null

Shop By Theme

Shop by theme to find the perfect gift for that perfect person!

Fowl Language Mug

$17.99

Fowl-mouthed fine feathered friends! Some of our feathered friends are positively fowl-mouthed and our amusing Fowl Language Mug features a collection of seemingly innocent birds, all with rather rude names. This is the perfect mug for any bird...

100% Legal Pot (Holder)

$9.99

Get Baked + Cook At The Same Time! So, what you've got here is a pot holder that LOOKS like a pot leaf! Pot ... pot. Hilarious!  Long after the novelty of this aptly-named product wears off, you'll be enjoying its quality construction and...

Bottle Top Birthday Candle

$5.99

Beer is better than cake! The amazing Skumps Bottle Top Candle is the perfect celebratory accessory for your best pal who is on a steady liquid diet for the evening! Just pop it into a bottle and start singing! Use this attention grabbing bottle...

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

$6.99

You know someone that needs this! Attention all Congressmen, Senators, heads of production companies...  Where you put your hands is none of our business, unless it is on someone else!  We've become quite concerned when you involve other...

Soft Touch Camo Face Mask

$9.99

Comfort in camo! Our Soft Touch Camo Face Mask is meant to help meet CDC recommendations to cover the nose and mouth when in an environment where social distancing is not possible. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch cotton/spandex mix which...

Car Full Of Aliens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Make your car a UFO! Our Car Full of Aliens Auto Sunshade makes it look like you’re escaping from Area 51! Through the advanced, futuristic power of shade, this out of this world sunshade will allow you to park in the sun without your interior...

F*cking Meetings Candle

$19.99

Smells like this could have been an email... Our angst-poured Fucking Meetings Candle is for anyone that has been called to a meeting that was really about nothing... or at least should've just been a group email regarding the subject. The candle has a...

Filing Saucer UFO Paper Clip Holder

$11.99

Desk Space Invaders Don't let your paper clips get lost in the black hole of your desk drawer. Our Flying "Filing" Saucer paperclip holder  magnetically "abducts" the included cow-shaped clips so they're ready to organize all your classified...

I Never Fart Socks

$10.99

I never fart, but I do lie.  Pick up a pair of our I Never Fart Women's Crew Socks for that friend that somehow manages to hold it all in until she gets home. We all know that one person that always seems to have their shit together and they never...

Just Beachy Shark Bait Face Mask

$12.99

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water Don't get too chummy out there buddy! Protect yourself from the circling crowds with our Just Beachy Shark Bait Face Mask! It's like a life preserver for your face.  Handmade in the...

President Of Local Gas Company Men's Socks

$12.99

It's hard to believe it all started in the mailroom. Some guys just have that special "something" that makes them a good fit for our President of the Local Gas Company Men's Crew Socks. Maybe it's the meal planning? Maybe it's the finger pulling? Some...

Rockstar Guitar Case Lunch Box

$19.99

Carry sandwiches like a rock-n-roll star. Cool kids bring their own lunch. The coolest kids conceal their lunch in a guitar case. Prove your rock-star credentials, decorate with your favorite band stickers. Or prove you're eating 5-a-day and decorate...

The Breakfast Scrub

$7.99

  Join the clean plate club! Rise and shine, it’s time to join the clean plate club! If your sink contains more than a short stack, The Breakfast Scrub is here to help. Pancake Stack Sponge Egg Sponge Bacon...

American Flag Face Mask

$9.99

Wear Old Glory everyday with pride! Our American Flag Face Mask is a fun and functional way to celebrate patriotism this summer! Wear it with pride, wear it for the 4th and wear it as your go-to mask. This mask is sewn of three layers of soft touch...

Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade

$17.99

Keeps your car from getting as hot as a rotisserie oven Looking at our Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade, you can imagine that these five Rubber Chickens just flew the coop in your car. They’re on the run from the fox police with permanent...

Duchess Of Sassytown Socks

$10.99

Sassy Socks For Her Now, we're sure that being the Duchess of Cambridge has its perks... like hanging out with Prince Harry vs having to scoop the litter box. But honestly, rather than be a fancy aristocrat, we'd much prefer to prance around town in our...

