Listen Up B*tches, We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card
Contiguous US: Free Shipping on orders over $75. $4.99 on orders under $75. Average transit time of 4 business days. Rush shipping options are also available.
Alaska + Hawaii: Flat rate for all you can ship $23.99. Average transit time of 3 business days.
International: We ship to most countries. Shipping fee is based on weight and dimensions of order. Transit times vary based on your country's customs processing times.
Processing time: All orders ship from our warehouse in Virginia within one business day.
We offer free shipping on qualified orders over $75 after any coupons have been applied and shipping within the contiguous United States. Orders under $75 ship to the contiguous United States for $4.99 (more information)
Time To Ship
APO + FPO Addresses
We ship to APO and FPO addresses via the USPS and include the required customs forms. Free shipping is not available.
Alaska + Hawaii
We offer a flat rate of $23.99 for all you can ship to Alaska and Hawaii.
Shipping charges are based on your delivery location and order weight/dimensions. You will be shown the cost and approximate delivery date during checkout.
60 Day Returns
Customer satisfaction is extremely important to us!
If you are not completely satisfied with your order, you may return your purchse with 60 days of receiving your order. (view full return policy)
Payment Methods + Secure Checkout
No need to re-enter your information! Check out quickly and safely with Apple Pay, Paypal, Amazon Pay, Meta, G Pay or Shop payment or your prefered credit card.
If you were a cheese, you'd be a damn fine one.
Birthdays come every year and this sassy Listen Up Bitches We're Not Getting Older, We're Getting Better Birthday Card is a great send to all your besties. It's time to tell it like it is... We're Not Getting Older... We're Getting Better! This special birthday friend is getting more wonderful, not aged, as the years roll on.
A fantastic card to send to your group for everyone to get together and raise a glass and maybe some hell again. Because really, when was the last time you were all together? Tammy's wedding? That didn't really count... you know why. I don't even want to talk about that shit.
So, snap up a stash of this brash greeting and send it on out to all of your friends and family members who enjoy a good laugh and a saucy birthday party.
Size A2 folded card measures 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches. Blank inside. Accompanied by shimmery copper 80 lb envelope. Premium 100 lb paper. Printed with soy based inks.
Our Listen Up B*tches We're Not Getting Older Birthday Card is proudly made in the USA!