanks to an incredible new development in...

Soap For Dog People

$8.99

Smells like unconditional love Our ultiMutt Soap for Dog People is a fun and te-ruff-ect gift for the person in your life that loves cats! It's scented like Grassy Dog Park which every dog lover is familiar with and loves. You know the smell... grass,...

Soap for Karma

$9.99

Scented with Ha-ha-ha-ha. Sorry not sorry. Our Soap for Karma is a perfect gift for those who Know-What-They-Did. What goes around... comes around, we hope. We're not necessarily talking about tricky STDs here, although, y'know, you reap what you sow...

Soap for the Trophy Husband

$9.99

Living your best life. Our Soap for the Trophy Husband is for that lucky guy... see him there. See that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a...

Some People Just Need A High Five Gum

$1.99

We think you know those kinds of people. You know them well... Maybe TOO well. Sorry about that, by the way. You deserve more.   Our "Some People Just Need A High Five. In the Face. With a Chair" Gum will help you easily relay your empathy and...

Squirrel In Underpants Air Freshener

$4.99

It might seem weird at first, but if you think about it, squirrels in underpants were inevitable. Those little streakers have been running naked through trees for too long! This mildly insane air freshener, which thankfully smells better than a squirrel...

Star Trek Light-and-Sound Tricorder Set

$12.99

Space... The final frontier. Introducing our Star Trek Light-and-Sound Tricorder Set! Fans and collectors of the hit sci-fi series Star Trek: The Next Generation with Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise, will love this one-of-a-kind,...

Stay Connected Metallic Retro Phone Face Mask

$12.99

Hello from the other side... of my mask. Hello... is it our Stay Connected Retro Phone Rainbow Mask you're looking for?  You're in luck, buttercup! Safe social distancing is calling - it's for you!  Don't hang up on 2020 just yet. We know you...

Strawberry CBD Lollipops

$14.99

You're so berry sweet! Our super yummy Strawberry CBD Lollipops are ready to melt your anxiety away. These suckers look, feel and taste just like a lollipop but they won't leave you feeling the same because these are made with the purest form of CBD, an...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$12.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious housewarming or hostess...

Sunday Football Nothing Else Matters Men's Socks

$12.99

Men And Their Football Rituals Socks Sunday Funday?  So, yeah. NEWSFLASH: Unless that involves going to a game, watching a game, or smack talking about a game that's on hold until the end of the football season... and nothing else matters. Might as...

Super Duper Scooper Giant Ice Cream Cone Snow Tube Sled

$24.99 $21.99

Snow Queen meets Dairy Queen I scream, you scream, we all scream while hanging on for dear life to our humongous Super Duper Scooper Giant Ice Cream Cone Snow Tube Sled! For the snow bunny with a sweet tooth... if a foot of fresh snow reminds you of...

Teeny-Tiny Record Turntable

$12.99

Includes 3 Mini-LPs to Play! Let those records spin with the Teeny-Tiny Record Turntable! While your record collection is miles away at home, this retro-style kit adds a bit of vintage vinyl charm to any home or office! This nostalgia inducing kit...

Thank You! Rainbow Glitter Card

$5.99

Start chasing rainbows! Our Thank You Rainbow Glitter Card does a great job of letting someone know how thankful you are! Adorned a three-dimensional glittery goodness of a smiling rainbow with open arms! The cherry on top is the amazing matching...

Thanks A Buttload Cat Butt Thank You Card

$4.99

Nothing Butt Thanks! It goes with out saying that the Thanks a Buttload Card sent with a cat's butt on it is so much better than a card without a cat's butt. A purr-fect thank you card to send to anyone that helped you out when you kneaded it. The...

The Difference Between Pizza And Your Opinion Gum

$1.99

We imagine that this is what the Lady said to the Tramp, right before she walked out of the Red Sauce Joint they once called "our place."  It's a sad story, but it's a pretty funny gum. Our extra saucy The Difference Between Pizza and Your...

The Dog'll Get It Dish Towel

$10.99

Don't worry about it... I have a dog. You'll keep this The Dog'll Get It Dish Towel clean if you have a dog around... they clean up everything!   Super-absorbent 100% unbleached cotton Fun design Great gift for all dog lovers! Made from...

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

$12.99

Baked with love weed You know who our The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt is perfect for... yep, grandma. With prescription prices criminally high, do you really think she's not baking in a little something something?! Make edibles or get out of...

The Little Lantern

$8.99

What is this? A lantern for ants?? Step away from the kerosene, Zoolander fans, and allow us to shed some light on the situation.  Our wicked cute Little Lantern is an intentionally miniature version of the classic style lantern...

The Oregon Trail Micro Arcade

$21.99

You have died of dysentery The Oregon Trail Micro Arcade plays like the original video game from the 1980's with digitally modified sound effects to fit in the mini speaker. Now it's played in an incredible compact credit card size which makes it the...

The Original Wiz-z-zer

$7.99

Go on, take it for a spin The Original Wiz-z-zer is back and it's ready to shred the competition! Step aside Beyblades there's a new sheriff in town!  You can't expect your mom to hold on to you all of your old toys! So, if you've been looking...

The Rocket Ship Snow Tube

$34.99 $26.99

Get ready for blast off! When the weather forecast is predicting an arctic blast-off, it’s time to inflate the Rocket Ship Snow Tube, call up your best bud and schedule a slope session. Besides being comfier than those old plastic slabs...

The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks

$10.99

Embrace the suck with our The Universe is Kind of a Dick Socks! Sure things may look bad now, but bad news in a cutie-pie cat, red dress, and yellow shoe-clad, blue-eyed kitten package ain't really all that bad in the end.  Enjoy giving the universe...

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