Global Wishes Dandelion Necklace

$12.99

Best wishes! Dandelions are proof that perception is the key to happiness.  Where some may see a lawn full of weeds, the lucky ones see a field full of wishes! While counting your blessings and being grateful is wonderful, being given the...

Just Ripe Avocado Sponge

$5.99

Avocadon’t get me started about dirty dishes! Holy guacamole, that’s a lot of dishes! Our Just Ripe avocado sponge by Fred has three hard-working layers to get your dishes fresh and clean! One sponge. The...

Kicking Ass + Taking Names Greeting Card

$4.99

Boss lady takes no prisoners! Our celebratory Kicking Ass and Taking Names Greeting Card is a fantastic gift to someone is getting that big promotion or is adding names to the shit list! This boss lady isn't slowing down, she's kicking ass and taking...

Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask

$12.99

Wine, beer, liquor, booze... Shirley Temple? No matter your drink of choice, we've got you covered - your face that is - with our handmade Kitschy Cocktail Hour Face Mask! Handsomely decorated with a swanky array of retro decanters and etched...

Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card

$4.99

Weed, cheese and wine... oh my! Our celebratory Let's Get Stoned, I Mean Drink Wine Greeting Card is the perfect birthday card for a close puff-pass friend! Let's get stoned! I mean... let's a nice bottle of wine and some fancy cheese! Honestly, I'm...

Rainbow Puke Lollipop

$4.99 $3.99

Time to throw on your galoshes! Our Rainbow Puke Lollipop is so fantastic it has the entire Perpetual Kid staff literally puking rainbows! This lovable abomination of nature looks like a rainbow threw up all over our unsuspecting lollipop, and...

Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set

$12.99

Lather, rinse, and f*cking repeat Show them how you really feel about tedious tasks with our Subversive Cross-Stitch Sponge Set. Because as you know, doing the dishes brings out the surly side in all of us. This hilarious housewarming or hostess...

The Ridiculously Rude Plants Mug

$17.99

Excuse me, have you snipped your Shaggy Soldier? Our Ridiculously Rude Plants Mug features a fun collection of seemingly innocent plants that all have ridiculously rude names. This is the perfect mug for any gardener who would get a chuckle over a...

Vintage Camper RV Road Trip Face Mask

$12.99

On the road again. Goin' places that I've never been... Deck yourself out in our Vintage Camper RV Road Trip Face Mask - it's is a real gas!  Being quarantined has been a real bummer, and has many folks longing for the freedom of the open...

Always Be A Unicorn Socks

$10.99

Introducing our Always Be A Unicorn Socks! Also know as Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Then Always Be A Unicorn Socks! We're not going to say that it wasn't a struggle to fit all those words on a sock, but we're also not going to say...

Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich

$3.99

Out Of This World! Our Astronaut Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwich takes the ice cream you know and love, and with the power of freeze-drying to create a yummy retro treat! Since the early NASA Mercury Missions, space food has gone global! Today, Astronaut...

B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt

$12.99

B*tch is the new black Our B*tches Get Stuff Done Oven Mitt is the perfect kitchen accessory for the non-conforming, sometimes foul-mouthed, matriarch. We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that,...

Good Book Flask

$19.99

The greatest book ever has a hidden compartment! Stash your favorite nip in the Good Book and stash it on your bookshelf!  Heavenly 4 oz stainless steel hip flask. Makes a great gift for grandpa! Grandma needs to mind her own business. It fits...

I'll Feed All You F*ckers Oven Mitt

$12.99

Hungry? Embracing the challenges of fatherhood our I'll Feed All You F*ckers Oven Mitt is a nod to the king of the BBQ! What's that? You brought some friends home from school? You invited the neighborhood over for dinner? When will dinner be ready?...

Lil' Lager Baby Bottle

$12.99

Do you have a milk chugger? Double-takes are guaranteed when your kid starts knocking back their favorite beverage with our hilarious Chill, Baby Lil' Lager Baby Bottle.    No it's not beer, it's just good old smooth and creamy baby formula...

Lil' Rainbow Glitter Kiddie Pool Float

$14.99

What could be better than our Happy Lil' Rainbow Kiddie Pool Float for your little pot of gold! You're going to have an unforgettable summer with your kiddos! This Happy Rainbow Lil’ Float is dual-chambered for stability, featuring a secure &...

Master Crapsman Poo- Pourri Gift Set

$19.99

It’s Poo hunting season! The perfect gift for the handyman in your life, Master Crapsman Gift Set comes with both Trap-A-Crap and Royal Flush scents. Maybe it's one bottle for the basement aka man cave and another for our in the garage? Whatever...

Official World's Smallest Care Bear

$6.99

Classic fun with a retro gift! Our bright World's Smallest Care Bears are your favorite group of colorful and caring bears that just got a lot smaller! Spread some love or beat the bluest of blues with Cheer Bear, Funshine Bear, Share Bear and Grumpy...

Perched Sponges

$12.99

This Robin will be rockin' your dishes in no time! Washing dishes is for the damn birds! It’s time to let these fly guys help out.  These seriously charming bird sponges with an artful modern design make a great hostess gift for a...

Pop Pop Snappers

$1.49

Drop it!  Throw it!  Step on it!  Snap it! The one thing standing between you and having the time of your life is getting our old school Pop Pop Snappers!  These classic bang snaps aren't just fun to throw, they're the best...

XYZ Blocks Artist Series Puzzle

$19.99

Supports independent artists! ABC alphabet block art for the rest of us! Our Fred XYZ Blocks Puzzle is full of fun and unusual illustrations with everything from meatloaf, litterbox, waffles, quicksand, trailers, corn dogs and donuts!  What...

B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel

$10.99

BTFU What may be an in-salt to some, our B*tch I Am The Secret Ingredient Dish Towel is the perfect gift for the seasoned chef, who uses a heavy dose humor and wit. Featuring a colorful and classic repetitive design, it's reminiscent of our...

Cotton Candy Scented Unicorn Air Freshener

$4.99 $4.39

Instantly make your commute magical with our Cotton Candy Scented Unicorn Air Freshener! Before your very own eyes, your car will turn into a mobile fantasy land populated with unicorns! A sweet treat for your eyes as well as your nose! For just like a...

Official World's Smallest Super Soaker

$6.99

Squirts up to 25 feet! Yes, the World's Smallest Super Soaker actually works! Not even 4 inches long, it holds enough water to shoot off a dozen shots with distances up to 25 feet away! Great for the office, car or even as a sidearm in a water gun fight...

Sew Sweet Watermelon Face Mask

$12.99

Oh, my, gourd, Becky. Look at her mask! Our bright and cheerful Sew Sweet Watermelon Face Mask is fresh on the market, and sure to be the talk of the town. Life's a freaking picnic alright! Covid-19 is like the uninvited guest at said picnic... but...

The Book Lover's Mug

$14.99

Have you read all these books yet? Why not curl up for a good read with The Book Lover's Mug. The mug has 30 unforgettable classic novels to choose from that will inspire the book lover in everybody. How many have you read? This mug is a fantastic gift...

World's Smallest Barbie Dreamhouse

$7.99

The most popular Barbie accessory of all time! The one and only Barbie 1978 A-Frame Dreamhouse is back in miniature size! Now fans of all ages can customize their very own World’s Smallest Barbie Dreamhouse with re-stickable décor stickers...

Bitches Get Stuff Done Coin Purse

$4.99

Go ahead.  At first glance, it may seem like this little girl is taking a joy ride on a sweet, puffy cloud.  But look again.  Kind of looks like the cloud's the one being taken for a ride, doesn't it?  Introducing the subtle...

Cakewich Sandwich Cake Mold

$24.99

Send me to school with this cake sandwich for lunch! Our Cakewich by Fred was so popular and missed that we brought it back! And after all of this time... the best thing since sliced bread is still cake!  It even has its own sandwich spread in Food...

Fuck It All Pen Set

$9.99

Great conversational pens! When the moment serves, you'll be ready with our Fuck It All Pen Set! Keep the whole five pen collection ready at your desk or carry your favorite one that seems to cover all the bases at all times! The Fuck It All Pen Set is...

Retro Classic Mattel Basketball Keychain

$11.99

  A miniature version of the original our Mattel Electronics Basketball Handheld Game Keychain is a slam dunk! Before game consoles, mobile gaming, and online games - heck, before there was the internet - handhelds like this started it all! This...

Slow Brew Two For Tea Mug + Sloth Tea Infuser Gift Set

$19.99

Sloths really know how to embrace life in the slow lane. Follow their lead, kick back, and take a long, slow sip of perfectly brewed tea. Our cozy Two For Tea Mug & Sloth Tea Infuser Gift Set is the perfect companion for when you're feeling...

Washabi Sponges

$7.99

Maki your cleaning routine fun! Doing dishes is a raw deal, so let Washabi Kitchen Sponges help lighten the mood! Each perfectly-paired set includes: One shrimp sushi One tuna sushi One tamago sushi Hi quality multilayers by Fred that get the...

World's Smallest Glo Worm

$6.99

Glo Worm is still glowing after all these years! Lay your head on your pillow and start counting sheep with the World’s Smallest Glo Worm by your side. The iconic favorite cuddle bug of the 80's is back in a big but smallest way. Glo Worm is ready...

CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg

$119.99

Keep Calm and Munch On Yummy CBD Gummies Introducing our mega-huge CBD Gummy Bear Party Pack 3000mg!  Personally, we eat our CBD gummy bears two at at time. So they don't have to die alone.  We're thoughtful like that. CBD...

Crap Jokes Toilet Paper

$6.99

Do clown farts smell funny? Our pun-intended Crap Jokes Toilet Paper reminds us of a simpler time of reading a magazine while in the bathroom. You gained a wealth of knowledge, whether it was an old TV Guide or People, you learned something. Now, once...

Crazy Cat Dude Men's Socks

$12.99

They're out there! It's time we came together as a country and understand that yes, men can be crazy cat ladies too. Were they born like this or is this due to their nurturing? Having a p*nis does not mean you can't be cat crazy! Warning signs of a crazy...

Dirty Dog Dish Sponge Set

$7.99

Cleaner than having your dog like the plates! Oh good dirty doggie! Who’s ready for some belly scrubs!? Fred’s adorable Dirty Dog sponge set is ready to get your dishes im-paw-sibly clean! Set includes: One dog sponge One...

F*ck Off I'm Reading Socks

$10.99

Book Nerd Warning Socks! Oh, for the love of books! Our Fuck Off I'm Reading Socks should keep them quiet! At least you can say you gave them a fair warning. Low key, yet shockingly hilarious this fun pair of toe warmers is a must to add to your...

Mini Zoltar - He Speaks!

$12.99

Zoltar "Make Your Wish" Our Mini Zoltar - He Speaks! is inspired by the all-knowing animatronic fortune teller, who made it to the Big screen with Tom Hanks in the late 80's! Authentic retro-styled Zoltar machine Crystal ball gives off a blue...

Official World's Smallest School Bus

$7.99

The wheels on the bus go round and round.... OMG. We can hardly stand it! Talk about a trip down memory lane! The World's Smallest Fisher Price Little People School Bus is just like the one you'll remember from your childhood. It features the iconic...

People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel

$10.99

Far superior to paypurrr products. Our hiss-terical People I Love: Cats. Dish Towel just barely scratches the surface of ones pre-fur-ence for cats over humans. Purrrhaps you're looking for a gift for your crazy cat lady friend? or maybe you just...

Ramen Noodles Sticky Notes

$7.99

Oodles of doodles Don't forget to pick up a pack of Ramen Noodles Sticky Notes next time you get a craving... to leave a memo.  They're a quick and easy way to satisfy your note leaving urges! Each hilarious reusable zipper-lock bag contains...

Sign Up For The Latest Coupons, Product Launches + Secret Sales